The Light Behind Your Eyes

by StarfirexRobinfan24

A different look at the life and times of RIchard Grayson and Kori Anders. Love, lust,... friendship, pain... life.. all that jazz. Its my first story, but Im confident its at least decent. Will be adding more chapters real soon so enjoy... ] Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever owned anything Teen Titans related

27. A Life That's So Demanding

Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Life That's So Demanding

(Kori Anders' POV)

Distant, awkward, estranged... that's how things were. It was understandable, predictable even, and yet it didn't make things any easier to exist in. I wasn't so foolish to believe that any desired expectation I had in hopes for things to go back to the way they once were was anything but absurd. I was well aware that life would forever be changed, how could it not? Our hearts, all of ours, they were tainted in an eternal darkness in consequence to the actions we had carried out. It didn't matter that it was only Rachel who was directly responsible for Mr. Roth's death, in the end we had sealed our fates, each played a part in all the chaos, each guaranteeing a permanent cold force within us that would forever reek of guilt... and the way things were going, it wasn't going to get better any time soon.

Two weeks, since that very dark night in Oregon, that's all it took to get back to 'normal'. Or, actually, that's all it took to perfect this deceiving mask which now overshadowed our hollowed hearts. The media had set a fire under all of our lives since we had returned and all we could do was make the best of it, but that's fine, this was the way our lives had always been. I think the hardest part of all of this was the segment of our lives were nonetheless dark, our emotions scattered, our guilt and fear of being found out... it played a part in our everyday life now. Which, of course as I said, was expected.

From the moment our feet hit California soil we were thrust back into our lives of glamour and forced smiles, blinding lights, and burning eyes of deceptive judgement. Theories of our getaway, shallow sympathy exerted upon us only in hopes of the chance to reveal more inside information of our current lives were overwhelmingly constant. Why? Because we had returned from Oregon yesterday and at a very emotional time. It was the holidays, Bruce and Alfred were back in town, the Manor back in order and sprung back into life for such a occasion. It was strange being in that house now, at least for me, and yet, I was content. Well, I told myself I was. I was off my meds now, by my choice, no one else's. Everyone believed me to continue the prescribed amount of dosage being given to me but I had found ways around the fact. And, as expected, Dick was never more protective of me but I had managed to find ways to separate myself from him in certain instances. Not because I was annoyed or frustrated with him but more because I knew he needed a break; time for himself.

Now, when I say it was holiday time in Jump City that's precisely what it was. And it was in no way a normal occasion. Holidays at the Manor were always extravagant, over the top, submerged in elegant gowns, glamorous egos crowded in the confines of the Manor walls with shallow hearts built up and brimming with brown-nosing composure and objectives all here for one reason... Bruce Wayne. Which, again, is understandable and yet it did not make this scenario any easier, no, what did was the fact that my friends, all of them, would be by my side throughout this testing time.

I sat in my room at the moment, staring back at myself in the mirror across from me, my mind in its usual state of distress. I could tell that even without the bruises and scabs which use to consume my features I still didn't look myself. Or actually, I suppose in reality I did but I merely didn't see myself the way I used to and I wasn't sure I ever would. But that's not what mattered at a time like this. I had to be ready for an evening spent in the Manor. Dick had been texting me nonstop for the past hour and was becoming more infuriated with my hesitation and lag in response. In the end I was not looking forward to this evening. I had, or rather we all had, endured an intense, long lecture from Bruce earlier today. He had officially taken the liberty of descending upon us as the only real consistent parental guidance in our lives. He extended his sympathy and concern, in his distant Bruce Wayne way, and then forced expectations and logic he would otherwise now intend to expect from us to ensure our safety. Which was fine, to be honest it was nice to know there was someone looking after us. My mother, I knew she loved me but she couldn't handle situations like this. When she heard I was back at home with Komi she sent me flowers. Yea, that's about it. No phone call, no check up, nothing, but I understood; its just how she was.

As it were, while Dick had given me the space to somewhat become more independent and without his constant watch, he would be foolish if he didn't think I hadn't become aware of the body guard he had ordered to keep an eye on me from a distance when I was not around him. It didn't bother me though, the man shadowed me from a distance, never actually bothering me. In the end, If it made Dick more comfortable to know I was under constant watch then that's really all that mattered. Although, when I first realized someone following me I initially became paranoid. I already felt a constant amount of anxiety on a daily basis and was thoroughly relieved when I overheard a conversation between said bodyguard and Dick, but my anxiety wasn't dying down in the very least.

