So I guess I updated. Maybe.

OKAY GUISE PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. I know I haven't updated since last April (16 months, ouch) but here is another chapter!

You can expect regular updates from this story from now on.

Disclaimer~

Chapter Ten - Don't Mess With Elric

"Mmph!"

The trio looked over in alarm as Ed began to violently cough up his pumpkin juice, gaping wide-eyed at the roll of paper he clutched in his flesh hand.

"Uh... Are you all right?" Harry asked cautiously.

Ed could be seen nodding dismissively as his golden eyes once again skimmed the parchment currently held in shaking fingers.

"What's it say?" Ron inquired after a moment's silence.

Harry swore he could see a blush on the boy's face, though that might've just been the temperature of the Great Hall.

Ed shook his head. "Nothing much," he mumbled, dipping his head to inspect the letter further.

Hermione exchanged a disbelieving look with Harry from across the table, though neither spoke anything of it.

"Do any of you have a pen?" Ed asked suddenly.

"Uh..." Harry rummaged around in his pocket. "Here."

Ed took the proffered quill with a grimace, though didn't object to the magical item. He quickly shoved his breakfast plate out of the way to make room for the letter and flipped the paper over as he began to write in his trademark illegible scrawl.

Stupid bastard, he thought. What right does he have to ask me if I got a Valentine? He doesn't even know what Valentine's Day is. Why should it matter to him?

Bastard,

Why is it any of your business? Though I bet if you were here you'd get less chocolate than I did. 'Cause I got loads. Ha.

No new info on the stupid mission.

Ed signed his name with a flourish, folding the paper back up and proceeding to wave it about in the air for his owl to collect. Luckily, his owl was just as lazy as the man who assigned it to him, and it was still in the room. It swooped down slightly less than gracefully and was out of the hall in a few minutes.

Just as Ed had finally started his breakfast, a lanky Ravenclaw girl approached him. "U-um..."

Ed sighed irritably, before turning to her and snapping, "What?"

The girl recoiled from the offensive tone, but wasn't discouraged. "T-there's a rumour going around..."

Ed rolled his eyes.

"... That you and L-Luna Lovegood are dating, and I was just w-wondering if-"

"No," Ed cut in, surprisingly calm, and turned back to his long-awaited food. "We're not."

There was a brief pause, before: "Oh."

She shuffled away, and Ed had to give her some credit. I mean, not many people here were brave enough to approach him and ask him a question like that.

"You're..." Ron murmured after a few minutes, "really not going out?"

Ed shook his head. "We're just friends."

Hermione subtly raised her eyebrows behind a thick burgundy tome layered with dust.

However, Ed's feline eyes were sharp and well-trained from years in the military, and he immediately honed in on her like a predator to its prey. "What?" he spat at her, quite a lot more aggressively than he'd intended. He flushed slightly in embarrassment when he realised this, though ignored it.

"Nothing," the bushy-haired girl protested, "I didn't say anything."

Ed grunted, not wishing to either carry on the discussion or apologise for his unreasonably foul mood. He decided it was becoming increasingly difficult to be sociable right about now, and so he proceeded to stomp off to the common room for a little down-time before he had to face the dreaded detention with Umbridge.

"Ow... Jesus, that woman is fucking insane," Ed grumbled to himself as he wandered down the deserted corridors rubbing his left hand protectively. "She even made me write with my left hand..." He glared around him at the paintings, as if daring them to object to his obviously right opinion of the world. "She should be fired and... Hm, maybe I should mention this to that bastard Colonel in my next report. Perhaps he could spare a soldier or two to give her a taste of her own medicine..." Ed grinned evilly, the plan forming in his mind temporarily distracting him from the cuts slowly scabbing over on his hand.

"Hey there, shorty."

Ed's blood was boiling even before he spotted the offensively blond head a few metres away.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Ed growled. Before Malfoy's malicious reply had a chance to slither off his forked tongue, Ed snarled, "I warn you, if you're here to piss me off, now is not a good time, so be prepared for another hospital stay, Malfoy."

"Ooh," he mocked in reply, smirking. "I'm so scared."

Ed continued walking, gritting his teeth in irritation.

