Chapter Fourteen: Learning the Ropes
After spending the entire night cooking and teaching Linguini the ropes then the very next day in the kitchen Linguini stands off to the side, fretting as Skinner pulls a ladle of soup from Linguini's pot and tastes it.
"Congratulations, you were able to repeat your accidental success, but you will need to know more than soup, if you are to survive in my kitchen, boy, Colette-" Skinner said gesturing to Colette, who watches with a scowl "-will be responsible for teaching you how we do things here" he grinned and walks away as Linguini crosses to Colette.
"Listen, I just want you to know how honored I am to be studying under a-" Linguini begins as Colette stabs a knife through Linguini's shirtsleeve, pinning it to the table.
"Is she crazy!?" Jason flinched watching the scene from under Linguini Toque with the others.
"No, YOU listen, I just want you to know exactly who you are dealing with, how many women do you see in this kitchen?" Collette said threatening.
"Well, I hah- um-" Linguini began as she brings a second knife down through Linguini's sleeve.
"Only me, why do you think that is?"
"Well... huh-! I... hoo..."
"Because Haute Cuisine is an antiquated hierarchy built upon rules written by stupid old men, rules designed to make it impossible for women to enter this world, but still I am here, how did this happen?" she said Linguini burbles in a desperate attempt at non chalance.
"Because... you, ah- hah..."
Colette slams a third knife through Linguini's sleeve, thoroughly pinning it as Linguini, Jason, Max and Remy are truly frightened.
"Because I'm the toughest cook in this kitchen! I've worked too hard for too long to get here, and I'm not going to jeopardize it for some garbage boy who got lucky, got it?"
Linguini nods pathetically as Colette pulls the knife handles out with a single jerk and Linguini topples to the floor as Colette walks away as Linguini peeks over the counter, dazzled.
"Wow!" Linguini said.
"She is crazy!" Max said.
Later that day Linguini finishes dicing a red pepper as he sets down his knife, carefully scoops up the small pile of dicing's, walks over to a giant pot and drops it in, returning to repeat the procedure as Colette, who has watched this, interrupts.
"What are you doing?" she said.
"I'm cutting, vegetables, I'm cutting the vegetables?"
"NO! You waste energy and time!" she said as Colette slides a chair up to the end of Linguini's prep table and slams the pot down on its seat so that the top is level with the table's surface, "you think cooking is a cute job, huh? Like mommy in the kitchen?" She said as she snatches Linguini's knife from him with one hand, several vegetables with the other and with frightening speed she dices them, flicking each diced pile into the pot with the knife with dice, flick, dice, flick. "Well mommy never had to face the dinner rush when the orders come flooding in and every dish is different and none are simple and all have different cooking times but must arrive on the customers table at exactly the same time, hot and perfect! Every second counts-" she said and in moments Colette has completed a ten-minute Linguini job "-and you CAN NOT BE MOMMY!"
"She needs to take a break" Jason said as Remy and Max nodded.
The very next day Linguini is cooking as he takes a pan off the burner and set sit to one side, which is already cluttered with utensils as Colette sees the mess and is outraged.
"What is this?!"
Linguini stammers as Colette quickly clears his station, pitching it all into a sink full of dishwater.
"Keep your station clear! When the meal rush comes what will happen? Messy stations slow things down, food doesn't go, orders pile up-disaster! I'll make this easy to remember, keep your station clear... or I WILL KILL YOU!"
"I think she means it" Max said.
"Oh yeah she will kill us" Remy said.
The very next day Colette grabs Linguini by the arm and holds up his sleeves, which are smeared with multi-colored stains.
"Your sleeves look like you threw upon them! Keep your hands and arms in, close to the body like this-" she demonstrates as Linguini, Remy, Jason and Max all follow, "-see? Always return to this position, cooks move fast; sharp utensils, hot metal, keep your arms in, you will minimize cuts and burns and keep your sleeves clean, mark of a chef, messy apron, clean sleeves."
Another day Linguini and Colette shell peas and Colette's manner is easier, more collegial much to the Cooking Rat team relief.
"I know the Gusteau style cold, in every dish Chef Gusteau always has something unexpected, I will show you, I memorized all his recipes" she said as Linguini began to write in a note pad.
"Always do something unexpected."
"No. 'Follow the recipe'." She said.
"But you just said-"
"No, no, no, no, it was his job to be unexpected, it is our job to-"
"follow the recipe" they both said.
"Remy what are you smirking about?" Jason asked.
"Oh nothing" Remy said.
The next day Colette pulls a loaf from a basket of freshly baked bread and shows it to Linguini.
