Chapter Sixteen: Gusteau has a son?!
-Kitchen-
Under Remy's direction, Linguini reaches for a spice as Colette interrupts, handing him another one.
"No, no try this. It's better" Colette said.
Remy looks at the offered spice, and scowls; he begs to differ.
As Linguini reaches to take the spice, Remy pulls back on his hair.
Linguini flinces, his hand hesitating; withdrawing then reaching- forward-back-forward-back as Colette watches this odd display, still holding the spice out as Linguini grabs the wrist of his reaching hand, forcing it toward the spices, as Remy tugs at Linguini's hair, directing him just as hard in the opposite direction.
It's a battle for control that Linguini wins; his hand finally grabs he spice tin as he smiles at Colette and underneath the toque, Remy grimaces.
"Come on Remy don't be like that you could at least try it and hear her out" Jason said.
-Alleyway Behind Kitchen-
The dinner rush finished and Linguini and Colette exit the kitchen laughing and holding hands as she pulls him aboard her motorcycle and they peel out into the young Paris night.
Linguini and Colette laugh and scream as the wind rips by as Linguini barely able to hang on to his toque and we realize Remy and the others are still under it hanging for dear life.
"AHHHHHHH!" Jason, Remy and Max screamed as they hung on for dear life.
As Colette takes a sharp turn, Linguini drops his arms to steady himself and his toque with our three heroes inside flies off his head and tumbles to the street.
"Ow" Jason groaned just as dazed as Max and Remy as they emerges from the battered toque to see Colette's cycle disappear over the horizon as car horns blare and they turn to see a massive wall of traffic barreling toward them.
"GAAAAAHHHHH" they screamed as they dives clear as cars roar past, wheels screech and lights flash in all directions as they madly scrambles out of their way, finally making it to the curb.
They then look up panting as a young woman recoils, jumping back into her sweethearts arms.
"RATS!" the woman screamed as her escort swats at Remy and the others with his coat as Remy, Jason and Max runs, jumping into a nearby storm drain.
In the drain they tumbles to the cement floor, their hearts pounding and through the grate they sees the legs of the woman and her escort.
"Disgusting little creatures..."
Remy listens, pained as Jason panted his back as he spies his reflection in a pool of water at his feet as he turns, slowly disappearing into the sewer's darkness with Jason and Max.
-Outside the Back entrance: Guesteau's-
Remy, Jason and Max emerges from the curb drain, turns into the alley behind Guesteau's and heads up the back steps.
"Psst! Remy..." Emile said as they turn and Emile peeks out from behind the trash cans, where he waits with a group of rats, including Git, the lab rat.
"Hey little brother! We were afraid you weren't gonna show up!" Emile said.
"Hey Remy, howya doin'?" Git said as the other rats made greetings as Remy takes Emile aside, speaking in an angry whisper.
"You told them? Emile, that's exactly what I said not to do!" Remy growled.
"But they're my friends, I didn't think you meant I was telling 'em about tasting, about the nutty tang and look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Emile said.
"Don't tell me you're sorry, tell them you're sorry-" Remy said as Git approached.
"There a problem over here?" Git said.
"No" Remy said and scowls at Emile "No, there is not. Wait here."
"Emile I am having a long talk with you later" Jason glared as they followed.
Assured the kitchen is empty, Remy hops to door handle of the food safe and grabs it with both arms, plants his feet on the door and pulls as the handle doesn't budge, the door is locked.
Remy is puzzled as he looks toward Skinner's office, "better check there" Jason said.
Remy enters, a little nervous as he Jason and Max scampers up to Skinner's desk as a framed black and white photo of Gusteau speaks.
"Remy, what are you doing in here?" Gusteau asked.
"Emile shows up- I said not to, but he goes and blabs- it's a disaster anyway, they're hungry, the food safe is locked, I need the key" Remy said.
"They want you to steal food?" Gusteau said.
"Yes. No- it's complicated it's family, they don't have your ideals" Remy said as the collection of cardboard Gusteau standees come to life.
"Ideals? If Chef Fancy Pants had any ideals you think I'd be hawkin' barbecue over here?" Texan Gusteau said.
