Ahaha, to be honest I wrote most of this during class XD And the last two pages or so I wrote while sitting in the car parked outside a school waiting to go inside and do my Grade 3 music theory exam XD

I WILL WARN YOU NOW. It's been absolutely ages since I've read the books, and I reeeaaally can't be asked to read the entire OotP again just for this. So there won't be much HP plot stuff for quite a while, if at all. I just needed to have them all fifteen.

Also, another warning. Ed's gonna be a bit OOC - quieter and slightly more polite. He's still Ed, though, so don't worry XD

And I'm really sorry about the language in this one T.T

Disclaimer~

Chapter One - The Golden Boy

There was chaos in the Great Hall.

Students were yelling and swearing, all composure gone, and the majority of the first years either had to be carted off to the psychology ward or were now lying unconscious on the stone floor.

"Silence!" The deafening boom of Dumbledore's voice set everyone in their seats again, but muffled whispers and gasps could still clearly be heard. Dumbledore sighed, deciding this was probably the best he was going to get out of them.

"You are probably all wondering who our guest is." He then continued in a quieter voice, "Maybe now would be a good time to introduce yourself, Edward."

'Edward' swung his right leg over the thestral's back, dismounting in front of the horse of death and landing beautifully in a graceful crouch. He stood up straight - almost formally straight, noticed the older pupils - though he was obviously uncomfortable with the eyes of hundreds of curious animals trained upon him, as his shoulders were hunched, his head was bowed slightly and his hands were clasped behind his back. There was a look of meek determination on his face, and when he spoke his quiet feminine voice rang out through the huge hall like an alto chime, inciting gasps and sighs from every female in the room. "My name is Edward Elric, and I am the newest student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I hope you can accept me." He bowed, his long, golden - for that was what it was - hair falling gracefully over his exposed narrow shoulders.

The students, now over their brief loss of control, looked on in awe. Never had Hogwarts seen a student quite like Edward - especially a male one, noted the Slytherins with reproach - in all history. His right arm, left bare and clearly visible to every student in the room by his simple black tank, glinted silver in the sunlight now pouring through the decorative hole in the wall behind him, and the strong Scottish daylight created an almost ethereal aura around him. His mid-bicep length hair also shone like the sun, and most of the girls looked on in envy. He had the face of a child but the eyes of an elder, and this didn't fail to unnerve many of the teachers now discreetly crowding towards the front of the room.

After a minute or two, a bold Hufflepuff hesitantly raised her hand. "Sir, if he's a student, shouldn't he be sorted?"

There was a low rumble of agreement across the Great Hall.

"No - Edward will be given free reign to wander between houses, and is also exemplified from the school uniform and curfew. He will be present in most classes and will be eligible for detentions and such, however, so please treat him as an ordinary student."

Another brave hand shot up, this time a Gryffindor. "What year will he be in?"

"Fifth year." Dumbledore smiled at the thirty-two hands now eagerly raised.

"I think any more questions should be directed to Edward himself, if he doesn't mind."

A moan of excited murmurs erupted, and this time Dumbledore made no attempt to stop them. He ushered Edward to sit down, and strode over to his own seat at the head of the Head Table. "Let the feast begin!"

Ed paled. He'd tried his best to keep calm when he found out about magic, he really did. It wasn't his fault Mustang had taunted him about it - he should be the one paying for that hole in the wall, not Ed.

And even though he'd now come to accept the existence of magic (it had helped calm him significantly when he was told it only existed in an alternate dimension), it still unnerved him somewhat, and even the mere mention of animal transfiguration had him running for the bathroom.

"Uh... hey," a voice muttered nervously from his left.

"Hey," Ed replied, his trademark nonchalance shining through.

"I'm Ron. Ron Weasley. It's great to have someone like you around, you know. Keeps the girls off me."

Ed blinked.

"Oh, come off it, Ronald. As if."

Ed turned to face the source of the interruption, and found an amused brunette sitting opposite Ron. She caught his eye, and before she could stop herself, she stared in awe.

"My name's Hermione Granger. Please ignore Ron; he's a bit of an idiot." My god, those eyes.

