Author's note: This story is consistently more angsty than my other stuff, I feel. But good angst. And something that one of my anonymous reviewers was kind of hoping for happens in this chapter. So please let me know what you think about the events that transpire here.
Happy reading!
Chapter Four
Jill and Adrian enjoyed their honeymoon. It was a lot of the same for the rest of their time. Jill shopped; sometimes with Adrian in tow to tell her how best to spend his money, sometimes with just Eddie. Adrian drew a lot and painted a bit too. When they moved to a more quiet country setting, he did even more; staying out from the time he woke up until he was exhausted and there was no more light at all to see by.
The months were over all too soon. Adrian picked one of his favorite nighttime scenes that he'd painted and had it crated and wrapped up with the best of care. He sent it on to Rome with a letter to follow. He signed it, "Your secret admirer."
Then they boarded the ship that would take them home. Jill was just as enchanted by the sea the second time as the first. She stood for an hour on the deck, manipulating the spray just enough to stretch her magic, but not enough to call attention to herself.
Adrian sat on a chair and drew her with new set of charcoals Jill had insisted he purchase. Eddie watched over his shoulder, smiling at the perfect depiction of the woman he loved.
Jill finally turned. "I guess you boys are ready to go get some dinner or something."
"I'm fine." Adrian said without looking up. "But I'm sure your boyfriend could use a bite to eat." He gently blew extra dust from the drawing. "I'll have to set this." He held it up. "Look at my beautiful wife."
She smiled and took the picture from his hands. She examined it. "It's odd when I look through your eyes and see the way you see me. But this is different. You drew me the way you want everyone else to see the way you see me." She shook her head and gave it back. "You don't love me like that."
"Eddie does." He said softly. "I see it in his aura. I drew what he sees." Adrian stood. "Food sounds good."
They sat in a private dining room, all the guardians eating with them and casting fleeting glances at the exits and waiters as they passed through.
"Most of the humans will go to bed soon." Guardian Shane pointed out.
"So you and Tanner should too." Eddie told her. "I'll keep an eye on Jill and Petrov can look out for Adrian until they follow. You can relieve us in a few hours."
"Yes, sir, Guardian Castile." They said in unison.
Adrian smirked. "Good to be the boss, huh?"
Eddie said nothing, but Adrian could see the look of pride on his face.
Tanner and Shane stood and made their way out.
Adrian caught Jill's eye. "We need to have a talk."
"I don't want to have that talk." She stood. "Eddie, will you escort me to the deck. I just can't get enough of the sea."
"A little privacy." Adrian said to the guardians.
Eddie hesitated, but left with Petrov to stand just outside the dining room.
"They're going to expect it soon." He said, taking a long pull from his drink.
She sat back down and pushed the last of her dessert around on her plate. "I know."
"So is it time?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
"So when are we going to try? It's up to you."
She took a deep breath. "We can start now, I suppose."
He smirked. "I'm all for public, drunken sex, but that's not really your style. Nor is it the proper way to conceive a royal child."
Jill relaxed a fraction. "I didn't mean right now."
Adrian moved closer and draped an arm over the back of her chair. "Do you want to be wooed? Because I'm good at that."
"You're also extremely cocksure." She stood.
He followed and pinned her against the wall. His hand rested beside her head. He took her hand in his other and pressed his mouth to the palm. "I may not love you the way you want, but I love you enough. If you want it, I'll give it to you. If you don't, I won't. It's all up to you."
She grabbed his coat in her fist. Her eyes glistened. "I don't know, Adrian. I don't."
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her cheek. It was a far more brotherly gesture than the kiss on the palm. "We don't have to yet, but we have to sometime soon. They expect a baby. And it doesn't always happen the first time."
"I know." She looked up at him. "Tonight."
He cupped her cheek. "Are you sure?"
She nodded. "Just give me a bit more time on the deck with the sea. And I need to talk to Eddie about this. We have to abstain." She swallowed.
He kissed her forehead. "Take all the time you need. I'll be in our suite." He walked away.
Jill followed and met Eddie's eyes outside. He followed her as she made her way up top once more. She stood and stared at the sea, the water lapping close when she called it. She rested against the railing after a while.
"My love." Eddie said softly as he moved to stand close to her. He covered her hand with his. "Tell me."
"Adrian and I are going to try to create a life together." She murmured.
"Oh." He stared out at the waning moon as it hung over the sea. "So we come to the time when we can't."
"We can do the other things." She said reluctantly.
"It's not the same."
"I know." She turned her hand over and gently squeezed his fingers. "Go somewhere else. I don't want you that close during."
"Princess Jillian—"
"Don't call me that!" She snapped. "Don't be formal to try to distance yourself from me. Just go somewhere else—anywhere—once you know I'm safely in my rooms."
He nodded, still unable to look at her.
"Well, let's not be so dark." She reached out her hand and pulled up a handful of water. She threw it at his face. "Lighten up, love. We may have a baby to spoil soon."
