Chapter Fifteen: What we are
Later that night Remy carries a small bundle of gourmet food stuffs from the kitchen, only to find Emile again munching on garbage.
"I brought you something to- AGGHHHH!No no NO! Spit that out right now!" Remy yelled as Emile does, shamed "I have GOT to teach you about food! Close your eyes."
As Emile closes his eyes, his surroundings fade to black as Remy delicately holds a hunk of cheese under Emile's nose.
"Now... take a bite of thi-" Remy began as Emile inhale it.
Horrified, Remy scolds him like a bad pet.
"NO NO NO! Don't just hork it down!"
"Too late" Emile said as Remy, Jason and Max are all annoyed as Remy hands him another piece of cheese. Emile eats it, this time more carefully.
"Chew it slowly... think only about the taste, see?" Remy said as a vague, grayish blob half-forms above his head.
It turns to undefined music as Emile struggles to experience the food.
"Not really" Emlie said.
"Creamy, salty sweet, an oaky nuttiness? You detect that?" Remy asked as Emile opens his eyes his surroundings reappear, as he looks at Remy.
"Oh, I'm detecting nuttiness."
"Close your eyes, now taste this" Remy said giving him a strawberry, "whole different thing, right? Sweet, crisp, slight tang on the finish?"
The blob reappears, but this time with a hint of color.
"Okay."
"Now try them together uh-huh, see?" Remy said.
Emile eats both together and chews, concentrating slowly the weak colors become bolder and more complimentary. They begin to dance and intermingle as a little melody takes shape.
"Okay... I think I'm getting a little something there, it might be the nuttiness, could be the tang" Emile said.
"That's it! Now imagine every great taste in the world being combined into infinite combinations, tastes that no one has tried yet! Discoveries to be made!" Remy said.
"I think- you lost me again" Emile said as Jason and Max face palmed themselves as Emile opens his eyes, the shapes and sound fade away.
Sensing Remy's disappointment, Emile reassures him.
"But that was interesting, Most interesting garbage I ever- HEY! What are we doing? Dad doesn't know you're alive, we've gotta go to the colony! Everyone will be thrilled!" Emile said.
"Yeah... but, uh... thing is, I kinda have to... uh..." Remy said gesturing vaguely at the kitchen as Emile frowns.
"What? What do you "hafta" more than family? What's more important?" He glares furiously at Remy, whose resolve starts to crumble.
"Well, it wouldn't hurt to visit..." Remy said.
"Oh goodie a family reunion" Jason said.
Later that night after follow Emile to the sewers several channels converge into a wide, open area as dreary and uninviting as any sewer, save for a flotilla of tiny boats illuminated by a scattering of multi-colored lanterns that answer the gloom with magic.
Holding their clasped paws up victoriously, Django turns from Remy to face the assembled crowd of rats.
"MY SON... HAS RETURNED!" Django said as an enormous cheer erupts as Emile joins Django, Remy, Jason and Max as the clan crowds around them.
Remy's joy is clouded with doubt; what about his new life?
Later a party is in full swing, the entire rat clan has come out to bop to boisterous music played by a jazzy rat band, kicking down the jams in a unique gypsy/jitterbug dance style that takes full advantage of their tails and all four legs.
Joined by his sons, Django sits at a prime table with Remy new friends.
A waiter rat quickly serves a round of drinks in well-worn thimbles between them.
Emile and Django suck theirs down as Remy takes a discreet whiff and sets it aside as Jason and Max slowly push theirs away.
"And finding someone to replace you for poison checker has been a disaster, nothing's been poisoned, thank God, but it hasn't been easy, you didn't make it easy" Django said.
"I know, I am sorry, Dad" Remy said.
"Well, the important thing is that you're home" Django said.
"Yeah... well, uh, about that..." Remy said.
"You look thin, why is that? A shortage of food or a surplus of snobbery?" Django said as Emile joins in as Django cracks up at his own joke, "it's tough out there in the big world all alone, isn't it?"
"Sure... but, it's not like I'm a kid anymore" Remy said.
A well-wisher drops by to say hello to Django as Remy takes advantage of the distraction to quickly deliver the bad news.
"I can take care of myself, I've found a nice spot not far away, so I'll be able to visit often" Remy said as Django resume the conversation.
"Nothing like a cold splash of reality to make you-" Django began and sudden realization hit's him "—'visit'?"
"I will, I promise, often" Remy said.
"You're not staying?" Django said.