Ed smirked, and two girls sitting to his right began giggling manically. Ed ignored them - due to his rather... unorthodox reputation, he was used to plenty of attention back home.

Home...

"... was just kidding, 'Mione!" Ed blinked as he drew himself back to reality. There was no use thinking about things like that now. He'd just get depressed.

"You alright?" a gruff voice asked from directly opposite.

"Yeah..." Ed mumbled.

The boy didn't reply, but the look of knowledge in his green eyes told Ed he too had seen things he definitely shouldn't have. Ed decided he liked him.

"And that's Harry Potter." Hermione motioned to the boy sitting next to her.

Ed raised his eyebrows. Wasn't Harry Potter supposed to be some legend here?

"I know, right?" Ron grinned. "And he's our best friend!"

Ed smiled in surprise, sipping the pumpkin juice through a straw he'd discreetly transmuted under the table. At least he'd get to know some interesting people during his stay here.

"Hey..." Hermione wondered out loud. "How old are you? Professor Dumbledore said you're in the fifth year like us, but you look older."

Ed choked on his drink.

"Yeah, I was thinking that." It was Harry. Of course someone like him would notice, Ed thought. Damn.

"I'm fifteen, same as you guys. It's probably just the scars that make me look older. Lots of people in the... back home used to tell me that, too."

"Oh." Hermione briefly pondered the idea that he was lying, but what good would it do him to lie about his age? She quickly dismissed the thought.

"I guess that would explain it."

Ed looked up at Harry, vague confusion on his face. "Explain what?"

"Well, you look physically older, but I was thinking you were a little too short to be older than us, anyway. You're Hermione's height, after all."

The cup of pumpkin juice Ed was currently drinking from suddenly exploded, sending shards of metal cascading down on his nearby housemates.

"Blimey..." Ron was staring at Ed's balled fists with wide eyes, and slid down the bench a few inches, scared Ed's wrath would be turned on him rather than another inanimate object.

"Um..." Hermione struggled to break the tension. "What's your favourite topic, Edward?"

"Ed."

The trio looked at him, confused.

"Just call me Ed."

"Okay, Ed." Hermione smiled.

Ed sat in consideration for a while, happy for the change of subject. "I guess... science. But chemistry, specifically."

"Chemistry... I guess the closest we have to chemistry here is potions," Harry commented.

"Sounds slightly less ridiculous than some of the other subjects, at least," Ed snorted.

"Yeah, 'Mione doesn't believe in Divination either," Ron laughed.

"Ronald!" Hermione scolded. "I just... I just think there are more accurate ways of thinking about things, that's all."

"And Trelawney's a fake," Harry muttered under his breath.

"Not you too, Harry!"

Their friendly banter had really begun to cheer Ed up. Knowing that these witches and wizards at least had some common sense in them made him much more open to the idea of talking to them. Maybe he could even make a couple of friends here.

"Ooo, Potter - making friends with the new weirdo to try and make yourself look tougher, are you?" a voice sneered from behind Ron, who immediately whipped around in his seat.

"Malfoy!" Harry and Ron chorused.

Malfoy...? Ed looked on in curiosity, temporarily overlooking the 'weirdo' comment. I can tell he's a bastard just by looking at him.

"Having fun with your new girlfriend, Potter?"

Ed gritted his teeth and glared at Harry's plate.

Harry spared a worried glance at him, catching the murderous glint in Ed's eyes.

"Look, Malfoy - I may hate your guts, but I swear it'll be better for all of us if you just leave now."

"Aww, isn't that sweet? Potter's trying to protect me." Malfoy and his gorilla lackeys burst out into jeering laughter. "Maybe he's afraid I'll do something to his poor, innocent midget."

Before anyone could even tell what had just happened, Ed was standing in his seat with his right fist raised (literally growling), and Malfoy was lying spread-eagled on the floor twenty metres away, half-conscious with a severely broken and bleeding nose that looked like it would take weeks to heal.

"What the-" Malfoy started, but was quickly cut off by a deathly-frightening Ed.

"Fuck off before I have to personally send you to hell myself, you bastard."