He smiled as he wiped his face with his hand. "I hope the baby looks like you."
"I do too. But Adrian is equally as attractive as me, so a baby that looks like him wouldn't be so horrible." She splashed him with water again.
He laughed. "Stop."
"Make me." She did it again.
He grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her sides and stood behind her. "Would you like me to, Jill?" He growled in her ear.
She purred. "Yes, please."
He kissed her cheek. "I'll have to make you wait for it, my love."
She turned in his arms. She gently took his face in her hands. "Never forget that I love you."
"I know, Jill. I know what you have to do." He brushed his lips across hers.
With one last shared smile, Jill moved away. Eddie followed in her wake. Neither said anything.
Adrian's bedroom door was closed when she stepped into the suite. Eddie looked around the sitting room and Jill's bedroom. He deemed them safe for her to enter. He kissed her cheek before he left, no words were spoken.
Jill stepped into her bedroom to find a steaming bath waiting. She smiled and rang for the maid to help her undress.
"Jill?" Adrian called through the door.
She opened it. "Yes?"
"Here, I have something for you." He held up a jar. "Specialized scented bathing salts. I saw you eying them. You could have just asked."
She took the jar. "I was nervous to."
"I could tell. Be glad I'm observant."
She cupped his cheek and brushed a kiss across his lips.
He placed a hand on top of hers. "I thought you didn't want to be kissed."
"I just wanted to try it out."
A knock on the door interrupted any further conversation.
"That will be your maid, I take it." He opened the door to admit the woman. "I'll be in my room." He walked back across the sitting room.
Jill led the woman into her room and closed the door behind her. "I know it's late and you wish to be in your own bed, so just the bare essentials. In can do the rest myself."
"Yes, milady."
After her corset was gone, Jill waved the maid on her way. She finished the last of her undressing. She poured a bit of the bath salts into the tub and then sunk in. It was the perfect temperature, but she wished she could have gotten in sooner. It would be too cold soon. It was times like this she wished her element was fire.
It was around two in the morning. On a normal night, this would just be the start of everything. But when they lived and traveled amongst the humans, they tried to keep similar schedules so as not to attract too much unwanted attention.
She sat in the water until it cooled. Even after that for a few more minutes. She was trying to steel herself for the coming events. She dropped the block and found Adrian was pacing anxiously in the sitting room, just as nervous as she was.
Finally, she stood and pushed the water gently away with her magic. She wrapped a robe around herself and looked at her nightgown lying out on the bed. She shook her head and nervously opened the bedroom door just a crack.
Adrian stopped his pacing and looked at her. She opened the door the rest of the way and stood there expectantly. He walked over and cupped her cheeks. He kissed her lightly on the lips, a reassuring kiss.
She stepped away.
He looked over to see her nightgown. "You don't have to be naked with me."
"Then I'll leave the robe on for now." She picked up the garment on the bed and placed it over her trunk.
Adrian pulled the blanket down on the bed. "Are you sure you want to do this here?"
"It's fine." She sat down on the mattress to rest a moment. She moved to the pillow and lay there staring up at the ceiling.
"Are you all right?" He asked as he undressed.
"Yes." She turned her head as he joined her. "You're still wearing your shirt."
"Trying to make you comfortable." He slipped a hand into hers.
"Are you comfortable?"
"I'm fine." He kissed her hand and then rolled into her.
"Adrian, I'm sorry." She whispered.
"Don't apologize to me, my princess. You didn't do this." He kissed her cheek. "Do you want me to tell you sweet things?" He rested a hand on her stomach.
"I want you to tell me true things." She rested her hand on top of his.
"True things?" He gave her a gently smile. "It's true that I love you. And it's true that you're beautiful."
She turned her tear-filled eyes to him. "Will you love our baby?"
He nodded and moved over her. "I will."
"So it starts?" She asked softly, her hands falling away. Maybe if she didn't touch him, it would be easier.
"Yes." Adrian leaned closer. "Do you want me to kiss you?"
She shook her head.
He wiped at the tears that fell from Jill's eyes. "Close your eyes and picture something more pleasant." He said as he took hold of her hips and tilted them up slightly.
"I have to concentrate to keep up the block."
"Okay." He positioned himself. "Are you ready?"
She nodded. She let out a sharp gasp when he entered her.
"Tell me if I need to stop."
"I will."
"Can I…start moving?" He asked awkwardly.
Jill let out a breath and nodded. "Okay."
"Okay." He started moving, his eyes locked with hers. "You all right?"
She nodded and closed her eyes. "Think about Sydney." She said softly. She was working hard to keep the block up, but thoughts of how awkward he felt kept filtering through. "You'd rather be with her anyway."
"I'm fine where I am." He moved faster.
"That's a lie." She flexed her fingers and laid a tentative hand on his back. The other went to his shoulder. Okay, not so bad. That's when she felt the string pull tight and then snap. She gasped as her body began to tremble.
