"Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Time has passed you by
Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven."
-Forgiven(Within Temptation)
Adams POV (extra chapter)
Everything seemed so messed up.
I headed towards the grave yard, twirling the deep red roses stem between my fingers. It stuck through my glove as I did so, crimson blood dripping from my hand. I remained silent as I went down the worn path; It was rare I came to a place like this for personal reasons.
The rain had stopped, but the heavy grey clouds still hung over head, a cool breeze blowing through early spring air. It was the anniversary of many things today. Many things that made the human half of me want to curl up by the head stone I now found at my feet.
"It's been a year, like I promised." I smiled weakly. "Not that you care….you never kept yours.".
On the stone read the name Neah Walker, no age or death written beneath. It was fairly unspectacular, but we never made apparent the death of a family member. Despite its simplicity I felt a rush of emotions over me making my body tremble with pain. This was the grave of the only person I couldn't get back.
"Neah…." Tears began to stream down my face. A voice whispered in my head-
"I lied.".
A sob broke out from my lips. I didn't want to think about that day, the day I ended it. I told myself I had no choice, that I had to protect my family and the people I loved, but it was just an excuse. I would have done anything to save him- If I could have. The idea that he had picked a successor, and an exorcist no less, did not sit well in my chest where my heart had once belonged either. Still, I felt there was something eerily familiar about Allen, and even in staring at Neah's grave I was lost in thought at why I hadn't killed him. Was there something….more? Was I missing something? But these where just background thoughts to the sorrow and guilt I was feeling. This was my day to let go and feel the full weight of my mistakes. The real question was what they were, and why I had made them.
I cried over the headstone for a while, unable to make words or coherent thoughts. About ten minutes in a little girl came over to me that had lost her brother the week before. Ironically enough her father was now one of my akuma, but still she looked at me concerned.
"Are you alright? I know it's hard losing someone, mister, but they'd want you to live on." She smiled at me and hugged me. "I know you'll be ok. I made it when my big bro died."
I couldn't help but laugh a little in dark humor through my tears.
"Something funny mister?" she pulled away a bit.
"Oh nothing…. I'm just wondering" I looked up "why aren't there more humans that think that way? If there where….maybe this planet wouldn't be the unholy mess that it is." I laughed a bit more "You should keep it up." I looked directly at her. "It's a rare gift, to be sentient."
She tilted her head. "I don't know what you mean, but I hope that you feel better soon." The girl walked away back to the far edge of the graveyard leaving me alone with Neah again.
I sat there for a few minutes, and then placed the rose at the headstone.
"I should probably get going Neah. My brothers probably mad at me." I looked at the grave wearily "I still love you. You can't ever change that, no matter how much you want me dead."
As I walked away and back to the street I saw our vehicle at the side of the road waiting for me, Tyki's silhouette in the back.
"Besides" I whispered under my breath. "You're not the only anniversary today, Neah" I smiled a bit. "There's still one more I need to make apparent today."