"It's not a big deal, Dad" Remy said gently "you didn't think I was going to stay forever, did you? Eventually a bird's gotta leave the nest."
"We're not birds, we're rats, we don't leave nests, we make them bigger" Django said.
"Maybe I'm different kind of rat" Remy said.
"Maybe you're not a rat at all" Django said.
"Maybe that's a good thing."
Trying to break tension Emile speaks "Hey, the band's really on tonight!"
"Rats! All we do is take, Dad. I'm tired of taking, I want to make things! I want to add something to this world" Remy said.
"You're talking like a human."
"Who are not as bad as you say."
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh man..." Emile said.
"What makes you so sure?" Django said as Remy hesitates for a beat, suddenly careful.
"I've uh, been able to, uh, observe them at a close-ish sort of range" Remy said.
"Yeah? How close?"
"Close enough, and they're, y'know, not so bad as you say they are" Remy said as Django glares at Remy, scrutinizing him.
"Come with me... I got something I want you to see" Django said as he moves from the table, dropping to all fours and heading off. Reluctantly, Remy does likewise, leaving Emile alone when Jason and Max follow.
"You know... I think I'll stay here" Emile said.
Later that night in the Paris streets it's raining harder now as Django, Remy, Jason and Max arrive at a drain opening, through which can be glimpsed the rough cobblestones of a city street.
"We're here" Django said as he scrambles out the curb-side drain and turns to face the storefront behind them as Remy, Jason and Max sits next to him and looks up, following his father's gaze as their jaws drops in horror.
Displayed in the window of the small shop are a variety of nasty looking metal traps, rat traps to be precise, and alongside of those hang row after row of dead rats.
"Take a good, long look, Remy, this is what happens when a rat gets a little too comfortable around humans" Django said as Remy looks away and Django's tone is tender, but firm.
"The world we live in belongs to the enemy, we must live carefully, we look out for our own kind, Remy, when all is said and done, we're all we've got" Django said with his point made as he turns to go.
Remy stares up at the horrible window, then softly speaks.
"No" Remy said as Django stops in his tracks.
"What..?"
"No, Dad I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is—can ONLY be-" he said as he points at window "-more of this?"
"This... is the way things are, you can't change nature." Django said.
"Change IS nature, Dad. The part that we can influence and it starts when we decide" Remy said and with that, Remy turns and- walking upright on two legs-starts back to Gusteau's wit Max and Jason as Django calls after him.
"Where you goin'?"
"With luck... forward."
"Sorry Remy" Jason said.
"Yeah man he'll understand someday" Max said.
The next morning after the storm has passed and the sky is cloudless and clear.
A weary Remy Jason and Max exits the sewer, the fresh air hits their nostrils and Remy draws it in like a sweet memory as he exhales, renewed and happy to be back in his brave new world.
Forgetting himself, he trots for the kitchen entrance on two legs, throwing a reckless wave at a passing cyclist as Jason and Max just stare and look behind them as the cyclist double-takes, craning his neck to look at the bizarre sight and collides with a parked car.
"Oh!" Jason and Max winched as they headed for Gusteau's Restaurant as Remy and them enters and looks around.
No one has arrived yet and they step on to the counter top and surveys the kitchen, savoring the day ahead and then they hears the sound, snoring. As they take cover and peer out.
No one is there, but the snoring persists as they peer cautiously over the edge as they walks forward, revealing Linguini curled up on the floor and slumbering like avagrant.
"He must have been here all night cleaning, poor guy" Jason said as Remy looks at the clock, realizing with horror that the others are about to arrive.
"We need to wake him up!" Remy said a they jump onto Linguini's head like a rough rider on a fallen horse and Remy expertly begins tugging hanks of Linguini's hair, manages to get the boy up on his feet but Linguini remains FAST asleep.
Remy lifts one of Linguini's heavy eyelids and waves frantically at a staring eye- but Linguini is outcold.
"I can wake him!" Jason said about to bite on Linguini head as the sound of a motorcycle arriving at the rear entrance causes Remy to looks around in desperation as he spies a pair of sunglasses near the cook's lockers.
Colette enters, unpleasantly surprised to find Linguini already at work as she crosses to their station and starts prep as Remy, Jason and Max have hidden Linguini's shut eyes behind sunglasses, unintentionally giving him the air of a smug rock star.
Though Linguini remains fast asleep, Remy pulls his hair to keep the boy's limbs working somewhat convincingly.
Colette cool, formal gives him a greeting "Good morning" she said as Remy pulls Linguini hair, nervously puppeting the sleeping Linguini.