"How are your detentions going, Elric? Still managing to piss off everyone you meet?"

There was no reply from the young alchemist. His boots fell faster on the concrete.

"You know, I have yet to find a single decent person who actually likes you. Granger's a nerd, Weasley's an idiot, Potter's a loner and Loony Lovegood is just plain crazy. You know, I bet even your own parents hated y-"

Ed would later claim that his automail simply malfunctioned when it came into forceful contact with Malfoy's jaw.

"Listen, you motherfucking bastard," Ed snarled as he shoved Malfoy's limp form against the stone wall. "I don't care what the fuck you have to say about anything about my fucking life. Luna is my business, my friends are my business and my parents are my fucking business. Now I'd appreciate it if you'd stay the fuck out of my life and stop spreading rumours or I'll make sure you won't have a tongue to spread them."

Ed let go of the Slytherin's crumpled collar, dropping the petrified teen on the floor without a care and strode off furiously before anyone had a chance to spot him at the scene of the crime.

There was a loud eruption of laughter from ahead of the blonde, causing him to glance up irritably, brows still furrowed in murderous fury from the earlier Malfoy incident. He was a little surprised to see the disruptive noise had originated within his own friends - Harry, Ron, Hermione and... Wait, who was that?

Sharp eyes narrowed in curiosity, Ed's strides grew longer in an attempt to catch up with the ambling teens. Upon closer inspection, the fouth member of the party appeared to be female, judging from the long, shimmering fiery hair spilling down her back (although, Ed added as a mental afterthought, her hair is shorter than mine, so...). She was also rather short, so perhaps she was a little younger, too.

"Hey Ed, where were you during lunch?" Ron asked through a mouthful of toast as he caught sight of the alchemist.

All four students halted and turned, though they seemed to have now gotten pretty used to Ed's frequent and mysterious disappearances and sudden reappearances at the oddest times.

Ed shrugged, muttering coarsely, "Detention with that fucker Umbridge."

Ron snorted. "Did you have fun?"

The glare Ron received in reponse almost sent him to the hospital ward, and Harry, alarmed, quickly reached out to steady the redhead as he swayed on his feet.

The five continued down the corridor, though there was now a heavy tint to the atmosphere.

Ed had never much liked awkward silences.

"Who's she?" he asked brusquely, gesturing an automail thumb at the somewhat startled girl.

"Oh, sorry, it seems we forgot to introduce you two," Hermione replied, somewhat thoughtful. "Ed, this is Ginny Weasley. Ginny, this is Edward Elric, the new transfer student."

Ed's head snapped around to face her. "Weasley? Isn't that-"

Ginny spoke up for the first time, her voice surprisingly smooth and clarion. "I'm Ron's younger sister." She added a cute giggle at the end for effect. "It's nice to finally meet you; Ron's told me an awful lot about you."

Ed raised an amused eyebrow at the taller boy, who shrunk bashfully away from the conversation, clearly highly embarrassed. "H-hey, Ginny-"

The young girl's laugh was shrill and bell-like, and quite contagious. Before they knew it, the entire group's giggles and chuckles were reverberating off the high, ornamented ceilings behind them as they breezed down the cold, stone corridor towards Potions.

"Today, class, you will be making Polyjuice Potion," Snape drawled from behind his desk. "I assume you all have the brains to know how this works by now - you collect the ingredients from the front, the textbooks from the back and work silently and on your own. Are we clear?"

There was a reluctant murmur of "Yes, sir," around the intimidating dungeon and with an affirming nod from the black-haired wizard, all students began scrambling for the best quality ingredients.

Ed was somehow immune to it, however, and settled for everyone's leftovers after it had quietened down.

He relaxed at the back of the classroom for a few minutes, grinning at the amusing arguments between students about how the potions were supposed to look and whether their potions were smelling toxic or not.

As he strolled lazily towards the front to gather ingredients, another porcelain hand had reached out for the same pouch of herbs. Both owners of the hands looked up simultaneously, and Ed suddenly found himself once again face-to-face with his arch nemesis.