In any event, the only thing that concerned me was my sudden ability to sleep through the night. Keep in mind, I hadn't spent a night away from Richard and I wasn't really looking forward to when I would have to sleep on my own, but the nightmares had seem to... I wouldn't say vanish, but they were less aggressive. Perhaps the reality of Mr. Roth decaying somewhere in the frosted mountains of Oregon, no matter how gruesome a vision it was, it gave me closure and while I was still very much afraid of what I had been through, what I had suffered, nothing truly seemed so bad.

I stood now, dressed in my evening attire and lingered before Rachel's bedroom door. We were suppose to leave ten minutes ago for the Manor and yet she had locked herself away refusing to come out.

"Come on Rae. We're already late." I knocked again.

I pressed my ear against her door and held my breath to hear the muffled noise within her room better. There was a nauseated sniffle before her groggy voice sounded. "Yea... uh.." another sniffle. "...I'll be right there. Give me one more minute."

Five minutes later the door finally opened. My eyes narrowed over her large eyed gaze which zoned into mine in a sort of intense surge of emotion. I wasn't entirely sure what she was up to but since the night we... well, you know,... she had seemed a little strange; more than usual I mean. Her pupils were dominating over her violet iris', the small patch of skin just beneath her nose was constantly red and chapped. I could tell she was on some sort of drug but I wasn't sure which one. She had become very fidgety lately and while I knew drawing attention to her odd behavior would only make matters worse, I knew I had to address it eventually.

"What took so long?"

Her eyes snapped to mine with sudden urgency and they narrowed over my existence in judgment. "I wasn't ready." They narrowed even more defensively. "I am now so... lets just go."

The drive, it was silent in terms of verbal conversation but that didn't mean we were immune to behavioral exchange of words. Rachel sat within the driver's seat, her eyes wide and moving frantically over the traffic and ever so often over at me. I knew she was aware that I was wise to her drug use but we never spoke of it. She constantly sent me a conflicted series of glances, first they were resembling that of her need to be understood, her eyes would soften, her brows burrowing, her forehead scrunched insecurely. Then it would quickly snap to defensiveness, her expression would harden, her eyes unblinking, that defined brow raised. Which, once her mind had time to ponder and contemplate my expression of pure confusion, she would turn to anger. The quiver of her brow let me know she was holding back an amount of sudden rage, her eyes would darken as if growling at me, stabbing at my existence,... but we never spoke. She would repeat this process of ever changing expressions and I would counter with ones of confusion, comfort and eventual carelessness.

In the end, I knew she would eventually open up to me about what she was dealing with and if I pressed the matter it would only cause her to become more defensive and inevitably prolong the progress of her current internal struggle. So I left it silent, speaking only words of neutral conversation.

"I'll see you in there." She said, parking the car and immediately joining the crowd of people who had arrived at the Manor alongside us.

I gave a brief nod which went unnoticed and then slowly forced myself to approach the large double doors of the Manor. I was immediately spotted by Alfred. He gave me his always charming smile, his elegant, accented welcome bestowed lovingly and he directed me to the ballroom. I remained there in an awkward vibe, giving my all to ignore the whispers of those around me who spoke of my past ordeal and stared at me in odd glances to continue their assumption that I should be far more bruised and shattered by the 'always reliable' information the magazines and news had spilled from my traumatic experience. I shut my eyes, inhaling deeply and focused on my breathing.

"Kori..." Bruce's strong voice said calling to me. I inhaled deeply as the crowd around him fell silent, their interest suddenly becoming more focused on Bruce then me. Now, by the look on their faces I could tell they were assuming Bruce was somewhat upset merely by the tone of voice, but you have to remember, this is Bruce and I knew him better. I could tell he was trying to mask the concern he felt. He knew what I meant to Richard and more importantly what I meant to him... I was family and he would never let me forget it.

