The drive to California with three rusty hunters in an old Impala was long, very long. But Dean tried to use the time to his advantage by training up Castiel for the case. Since they had three different jobs, they wouldn't be together all of the time and Castiel was still not 100% with the people skills. Dean explained that he should do a lot of observing, listening and just do what the bosses say and he would find him on set to plan their next move.
When they arrived, Dean was reminded of a case they had worked years ago on another movie set and he immediately pulled Cas over to the catering table, excitedly showing him all of the awesome food that the cast and crew had access to. "Geez, Dean, is food all you ever think about?" Sam huffed at his brother as he stuffed his face. Dean was handing Cas a mini cheeseburger insisting that he try one.
"C'mon, Sammy, you've got to admit, this is a pretty awesome spread. They even have lettuce down there if you want to gnaw on some raw veggies!"
"Let's just find the office and get started."
They made their way to the office and were greeted by a harried admin talking into a headset while she was quickly tapping away on her smartphone
"Hello, ma'am, I'm Lars Ulrich. This is James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett. We are new hires."
"Oh, right, let's see," she began rooting through a stack of papers, "wardrobe, lighting, and Melody Waters' assistant. Here we go."
She handed them cursory paperwork to fill out while she made phone calls to each of their bosses to come and get them. Sam's new boss was the first to walk in. She was an older heavyset lady, probably in her fifties, but she looked very well put together. She was stylishly dressed in soft flowing dark colors and a thin scarf. It made sense that this woman dealt with clothing for a living.
"Hi, I'm Helen Mattingly. Which one of you is James?"
Sam stood up and outstretched his hand to greet her. "I am, nice to meet you."
She looked him over head to toe once and turned on her heel ordering him to follow her. He looked back at Dean with a helpless look but Dean just nodded his head toward the door to scoot his brother out of it. Sam followed Helen to a large enclosed area with racks of clothing lining most of the walls and a few small changing booths against one wall and mirrors on the opposite side.
"OK," said Helen pointing to the racks of clothing in the wardrobe area, "Each of these racks are labeled with the character's clothing. This is Sam, Dean is across the way and over here is Castiel. There are tags on each item that tell which act and scene the item will be used for. We have all the primaries coming in this morning for initial fittings. You just need to have them try on the ones labeled Act I Scene 1 for now. If it fits, place them back on the rack. If it doesn't, over here on the reject rack. And if the actor complains about something, mark the label with the specific issue here and we will deal with it. Got it?"
"Uh, sure." Sam thought that sounded fairly easy. He looked over the racks labeled Sam and Dean and he thought they looked pretty much like the inside of his closet. Did they really wear that much plaid, he wondered as he looked down and noticed the blue plaid he was wearing today. Maybe he would go shopping after this case.
The first person to come in was a tall Fabio looking man with his shirt completely unbuttoned. He was built like a brick shithouse and had a chiseled face with light brown hair flowing past his shoulders. Sam groaned as he looked down at his schedule and realized that this guy was playing him.
The man extended his giant hand for a bone crushing shake, "Hi, uh, I'm Lance. I was told to come here for costume fitting?" Lance seemed pretty nervous as he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "I'm playing, uh, Sam?"
"OK, I'm James. So, I think you just need to try on some stuff for the first act."
"Thanks," Lance said and seemed relieved. "Sorry, this is my first big movie gig so I'm a bit green. Before this it's been mostly commercials. Maybe you've seen me? Axe body spray guy?"
Sam grunted something that he hoped didn't sound too offensive. "Well, here's the stuff they have labeled for Act I." Sam shoved a handful of shirts and pants at the guy. "There's the dressing room. Just let me know what fits and what doesn't."
Lance looked down at the pile of clothing and frowned. "Um, I'm kind of, you know, known for my physique. Isn't this a lot of layers? I was sort of thinking Sam is the kind of guy that doesn't like to wear shirts much."
You've got to be kidding, thought Sam. OK, sure, he liked to work out and took pride in his body but is this how Chuck had interpreted him? God, he hoped this case ended quickly!
"Look, I don't pick out the costumes, I just sort them. Can you just try them on?" Sam was trying hard not to sound frustrated.
Lance came out of the dressing room with the first red plaid shirt on left wide open in the front, showing off his rippling abs. "OK, how does this look? I'm still wearing what they want, it just shows off a little more." He preened in front of the mirror, making a few muscle poses.
"What about that t-shirt I gave you?"
"I don't think it is something that Sam would wear. It needs to be tighter. Do you have anything smaller?"
Sam sighed, "Tell you what, I'll mark down on that tag that the shirt is too big so they get you a smaller one, OK?" Don't roll your eyes, don't roll your eyes, Sam repeated to himself like a mantra.
The actor smiled at him and said, "So, James, have you read the books? What do you think about the story? Pretty farfetched, huh?"
"No, I haven't read the books, but, I, uh, am familiar with the story, definitely crazy stuff. Can you imagine, angels and demons?" Sam tried his best to sound like this was a preposterous idea.
"Right," laughed the actor, "and demon blood? Pretty cool, though! Drink demon blood and get super powers!" He said this with the enthusiasm of a five year old watching Spiderman cartoons.
Sam's face turned into something that could only be called a pout, "I don't think Sam did it for the super powers. He was just trying to kill Lilith." He realized he said this with maybe a bit too much emphasis when the actor looked back at him almost offended.