"Or Microwave burritos?" Mexican Gusteau said.
"Or tooth- I say, tooth-pickin' Chicken? S' about as French as a Corn Dawg!" Colonel Gusteau said.
The sketch of Gusteau as a dog-like ear of corn then barks and waves a coming soon sign.
"Woof! Rumming Roon!" Corndog Gusteau said.
"We're inventin' new ways to sell out over here!" Texan Gusteau said.
"Will ye' be wantin' some haggis bites, then?" Scottish Gusteau said as Gusteau photo spoke again.
"I cannot control how they use my image Remy, I am dead!" Gusteau said.
"Will you guys SHUT UP?" Remy yelled as they do, instantly.
"Thank you!" Jason said rubbing his head.
"I've gotta think!" Remy said as he climbs over the edge of Skinner's desk and pushes open the drawer, and begins to rummage through its contents.
"Word's getting out and if I can't keep them quiet...the entire clan's going to be after me with their mouths open and-ah! Here it is...hey..." Remy said as he notices a file labeled 'Gusteau: Last Will & Testament' as he turns to the Gusteau portrait.
"Your will-!"
"This used to be my office" Guesteau said as Remy pulls the file from the drawer and lays it on the desk as Jason and Max gather around.
"This is interesting. Mind if I-?"
"Not at all."
Remy flips open the file as there, alongside Gusteau's will, are recent press clippings featuring Linguini, and the letter to Skinner from Linguini's mother.
"Linguini..? Why would Linguini be filed with your will?" Remy asked.
As Remy, Jason and Max reads; their eyes jumping between the letter and the will, their eyes getting bigger until.
"HE'S YOUR SON?!" Remy, Jason and Max yelled.
"I... have a... SON?!" Gusteau yelled.
"YES! How could you not know this?!" Remy asked.
"I am a figment of your imagination! You did not know! How could I?" Gusteau said.
"Well, YOUR SON is the rightful owner of this restaurant!" Remy said as Skinner opens the office door and freezes stunned by the bizarre sight of rats on his desk top.
"Now we run!" Jason yelled as Remy, Jason and Max snatches the documents in their mouths and runs.
At the back entrance Remy and the others races out into the street and hot on their heels, Skinner runs smack into Lalo on a moped before the mortified Lalo can apologize Skinner is back on his feet.
"No... NO-! The rats! They stole my documents! They're getting away!" Skiiner yelled and with an crazed shriek, Skinner pushes Lalo off the scooter, jumps on and roars off down the street.
Skinner screeches to a stop at the intersection, looks around wildly for Remy and the others as he spots the documents scampering through traffic and guns the motor, recklessly giving chase.
Closing in on the rats, Skinner reaches down to snatch the documents when the rats suddenly veers and Skinner's moped plunges down a flight of steps to the river, where it lays in a heap at the bottom.
Skinner looks up, sees Remy, Jason and Max looking down at him from the balustrade, documents still clutched in their mouth as the heroes laughs.
A gust from a passing bus sweeps the will from Remy's open jaws and high into the air, where it flutters out over the river's edge and moving along the banks Skinner sees his chance.
He clambers aboard the Moped and takes off after the will, dodging obstacles and passers-by to pursue from the banks below as Remy, Jason and Max chases it from the balustrade above, the letter still in his mouth.
The will begins to descend, flitting toward Skinner below, who reaches for it, his fingers spreading wide as Remy, Jason and Max makes two desperate leaps from the balustrade to a tree, from the tree into the air just above Skinner where he intercepts the will, sailing toward the water and landing with a FWOP on the canvas roof of a Bateux Mouche.
Remy can't believe he's got both documents again and neither can Skinner as he ditches the Moped and leaps to the deck of the Seine boat.
"Does this guy ever give up!" Jason muffled.
With documents in mouth they leaps to another passing boat, as Skinner still hot on their tails.
A jam of water traffic keeps this game alive, the two leaping from boat to boat, but the last leap, to a dinning boat is too far.
