A/N: After this chapter it might seem like the end, but I promise you that this isn't the end to the story.

Special thanks to Westie80, Twilightangell, Sophia0665, AWChic and jenny crum!

I don't own criminal minds!

Chapter 31: Don't wait

Hotch could see that JJ was shaking. Fear and horror had replaced the joy he had seen earlier and he couldn't help but feel guilty about the entire situation. He was mentally kicking himself. ''JJ, I need you to put the gun down!'' Hotch ordered, his voice soft and tender. He didn't want to scare her.

JJ didn't know what to do. Her heart was torn. Revenge seemed like the right thing. She thought it would set her free. ''I can't. I can't.'' she cried out, her chest heaving from the panic.

''Just kill me! Get it over with.'' Steven dared. ''You can do it. Show the big man over there what you're truly capable of.''

JJ pushed the gun against his head again. She was one movement away from pulling the trigger and she wondered what was stopping her. ''I hate you!''

''Don't look at him, JJ. Look at me.'' Hotch whispered. ''He doesn't deserve a moment of your time. He never did. Don't give him the satisfaction now.''

''You can't do this, JJ!'' Hotch went on. ''This isn't you. If you kill him he will get off easy. He deserves to go to prison. Justice needs to be serves. But if you pull that trigger you're the one going to prison.'' he said. ''And taking a life will tear you apart.''

''I have nothing left to live for. Nothing.'' she cried out.

''That's not true, JJ. You have me. You have the team. You're not alone and you never will be. You know that.'' he contradicted. ''This isn't the solution to your problem.''

Hotch took a step forward. ''You have me.'' he whispered, taking another step forward. ''I'm here for you. I always will be.''

''It's not enough.''

''Yes, it is.'' Hotch contradicted affectionately, noticing that she starting to focus on him instead of Hicks. ''Put the gun down for me, JJ. Do it for me.''

''Why?''

''Because I love you.'' he said lovingly. ''I love you JJ and I can't lose you. Not to him. If you make this choice I'll lose you forever and I can't stand that.''

JJ was lowering the gun when Hotch saw that Hicks was starting to move. ''Stay where you are!'' Hotch warned.

''Kill me, little girl!'' he smirked. ''You know you won't get rid of me until I am dead. It's your only option.''

JJ felt the cold metal in her hand and she finally realized what she had been doing. It wasn't her. She couldn't become another killer. Not ever. She wasn't a bad person like the man in front of her. ''I already have.'' she whispered, dropping the gun to the floor.

Hotch was glad that she gave in but he saw that Hicks leaped forward to take the gun. Hotch immediately drew his own gun and pushed JJ behind him. ''Drop it, Hicks!'' he ordered. ''Drop it now!''

''Kill me!''

''Don't make me!'' Hotch yelled with authority. ''Because I can do it if the circumstances force me to make the decision.''

JJ was shaking as she stood behind Hotch. She knew Hotch would kill him if it came down to it. But she didn't want him to do it for her. ''Aaron, don't do it.'' JJ whispered. She was about to say another word when the doors suddenly opened and the team came rushing inside. JJ felt the shock hit her instantly but when she saw the familiar faces, she felt safer again.

''FBI! Drop the gun now!'' Morgan yelled as he stood next to Hotch. Luckily Hotch had called the team when he realized where JJ was going by tracking the GPS on the FBI issued vehicle.

As the standoff went on, Emily ran towards JJ and dragged her out of the building. She stopped once they reached the cars and she turned to her to check if she wasn't hurt. ''JJ, are you alright?''

Everything around JJ was a haze. She could barely hear Emily's voice as she registered what was happening. Steven Hicks was finally caught. He was going to prison without a doubt. ''I'm good.'' she whispered.

''What were you thinking?'' Emily asked.

''I don't know, Emily.'' JJ replied in annoyance. ''And I am not about to justify my decisions to you. I'm sorry but that's just how I feel.''

Emily watched in surprise as JJ disappeared into one of the SUV's without saying another word. She was about to head back inside when she saw the team coming outside with an arrested Steven Hicks.

''Where's JJ?'' Hotch asked as he rushed to Emily when he didn't see JJ.

''She's in the car.''

''Good,'' he sighed out.

Morgan joined in. ''We'll take him back to Quantico. I'll call the DA so they can finally file charges against him.'' he announced.

''Thanks, Derek.'' Hotch said before Morgan went back to one of the cars.

''I'll take JJ home. I'll see you all tomorrow.'' Hotch said before he made his way back to his car. He saw JJ sitting in the back and he decided to let her be for the moment. It had been a rough couple of hours and he wanted to give her some privacy.

The ride home was filled with silence and Hotch was wondering how JJ was feeling. But no word had come from her side so he thought it would be best to leave her alone. Once they reached his apartment they went back inside. Hotch went into the kitchen to get something to drink as JJ went back to her room.

JJ immediately grabbed a bag and started to pack her stuff. She knew what she needed to do. She needed to get better before she could start a real life with Hotch and she knew he deserved better than her at the moment. So she was leaving. Again. But it felt like the right thing to do for everyone who was involved.

JJ stepped into the living room with her packed bag and she spotted Hotch sitting on the couch with a bottle of water. He looked exhausted and she knew it was because of her. ''Aaron.'' she called out softly. He turned around and looked at her with astonishment. ''We need to talk.''

He quickly rose from the couch and stepped in front of her while his eyes stayed on her packed bag. ''What is this?'' he croaked out.

JJ leaned forward and kissed him passionately. She felt him deepen the kiss and she got lost in his touch. Their kiss was heated and filled with desire. She pulled away to catch her breath. ''What happened between us was absolutely amazing and I don't regret it. I never will but…'' she stumbled and she at a loss of words.

''But?''

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. ''Every time someone asks me how I am, I respond by saying that everything is fine. But when I turn around I realize that everything is wrong, Aaron.''

''You'll get better with time.''

JJ shook her head. ''I can't ask you to do this for me. You have Jack and your job. I'm not going to take that away from you.''

''You're it, JJ.'' he said with pain in his voice. ''You've always been.''

''Aaron, please don't!'' she begged as a tear finally escaped her eye.

Hotch took another step forward to close the distance. He knew exactly what she was doing. She was ending things. She was saying goodbye. ''This is it, isn't it?''

''I love you, Aaron!'' she croaked out, barely holding on to her emotions. ''You've always been my best friend and you deserve the best in life.'' she cried out. ''But I can't give you that. I can't give you what you deserve and what you need.''

''We can try, JJ.'' he said sadly. ''We can try.''

''I can't change who I am.'' she began. ''You deserve the best and that's not me. Maybe in a few years I'll be ready but right now I am not.''

''If this is the end, we can't go back from this.'' he whispered as he cupped her face gently and pulled her closer. He held her tightly, trying to remember the feeling of having her in his arms.

''Just don't wait for me.'' she whispered before she pulled away. She took the bag from the ground and walked towards him once more and leaned in for a kiss. ''Don't wait for me.''

''I can't say that.'' he said as he let go of her. She disappeared from his apartment and he had no idea when he would ever see her again.

As JJ walked away from the love of her life, she knew it was the right choice. She was staying true to who she was. She couldn't ask him to give up his life for her. She never would.