"How do you tell how good bread is without tasting it? Not the smell, not the look, but the sound of the crust. Listen-" She said as she holds the loaf to her ears, as Linguini leans in to listen while in the inside on his Toque Remy, Jason and Max also leans in to listen as Colette gives the bread a squeeze as the crackle is seductive to the Rats ears.
She and Linguini smile at the pleasing crunch.
"A symphony of crackles, only great bread sounds this way."
Another say in the early morning Colette and Linguini have begun their prep. there is a new relaxation between them.
"The only way to get the best produce is to have first pick of the day, and there are only two ways to get first pick, grow it yourself or bribe a grower" she said as she gestures to the back door and outside a produce seller, conversing amicably with La Rousse, sets down a crate of gorgeous fruit and vegetables as La Rousse slips him money.
"So that's how Master always got the best ripped fruit!" Jason said.
"Voila! The best restaurants get first pick."
Linguini and Colette cook side by side, their manner now as easy and familiar as old friends.
"People think Haute Cuisine is snooty, so chefs must also be snooty, but not so" she said pointing to Lalo, who bobs to radio music as he sautés, cooking with a efficient, yet theatrical flourish.
"Lalo there- ran away from home at twelve, got hired by circus people as an acrobat, got fired for messing around with the ring masters daughter" she said she moves to Horst as he glances about with shifty eyes.
"Horst has done time."
"What for?" Linguini whispered.
"No one knows for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him."
~Flash back!~
"I defrauded a major corporation."
"I robbed the second largest bank in France using only a ballpoint pen."
"I created a hole in the ozone over Avignon.
"I killed a man with this thumb!"
~End of Flashback!~
"Ugh!" Jason shivered, "that was a disturbing flash back!"
Collette then moves onto Pompidou as he works dough with expert precision.
"Don't ever play cards with Pompidou. He's been banned from both Las Vegas and Monte Carlo."
"La Rousse ran guns for the resistance."
"Which resistance?" Linguini asked.
"He won't say, apparently they did not win."
"Ouch" Jason said.
"So you see, we are artists. Pirates. More than cooks are we."
" 'We'...?"
"Oui. You are one of us now, oui?"
"Oui. Thank you... by the way, for all the advice about cooking."
"Thank you, too."
"For what?"
"For taking it."
Later that night inside Skinner's Car he listens to the radio and suddenly he sits up and through the windshield Remy scampers across the alley to the kitchen entrance behind Gusteau's with Jason and Max and into the hands of a kneeling Linguini.
"The rats!" he yelled as he jams the brakes, throws the car into reverse as Linguini's brought back into view and seen that Remy and the other rats are gone.
Still kneeling, Linguini holds up a set of keys as he chuckles "I just dropped my keys."
"That was close!" Jason said hiding.
"Oh yeah!" Max said.
Later during the night rush Mustafa crashes through the swinging doors in a panic.
"Someone has asked what isnew!"
"New?" Horst said.
"Yes! What do I tell them?"
"What did you tell them?"
"I told them I would ask!"
"What are you blathering about?" Skinner said.
"Customers are asking what is new."
"What should I tell them?"
"What DID you tell them?" Skinner said.
"I TOLD THEM I WOULD ASK!"
"Wow and I thought being a cook was easy" Jason said watching from under Linguini Toque.
"This is simple, just pull out an old Gusteau recipe, something we haven't made in a while and-"
"They know about the old stuff. They like Linguini's soup."
"Linguini? They are asking for food from- LINGUINI?!"
"A lot of customers like the soup, that's all we were saying." Lalo said.
"Were we saying that?" Pompidou said.
An idea comes to Skinner, dark pleasure blooms on his face.
"Very well, if it's Linguini they want" he said as he pulls Horst close and speaks to him quietly "tell them "Chef" Linguini has prepared something special for them, something definitely "off- menu". Oh, and don't forget to stress its Linguini-ness".
"Oui, Chef" Horst said as Skinner turns to Linguini, a big shark-smile on his face.
"Now is your chance to try something worthy of your talent, Linguini. A forgotten favorite of the Chef's: Sweetbread a la Gusteau! Colette will help you!"
"Oui, Chef" Collette said.
"Now hurry up, our diners are hungry!" Skinner said as he goes towards his office, a worried La Rousse rushes up to him, speaking in a low, concerned voice.
"Are you sure? That recipe was a disaster, Gusteau himself said so" La Rousse said.
"Just the sort of challenge a budding chef needs" Skinner said as he disappears inside his office, humming to himself.
Meanwhile Linguini looking over Colette's shoulder as she stares at an old, yellowing recipe card, sizing up it's ingredients.
"Sweetbread a la Gusteau. Sweetbread cooked in a salt crust with cuttlefish tentacles. Drizzled with...snail porridge...Douglas fir puree... beetroot mousse and pollen...dried white fungus?... and dipped in anchovy liquorice sauce...Huh." she said.