Remy, Jason and Max tries anyway launching into the air as the documents in their mouth sweep back like wings and they catch an updraft and they sail across the gulf, landing miraculously on the deck as Skinner crazily follows, making the leap of his life as he stretches out for the dining boats' railing and falls short, grasping instead the tablecloth of a couple dining near the railing, which he yanks out from under their breakfast like an inept magician as he plunges into the river.
Skinner sputters in the middle of the Seine as Remy hops up to a bridge passing over head, scampering safely away with Skinner's papers.
An hour later Skinner returns to his office, soaked and furious only to find Linguini sitting at his desk.
"You? Get out of my office" Skinner said.
"He's not in your office, you are in his" Colette said as she holds up Gusteau Will as Skinner's jaw drops as he looks at Linguini, who can only shrug with embarrassment.
-Dining Area: Gusteaus's-
Camera lights flashes as Linguini sits at a table, posing for photos as several journalists hover nearby shouting questions.
"Chef Linguini! Chef Linguini! Your rise has been meteoric, and yet you have no formal training, what is the secret to your genius?" Reporter 1 asked while inside Linguini Toque Remy, Jason and Max reacts to the question, as Remy looking down at the head beneath him.
"Yeah smart guy, what is your secret?" Remy said bitterly.
"I'm Auguste Gusteau's son, it's in my blood, I guess" Linguini said.
"What about us?! The little chefs?!" Jason growled.
"But you weren't aware of that fact until very recently" Reporter 3 said.
"No..." Linguini said.
"And it resulted in your taking ownership of this restaurant how did you find out?" Reporter 3 asked.
"Because we risked our neck!" Remy growled.
"Some part of me just knew the Gusteau part...?" Linguini said as Remy tugs a hair tuft, causing Linguini to bop himself in the head with his frying pan.
"Where do you get your inspiration?" Reporter 1 asked.
"Inspiration?"
Again, Remy pricks up his ears.
"Inspiration has many names, mine is named Colette."
"WHAT?!" Remy yelled in outraged as squeaks erupts from inside Linguini's toque as Linguini quickly muffles Remy's squeaks with both hands as he sets his toque down on the table and Linguini sucks on his teeth, making a squeaking sound.
"Something stuck in my teeth" he said.
Later Horst looks at the clock, scowls, and turns to Colette.
"It's past opening time" Horst said.
"He should've finished an hour ago" Colette said as she heaves an annoyed sigh and heads out to the dining area and as she enters the swirl of activity to confront Linguini as he shoots her a cocky smile, offering her a glass of champagne.
"Bon jour, Mon Cherie, join us we were talking about my inspiration" Linguini said as Colette turns to the journalists.
"Yes, he calls it his "tiny Chefs" Colette said as Linguini muffles another set of squeaks of protest from under his toque as he shoots Colette a reprimanding look, leans in and says in a low, tight voice.
"Not that, dearest... I meant you" Linguini said just then the front door swings open, spilling cold light and air into the warmth of the restaurant as the press swings its attention to the tall, backlit spectre at the entrance, whispering his legendary name 'Ego' as he glides through them without acknowledging their presence, and stops in front of Linguini, who is still seated.
"You are Monsieur Linguini?" Ego said.
"Uh, hello" Linguini said.
"Pardon me for interrupting your...premature celebration but I thought it only fair to give you a sporting chance as you are new to this game" Ego said as Remy, Jason and Max watches with fear and awe.
"Uh... game?"
"Yes, and you've been playing with-out an opponent which is, as you may have guessed, against the rules" Ego said.
"You're Anton Ego" Linguini said as Ego chuckles, turning to the gallery, a lion almost sympathetic toward the sacrificial lamb.
"You're slow for someone in the fast lane" Ego said.
"And you're thin for someone who likes food" Linguini bites back as a murmur of surprised delight ripples through the assembled as Ego's eyes flash.
"I don't "like" food, I love it, if I don't love it, I don't—swallow" Ego said as Linguini swallows upper hand regained, Ego sniffs "I will return tomorrow night with high expectations, pray you don't disappoint me" Ego said as he turns and sweeps out of the restaurant.
There is a heavy pause as Colette turns to the assembled press.
