Death of love
In Konoha people began to worry about Jiraya's absence more than a week later.
He had always gone wherever he wanted without saying a word – without warning nor news.
The strange thing was that guy that quite anyone saw talking with him – Itachi hadn't worried at all about being seen, being he not in his personal appearance.
Naruto thought a lot about it. He had practically never seen Itachi – how could he recognize him?
It was Kakashi to get it, in the end.
That signs under his eyes – of course…
Then, Itachi had talked with Jiraya and then they both had left.
So? What happened, in truth?
They couldn't know.
There wasn't a single chance in hell to know it, as long as things went on like this.
Naruto blamed Tsunade.
"You always let him go and do whatever he wants! Don't you have some kind of relationship with him?
Is it possible you never know what he's down to-"
"RELATIONSHIP?" sprang up violently Tsunade.
"Hey, hey, CALM DOWN – I meant as – friendship!
Like me and Sasuke, you know!"
Kakashi cleared his throat saying "Ehr…" with a stupid, giggling smile.
Naruto fired him a killer glance, gaping, and didn't say a thing to him, going on with Tsunade:
"Of course I know he's not your husband!
But you are the Hokage, you can't simply let him go wherever the fuck he wants!
He's okay, I know he's not stupid nor helpless, but –"
Kakashi interrupted him to say, calmly, as he was commenting:
"And then, Itachi.
This must never happen again, Tsunade…this is fault of – the previous administration, I know, and there must be a reason why Itachi's chakra isn't listed in the alarming ones.
This has to be fixed now, you know what I mean.
Entering Konoha's barrier that way, as the same Orochimaru did, without being noticed.
Okay he isn't as dangerous as Orochimaru – he hasn't killed hundreds of people just to study their bodies" Naruto shivered "but Itachi still has slaughtered all the police clan – his family, I mean.
Itachi and Orochimaru – and, I'm sorry, Sasuke – must be put on that list."
"Why Sasuke…?" asked Naruto, puzzled.
"Because" answered Kakashi "he's with Orochimaru now. Isn't it obvious?"
Tsunade intervened:
"Okay, okay, okay everything. Now don't be afraid about it, Naruto. The only thing we can do is waiting."
"Still I think that you should-"
"DON'T act like you could give me a remark, CHILD" said Tsunade angrily "He himself isn't a child no more, fuck it, I couldn't tell him 'boy don't get into trouble!"
Kakashi tried to calm her down by distraction:
"Yeah, listen, Tsunade.
All we know about Itachi is that we didn't even know he was still alive before this appearance of his?"
"Exactly.
I think Jiraya knew something – he's always around gathering information.
As for what you said – I think Itachi AND Orochimaru weren't on the Nukenin-Alarm list because they were still both working for some Anbu kingpin, if not for the Anbus per se – if not for that motherfucking Danzou."
She paused looking Naruto. "I never said that, boy, 'sit clear?"
"Of course, sir…" giggled Naruto, wondering about 'who the fuck was this Danzou and – ANBUS? Orochimaru was in Anbus?'
The conversation ended here, Tsunade licensed them all.
After three weeks they still didn't know a thing, nor about Itachi, nor about Jiraya.
Naruto began to feel fear.
This was too strange – c'mon, cross data: ITACHI, JIRAYA, gone somewhere WITH HIM.
Orochimaru.
Jiraya had told Naruto, during their two years journey, that Orochimaru was his teammate.
Itachi wanted to go against Orochimaru?
So – FUCK IT – Sasuke was involved.
Naruto tried to convince Tsunade to send him, to look for Jiraya.
Tsunade repeated continuously "No, no, no, no."
Then she explained:
"Naruto – you know who Itachi is, something's going wrong.
Then there's also Orochimaru – I already wronged, in your opinion, in letting Jiraya go – WHEN I NEITHER KNEW HE WAS GOING!
Wherever he's gone, he isn't come back yet.
And still you have to comprehend the fact that Jiraya has always done it – even with you, even if you don't remember it.
And first of all he's always done it with me.
So no – you won't go.
Besides, I need you here around – there's a certain place you must go with Kakashi and Sakura, then the other guy I have to introduce you NOW – come in, dear".
A guy walked in – Naruto suddenly burst out laughing, pointing at his shirt.
In fact it was rather odd – girly. It was so short that it left out his entire chest, from stomach to belly.
The guy, though, smiled to him – "There is a reason why you laugh?" he said, still smiling. "I'm Sai".
