Chapter Thirteen: An Unlikely Team

Linguini hoped aboard a bicycle and peddles into the gloom, carrying Remy, Jason and Max in the jar with him.

The waterfront, normally so beautiful, seems dark and forboding this night. Linguini slows his bicycle and pulls up under a street lamp near a bridge underpass.

He climbs off the bicycle and prepares to drop the jar into the water.

"Oh dear lord were going to drown!" Jason yelled as all their hearts were racing, they press their paws against the glass, staring at Linguini with terrified eyes as Linguini hesitates then pulls back, shouting at Remy, Jason and Max.

"Don't look at me like that! You aren't the only one who's trapped. They expect me to cook it again!" Linguini yelled.

"Huh?" Remy, Jason and Max said.

"I'm not ambitious, I wasn't trying to cook, I was just trying to stay out of trouble. You're the ones who was getting fancy with the spices! What'd you throw in there? Oregano?" Linguini said.

"No?" Remy said shaking his head

"No? What, rosemary?"

"No" Remy said shaking his head again.

"That's a spice, isn't it? Rosemary?"

"Yes it is" Remy said nodding.

"You didn't put rosemary in there?"

"No" Remy said shaking his head again as Linguini slumps down on the bank, sets the Rat jar next to him.

"I need this job. I've lost so many. I don't know how to cook and now I'm talking to rats as if you actually understand what I'm say...did you NOD?" he asked.

"Yes we've been doing it since you started talking to us" Jason said nodding with the others.

"You UNDERSTAND ME?"

"Uh yeah" Max said nodding.

"So I'm not crazy. Wait a second, wait a second. I can't cook. Can I?"

"No, no you cant" Jason said shaking his head.

"That was the worse soup I ever smelt" Max said.

"But you can. Right?"

"Well yeah I guess" Remy said shrugging.

"Don't be so modest, you're a rat for Pete's sake. Whatever you did, they liked it."

"We noticed" Jason said.

"Yeah, this could work. Hey, they liked the soup-WAAA" Linguini said accidently knocking the jar into the water and horrified, Linguini dives in after it.

-One Swim Later-

Linguini sits on a bench, soaking wet, the jar with Remy, Jason and Max successfully retrieved and sitting next to him. "They liked the soup. You think you could...do it again?"

"Yeah sure" Remy nodded.

"I'm gonna let you go. But we're together on this, right?"

"Yeah just open the jar" Remy nodded.

"Okay" Linguini said as he sets the jar down on its side and carefully opens the lid.

Remy looks up at him... and takes off with Jason and Max, escaping into the darkness. Chuckling as he runs, Remy looks back.

"Remy?" Jason asked looking at Linguini who stands forlorn and alone under the bridge as they stop, moved by this pitiful sight.

With a sigh, defeated Linguini turns sadly to his bicycle. Then the sound of clicking of tiny claws on cement. Linguini looks up as very cautiously, Remy Jason and Max is coming toward him, back into the light as Remy looks at Linguini... who smiles.

Later that night Linguini kicks the warped door a few times, opening it enough to enter, and wrestle his bicycle through. He turns on a light, reveling a tiny, odd shaped room; two doors in the wall; one bathroom, the other a closet, both tiny.

One window, a table with two chairs. Hotplate. A miniscule, ancient refrigerator. A ratty couch doubles as a bed, a portable black & white t.v. rests precariously on one arm.

"This is it. It's not much, but it's-" he said looking around "not much. Could be worse; there's heat and light and a couch with a TV. So, y'know- what's mine is yours."

Remy looks over the new digs with Jason and Max.

"It's not bad, it's nice" Jason said.

"Yeah and check out the view" Max said.

"I like it" Remy said,

Late that night fast asleep on the couch, Linguini is bathed in the flickering light from an old and very romantic French movie on TV with two lovers stand handsomely in the swirling steam of a soon to depart locomotive, staring into each other's eyes.

"Are you- is this... a dream?"

"The best kind of dream. One we can share."