I smiled as he stepped to me accepting my shaky hand, his other hand clasped over the other, mine wedged between his strong grip and as he realized I was shaken with nerves he did the one thing I could never have expected. He slowly lowered his arms around me, a hand around the center of my back and the other against the side of my head as he pulled me into his chest. I felt pity for him, he had no idea what any of us had done and while he bestowed his concerns and care for me the only emotion capable of feeling was guilt. If he only knew what I had done, what we had done, he would surely never look at us the same.

I felt his chest raise and then he released me. I stared up at him with a hesitant smile, my shakiness slowly fading as a closed mouthed smile stared back at me. "Dick is around here somewhere but would you do me the honor of having the next dance?"

Damn Bruce, I knew what this was. He was trying to get me to smile, loosen up and be myself and to be honest, ... I suddenly felt that way. I tried to hold back a giggle and followed as he led me to the center of the room.

"So..." He said with a very suggestive tone that I was certain if I had discarded it he would only continue.

I cleared my throat. "If this is about me and..."

"It is." He said strongly, and for a moment I wasn't sure if he was upset or not about it. Inhaling deeply he twirled me slowly then brought me back to him. "I am... otherwise thrilled to of heard the news of you and Dick's relationship. If not for recent events I might say this is the happiest I've ever seen him."

I blushed slightly. "Well,... I am, happy as well."

HIs demeanor changed, his gaze strengthening in intensity. "It will get easier Kori... we will eventually find 'him'. Until then, I am glad you and DIck have one another, and you will all always have me."

I smiled. "Oh Bruce... becoming a little more emotional than I would have anticipated." As I laughed he cleared his throat in aggreeance.

We paused as Dick's voice reached us. "May I?"

Bruce brought his footing to a halt and turned to Dick with a nod. He placed a hand upon Dick's shoulder and gave him a brief nod. "Perhaps you should keep a closer eye on your date. It was far too easy for me to take her from you."

Dick rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about it."

Bruce left with a mildly content chuckle then Dick looked to me, his gaze locked into mine and a held back smile focused on me. He and I had not really had a chance to discuss certain aspects of our relationship nor had either of us drawn attention to the fact my previous behavior had been anything less than the norm. It was the first time since all of this began that I was seeing him somewhat stress free. His eyes lingered over mine in a trance as they wandered up and down my appearance.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" I giggled. I was trying to coax him into a more pleasant mood. I knew he didn't want to be here surrounded by all these random faces, no one did, but we had to keep up appearances, it was expected of us, so here we were.

He leaned into me with a single, lingering sweet kiss. "You are so beautiful."

Swallowing hard I lowered my gaze to the floor in a blush that stung at my cheeks. It wasn't until I felt him place his arm around my waist and take my hand into his, initiating a dance that I looked up to him again.

"You know..." he began again. "If you don't want to be here..."

"I'm fine." I assured him, nestling my head into his shoulder, sending a kiss to his neck. A giggle sounded from me as his skin gave way to a ripple of a shutter.

I could feel the heated glare of the onlookers which had begun to focus their attention on me and Dick. We, all of us, all five of us, were the talk f the town. Poor infant children exposed to the horrors inflicted by a murderer. They called us survivors, strong,... and yet, this was nowhere near what I was feeling. I felt anxious all the time, never a dull moment, not even in my sleep and while they looked to us with smiles, I knew they should be replaced with fear and disgust of what we were actually capable of.

As we danced in further silence, our bodies clinging too one another's for comfort, I noticed Rachel and Gar enter the room in forced smiles. If it wasn't obvious to anyone else, Rachel didn't smile which was a dead giveaway that she was forcing herself to seem in a pleasant mood but I understood her feelings in this moment. She and Gar had been, I wouldn't say closer, but something about them seemed slightly different. Good or bad? I don't know.

The room around us was thriving with life and yet for me I felt alone. My mind screaming in silence, an unbearable amount of emotion scraping just beneath my skin. I felt alone, I knew I had Dick, and Rachel, and Gar, and Vic, and we were all giving our all to hold firm in strength for one another, we all knew it wasn't anything but that... forced. The four of us, I was unsure where Vic was at the moment, would often meet glances and the secret held just within the borders of our mind would be acknowledged in a brief nod or weak smile. We didn't speak of it but that in no way meant it was forgotten. How could it have been?

I fell from my thoughts as Dick suddenly paused. He took my hand into his and brought it to his lips in a gentle caress of a kiss then smiled. It became apparent to me that the dance had ended and I smile d back.

