I do not own this laptop, this story, or this penname, but nonetheless, this chapter is mine.

Chapter 3: Hello, my name is Pennyworth.

It just so happens that my nerdy roommate is out right now, so I've decided to rewrite a chapter of his stupid geek-fiction while he's off drinking.

"Ah, gawd! There's people on fire!" shouted Harry.

"How unsanitary!" bleated Draco.

"What's going on?" Seamus asked sleepily.

"Death eaters!" Shaina shouted over the loud bangs.

"Death whats?" asked Harry. "Is that some kind of gay thing?"

"Have you been living in a cupboard for the last twenty years? They're Lord Voldemort's loyal subjects!" Malfoy said condescendingly. "And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some autographs."

About here Arc starts ranting about one of his stupid philosophical ideals. I'm gonna skip it, just to piss you off, Arc.

The twerp with glasses ducked outside, closely followed by his cronies. They got to the woods and blah-di-blah-di-blah- You know the story. There was some puns and one or two cheap jokes and changes in the text, but that's all. Then they were all on the way back to Seamus's house, but 'cause I don't really care about that, they're going to the Weasley house instead.

"Funny how the death eaters left when the dark mark went up," commented Ron.

"Yeah, I just wish I understood why," sighed Harry, "Anyways, thanks, Ron. I get the feeling that Seamus wanted an opportunity to contact his parents and tell them that the two of them were all right."

"No prob. It's too bad that Hermione didn't want to come too."

"Yeah. Of course I don't blame her. Draco is so rich and powerful that anyone would be in love with him! Even I, Harry Potter, can attest to that!"

"But Draco Malfoy belongs to a family of death eaters. There's no getting around that," Bill pointed out.

"I don't- nor do I think anyone else does- care about that. He is just so incredibly awesome. If I was Hermione, I'd get married to him right now."

"Then why don't you, if you're so in love with him?" Ron groaned.

"I respect that he loves her and won't get in the way of his love. If he doesn't want me, I won't get in his way."

"Jeez, you're so fucking gay!" Ron laughed

Shoot! Arc just got back. Gotta upload this quick. Suck it, pretty boy!