Tucked in to an oven mitt near the window sill, Remy gazes dreamily at the lights of Paris whil Jason and Max were already fast asleep.

The romantic movie music swells, underscoring his emotions.

"But why here? Why now?"

"Why not here? Why not now? What better place to dream than in Paris?"

Remy grins, slowly closes his eyes.

The next morning Linguini awakens with a start as he looks up at the oven mitt.

"Morning, little Chefs. Rise and sh-" he said and suddenly realizes Remy, Jason and Max are gone.

"Idiot! I knew this would happen! I let rats into my place and tell them what's mine is theirs?" Linguini yelled as he yanks open the refrigerator door and looks inside, "Eggs GONE! STUPID! They've stolen food and hit the road! What'd I expect? That's what I get for trusting ra-" he said as Linguini moves around the tiny alcove and sees-Remy, quite pleased with himself as he cooks omelets on the hotplate. Two places have been set at the tiny table.

"Wh-? Hey. What- is that for me?"

Remy nods and deftly sets the large omelet onto Linguini's plate.

Linguini sits and puts a forkful into his mouth.

"It's good. What'd you put in this?" he asked as Remy holds up basil leaf, "Where'd you get that?"

"From there" Remy said as he moved to the window and points to the roof garden of a nearby flat as Linguini looks down at the enterprising rat.

"Look. It's delicious. But don't steal. I'll buy some spices, okay?"

"Yeah okay" Remy shrugs and turns to eat.

"This is going to be good!" Jason said as him and Max looked at their omelets as Linguini glances at his clock.

"Oh no. We're gonna be late, and on the first day!" Linguini said as he shoves the rest of the eggs into his mouth and grabs his coat.

Famished, Remy Jason and Max opens wide, ready for their first bite of food, when Linguini snatches him up.

"NO! Let me just have one bite!" Max said.

"Ca'mon, little Chefs!" Linguini said and runs out of the apartment.

Later that day in the alley outside Gusteau's Linguini waits outside, Remy, Jason and Max in his palm, staring uncomfortably at the kitchen entrance, working up the nerve to go inside.

"Well, uhm..." Linguini said aware he can't enter the kitchen carrying rats, Linguini looks halfheartedly for places to conceal Remy; under his shirt, up his sleeves, in his sock- rejecting each in turn. Out of ideas, Linguini slowly opens the top of his pants as Remy looks up at him, appalled.

"You have got to be kidding?!" Jason said.

"Look, I know it's weird and stupid, but neither of us can do this alone. So we gotta do it together, right? You with me?" Linguini said.

"Like we got a choice" Max said as Remy and them gives a reluctant nods.

Linguini glares at the kitchen entrance, psyching himself up "So... LETS DO THIS THING!"

"YEAH!" Jason and Max yelled.

The back door to the kitchen slams open all heads swing to a slightly crazed Linguini standing in the doorway. He wilts a bit with the attention, and attempts to cross inconspicuously to his station, the hidden rats causing a strangely spastic lurch.

The other cooks watch with bewildered amusement as Linguini arrives at his station and looks uneasily at the new Toque resting there, his new toque.

He swallows, placing it on his head, and suddenly notices Skinner standing there.

"Welcome to hell. Now... recreate the soup. Take as long as you need, all week if you must." Skinner said walking away.

Linguini looks at his station with dread, a blocked writer facing a blank page.

A few minutes later raw soup stock bubbles at a low boil on the stove. Linguini stares at the variety carefully prepared of ingredients-herbs, spices, diced vegetables, etc that have been and laid out at his station.

He's completely unsure of where to start as Remy, Jason and Max peeks out from Linguini's collar and examines the scene.

Remy then scrambles underneath Linguini's shirt and across his chest, tickling him as Linguini laughs and Remy's head pops out from Linguini's shirt cuff, sees Linguini reaching for a spice tin.

"No!" Remy said as he signals Linguini to stop, but Linguini pays no attention, so Remy gives Linguini's hand a nip as Linguini yelps dropping the entire spice tin into the soup.