The feral snarl had barely escaped Ed's throat before two teachers - McGonagall and Snape - had each of his arms and he was being dragged 'out of harm's way' - each were pleasantly greeted with a 'Get off me and let me fucking kill him' in return.

"Fifty points from- detention for a month, Mr. Elric!" McGonagall shrieked.

"I don't fucking care!"

"Make that two months, Elric." Snape hissed his name so threateningly even the nearby Slytherins shuddered.

Hermione would've said something to try to calm Ed down if she wasn't so damn scared. Who knew a boy looking like that could be as scary as a Death Eater?

Edward eventually let himself be dragged away - he assumed to Dumbledore's office, since Dumbledore was leading the way - but only after a sufficient amount of hurled profanities at the object of his objection.

The Great Hall was, for once in a good few months, utterly silent. The myriad of assorted oddments had worn the students down, and Edward's sudden explosion had every student almost afraid to move.

Ron was the first to break the deafening still. "Bloody hell,"

The teachers didn't even bother to reprimand his language - for 'bloody hell' was really the only way to describe it, almost even in the literal sense. Malfoy had lost consciousness a few moments after Ed left the Hall, and had been magically carted off by Madame Pomfrey a minute later. Hermione had paled when she overheard her muttering about 'broken nose, broken skull, broken cheekbone, broken everything!' There was still a gruesome puddle of blood on the stone floor - something Professor Vector was quick to clean up with a flick of her wand.

"He just... snapped," Hermione whispered, unable to find a suitable word for her reaction.

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "One moment he was just talking to us, and the next moment Malfoy's in the hospital ward. It was like he changed into a completely different person."

"Remind me never to piss him off," Ron squeaked.

"I don't think you need reminding." Harry grimaced.

"Now, Edward - would you like to explain what just happened?"

Snape shoved Ed forward to speak with Dumbledore, and it took all of Ed's iron will not to just knock Snape out too.

"Isn't it obvious?" McGonagall snapped. "He attacked Mr. Mal-"

Dumbledore cut her off. "That is enough, Professor. I would prefer to hear the story from Edward, if he doesn't mind." Dumbledore turned his face to Ed, his smile gone but a residual calm lingering around him, telling of his patience.

"The bastard-" Ed stopped at the look on Dumbledore's face, and reluctantly corrected himself. "Malfoy was being a real prat - making fun of Harry and that lot as if he owned the world. Then he insulted me and called me a girl and then he called me short and I just couldn't stop myself, Professor."

Snape scoffed quietly at the innocent look on Edward's face, but McGonagall hushed him with a sharp glare.

"I see. I will make sure Mr. Malfoy is punished for provocation, but unfortunately that does not excuse your actions, Edward. You will receive two months' worth of detentions from Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape."

Ed scowled, but made no move to contradict him.

Dumbledore smiled. "That is all."

McGonagall signaled for Edward to follow her out of the office, and Edward complied, trailing after the two professors.

"Oh, and Edward?"

Edward lazily turned his head sideways, not bothering to turn around fully.

"Try to stay out of trouble." Dumbledore's mischievous smile immediately brightened Edward's festering bad mood, as he planned on doing everything he could to do the opposite. Edward Elric wasn't one for staying still, after all.

Ed was already waiting in the Gryffindor common room by the time the trio arrived. He was huddled in front of the roaring red fire, his knees drawn up to his square chin with an open book (quite a thick one, too) resting precariously on them. He seemed incredibly concentrated on the book in front of him; his eyebrows were furrowed slightly and his mouth was set in a firm line. He seemed so deep in thought, in fact, that Harry was almost afraid to disturb him.

"Um... Ed?"

Ed lurched forward and his head whipped around so fast it cracked, wild panic in his molten eyes. "Oh... It's just you." Ed sighed and returned his undying attention to the yellowed pages of the thick textbook in front of him that had somehow miraculously not fallen off.

Ron slumped gracelessly on the battered red sofa a few feet behind Ed, sighing mournfully at the 'ridiculous' amount of homework he would surely receive the next day.