"I need to go speak with Bruce." He said, somewhat hesitant to do so. It was as if he were only telling me so I would force him from his desire to ignore his obligation as Jump City's beloved citizen. "I'll be quick."

I nodded, releasing his hand as he left me by the small bar in the corner of the room.

"Think you could spare some time for an old friend?'

I turned with a glare. This was the moment I was dreading, we may have been gone from Jump City for a while but our problems never left. The moment we stepped off Bruce's private plane our problems, the rest of our life, it picked up right where it left off.

"I don't think so Roy. If Dick even discovers you are talking to me then he'll..."

He laughed arrogantly. "I take it you didn't tell him about our brief rekindling of sorts?"

I inhaled deeply, wanting nothing more than to slap him.

He shrugged. "It seems to me that your going far out of your way to protect me from your boy toy." He smiled. "I'm flattered."

"Don't be. I haven't told him for fear of..."

"Of what he might do to me?"

"No. For fear of what..."

"What I might do to him?" His smile widened.

"No." I said loudly, then struggled to calm my frustration as several eyes focused on Roy and I. Inhaling deeply I stepped toward Roy, lowering my voice to a barely sustainable whisper. "I have no fear of what will happen to Dick should he discover what you did, only what it will do to his thoughts. We've all been through a lot lately and he... we don't need this Roy. He takes things like this far too seriously... and I think you know that."

His smile made me queasy and I couldn't help but regret that I had ever taken an interest in him. It was obvious now that my interpretation of the man he was, was obviously wrong.

"Leave her alone." Rachel's voice sounded.

Roy and I both looked to her as she approached alone. She glared at Roy with immense amount of tension which was only reciprocated back to her from his narrowed eyes.

"I said.. leave... her... alone."

Roy's posture suddenly stiffened and he looked to me with a smirk. "Well, if it isn't your body-guard. Always showing up when it's not necessary." He stepped aside, acknowledging Rachel once more before leaving into the crowd. "Bitch."

My eyes widened as the curse word breezed passed us but was instantly calmed with a laugh from Rachel. "I can't believe you ever dated him."

I sighed. "I don't really know what to think about anything right now. I don't... I don't really want to know why he wont just leave me alone." My attention moved past Rachel and to Dick. He stood at the edge of the room in conversation with Xavier. I wasn't sure why he would be conversing with him, Dick was never really a fan of him, but that wasn't what concerned me at the moment. I lifted a hand to my forehead. "I just want to focus on me and Dick. We... everything has just been really hard for us lately."

Rachel nodded. "Is this about he magazine?"

"What do you mean? What magazine?"

She raised a brow. "Oh, I thought you two had heard. Apparently there's this picture of you and Roy... together." She sighed, her eyes wandering over the crowd again. "Apparently there's this big dramatic theory that your cheating on Dick or something."

I felt a sense of panic rush over me. Issues within me and Dick's relationship was not what I needed right now. "What do you mean?"

Rachel sighed. "I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything."

As she went to turn away I pulled at her wrist. "Rachel..." I swallowed hard looking back at Dick, noticing a sudden change in his demeanor, he seemed less relaxed. "What... when was this picture taken?"

"I don't know I think it was the day you left the hospital." As she paused, allowing me time to think about that day, my mind completely crumbled. "I think its safe to say that Dick knows you didn't leave the hospital on your own and that of all people Roy was the one to..."

"I cant believe this. I don't... I..." I paused, eyes wide as I noticed Dick staring at me from across the room now, Xavier looking to me with a devious smirk. I exhaled slowly then gathered my thoughts. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Right but in the picture it clearly shows you two in each others arms kissing."

I rolled my eyes. "He kissed me and I was trying to push him off of me. I don't'..."

"Look, calm down." Rachel said annoyed. "You don't need to convince me of what happened. I already know you would never do that to Dick." She turned to the crowd now and we both swallowed hard as DIck made a b line for us. "Apparently ... its him who needs convincing."

Before I could respond Rachel dipped within the crowd vanishing instantly.

"Kori." Dick's voice finally reached me in an irate tone. I turned to him with a smile, but all he did was grind his teeth behind his lips. "Can I have a word?"