He lent his hand to Naruto to shake.
Naruto grabbed it, silently. He still felt the impulse to laugh – but the guy was smiling with such a mild smile.
A white smile, was the definition Naruto felt like to give.
He smiled him, too – then turning suddenly serious he added: "I'm Naruto, and change that shirt. You can't go around dressed like a girl."
Sai laughed. "Ookay" he said "Okay. Shall I wear a shirt like yours?"
Naruto giggled, patting his shoulder and saying: "Better a stretch sleeveless one, like Anbus. So you won't change much."
Sai smiled again and agreed.
Tsunade later told Kakashi that it was beautiful, that the two of them got well along so quickly.
Kakashi knitted his eyebrows and exclaimed: "Strange! Really strange! I'd say this guy would get Naruto's goats."
"I think that guy won't come out virgin from Orochimaru's hands."
This is what Sai said when told about Sasuke's situation (as far as Konoha knew).
Naruto grew angry – slapped Sai and didn't say a word.
Sai giggled. He had learnt it from him.
He said, again: "Oh, my humble opinion, you know. No hard feelings…"
Naruto smiled, though still angry with him, and answered:
"Looks like I'll have to show you a time or another."
Sai blushed and fired the slap back.
Naruto burst out laughing.
The same day a blond guy with an Akatsuki uniform, torn asunder, entered the village and went straight to the first policeman he found.
Escorted to the police station and interrogated, he stated as follows:
"Something had gone wrong since the day that guy Tobi arrived.
Then this thing of Sasuke.
Then also Itachi – and that guy Tobi then going mad at us and trying to kill me and Kisame, shit.
Sasori dead…then – you haven't actually known a thing yet, really?
So am I the only one who knows it?" he giggled suddenly, leering the policemen.
"Well…" he continued "What would Itachi do?
Now, now – if you grant me freedom and FIRST OF ALL SURVIVAL…I could even talk."
He smiled, happily, in the detective's face.
He pushed it nearer to Deidara's and grinned, hissing: "FIRST you talk, THEN I see."
Deidara gulped.
"Well. Or well. Sasuke is dead. Itachi too. Jiraya too. Orochimaru killed them.
There's a brothel inside the Akastu-"
"WHAT?"
"A brothel inside the Akatsuki.
A man of us, a guy of us – well it's little time he's with us.
He decided to – take us over and – kind of – like – everyone's with him and – it came out – he said that HE – that HE had brought Itachi to Orochimaru so that he got killed AND – and he knew Sasuke was dead!
And he wanted Itachi too – and he tried to kill ME and and and and Kisame's dead."
He suddenly shut up and gazed the policeman with gaping eyes.
The policeman looked him, bewildered, shocked – and ran out, to find – dear, dear – Naruto.
The people around the ramen place saw him running in – Naruto running out screaming "KAKASHI!" – and Kakashi running to him, pale as a sheet, in total panic "What the fuck?"
Naruto grabbed his collar, actually hanging from it, screaming in his face "SASUKE SASUKE SASUKE Sasuke Sasu-ke…" while he slowly lowered his head, to fall on his knees.
Sai ran there and grabbed Naruto, lifting him up and embracing him.
"Hush, hush, hush, HUSH, THE FUCK! Dafuck's happened? Dafuck? Naruto! What's up?"
The other went on sobbing, grasping his shirt.
The policeman went out of the ramen – he addressed Kakashi and watched Naruto and Sai, while he slowly computed and spelled his abridged report.
To counterbalance his previous screams Naruto now moaned "Jiraya…"
Kakashi sat down, when the report ended.
He sighed.
He looked the earth thinking and then looked the sky.
"Whew. Three in one."
He slowly moved the eyes from the sky to Naruto and syllabified:
"Naruto. Let's go delete that bastard - Orochimaru."
As reply, Naruto growled.
Orochimaru's name – too much a blasphemy.
Then he abruptly stood up – watched Kakashi and snarled: "THAT SUCKER!"
Sai laughed heartily.
"Then" he said "Then, there, let's go. Pick up Sakura and we go."
Naruto didn't even think of the pun.
He grabbed Sai's arm, lugging him, and Kakashi followed.
The policeman didn't know what to do and then he suddenly thought that the Hokage hadn't been informed yet.
He called Kakashi – they went there, sending Naruto – WITH SAI – to get Sakura.
With Sai – no one would leave Naruto alone now.
He was hardly able to stand up – he leant on Sai, who bore the load and brought him on.
