GLINDA: We met at school, but you must understand, it was a long time ago and we were both very young…
OZIAN N.3: Yeah, because now you're old. Need help walking granny? *sarcastically*
OZIAN GIRL: *hits him with the bottle of water…again.*
SHIZ STUDENTS: *enter and start singing 'Mary had a Little Lamb'*
GALINDA: What about 'Dear Old Shiz'?
SHIZ STUDENT: We don't know the words yet.
GALINDA: Stupid plebeians…
FREX: *enters with Elphaba with an angry face*
EVERYONE: *whispers and gasps*
GALINDA: What's up Frexie? *walks next to him*
FREX: I'll get mad at the ozians because with their stupidity they cut my part off. It was my only song! And also Melena and the midwife will protest for this!
MIDWIFE: Yeah. *comes in with her hands plenty of blood*
GALINDA: *bawls and runs among the Shiz students*
MIDWIFE: *laughs* Don't worry dear, it's my job.
GALINDA: So, you see, it couldn't have been easy *stares at Elphaba*. You are green! LOL!
ELPHABA: Oh, I see you're not blind. *smiles sarcastically*
GALINDA: *goes next to Elphaba and smells her*
ELPHABA: Are you a girl or a Dog? *pushes away*
GALINDA: You don't have a good smell. *pinches her nose with a naseous face*
ELPHABA: Yes… a stupid guy threw me in the rubbish…
GALINDA: *looks for something in her purse and a napking falls on the ground*
ELPHABA: What are you-
GALINDA: *pulls out a bottle of pink strawberry perfume and starts spraying it*
ELPHABA: *coughs*
AUTHORESS 1: Where did you find it?
GALINDA: Next to the mirrors!
AUTHORESS 1: It's mine, ah!
GALINDA: Not true *pouts*
AUTHORESS 1: Yes, I got it for my B-day!
GALINDA: But now it's mine!
AUTHORESS 1: *sighs*
GALINDA: *picks the thing she dropped off* Elphaba, your legs aren't green!
ELPHABA: What? *stares* You are right.
GELPHIE SHIPPERS: You were staring at her legs? *fangirlize*
GALINDA: I bent to pick the napkin and saw them *pouts*
AUTHORESS 1: Ahem, someone's missing.
BOQ: Who?
PFANNEE AND SHENSHEN: We are heeere. *wave*
AUTHORESS 1: I wasn't talking about you!
PFANNEE AND SHENSHEN: *sob*
AUTHORESS 1: Frex, you had wheel Nessa in while walking, do something!
FREX: *mumbles words to himself and comes back with Nessa*
NESSA: *sees Boq and smiles mischievously at him*
BOQ: *is scared*
FIYERO: Where's the party? *enters shirtless wearing a pair of sunglasses*
FIYERO'S FANS: *scream and faint*
FIYERO: *smirks*
AUTHORESS 2: Very nice, but you're not in this scene.
FIYERO: Okay. *sends a kiss to Galinda and goes backstage*
BOQ: *is jealous*
MME MORRIBLE: *enters*
GALINDA: Eeeew, who are you?
MME MORRIBLE: I'm Madame Morrible and I'm an alcohol-addicted.
ALL: Hi Madame Morrible.
MME MORRIBLE: Today are two months I don't drink alcoholics.
ELPHABA: Good job!
MME MORRIBLE: Thanks *smiles and pulls out a bottle of whisky* And now let's celebrate *she drinks all the bottle in few seconds*
GALINDA: *bawls*
ELPHABA AND EVERYONE ELSE: *are scared and gasp*
MME MORRIBLE: *passes the sleeve of her dress on her mouth*
COSTUMER: You are paying for it!
FREX: A present… for you, my dear daughter. *gives Nessa ruby slippers*
NESSA: Jewelled shoes! *kisses them weirdly*
GALINDA: *stares and mumbles* I want them.
ELPHABA: *clears troath*
FREX: *stares at her blankly, then remembers* Oh, and this is for you. *hands her a little box*
ELPHABA: Fo-for me? You shouldn't have- *opens the present and finds in it a piece of paper*
FREX: *runs away*
GALINDA: What does it say?
ELPHABA: Hush, pink bubbly blonde.
GALINDA: Artichoke!
ELPHABA: *reads out loud* Dear Elphaba, I'm gay. Love, Your Father.
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: I told you!
ELPHABA: *shakes head and tears it into pieces throwing them on the ground*
EFFIE TRINKET: Manners!
MME MORRIBLE: Well, for the assignment of the rooms I'll let you choose by yourself.
AUTHORESS 1: Hem, did you read the script?
MME MORRIBLE: *laughs* That's funny I can't read!
AUTHORESS 1: Well, it says you make Elphaba and Galinda room together and you take Nessa with you.
MME MORRIBLE: *still laughing* Okay! So you *points at Elphaba*, green pear, room with the blonde bubbly pink girl *points at Galinda*.
GALINDA: What do you all have against blondes? *cries*
MME MORRIBLE: And you, honey, *points Nessa* will stay with me.
LIVE IN MY ROOM, I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND… BE MY BABY, AND I'LL COVER YOOOOOU.
NESSA: Gross! *screams* And you have a terrible voice, too.
MME MORRIBLE: *takes the control of the wheelchair*
ELPHABA: Let the disable girl go! *uses magic to lead the chair back to her*
GALINDA: How did she do that?
MME MORRIBLE: How did she do that?
BOQ: How did she do that?
FIYERO: *from backstage* How did she do that?
ELPHABA: How did I do that?
GALINDA: *pokerface*
NESSA: Asdfervnktfrgtvj.
MME MORRIBLE: *to Elphaba* Never apologize for talent!
ELPHABA: I didn't apologize for-
MME MORRIBLE: Oh, Miss Elphaba… *sings her part of the song*
GALINDA: I want to be in you seminary!
MME MORRIBLE: You can't. It's a club for nerdy people, and you're not.
ELPHABA: Hey!
MME MORRIBLE: *exits*
EVERYONE: *follows her*
ELPHABA: *has a weird expression on her face* DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
VOICE FROM BACKSTAGE: No, it didn't.
AUTHORESS 2: Silence!
ELPHABA: THE WIZARD AND…
*suspense*
ELPHABA: *goes offstage*
AUTHORESSES: *exchange wondering glances*
ELPHABA: *comes back* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIII *dances* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *kneels with opened arms* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
GALINDA: *throws a book at Elphaba*
ELPHABA: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *collapses*