I nodded, not that I needed to. He was puling me from the room before even acknowledging my gesture. He led me into an empty room, and began pacing before me. I knew he was trying to find a reasonable, less conflicted, approached about what he, and myself, had only just discovered. His eyes glanced to me in a mixture of hurt and anger now and then but he just continued pacing.

We were all on edge, easily temperamental and while I understood his amount of anger right now there was no way I was going to be accommodating to his argument if the only reason for its arrival was his lack of trust in me.

"Dick."

He merely shook his head in response.

"Dick." I repeated. Raising my tone of voice I blocked his path. "Talk to me. Say what you have to say."

His eyes refused to meet mine. "I just... I just heard that you..." he fell silent again, his mind racing. "Did Roy pick you up from the hospital the day you checked yourself out? Was it him who brought you home when it should have been me?"

I sighed. "It wasn't planned and..."

"And he kissed you?"

I paused. Wait... what? Did I just hear him correctly? So he wasn't accusing me of kissing Roy which in any other occasion in the past he would have? This fact instantly calmed me down, at least he was trusting enough in me. "Yes, but.. but I stopped it as quickly as I could. It didn't mean..."

"Son of a bitch." He began pacing again. I could almost feel the heat from his anger rising off his skin.

"Dick..."

"He shouldn't have been the one to take you home." I agreed. "And he had the nerve to put his hands on you?"

I placed a hand upon his shoulder and drew his gaze to mine. My heart sunk at the sight of his infuriated expression. His billowing electric blue eyes hardened. There was no longer hurt within them, just anger.

I smiled, a hand against his cheek now. "It's not something you need to concern yourself with." I shrugged. "Don't let him get to you. We have plenty other things to be worried about."

He took my hand and forced it away from his cheek. "This isn't okay Kori. If I excuse his behavior its only going to get worse. He needs to be put in his place." He inhaled deeply, tightening his fists. "Is he here? Have you seen him?" He could tell from my immediate expression of fear that Roy was, and as he took to the exit of the room he paused. "Did he talk to you tonight?"

"Dick... I..."

"Did he?" He shouted, the vein in his neck pulsated at an alarming rate. I had seen him upset before but this, this was something far more intense.

I suddenly felt a tear stream down my cheek. There was no whimper that escaped my lips but I just couldn't stand to see him angry. After everything we have been through it only took a situation such a s this, when I can clearly see, hear, feel how upset he is, to send me over the edge. Roy just wasn't worth it. I just wish he could see that.

I shut my eyes and leaned back against the wall with a heavy sigh. All I wanted was for this night to be complied of amazing memories to add to our relationship, friendship, and yet it just wasn't happening. It seemed as though ever since Dick and I came together as a couple that our world had spun far too out of control. We had never really even had time, actual time, a prolonged period of time for ourselves. This realization hit me hard in this moment, and I knew it was only going to get worse. Complication... that's the name of the game, that's the entirety of my life... or so it seems.

My mind came to a pause and opening my eyes, they fell upon Richard. His thumb grazed against my cheek and it seemed as though the immense amount of anger he once held had vanished. As he spoke I became aware of the guilt which had washed over his features.

"I'm sorry." He rest his forehead against mine, bringing me tightly into his arms. "I'm not angry with you."

"You can't make a scene. Not over Roy, not here, you can't do that to Bruce." His chest raised as if to take a deep inhale and it seemed as though he had completely discarded his rage for Roy. He opened his mouth to speak but remained still as I laced an arm around his neck. "I love you Dick." Both of our eyes were shut, inhaling each others existence and it was right now that a thought crossed my mind. A thought that was far more then anything, I knew, he could expect in this moment. "Just be here... with me... no one else."

He hesitated as I took his hand and without reason led him back into the hallway. I could feel him slightly pull back on my hand as we became further from the celebration but I only tightened my grip. As we approached his room I heard him mumble something but I didn't take the time to understand it. Pulling him into his room I locked the door and turned back to him, him seeming nothing short of taken back by my desire to step away from the party to slip away to his room of all places.

"What are we doing in here?" He asked and I could immediately tell he felt anxious to return to the party for one purpose... finding Roy.

Ignoring him I smiled, making my way toward him. His hesitantly arched brow hung heavy over his intense gaze which had begun to take my appearance in fully now. I wore a snug fit lavender gown, his bracelet never leaving my wrist since he had last returned it to me. I notice a smirk surface from him as his eyes rest upon my wrist, where the bracelet remained. I hesitated before him trying to seem as seductive as I could manage without the thought of what was on his mind at the moment, which I could tell had not successfully shifted entirely to me.