"Listen, we hate to be rude, but we're French and it's dinner time" Colette said as she pulls Linguini from the table and heads to the kitchen as he calls back to the press in apology.
"She meant to say it's dinner time, and we're French!" later that day Remy, Jason and Max stands on the desk top, glowering at Linguini.
"Don't give me that look, you were distracting me in front of the press. How am I supposed to concentrate with you yanking my hair all the time?" Linguini said as he sticks out his hand, offering Remy and the other a now familiar ramp to their post atop Linguini's head.
"Oh I wish he could hear what were saying!" Jason said as Remy shoots Linguini an 'about time' look as they climb up his arm and under his toque.
"And that's another thing, your opinion isn't the only one that matters here, Colette knows how to cook too, you know-" Linguini said while under the toque as this is the last straw and Remy grabs a hair hank and pulls too hard "OW! Alright that's it!"
At the back entrance the door bangs open as Linguini storms out, mashing his toque against his head, angrily shuts the door behind him as he yanks his toque off and gets in Remy's and the others tiny faces.
"You take a break, little chef, I'm not your puppet, and you're not my-uh, puppet... controlling... guy, you cool off and get your mind right, little chefs Ego is coming and I've gotta focus!" Linguini said as he storms back into the kitchen.
"Uh Remy?" Jason sai as Remy is furious and in a pint-sized fit of rage he kicks a can, then, tottering under its weight, picks up a bottle to throw against the wall and suddenly finds himself face to face with Emile and his rat pals.
"Wow, I've never seen that before" Emile said.
"Yeah... it's like you're his fluffy bunny or something." Git said as the other rats laugh as Remy's face goes hard.
"Emile!" Jason growled.
"I'm sorry about all the guys, I tried to limit them, but-"
"You know what? It's okay" Remy said.
"It is?" Jason said.
"I've been selfish, you guys hungry?" Remy as the rats respond eagerly, "Dinner's on me, we'll go after closing time, in fact-" Remy said to Emile with an evil grin "-tell Dad to bring the whole clan."
"Uh-oh" Jason and Max said knowing this will end badly.
Soon after closing and lights out a metal grate in the floor lifts up as Remy, Jason, Max and Django peek out.
"This is great, son. An inside job, I see the appeal-" Django said.
"Shhh!" Remy said as they climb out, looks around, signals the coast is clear as an army of rats a crack food thief unit pour in after him, mobilizing effectively to raid the vault as he opens the door, when all of a sudden Linguini returns to the kitchen.
"Little Chefs...? Little Chefs?" Linguini said as the clan of rats instantly freeze, camouflaging themselves it is both amazing and precarious, any close look will betray the deception.
Remy, Jason and Max steps out, revealing themselves to Linguini.
"Hey, Little Chef I thought you went back to the apartment, then when you weren't there, I don't know, it didn't seem right-" as Linguini opens up to Remy, Jason and Max they listens, distracted, "to leave things the way we did so I came back, hoping you'd be here and here you are" Linguini is so absorbed in his own feelings that he's utterly blind to the fact that the food safe door is ajar, and that he's caught the rats mid-heist.
"Look, I don't want to fight, I've been under a lot of- you know, pressure a lot has changed in not very much time, you know, I'm suddenly a Gusteau and I gotta be a Gusteau or you know, people will be disappointed it's weird..."
Meanwhile EMILE hides in the center of an asparagus bunch held together by a rubber band as his eyes latch on to a juicy bunch of grapes, which hang literally in front of his face.
Enticed, he leans forward just enough to get his lips around the end of a single grape, and s-l-o-w-l-y sucks it off the stem and into his mouth, swallowing it whole. "Mmmnn." He glances up another grape beckons as Emile leans for it.
"I've never disappointed anyone before because nobody's ever expected anything of me, and the only reason anyone expects anything from me now is... because of all you"
"Feel bad now?" Jason whispers as Remy listens to Linguini, shamed by his kind words.
"I haven't been fair to you. You've never failed me, and I should never forget that."
Meanwhile Emile, now stuffed and lumpy with grapes, eyes the last reaming grape on the stem balancing on a cheese wheel, he lashes the asparagus rubber band to the shelf and leans out over the edge, straining to reach the lone grape.