Appalled, Remy gives Linguini an admonishing bite as Linguini YELPS and curses and swats Remy in retaliation.

Remy scurries to the other arm while Linguini giggles and gives Linguini another nip as more yelps and cursing were heard as the other cooks marvel at the strangeness of the spastic, giggling, yelping Linguini.

Visibly panicked, the giggling/yelping Linguini turns, lurching from his station to the food safe, and closing himself inside.

Inside Linguini rips his shirt open, exposing his chest and arms, which are covered in angry red bite marks as Jason, Remy and Max stood on a self.

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" he screamed looking at Remy, Jason and Max accusingly, "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" he screamed gesturing at the bite marks "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!" Remy, Jason and Max stares at the nearly hysterical Linguini

"This is NOT gonna work, little chefs! I am gonna LOSE IT if we do this any more. We gotta figure out something else. Something that doesn't involve any biting or nipping or all you running up and down my body with your little rat feet. The biting; NO. Scampering; NO. No scampering or scurrying. Understand, little chef?" he yelled as he npticed the three staring at something.

"Little chef...?"Remy's gaze has drifted away from Linguini, to the shelves loaded with premium food, Remy Jason and Max looks weak with longing.

"Oh... you're hungry" he said felling guilty as Linguini breaks a chunk from a round of cheese and offers it to Remy, Jason and Max, who scarfs it down. Linguini, calmer now, straightens his clothes as he thinks out loud.

"Okay... the way I see it; you know how to cook. And I know how... to appear... human. We just need to work out a system so that I do what you want in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef...oh WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME? I'M INSANE! I'M INSANE! I'M INSIDE A REFRIGERATOR TALKING TO RATS ABOUTGOURMET COOKING I WILL NEVER PULLTHIS OFF"

Remy and the others are still eating, listens as Linguini pours his heart out.

"We gotta communicate! I can't be checking for a yes or no head shake from a rat th-"

Suddenly the vault door jerks open and three things happen fast Skinner sees a fleeting glimpse of Linguini with Remy, Jason and Max, Linguini hits the light switch and the room goes dark as Skinner instantly flicks the lights back on to see Linguini standing exactly as before but Remy Jason and Max is gone.

"The rats! I saw them!"

"No...rats?" Linguini said.

"Yes, yes- rats! Right next to you-" Skinner said as he stops, suspicious "what ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?"

"I'm just familiarizing myself with-y'know, the vegetables... and such."

"Get out."

Linguini makes a hasty exit as Skinner calls out after him "ONE CAN GET TOO FAMILIAR WITHVEGETABLES YOU KNOW!"

Linguini speaks to Remy and the others, who he's hidden under his Toque "that was close. You okay up there?"

Inside the toque their surroundings are visible through the thin fabric as they look up and sees they are about to collide with-a waiter carrying a tray piled with dishes.

"Watch out!" Jason yelled as Remy yanks back Linguini's hair like horses reins, causing Linguini to jerk backwards in an impossible limbo-arch, pivoting under the tray of dishes and back up again, miraculously averting disaster.

Linguini blinks in amazement as he laughs nervously and he ducks into the bathroom and removes his toque, looks at Remy, Jason and Max in the mirror.

"How did you do that?"

Still grasping hanks of Linguini's hair in his paws, Remy shrugs as Linguini's shoulders shoots up to his ears.

Startled, Remy drops his arms as Linguini's shoulders drop.

"No way!" Jason said.

"Whooaah-!"

A gleam comes into the rats' eyes as he jerks the left hank, causing Linguini's left arm to shoot up on the air.

"Wow. That's strangely involuntaREEE!" he said as Remy is yanking tufts of Linguini's hair like a kid with a new toy.

Linguini jerks around like a helpless puppet as Remy stops, looks at the panting Linguini in the mirror.

"You thinking what I'm think?" Remy asked.

"Oh yeah" Jason said.

A.N. Please Review.