"Hey, Draco, how're you doing?" he asked conversationally, relishing the way the boy turned sheet white at the sight of him. When there didn't look like there was going to be an answer anytime soon, he grinned maliciously and murmured in a friendly tone, "How about you let me have these ingredients, huh? You can go ask the Snape-meister over there for some more."

Ed's glare was met - and possibly beaten - by the sheer hatred and putrid fury in those venomous steel-blue eyes, but after a brief pause, Draco (rather uncharacteristically) backed down.

He was followed by a multitude of awed eyes as he stalked towards his favourite teacher.

Particularly curious as to how he managed such a feat were Harry, Ron and Hermione; but the most suspicious of all was undoubtedly Snape himself.

"Elric," Snape spat venomously at the short alchemist. "You're late yet again for your detention."

Ed simply shrugged in response; he really didn't care what this infuriating idiot had to say. Geez, at least I'm actually turning up.

"Sit."

Ed turned to face the greasy-haired man in surprise. His back straightened automatically at the commanding tone of voice and his mismatched arms fell stiffly by his sides. Snape arched a thick black eyebrow at the unconscious movement, though thankfully didn't pursue it.

"I said sit down, Elric." Snape gestured impatiently at the battered wooden chair hastily pulled up in front of the worn desk.

Ed complied willingly enough; after all, talking to the bastard couldn't be half as bad as some of the things he'd been made to do in these detentions. "What?"

Snape looked dangerously like he was about to throttle Ed on the spot for his outrageously uncouth attitude, but restrained himself as he snarled mutely at the teen, "Today, I will be gracious and will not force you to do any unpleasant activities."

Ed's eyes narrowed. Surely it couldn't be as easy as that?

"However..." Snape drawled, and Ed gritted his teeth in annoyance. Yes, there was always a catch. "You will need to answer just one question. If I suspect you are not telling the truth, I will simply force you to swallow Veritaserum, so I advise you to not attempt to lie to me, Elric."

Ed nodded grudgingly. "Shoot."

It was Snape's turn to narrow his eyes. "Okay, Elric," he sneered, "Can you explain to me why Draco Malfoy approached me during our Potions lesson today sheet-white and quaking in his boots, shortly after exchanging a few brief words with you?"

A blonde eyebrow rose in surprise. Is he honestly asking me that? He couldn't have used his free pass to ask me something more... important? "Yeah," Ed huffed nonchalantly, brushing a stray hair out of his vision. "I punched him."

Snape sighed irritably. "We all know that, Elric. I was there, if you'd forgotten. As was most of the student population. Tell me the real reason."

Ed snorted in amusement and mild disbelief. This man is beyond me. "I'd be happy to supply you with the real reason, which happens to be that I punched him."

"Again?" Snape inquired, his tone of voice carefully neutral.

"Yep. Just this afternoon, actually. It was the first time we'd run into each other since then, so I'm not surprised he acted that way."

There was a extended silence between them as Snape considered this - Well actually, I have no fucking clue what he's thinking, that mysterious bastard - and just as Ed was beginning to fidget with boredom, the black-haired man shooed him out of his office irritably.

"Leave, Elric. You're dismissed."

"Yes, sir," Ed called, throwing a mock salute over his shoulder as he sauntered out. But before he reached the door, he inhaled sharply as he realised his mistake. I am not in Central Headquarters. I do not address the teachers as 'sir' here and I most definitely do not salute to them!

He stiffly glanced over an automail shoulder, but Snape's behaviour did not seem like that of a suspicious man, as he was quickly burying himself in papers (God he looks so like Mustang right now) and muttering curses under his breath.

Ed quickly leapt out of the room and sprinted down the stone corridor towards the Gryffindor dorms, his heart still pounding in his ears from adrenaline and panic. He took a good few deep breaths, not slowing an inch as he rounded another corner.

Damn, that was close.

"And so, as you might have already noticed, twenty-six years later in 1256, the Great Wizard Algernon..." The ghost of a teacher droned on and on, and within the first ten minutes not a single student was listening (as per usual for History of Magic classes). Ed himself was teetering on the brink of sleep, its dark, translucent hands beckoning him and whispering silent encouragements from just outside of himself, and just as his eyelids slipped closed under the heavy weight of fatigue, a note noisily dropped itself on his desk.