"Do you love me, Richard?" I was thoroughly surprised that I had managed to compile enough strength to fight against the urge to smile, I wanted him to fully understand where I was going with this.

His gaze focused on mine, his expression not even attempting to hide his offense in the question. "Of course I do Kori. You know that."

I inhaled deeply, his eyes wandering over my features and I could tell he was becoming nervous at my demeanor now, unsure what I was thinking. I leaned my head forward, placing a hand behind his neck, holding him still as I slowly brought my lips against his. He did not hesitate to kiss me in return and with every stroke of his tongue against mine, I could sense the anger he felt slowly leaving him.

And the moment his touch became more aggressive, fully enveloped within the heat of the moment, my voice took to a whisper. I pulled my lips away, only inches from his, our heated fervent breathing continuing to be exchange with the close distance. I smiled slightly as his head jerked forward, insisting his hunger for more. "Then show me you love me." He suddenly paused, our eyes reading into one another's now. "With all the craziness in our life right now..." Running my hand down his chest, I kept my gaze fierce in my attempt to demonstrate how sexually frustrated I was suddenly feeling. "... all I want is to feel your love."

His voice asserted itself in a shaky amount words focused more on the logic of the situation. Logic, it seemed, he was clearly wanting to shove aside and just agree with me. "I ... I don't think this is the right time, Kor. I think ..."

I placed my index finger against his lips, silencing him instantly. "Stop talking."

I knew he wanted this, the only trouble was trying to show him that I did too and that I just didn't know how to say it previously. To be honest I couldn't think of a better way to relieve the stress we both felt then to engage in something more intimate between us. Sure, I had been through a tragic experience but I had felt this way before Mr. Roth, and I knew this would help me feel closer to him, help me smile and this truly was what I wanted. There was no amount of doubt, hesitation, anything that could make me reconsider this decision. I needed him.

I swallowed hard as I felt his body inhale deeply against me. I caught him glance to my lips, his attention focused on nothing more then me. The blue hue of his eyes suddenly sparked into a deeper, lustful driven gaze which trailed over my expression. As I sent him a seductive smile his lips collided with mine again. It was obvious Roy was the last thing on his mind now and I, the only thing I noticed was that his kiss had suddenly changed. His usual drive was still there, underlined with the same amount of intensity and yet his movements were slowed, passion... pure and true being exerted now. The once vigorous and strong presence of his hands on me had softened, not so much in intensity... again, passion. I was surprised when a smirk surfaced against his lips mid embrace. Our kiss deepened, all our frustration, anger, fears, worry, everything being expressed in our affection for one another. The heat of the moment quickly erupted in a fierce display of love and passion... and it came to a stop just as quickly.

He had thrust me back against one of the walls earning one of my giggles as I anticipated the following events to be exchanged between us out of nothing more than our love for one another. His lips were against my collar-bone, his hands relieving my shoulders from the straps of my gown when his kiss came to a halt as a small whimper of desire escaped me.

"What?" I asked breathlessly as he took a step back from me. The change in his demeanor now confused me, made me uneasy. He seemed conflicted. Was he not comfortable with this? Him of all people? "What's wrong?"

"I have to ask you something." He said running his fingers nervously through his hair, his gaze avoiding mine at all cost.

I inhaled deeply, the entire intimate moment vanishing. Resituating the straps to my dress back over each shoulder, a deep sigh of disappointment escaped me. "What?"

The fact that he felt the need to continue to keep his eyes averted from mine only made my nerves sink further. "Look, believe me, I ... I don't ..." He hesitated further, lowering himself upon the edge of his bed with a drawn out sigh. "I don't want to have to ask this but if I don't its going to keep driving me crazy."

"Alright."

He lowered his head into his hand, his elbows fixed upon his knees. His voice lowered in volume, a sense of hurt surfacing. "Did you..." a frustrated growl surfaced before continuing. "... did you... sleep with Roy?"

My eyes immediately narrowed, and it wasn't so much that the question bothered me, no, it was the uncertainty in his voice that hurt. It would have been easy to answer the question but I couldn't handle the amount of distance I felt between us now. I pulled myself up, rebalancing myself on my feet and off the wall and stepped toward the door.