"The sounds so digusting" Jason said as Max nodded and Colette shrugs it off and turns to Linguini.
"I don't know this recipe but it is Gusteau, so-Lalo! We have some veal stomach soaking, yes?"
"Yes, the veal stomach, I get that."
"Uh- veal... stomach?" Linguini said.
Later Remy pilots Linguini's hand to lift the small pot of snail porridge off the burner and up to Linguini's toque for an obligatory sniff.
Remy looks at the porridge, then at the rack of fresh spices, suddenly Remy pilots Linguini to go for the SPICES, lifting them rapidly one by one up the toque to sniff.
Remy selects one that smells right and dumps it in the pot.
"Remy what about the recipe?" Jason asked.
"Trust me" Remy said as he makes Linguini suddenly lean forward, tilting his toque over the fragrant steam from the simmering pot.
Remy, Jason and Max takes a whiff likes what they smells then inspired, Remy pilots Linguini out into the kitchen.
Linguini is alarmed by his sudden ramble, completely unsure of where he's going, what he's looking for while under the toque Remy maneuvers Linguini spasmodically past the other cooks stations, wildly sniffing around for the next ingredient, a composer hunting for the next note in a new symphony.
He catches a pleasing scent in Lalo's station and make Linguini snatches some Shallots from Lalo, who looks up in shock, but Linguini is already gone, racing back to his station to add the new ingredients to a heating pan.
Linguini jerks forward, tilting his toque over the pan, then peels out of his station, once again on the move as Linguini zips about snatching ingredients from the other cooks stations, a Porche apologizing for its driver.
"Pardon me, just need to borrow this real quick- sorry- apparently I need this- I'll be right back-" To the others, Linguini looks deranged, a man who's clearly lost control of both his body and his faculties.
Linguini careens back into his station and dumps the ingredients into his pan, startling Colette.
"What are you doing? We are supposed to be preparing the Gusteau recipe" Colette said as Linguini stirring, flipping pan.
"I'm, uh... this is the recipe."
"The recipe doesn't call for white truffle oil! What else have you-" she said as she looks in his pan "-you are improvising?! This is no time to experiment, the customersare waiting!"
"You're right-" Linguin said to Remy, Jason and Max nudging the toque "-I should listen to you!"
Linguini suddenly slaps his own face, then leans his toque over the Sweetbread.
"Stop that-!" Colette said.
"Stop what?"
"Freaking me out! Whatever you're doing- stop it."
"Where is the special order?" Horst said as both Colette and Linguini are working quickly now, but on separate dishes, giving the appearance of a competition.
"Coming!" Colette said as she glared at Linguini "I thought we were together on this!"
"We are together."
"Then what are you doing?
"It's- VERY hard to explain."
"The special?!" Horst said.
"Come get it!"
Under the toque Remy, Jason and Max watches anxiously as Colette sets the plate at the pass to be picked up, a hank of hair in each paw, waiting for an opening as Colette glances at the recipe.
"Oh- I forgot to add the liquorice!" she said as she rushes back to get it.
Remy sees his chance and Linguini finds himself grabbing his pan and hurtling toward Colette and just as she is about to add the liquorice sauce Linguinis woops in and blocks her hand as Colette is gasps as her eyes flash at Linguini, who looks petrified, his left hand holds his pan of saute, which trembles over the Sweetbread.
"Don't... you... dare!"
"I'm not, I'm not, I'm-" Linguini say as Remy makes him dumps his saute over Colette's dish the moment before it is swept away by the waiter Mustafa, "-sorry."
"Hm" Remy smirked crossing his arms.
"You do realize if this backfires not only will you cost Linguini his job but ruin your chance of ever cooking again" Jason said.
"I know" Remy said as Skinner enters, smiling as he walks up to Horst.
"Is Linguini's dish done yet?" Skinner asked.
"Ya. It's as bad as we remember, Just went out" Horst said.
"Did you taste it?"
"Of course... before he changed it" Horst said.
"Good- WHAT? How could he change it?"
"He changed it as it was going out the door!"
Skinner starts toward the door to the dining room, just as Mustafa busts through it, excited hitting him in the face.
"They love it! Other diners are already asking about it, about Linguini, I have seven more orders!"
Colette is nonplussed while Skinner flinches, then forces a smile "that's... wonderful."
Inside Linguini toque Remy slaps his paws together, relishing the night ahead.
For the rest of the night a more special orders come in Remy pilots Linguini, preparing plate after plate of their hit and when the dinner rush is over.
The cooks congratulate their new comrade Linguini, toasting him glasses of table wine.
Skinner watches from across the kitchen, staring at the boy with a mixture of confusion, envy and resentment as Linguini pass in front of a light Skinner sees a strange set of shadows within Linguini's toque the silhouette of rats as Skinner's eyes going wide.
