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Special thanks to samcarter1980, Jotchprossi18 and Criminalmindschick221!

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Chapter 5: Breaking apart

September 24th 2006

Hotch stepped from the SUV. His clothes were covered in dirt. His head was aching and he knew there wouldn't be any pill that could help him lose the pain he felt. They had searched the woods for twelve hours without taking a break. JJ was gone. The only things left were her gun, credentials and vest. And of course a pool of blood that belonged to JJ. The ME informed Hotch that she could've survived the amount of blood loss, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't believe this was actually happening to him and his team. They were always careful. They were trained for these kind of situations. But somehow even the training wasn't enough. Emily and JJ split up, which was the worst mistake that could've been made. He could still hear Emily's voice over the radio in his head. It was burned into his mind. He wasn't going to forget this. How could he? He loved JJ. He just never told her that. And now it could be too late. She could be dead. But he reminded himself to have hope. He was going to find her, no matter what the cost would be.

He walked into the small station immediately noticing JJ's parents sitting in the captain's office. Hotch called them himself, telling them they needed to fly to Portland as quickly as possible. He just forgot to mention the part that JJ was missing and that they had no idea what happened to her. He gathered all the courage he could find within him. He softly opened the door to the office. The Jareau's immediately jumped from their seats.

''Hello,'' Hotch greeted. ''I'm Agent Hotchner. I'm your daughter's boss.''

''We know. JJ talks about you a lot.'' Sandy Jareau said. ''I'm Sandy. This is my husband Bill.''

''What's going on?'' Bill asked, getting right to the point.

Hotch sighed deeply because he knew what this news could do to her parents. ''About twelve hours ago JJ went missing.'' Hotch started to explain, but he was cut off.

''How did it happen?'' Bill asked, fearing the worst for his daughter instantly.

''We identified an unsub yesterday and we went to his home to arrest him. The team split up and that's when we lost track of JJ.'' he began. ''Agent Prentiss found her gun, credentials and vest in a pool of blood that belongs to JJ.''

Sandy flew into the arms of her husband. ''No! No!'' she cried out. ''This can't be happening again. Not JJ.''

Hotch wished that he could tell them how much he loved JJ and that they would do anything to bring her home, but professionalism was more important. ''What do you mean with again?''

Bill held his wife tightly as she sobbed into his shirt. ''Our oldest daughter, Rachel, disappeared when she was seventeen. JJ was eleven at the time.'' he started. ''The police found her in the woods a week later. She committed suicide.''

Hotch choked up. JJ never told him. Not once. ''I'm so sorry.'' he apologized with a heavy heart. He couldn't even imagine something happening to Jack. ''JJ never told me. If I'm honest, she barely talked about her past.''

''JJ has always been a private person when it's about Rachel. She doesn't like to talk about it. She changed a lot after her sister's death.'' Sandy said. ''It was like she was another person in one second. But after she went to college we saw that she was returning to her old self again. The joy was back in her eyes.''

''But what are you doing to find our daughter?''

''We have been searching the woods for the last twelve hours. Cops and agents are still searching as we speak. I also sent JJ's picture to every police station in the state. There's also and APB out. And I'm holding a press conference in two hours.'' he explained, knowing nothing would ever be enough for them until they knew that JJ was safe. ''I promise that I'll do anything to get JJ back safely. I won't ever give up on her.''

''Thank you.'' Sandy murmured.

''She got you hooked, didn't she?'' Bill asked, noticing how dedicated Hotch was.

Hotch wasn't going to avoid that question. He wanted to be honest. ''Your daughter is amazing, sir.'' Hotch began while trying to keep his emotions in check. ''She does her job with so much grace. I've never seen anyone with so much talent and she's only twenty-four. She has been with us for little over a year and she has exceeded all my expectations.'' he said proudly.

''She has always been an extraordinary girl.''

Hotch's phone suddenly started ringing. He rose from his chair while picking up the phone. ''Hotchner.'' he answered.

''Hotch it's me.'' Derek said painfully. ''You need to come down here right now. We found something.''

''What is it, Morgan?''

''You got to see it for yourself.''

''I'll be there as soon as possible.'' he promised before hanging up the phone. He turned towards Sandy and Bill. ''There's a possible lead. I have to go.''

''Of course.'' Bill said while Sandy Jareau nodded with an expression filled with horror.

Hotch was racing through traffic. He hated not knowing what Derek had found. He never liked surprises and right now it was the worst time for surprises. He parked the SUV at the side of the road, which was filled with other cars, belonging to law enforcement. Almost every officer in the State was on scene. Not only because an FBI agent was missing, but also because Doug Williamson hadn't been arrested yet. He had killed fifteen women and the team suspected he was the one who took JJ. There couldn't be any other scenario's.

Hotch walked past the tape, showing his credentials. He saw multiple officers gathered around in a circle. On the ground he noticed something white. He had no idea what was going on, but his heart was racing a mile a minute. He stopped next to Morgan. His eyes took in what was on the ground. He recognized JJ's white t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans. The white t-shirt was covered in blood. A few feet away from her clothes, were tire tracks from the car that was used to get away.

''Hotch, we also found a tape. It was folded into her clothes.'' Derek announced.

Hotch looked up at Derek. ''I want this evidence bagged and sent to Quantico for analysis.'' he ordered. ''Have you seen the tape?''

''No, I wanted to wait until you got here.'' Derek answered. ''It's probably a way to taunt us. But do you actually believe Doug Williams is behind this?''

''I don't know.'' Hotch said, walking back to the car. ''Let's go to the station and watch this.''

''Sure,'' Derek agreed. ''Oh, I sent Emily back to the hotel. She was barely holding on.''

Hotch knew no one was holding on any longer. It had only been hours and it had been hell. He had no idea how much more was going to happen.

Back at the station Hotch and Derek rushed into an empty office to watch the tape. They decided to watch it together before, showing it to the team. They had no idea what was on it and the images could be bad. Derek impatiently pushed the play button on the remote. The first few seconds the screen was black, but they could hear a whisper in the background.

Hotch knew the whispers belonged to JJ. He just couldn't hear what she was saying. ''I can't even hear it.'' he said to Derek who turned up the volume.

And then the screen showed JJ, tied up in the back of a van. She was only wearing her bra and panties. Blood was seeping from a gaping wound on her side. Her face was pale and it looked like the life was drained from her body.

''Oh my god.'' Hotch mumbled, clenching his fists.

The video ended after thirty seconds of footage. ''Get this to Garcia!'' Hotch ordered. ''I want her to isolate the audio.''

''Hotch, do you think she should see this?'' Derek asked with confusion.

''She is the best, Morgan. So I guess you know the answer.'' he replied before leaving the office. He was barely holding it together. He stepped inside the men's room. He locked the door behind him and started slamming his fist into the door. He couldn't believe that this was happening to JJ. It felt like he was already at his breaking point.