"Kori... wait." He said following after me, a sense of desperation in his voice.

I turned to him in a glare, my finger extended in his direction, my voice raised. "For you to even think that..." I shook my head, my heart pounding now. "Since when have we ever let the press and media and... rumors, cloud our trust in one another. I can't..." I took a moment to inhale and absorb the obvious amount of uncertainty that lingered on his features before continuing. "I need space."

"What? Kori..." He said, his eyes receding into regret and fear. "Don't say that."

I held my ground. "I'll see you tomorrow. Just... give me time to absorb all of this."

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

(Richard Grayson's POV)

"Great..." I mumbled to myself, Kori's thin figure vanishing from my view.

I hated myself in this moment but there was something far more important I had on my mind. Don't misunderstand me though, Kori was the most important thing in my life and always would be and even though I had just caused a series of new problems in our relationship, this night was about something else. I had to stay focused. I had to remind myself what tonight was really about. What is it about you ask?... Mr. Roth.

Regardless of his death there was still more to this puzzle then met the eye. i knew it, I think Rachel was aware of it, but the others merely focused on getting back to normal. Which was perfect. I didn't need Kori stressing out over all of this. I needed to find the answers I sought on my own. The stress I felt in relation to having just made things between Kori and I more complicated had to be put aside. I had to make sure that she was safe. If this sounds a little crazy to you, fine, but I just had to be sure.

You see, while the others had simply overlooked a lot of the details about Mr. Roth's stay in Jump City... I hadn't.

He was working with someone and I knew Terra was nothing more than a pawn. Sure, she probably had a few details that could help me in this search for answers, but she wasn't my main concern. We had been back in Jump City only two hours yesterday before I realized a shadow on Kori. I was even more infuriated when I came to the realization that it had taken me a whole two hours to even notice she was being watched. It was my responsibility, not obligation, but pure desire to be the one to shield her from harm and that's exactly what I would do. She wanted more space since we had returned home and I was hesitant to give it to her, only doing so as I hired someone to keep an eye, not so much on her, but the stranger that lurked wherever she went.

The more difficult thing about all of this was why? Why was someone following Kori? Why not Rachel? Why not all of us? There had to be more to all of this... there had to be."

I quickly left my room, not bothering to return to the celebration. I had already made my appearance and that was all that was expected of me. I slipped into the farther corridors of the Manor to a dark room I had otherwise dubbed my own. She would be waiting there, just as I had demanded of her.

Shutting the door and locking it behind me, I stared back at her unblinking. "You came."

"You asked." She coughed.

Inhaling deeply I stepped toward her. "No one can know about this, not even Gar.. It's just you and me." She nodded. "Tell me everything."

She hesitated. "I just need you to know that I am just as much a victim in all of this as any of you."

That's not what I cared to hear. "Don't think for one second that I'd even be talking to you if I had no other option."

"Dick..."

"I don't care what you've been through. You'll never be anything aside from the one who put the most important person in my life in danger. Now ... I know Mr. Roth had help escaping from prison, he wasn't alone in finding his way back to Jump, and he must have done something to recruit you under his wing. Don't make me ask again... tell me everything."

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(Rachel Roth's POV)

Buzzing... vibrating, muffled tones... that's all it was. Everything around me was making me queasy. I needed to re-up. I needed a moment to myself to be able to stomach another ten minutes in this place.

"Gar..." I said, far more than annoyed as he continued his rant about how uncomfortable he felt in this scenery of elegant gowns and plastic smiles. "Gar dammit! Listen to me!"

"Fine.. what?"

"I just..."

"Holy shit Rae..." he said lunging at me, his eyes wide with concern. "You're bleeding."

I immediately felt as though the entire room had eyes on me. It wasn't true but it definitely seemed as though the walls were closing in, a spotlight shinning bright in a hover over me. I lifted a hand beneath my nose, trying to conceal the trail of blood that seeped from my nostril.

"Fuck." I muttered to myself as I elbowed my way through the crowd around us and out of the room. I quickened my pace as the restroom came into view. Entering the bathroom I came face to face with a fellow student from school. She looked to me wide-eyed, but I spared no time for her feelings and shoved her out of the room, ignoring Gar as he stepped around the nervous girl and shut the door behind us.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked as I leaned my face over the sink, drawing the faucet to life.