"Is that really happening?" He panted.
She moaned and clutched at him.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, increasing his pace even more. If the bed weren't bolted to the floor, it would be banging against the wall. Her head was dangerously close to hitting it as it was. He tugged her lower.
He let out a moan of his own—thankfully—a short time later. He looked down at her a moment, his face full of conflict. He rolled away, pulling the blanket up over his waist, his shirt all askew.
Silence fell.
"Why did you apologize?" She asked when she couldn't stand the silence any longer.
He sighed. "Because neither of us really wanted to do that."
"Well, we did. And now it's done. At least we know now it won't be a completely horrid experience when we do it again." She said bitterly.
"Tonight or tomorrow?" He asked, ignoring her tone.
"Tomorrow. I don't think I could manage it again so soon."
He nodded and rolled out if the bed and started dressing. He lit a cigarette. "Do you want Eddie?"
She watched him. "No. It makes what we did seem cheap."
"It kind of is." He picked up his coat.
She huffed and rolled away, pulling the blanket over her shoulders.
Adrian gave a frustrated groan and threw the cigarette out her window. "Not what I meant."
"Of course it is. That I'm not much better than a cheap whore. The only prize is that we may have a child from these couplings."
"I'm just as angry as you." He kneeled beside Jill's bed. "Please don't be angry, my princess. I care about you. And I need the children we make as much as you. You're sweet. You're kind. You've helped me change into someone better. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm there." He kissed her cheek. "If you want me to stay, I will."
She turned her face to him and nodded. "Please."
He pushed his trousers back to the floor and climbed into the bed with her, wrapping her in his arms. She cried on his chest until she fell asleep.
Jill awoke with the sound of Adrian snoring under her ear. She rolled away from him and pressed her face into the pillow to hide from the sun's bright rays.
"Sydney." Adrian mumbled as he rolled into her.
"Jill." She corrected, pushing him away.
He pushed himself up on his elbow to look at her. "Oh." He flopped onto his back.
"Go on and feel guilty about it." She murmured sarcastically.
"I do." He argued. He rolled out of bed and pulled on his trousers. "What time is it?"
"Too damn early." She said into her pillow.
He laughed and kissed her cheek.
"Breakfast?"
"I'll see to it." He picked up the last of his clothes and stepped out her door.
"No drinking, please." She called at his back.
He poked his head back in the door. "It's well after noon. I'll be fine." He winked.
She shook her head and rolled away once more. Her mind instantly filled with Adrian's stream of thought.
Should I have stayed? I should have stayed. God, I need that drink. Should I go back in? Does she even want me there? Booze! Is Jill okay? I hope she's okay? I needed that drink. I could use another.
Jill pulled up block and got out of the bed. He was still pacing the sitting room, a drink in his hand.
"Pour me one of those."
He froze and turned to look at her. After taking in her appearance, he swallowed. "Did you hear all the things I just thought?"
She nodded. "You were thinking pretty loudly."
He walked to the bar and poured her a drink. "It burns your throat." He warned as he handed the glass over.
"I know. And I don't mind it. After…" She threw her head back and swallowed the drink down, making a face at the burn. She smiled and put the empty glass on the table as she walked to the window. "I hate when this is closed." She said as she pulled it open. She reached out and toyed with the water a little. A smile played on her lips.
"I wish Spirit gave me as much joy as water gives you." He poured another glass.
"No more, please." She turned. "Don't I make you happy sometimes? And when you get to see Sydney in your dreams? And knowing how other people are feeling by looking at the light playing around them?"
He took a sip from his drink as he contemplated her questions. "I don't get to see Sydney as often as I like. Seeing auras can get annoying, especially when there are people that shine too bright. And you?" He smiled and took several steps toward her. "I'm happy when you're happy. And I'm happy that you're alive. I guess, mostly, I'm happy that I married you. It took me off the market. No other girls can expect much out of their flirtations with me. And I can keep my affair with Sydney going without you being jealous because you know how much I love her." He touched her cheek. "But you know what happens to me when I use it too much. And you know how it affects you."
She turned back to the window. "What if our children are Spirit users?"
"At least I'll be able to help them. I had to figure most of it out on my own." He rested a hand on her back. "I'll ring for your maid. We should get something to eat. You need to see Eddie."
She shook her head. "I don't feel like leaving the room. I don't feel like dressing."
"If I get food, will you eat it?"
She felt the flash of concern when she let her defenses dip. "Yes."
"And Eddie?"
She watched the waves. "No. Not yet."
"Why?"
"It doesn't feel right." She finally moved away from the window. She took the glass from him and drank the last of its contents. "No more for you for a while. I'd like to be able to think clearly." She walked into her bedroom and closed the door.
Adrian stared at the door for a moment. He put his hand on the knob.
"Let me be alone!" She called.
"Yes, my lady." He left with a sigh.