There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes - though that may have just been because Ron was too lazy to interrupt it - and it was relished by the room's four occupants. Harry was studying for the Potions test they had the next day at the desk table in the corner of the room closest to the fireplace, whereas Hermione was hovering discreetly around Ed, obviously dying to ask him a question.

"What?" Ed deadpanned, catching the hint.

"Oh! Well, I was just wondering what you were reading. It doesn't look like an ordinary novel..." Hermione trailed off, prompting Ed to explain.

Ron rolled his eyes and looked at Harry, who smirked. Of course she would be interested.

Ed carried on reading, but roughly lifted the book so that Hermione could get a decent view of the cover as she bent around to see it.

Her eyes widened. "'Advanced Arithmancy'...?"

Ron blinked in awe. Who in their right goddamn minds actually studied that stuff willingly?

Hermione's face lit up after a few moments. "How far have you got through it? What do you think of it?"

"The numbers are fine - it's the 'magical' element part that's shit."

"Really? It's one of my favourite subjects. Even if you don't believe in the magical qualities, at least Arithmancy is better than Divination."

Ed crumpled his face up, and obvious sign of agreement. "I guess so. And the theory behind it is rather interesting, I must admit."

Hermione seemed to be barely containing her joy. Not only had she found someone who cherished studying as much as she did, but he was also interested in Arithmancy, a subject most people thought boring and difficult!

"How can you understand that? I don't get a bloody word of it."

Harry rolled his eyes. "That's because you don't attend the classes."

"Neither do you!"

"But at least I was smart enough to figure out what 'transfiguration' meant."

"Shut up!"

Everyone (except Ron, of course) burst out in raucous laughter, Ed included, to his surprise. It was a huge relief; Ed had barely even cracked a smile since he'd arrived. Being able to enjoy himself, if only for a few minutes, lifted a good deal of the ten-ton weight on his narrow shoulders.

Ed turned back to his book. It really was genuinely rather interesting, actually, despite the lack of scientific accuracy, and Ed found himself easily engulfed in it. He sighed. This at least had numbers and scientific - just barely - theorems to it - whereas Divination was a whole other story. For some reason that he just could not comprehend, there were witches and wizards out there who believed Divination was real. Sure, magic existed, but magic and fortune-telling were two completely different things. Ed chuckled wearily. These wizards, he mused. I'll never understand them.

By the time Ed's train of thought had ceased flowing and his mind had returned to its natural blank state, the common room was more crowded that Ed could have considered possible. Though, Ed noted with a certain smugness, everyone had tried their very best to give him as wide a berth as they could manage. He smirked. Looks like my little conversation with Malfoy has them all scared shitless. Well, he thought after a minute's consideration, I'll give Ron and his bunch credit for actually sticking around me after that. Not many people have the guts to, even in the military.

Ed glanced up slowly, staring long and hard at the shimmering flames licking at the soot as if it was sherbet. It almost seemed to be dancing - like some foreign dance you might see at a party in a prince's palace. It was dangerous and the fireplace itself was rather filthy, but it sort of gave a homey feeling, as if it was welcoming you to jump right in so it could devour you whole. Rather like Mustang, Ed thought. A thoughtful smile played at the corners of his lips as he realised the absurdity of his situation. I think I might be going as crazy as these nut jobs. To think I'm actually beginning to miss the bastard. Ed sighed in defeat, attracting a few curious (or in some cases, infatuated) glances from around the open room.

To Ed's surprise, despite being crowded, the Gryffindor common room was actually fairly quiet. The dull hum of friendly voices and muffled laughter was like a lullaby to the boy who survived on four hours' sleep a night and lived off coffee (to his fury, it turned out that these wizards knew nothing of the life-saving brew), and before he knew it he was falling sideways onto the warm, red rug.

Aww! :3 Yay, first proper chapter up. How was it? More responses = quicker update, remember. ;)

I managed to just get past the 3000-word mark on this one (if you don't include the 800-word author's notes), and I was quite pleased. I try to keep my chapters long but not too long, y'know?

Luna will arrive in the next chapter, I promise! :) The next chapter's less action-packed and more explanatory - after all, we still don't know why on earth Ed's there in the first place! (To be honest, neither do I.)