He often watched his face – looking for his eyes. Naruto held them down, looking the ground and not seeing it.
He was thinking. Or well, he was trying to think. He couldn't.
This was TOO FUCKING MUCH.
This was really too FUCKING much – this wasn't COMPREHENSIBLE.
Sasuke, Sasuke, his Sasuke.
JIRAYA JIRAYA JIRAYA – Jiraya was DEAD, DEAD and it had also been Orochimaru to kill him!
Jiraya was dead – Sasuke was dead.
Naruto suddenly felt the Kyuubi revolting inside him.
Sai saw him change face all of a sudden – that angry, aggressive, violent expression – Naruto actually growled without speaking.
Sai was there to ask him "What's up?" when Naruto burst out "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The Kyuubi had tried to exploit his anger.
The Kyuubi wanted to KILL – Naruto's anger had brought him to the edge, the edge of resistance.
The Kyuubi was a Demon and hated humans and LOVE and such things – shitty things.
The Kyuubi thought it was time to KILL again – to swallow up souls and blood again.
To destroy, to see again those little helpless humans shake and scream in the flow of his violence.
The Kyuubi liked this – as we like sex.
Abstinence was feeding him up – abstinence was getting his goats.
He literally wanted to burst OUT – his own might, his violence.
The Kyuubi was longing for PAIN – for DEATH – for WASTE.
He told Naruto "Fuck it, get there and slay Orochimaru" "FUCK IT, go there and SPILL THE SHIT of that fucker".
Told Naruto "GET THERE & LET ME GET HIM".
Told Naruto "You sucker WANT to kill him. Go there and rip him off as dead meat!".
Naruto said "No."
The Kyuubi said "Listen to me."
Naruto said "No."
The Kyuubi said "HEAR ME OUT NOW, sucker human. LET ME KILL. I WANT" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Such violence on a human's side – the Kyuubi felt BLOOD'S TASTE in his mouth.
He laughed beastly.
"You're such a little cunt. Just like him – you humans always play the bitches!"
Naruto howled "NEVER TO SPIT A WORD AGAIN!" and closed the gate on Kyuubi's muzzle - deciding that he would NEVER open it again.
He then spat, physically, on ground and held tighter Sai's shoulder.
The other sighed looking him and then, instinctively, kissed his forehead.
Naruto raised his face, looked him and whispered: "Let's go to find Sakura. You'll COME WITH ME, there, won't you?"
Sai laughed without saying a word and kissed him on the forehead again, pulling off his headband.
"You should wear it here, like Hinata" he said, moving it on Naruto's neck.
"Now, let's really go to find Sakura."
When they told her everything, she looked like she was dead.
She didn't say a thing for such a long time.
She simply stared the sky breathing, as she was trying to catch her breath.
She agreed to leave and kill that half human as soon as they could – Naruto and say brought her home.
Sai brought Naruto home and went to take a bath.
Naruto sat down on the ground, in his empty house, to watch his empty heart, to feel and hear his empty brain.
Naruto sat down on the ground to try to cope with this shit.
Naruto sat down on the ground and tried to write imaginary letters to an imaginary Sasuke.
Naruto found it hard to do.
Naruto found it impossible to do.
Naruto sprang up and went to Sai's house.
Naruto thought that he could only distract himself – if as soon as he got angry THE KYUUBI WOULD WAKE UP, the INNER DEMON.
The inner demon that wakes up only with anger.
The inner demon that will EAT YOU FROM THE INSIDE if you let yourself feel PAIN spilled into ANGER.
The INNER DEMON that will carve your conscience.
The INNER DEMON that will gnaw your soul and feelings – leaving you a wasteland, and PERFECTLY SANE.
The INNER DEMON – the toilet of the mind.
Mind's menses, the INNER DEMON.
Naruto went to Sai's home, knocked at the door, found it open, got in, found Sai and threw him on the
ground.
The day after, it was a grey cold dusty misty dawn – Naruto stood in the doorway, bare chested, leaning against the jamb and slowly smoking.
Yeah, smoking. You know, habits are gained and left, as ground.
Sai walked to him silently, leant against the jamb behind him and leant the head on his shoulder.
Naruto grabbed it, still silent, with the hand holding the cigarette – the other arm passed round Sai's waist.
Sai hid the face in his skin.
Naruto managed to show him to be calm – the demon, inside, was tearing his resistance apart.
Naruto watched the dawn and looked for words to define it.
As they came: 'A tragic serenade with Judas in my stride...'