"Just..." I paused, the warm, bitter taste of my own blood sending an overwhelming chill through my body. "Just get out of here. I need a minute."

"Rae, I ... I need to know whats going on." I wiped at my nose with a tissue, the flow of red finally ceasing. "Are you... are you back on drugs? Is that what this is?"

I laughed, no acknowledgment beyond that. His presence was quickly becoming too much to endure. The last thing I needed was to lose control and snap at him.

"I understand you're upset with everything that's happened but we're all here for you." I ignored him still, I had to, his words of comfort were feeding my impatience at this moment. "I need you to open up to me. I can't be here for you if..."

"I asked you to leave."

"No."

I turned to him now, my teeth grinding against each other to try to hold back my desire to shove him from the room. I could feel my every nerve sparking with anxiety, leaking any amount of control. As my chest began to heave, I narrowed my eyes at him. "Fine... you want me to open up to you?"

I could tell my tone of voice made him nervous. "Uh..."

"Fine..." I said impatiently, my shaking hands removing my small purse from my shoulder and forcing it down upon the bathroom counter. "You really want to know what I've been up to..." I pulled a small bag from within the purse and opened the thin seal, exposing my finger to the white powder. "... you want to know what's on my mind?... what's bothering me...?" I dismissed the fear that invaded his once concerned features and inhaled through my nose the small amount of powder on my finger. "This... this Gar... this is what I'm up to." I repeated the action twice more, before my body gave way to an inhale of a much calmer mood. "This is what I'm doing Gar. I'm back on drugs. Watch out... crazy Rachel Roth is straddling over the edge again."

"Rachel... this isn't you."

I laughed, the humor in his words and the ignorance that consumed him... it was too much. "Funny... very funny Gar. I have to admit... you always did have too much hope for me."

"Rachel we're all going through this together. You don't have to result to drugs to make your problems go away. It's only going to make things worse."

I placed the small bag back into my purse again. "Yea well, maybe that's what I'm hoping for."

He blocked my path as I tried to leave. My eyes widened in warning. "Move."

He shook his head. "Give me the bag."

My brow curved at his audacity to demand anything from me.

"Give me the bag. I can dispose of it and you and I can work this out together."

"Get out of my way. This is a poor excuse of judgement Gar. "

He forced his back quickly against the bathroom door as I stepped toward him again.

"I don't want to hurt you Gar." My teeth were grinding viciously now. I really didn't want to hurt him, but I would if it meant I would be free of this situation. "Move."

He shook his head. "No. I'm trying to help you."

"I don't want your help. I don't... I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help. What I need is for you to get the fuck out of my way." He remained still, his eyes hardening in confidence against my glare. Inhaling deeply, I forced a laugh. "Alright so... what happens now? Are you gonna force me to give you the drugs?"

"If I have to."

My eyes narrowed, not really expecting his response. I shook my head, my mind begging for me to lash out against him violently. "You can't do this Gar. If this is about the pathetic kiss we shared then I'm going to gladly put you in your place. I don't want to be someone you are concerned for, or care about, or..."

"I don't believe that. I think you're just afraid to let someone care about you."

My eye twitched now, my brow quivering in bit back rage. "You're an idiot."

"Maybe... but that doesn't mean I'm going to be the idiot that lets you leave here without giving me your purse." He shrugged. "Hate me all you want but I will get it from you... I'll take it from you if I have to."

I could feel my body erupt in tremors now. It took everything I had not to lunge at him, everything...

"Fine..." I flung the purse from my shoulder and shoved it into his chest. "It's not like it's all that hard to get more."

He moved away from the door and I forced my heated, infuriated self into the hallway again. I reached for my phone and upon realizing it was with Gar in my purse I released a growl into the quiet hallway.

"Watch it!" I shouted as my body collided with another.

"Rachel?"

My anger didn't subside but my need to become physically violent had. "Kori..." I rolled my eyes. "I ... what happened to you?"

She forced a hand over her cut brow, wiping at a small amount of blood that oozed from it. "I need to get out of here. Will you take me home?"

A smile waved through my insides, this was exactly what I needed to do right now. I knew Komi would be able to ease the anger I felt. "Sure."

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