"Whatever, dude. Hey, maybe I can get them to add even more powers. Wouldn't it be cool if the demon blood made Sam fly like Superman or maybe go invisible?!" OK, thought Sam, this guy's a few cards short of a whole deck but he was still difficult to hate. He had this laid back surfer vibe that was kind of endearing.
Sam knew he needed to start questioning the cast members about the case. "So, have you heard about the actresses playing Castiel getting hurt? Weird, right?"
"No, what's weird? Sorry, I don't read much… or watch the news really."
"Uh, never mind. Anyway, if everything else fits OK, I think you're done."
Sam was just finishing up sorting out Lance's clothes when another actor strutted through the door. This douchebag was wearing sunglasses (indoors!) and was dressed in this pretentious hipster getup with baggy ripped pants, a tunic shirt, long scarf wrapped around his neck a few times and a beanie hat, flopped over to the side. He was talking to someone on his cell phone and barely spared a glance at Sam, just put up one finger, indicating that Sam could wait for him to finish.
Once he was finished with his phone conversation, he peered over his glasses at Sam, "I'm here for the Dean fitting." His voice sounded like he was forcing a low grumble.
"Hi, I'm James. So you're playing Dean, huh?"
"Yes, my name is Nick, but I will be putting that name aside for a while to become Dean."
"Right, well, here's some stuff to try on for Act I. Just let me know what fits and what doesn't."
The man looked up and in a dramatic voice said, "Dean, sweating through is dirty green t-shirt, tied his flannel around his waist, squinting up at the oppressive sun, mouth parched and hands covered in the soil of his own grave."
"Huh?"
"It's from one of the books we are interpreting, Lazarus Rising. I delve as far into my characters as I can. I find memorizing parts of their origin story helps me to become one with the character. Dean is such a complicated and heroic man, I will need to dig deep to bring him to life."
Oh, God, surely Sam was going to give himself an aneurism from holding in the eye rolls so much today. "Yeah, um, good luck with that."
"It's just the crying, you know? So much crying!"
"W-what," Sam sputtered.
"I'll have to find my inner tears to cry as much as Dean does."
"He doesn't…what…huh?" Sam couldn't believe this. How were their lives being manipulated and interpreted, anyway? He wanted nothing to do with these stupid books, but now he was afraid he may just have to look them up and see how Chuck had described their lives. Sure, Dean cries sometimes. But look at his life, he has every right to, doesn't he? A guy goes literally through hell and back has earned the right to show some emotion about it, right?
"But you know, with all that man pain? Maybe there could be an Oscar nom in it for me." The actor sounded hopeful for a moment then shook his head, "I doubt it, though. These award shows never give any acknowledgement to this genre. It's unfair, really. Oh, well. At least Dean gets to bang the hot angel, right?"
"Oh, Anna's in this, too?"
"No, Castiel."
Sam nearly choked. What the hell had Chuck written?! "Uh, I don't remember that from the books!"
"Well, it was added for the movie. I mean it's pretty implied in the books, right? I mean the epic staring, the dying for each other, the 'gripping you tight', and how many times do you need to look at a guy's mouth, really? All kind of points to something more, don't you think?"
Mouth agape, Sam managed, "But they're both guys and Dean is straight!"
The actor looked at Sam over his shoulder from where he was unbuttoning one of the shirts he had been trying on and rolled his eyes. "Riiiiight, cause it would be so unheard of for two dudes to get it on. And really, you think Dean is completely straight? Are you sure you are familiar with their whole story? I mean male siren? Dr. Sexy? Overcompensating male vibrato? Should I go on?"
Sam was dumbstruck. Everything that Nick was saying was swirling around in his head, fitting together in little empty spaces of his brain like a puzzle finally coming together. Yeah, he had noticed all those long stares between Dean and Cas. He thought it was just part of their whole, I don't know, profound bond thing. Cas dying for Dean a few times he had tried to write off as a sacrifice for humanity, not Dean in particular. Maybe it was because Cas was Dean's guardian angel…. or something.
The guy definitely had a point about Dr. Sexy and that damn siren, though. OK, this was too much. Sam would have to re-evaluate thirty-some years (not including hell time) of everything he believed about his older brother. He started to think about what a mess Dean had been when he believed that Cas was killed by the Leviathans and how different Dean had been with Cas since getting back from Purgatory. What had happened there? Could his brother, lifelong skirt chaser, have fallen for an angel? In a male vessel? Come to think of it, he hasn't seen Dean express interest in any girls since Purgatory.
"It doesn't matter anyway, they have changed Castiel to a woman so that they could add the love story without pissing off the conservatives."
Oh, so that's why they are casting female actresses for this part, thought Sam. Taking advantage of this perfect segue, he decided to ask about the injured actresses. "Oh, so have you met the actress playing Castiel? I heard that she wasn't the only choice but that there were some accidents with the others?"
"I know, it's tragic! I barely knew any of them, though. They all had to quit because of injuries within a week of us starting rehearsals."
"So, I wonder if maybe they weren't accidents. Do you know if there was anyone that wanted the role that might be trying to get revenge for not being chosen or something?"
"Not that I know of. They only tested me with those three plus Melody, who has the role now. I gotta say, she doesn't seem like the type to go around burning people because they got a job she wanted, but, who knows? This is show business, right? It can be pretty cut throat."
Sam continued with his usual line of questioning about cold spots and sulfur smells only to get strange looks from the actor. It didn't seem like he knew anything.