After sneaking outback and after a quick look around to make sure no one's watching, Linguini removes his toque and lets Remy, Jason and Max out.
"Take a break little Chefs, get some air. We really did it tonight" Linguini said as he unfolds a napkin, revealing a miniature picnic of fruit, bread, cheeses.
Remy- pooped but exhilarated—beams at Linguini, who raises his glass in a salute to the rats as Linguini smiles and turns back inside.
"This is nice" Jason said eating a bit of cheese.
"Oh yeah it is" Max said eating a grape.
"This is it my friends this is a good life" Remy said as he munches contentedly and stares at the starry sky, loving his bread, his cheese, his life.
He breaks the top off a grape and- holding the stem like a wine glass- slowly sip sit into a raisin.
Something than stirs behind the trash cans as Remy, Jason and Max frezzes, suddenly alert.
Some kind of creature is eating in the shadows as Remy grabs the cheese knife and timidly goes to investigate while Jason summoned his two key blades and Max is Dream Sword.
The creature looks up, its glowing eyes fix on Remy as Remy gulps, raises the knife, the creature than leaps into the light revealing a large brown rat.
"REMY!" he yelled with his mouth full.
"Emile-?!" Remy said as they rush to each other, hugging and laughing. "What are you doing here?! I thought I'd never see you guys again!"
"I can't believe it! You're alive! You made it! We figured you didn't survive the rapids!"
"And what are you eating?" Remy asked as they stare at the item in Emile hands.
Emile stares at Remy, chewing as he looks down, pondering the unrecognizable wad in his hands for a long beat as he frowns.
"I don't really know, I think it was some sort of wrapper once" Emile said.
"Ew" Jason said.
"What-? No" Remy said as he grabs the wad and throws it away with a flouris, "You're in Paris now, baby. My town, no brother of mine eats rejecta- menta in my town!" he said.
"Ahem!" Max said.
"Oh sorry! Emile these are my friend Jason and Max, guys this is my brother" Remy said.
"It's nice to meet you...uh we'll be right back" Jason said as he turns on his heel and marches back into the kitchen after Remy.
Remy climbs to the pull handle on the food safe door and hesitates there is laughter emanates from inside of Skinner's office as Remy leaps to the handle and with considerable effort pushes it open, unlocking the massive door as Gusteau Spirit then appears.
"Remy... you are stealing? You told Linguini he could trust you!" Gusteau said.
"And he can, it's for my brother" Remy said.
"The boy could lose his job" Gusteau said.
"Which means I would, too, it's under control, okay?" Remy said as he shoves past the Gusteau sprite and into the safe.
"What exactly are we going to get for your brother?" Jason asked as they heard a shuffling by some boxes.
"Emile! I thought you were going to wait outside" Remy said approaching the boxes.
(A.N. Now here is where you go onto youtube and search Kingdom Hearts - Birth by Sleep OST: Unforgettable (Extended) for this battle.)
Then the boxes exploded as a large Unversed with massive claws standing on two feet and hand a spike tail stood in front of Remy.
"AHHH!" Remy yelled.
"Remy run! We'll handle this!" Jason said as he and Max summoned their weapons and Remy was about to hide but looked back then ran to stand by Jason side.
"Remy I told you to hide" Jason said.
"I'm not letting you guys take this guy on alone! Come on!" Remy said as Jason and Max nodded and they all glared at the large Unversed.
(A.N. Guard Dog is this Unversed name.)
"Come on!" Jason yelled charging at the Unversed as he began to attack, "ha! Hu! Ya! Take this!"
The Unversed then roared as it spun around whacking the three with it's tail.
"Gah!" they all grunted flying back.
"Jason!" Remy yelled.
"Let's go!" Jason yelled as they both jumped and grabbed each others legs and began spinning with Jason Keyblades held by their tales as they spun at the Unversed.
"Ya! Ha! Ha! Yah! Ya!" they yelled as they broke apart and Jason grabbed both his key blades and they stood away from each other.
"Now!" Remy yelled as they scurried fast at the Unversed dodging it swings as they both got onto it's tail and ran for it's head.
"Order up!" Jason yelled.
"A serving a Rat Attack!" Remy yelled as Jason launched him and Remy spun and smacked his tail hard across the Unversed as it collapsed unconscious.
"Hu! Ya! Ha! Like it!" Jason yelled making the final blow as the Unversed roared then collapsed as it dissolved.
"Oh yeah! Who the rats! We are! Give me paw!" Remy said as they all high-pawed.
"Come on let's hurry more of those things will start showing up" Jason said.
"Right!" Remy said as they ran to collect the food.
A.N. Please Review.