"The most honorable friend a guy could ever ask-"
The cheese wheel shifts as Emile loses his balance and falls, hits the floor spread-eagled as the cheese lands on top of him, causing his bellyful of grapes to machine gun from his mouth and hit the back of Linguini's neck as he turns sees that the food safe door is open.
"What is this? What's going on" he said as he pulls open the door and flips the light on as the rats flee spilling from the shelves in a squeaking, fur covered waves that rushes past Linguini's feet and out the open door as Linguini turns to Jason, Max and Remy.
"You're stealing from me? How could you? I thought you were my friends, I trusted you!"
The door bursts open and a flood of rats pour out the rear door into the alley, Linguini behind them brandishing a mop.
"Get out! You and all your rat buddies! And don't come back! Or I'll treat you the way restaurants are supposed to treat pests!" Linguini yelled as he ducks back inside, slamming the door behind him.
Remy stares in silence, devastated by what he's done as Django and the rest of the rat clan emerges from the shadows, gathering around the group including Remy, Jason, Max and Emile.
"You're right, Dad, who am I kidding? We are what we are. And we're rats" Remy said as he turns, unconsciously drops to four legs and walks slowly away, his voice distant and sad, "Well, he'll leave soon... and now you know how to get in. Steal all you want."
"You're not coming?" Django asked.
"I've lost my appetite" Remy said.
"Remy wait!" Jason said as he and Max ran after him.
Soon the next day Remy, Jason and Max watches as Linguini places a step ladder at the front of the kitchen and stands on the top step as he clears his throat.
"Attention, attention everyone" Linguini said as the staff pauses and turns their attentions to Linguini. "Tonight is a big night. Appetite is coming and he's going to have a big Ego uh I mean Ego, he's coming the critic? And he's going to order, something. Something from our menu. And we'll have to cook it. Unless he orders something cold. Like a salad."
The cooks exchange confused glances Colette wilts this is not the inspiration she had in mind as Remy and the others are watching this through the kitchen window.
"Just can't leave it alone, can ya'?" Emile said as he is by the trash as Remy, Jason and Max hops down and walks over to him.
"You really shouldn't be here during restaurant hours, it's not safe" Remy said.
"I'm hungry, and I don't need the inside food to be happy the key, my friend, is to not be picky, observe..." Emile said lifts the corner of a toppled-over box, exposing a chunk of cheese as Emile chuckles, reaching for the cheese.
"No—WAIT!" Remy yelled as he Jason and Max grabs Emile's tail and pulls him clear a hinge drops, trapping Remy, Jason and Max inside a cage as Emile rushes to Remy, panicked.
"Oh no! What'll we do?! I'll go get Dad!" Emile yelled as a shadow looms over them as Emile quickly hides and Skinner picks up the trap/cage, grinning ear to ear.
"You may think you are a chef, but you are still... only a rat" Skinner said.
"Oh yeah!" Jason growled.
Inside the cooks are sitting now, bored out of their minds. Linguini is still talking.
"Sure he took away a star last time he reviewed this place, sure, it probably killed Gust- Dad."
"Oh, this is very bad juju here" Lalo said.
"But I'll tell you one thing-" Mustafa then bursts through the dining room door, interrupting.
"Ego is here!" the air is suddenly sucked from the room as the cooks stand alert, frightened. Sensing what is needed, Colette steps up.
"Arnot Ego is just another customer. Let's cook!" Colette said an intent look sweeps the faces of the staff with a burst of grunts, cries and hand claps they return to work.
"Yeah-! Let's- okay..."
Meanwhile the cage is set down inside the trunk of Skinner car as Remy looks up at Skinner while Jason and Max glare.
"So! I have in mind a simple arrange- ment; you will create for me a newline of Chef Skinner frozen foods, and I, in return, will not kill you" Skinner said as Remy startles, looks aghast then laughing, Skinner slams shut the trunk and exits toward the restaurant.
Nearby, Emile watches cautiously.
"Au revoir, rat!"
A.N. Please Review.