How can he make Linguini answer? He thought as he pulls a side hair hank causing Linguini's head to loll to Colette, give her a lazy nod, then turn back to his work.
"So, the Chef he invited you in for a drink? That's big... that's big. What did he say?"
Under Linguini's Toque Remy hesitates, there's no hair he can pull for speech! Desperate, he pulls the head-turn hair again.
Linguini's head lolls lazily back to Colette, the effect being a smug 'What do you think he said, babe?'
"What- you can't tell me?" Colette said as Linguini is silent and he resumes cutting and Colette goes cold "oh. Forgive me for intruding on your deep, personal relationship with the Chef. I see how it is, you get me to teach you a few kitchen tricks to dazzle the boss, and then you blow past me?"
"Things are going bad fast as Remy keeps Linguini chopping, hoping desperately for an idea to salvage the situation.
"Ca'mon. Wake up... wake up-!" Remy said as Jason and Max are attempting to wake him up by jumping on his head.
"Come on!" Jason said.
Linguini keeps chopping vegetables like a hip zombie his smirking face rolls in Colette's direction and she feels hurt.
"I thought you were different, I thought you thought I was different, I thought-" Now, seemingly looking straight at her, Linguini snores as Colette gasps and delivers a roundhouse slap to Linguini's face.
Linguini corkscrew and crashed to the floor as Linguini- now completely awake and utterly confused at the crucial chunk of his life he's somehow missed- looks up at the furious Colette with wide eyes.
"I didn't have to help you! If I looked out only for myself, I could have let you drown, but—I wanted you to succeed, I liked you. My mistake" Colette said as she turns, storming out the kitchen's back door.
Linguini, Remy, Jason and Max- who peers out of Linguini's fallen toque, watch her go as Linguini turns to the rats.
"It's over, Little Chefs I can't do it any more" he said as he grabs the toque with Remy and the others inside and runs after Colette.
Colette is already on her motorcycle as Linguini runs to her.
"Stop-! Don't motorcycle away-" She atops, looks at him "Look. I'm no good with words, I'm no good with food, either. At least not without your help."
"I hate false modesty, it's just another way to lie, you have talenti"
"But I don't! Really! It's not me!"
Under the toque Remy eyes widen with Jason and Max.
"He wouldn't" Max said.
"And when I added those extra ingredients instead of following the recipe like you said- that wasn't me either!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I wouldn't have done that, I would've followed the recipe, I would've followed your advice. I would've followed your advice to the ends of the earth because I love- your advice" Linguini said.
"But... ?"
"But... I have a secret."
Remy's really getting worried now as all they can do it watch.
"Don't do it..." Remy said softly.
Colette's eyes narrow, she's not liking the sound of this.
"It's sort of disturbing" Linguini chuckles sheepishly, then straightens as if to make an announcement, taking a deep breath, "I have a rr... aah-uht..."
"What...?"
"I have a rahh... tsh."
"You have a rash?"
"NO! No... I have these tiny... little, uh... little... a—couple of tiny chefs who tells me what to do."
"A tiny chefs?"
"Yes... yes, he's... uh, uhhhmmn..." Linguini said as he points to toque "...he's up here."
"In your brain?"
"Why is it so hard to talk to you?" Linguini said gathering courage "Okay. Here we go. You- inspire me, I'm going to risk it all, I'm going to risk looking like the biggest idiot psycho you've ever seen!" Linguini said as Colette is starting to get scared as he hand drops discreetly into her bag and emerges clutching a tiny canister of pepper spray.
"You wanna know why I'm such a fast learner? Why I'm such a great cook? Don't laugh! I'm going to show you-" Colette looks worried, with great resolve and trembling hands, Linguini slowly reaches up to remove his toque and inside through the cloth Remy and the others watches Linguini hands close in about to expose them and ruin it all.
"No!" Remy said as he yanks on Linguini's hair, thrusting Linguini forward toward Colette's face as Linguini plants a big kiss on Colette's lips.
Colette is frozen, pepper spray in hand, her shock and surprise surpassed only by Linguini's own.
With furrowed brows and gritted teeth, Remy maintains Linguini's forward thrust kiss this could go either way as they continue their startled kiss, their eyes flash through a myriad of emotions, surprise, fear, anger, vulnerability, happiness, and finally—surrender as Colette and Linguini wrap their arms around each other.
"Thank god!" Jason said as Remy and them collapses with relief, for the moment anyway, the fragile charade survives.
A.N. Please Review.