Ed grumbled a few harsh profanities under his breath, before untangling his loose hair from his arms, hissing when a few strands caught in the joints of his automail.

After he'd finally managed to disentangle himself, he reached cautiously for the folded paper note, opening it with thumb and forefinger as if it was poisonous. He pulled a nasty face when he noticed the moving sketch. It's just not natural, for drawings to move like that.

However, he entirely forgot his disgust at the magical item when he noticed what, exactly, the drawing portrayed; in fact, he forgot everything else in that moment, squinting at the obnoxious lack of drawing talent as if it had grown a second head (although knowing these wizards and their magical ways, he wouldn't have been surprised if it had).

Because on that crumpled parchment was an untidy scrawl of a black-clad blonde (who he assumed was himself) and a a certain white-blonde Ravenclaw kissing.

Ron's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. "Another one?" he squeaked.

The alchemist nodded wearily, hands, as always, slipped casually into his leather pockets.

"Well..." Ron laughed breathlessly. "I mean, you two do hang around together an awful lot, but you spend just as much time with 'Mione, and no one's so much as blinked at that..." He shrugged. "I guess it's cause it's just so strange that someone would willingly spend that much time with Loony Lovegood."

The brunette slapped him - hard - on the left shoulder, and Ron cringed in pain. "'Mione! What was that for?"

"Don't be rude," she replied somewhat snootily. "Luna is a person like the rest of us. She's just a little..."

"Bonkers?" Ron suggested not-so-helpfully. He earned himself another painful whack.

"No, Ronald. She's just different, that's all. And maybe it's because Ed is also rather different that they apparently get along quite well." She shot Ed what he supposed was meant to be a sympathetic glance. "One shouldn't be condemned to a friend-less life of teasing simply because they don't fit into the social norm."

"Speaking from experience, I imag-ow ow ow ow okay I get it, 'Mione, please stop hitting me."

Ed hummed in quiet thought as he wandered along beside his (irritatingly tall) new friends. He'd tuned out the heated discussion quite a while ago, and was currently in the midst of comparing and analysing the possible circles that could be used to aid a magical time-travel.

Just at the moment where Ed thought he might have a miniscule hint as to what the hell it might include, one of said tall friends (Ed refused to acknowledge the fact that the black-haired teen was in fact average height) cast him an inquiring look before cautiously verbalising his curiosity. "What are you thinking about?"

A glance was shot at the emerald-eyed boy to his right. Ed and Harry had both been lost in their own thoughts as Ron and Hermione had continued to argue and had found themselves drifting along behind, separated from the others.

"Nothing much."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, those frown lines really look like nothing much, Ed."

Ed looked taken aback. "What frown lines? I don't have frown lines! I'm only eigh-" he abruptly cut himself off with a stutter. "F-fifteen..."

The atmosphere between the two boys had suddenly become thick and heavy, and Ed resisted a shiver at the sudden drop in temperature.

"You may be short," Harry murmured quietly (ignoring the deep growl from his left), after a pause that was simply too long to be safe, "but I would have thought you'd be far too tall to be eight years old, Ed."

Ed retained a stiff silence.

"That's what you were going to say, right?" Harry continued in a low voice, each syllable sprouting in his throat and ever so slowly growing growing growing out past his lips and into the chilly air beyond. That goddamn intelligent tone of voice had Ed in a mental panic - Ohgoddoesheknow - because he could hear it in his voice, even if Harry's expression remained carefully blank and unseeing, staring ahead of him.

"That's what you were going to say," he murmured, "because I know for a fact you definitely weren't going to say 'eighteen'." His hard, stony gaze captured Ed's and suddenly the alchemist remembered that it was impossible to make it out of as many life-or-death situations as Harry had without having a fucking good brain.

"That's not..." Ed muttered, only the waver in his voice giving away his present state of oh shit oh shit oh shit.

Out of the blue, Harry firmly took Ed's automail shoulder in his hand, preventing Ed from leaving and continuing his way to class. The wizard's grip was so hard that Ed would have to inflict pain on him in order to get out of his hold. Ed did not want to be forced into that situation - Harry was his friend - but by God he would hit him if he had to.

"I want an explanation, Ed."