Day Forty-five

I was actually able to get up before Lydia today. I kind of cheated by drinking a tankard of water for every ale I drank last night so Nature would awaken me early for relief. Either way, it worked out fine. As planned, Adrienne met me by Warmaiden's.

She was waiting for me by the forge, "I didn't think you'd come."

"That's what she said," I told her.

"What?"

"Nevermind. Something someone said to me once, guess I got it wrong. Anyway, do you have the stuff?"

"I've got it just as you ordered. Are you sure about the hips? It seems a bit... disproportionate."

"It's right, I checked it a few times just to be sure."

I paid the blacksmith and hurried back to Breezehome with my package. As soon as I put it down by the straw below the steps, Lydia came downstairs.

"I wondered why you were up so early," Lydia said after yawning cavernously. "Then I noticed through the window you and Adrienne meeting at her shop. I didn't think you were her type."

"Shows what you know," I said, "I'm every woman's type."

Lydia sat next to me at the dining room table. "Luckily I haven't eaten yet." She grabbed a green apple from a bowl and took a huge bite out of it.

"You're lucky for two reasons. Too much breakfast and you might not fit into this..." I left the table and from behind a crate came out with a set of steel plate armor and boots.

Lydia stopped in mid-chew. It took a few moments before she finally managed to talk through the food. "I don't remember us finding that."

"Find it? I bought it. That's why I met Adrienne. She finally finished it according to your, um, unique measurements."

"What's the occasion?"

"No occasion. I remembered when you found those steel plate gauntlets at that statue of Talos and put them on immediately, well those and that moonstone circlet."

"I'm Princess Moonbeam!" Lydia laughed, nearly choking on the apple. "You remembered that?"

"Well, it was a while ago. I placed the order for your armor back then. I figured you should have a decent set of armor if I have to be seen walking around with you. You can keep the regular steel helmet, though. I didn't care for the look of the one Adrienne showed me."

"I don't know what to say," Lydia said, "First the staff, now this."

"If it helps, I got you the armor strictly for appearances. Sure it'll protect you better than that old steel armor, but mostly I just wanted you to look more suited to accompanying the Dragonborn on my quest of destiny. So go try it on."

Lydia went upstairs to change and after hearing a few grunts and curses, came back down looking much more the follower of a man of legend.

"So it fits?"

"Very nicely, thank you, though it's a little tight in the hips."

"Seriously? Maybe you've got a thinner undercoat you can wear. Just check the junk in your trunk."

"It'll fit better as I wear it. Thank you again, Ralos. Ready for breakfast? My treat."

"Lead the way," I said.

Outside, I got to the street and the drunk, Brenuin approached me. "My favorite..."

"Be gone, Beggar!" yelled Lydia, her hand on the handle of her axe.

Brenuin scurried away as quickly as an old drunk could.

I turned to Lydia, "Save it for the bandits, huh?"

"Sorry. I'll behave."

"I'll believe that when I see it. Let's go eat."

After breakfast we set off for High Hrothgar once again. It was hard to believe not long ago I did not even know it existed. Now it felt like I had been there almost as much as I had been to Breezehome. I would give anything for a way to travel there fast. With my luck there would be a dragon waiting there for me every time.

I decided to take the long way around the mountain instead of through the pass. I did not feel like walking, really, but I still wanted to get more practice in with my sword if possible. Along the way, I checked the spots I remembered fighting at before. No one had returned to the Ritual Stone. The ashes of the previous skeletons still smoldered in white piles. We moved on to Valtheim Keep but that was still empty. I took a few minutes to cook up some salmon and rabbit legs I had acquired from Whiterun. Moving on past Cradlecrush Rock I finally saw some action but nothing I wanted to really get involved in.

In the midsts of the woods two mages were engaged in a fight to the death. One was using fire while the other was relying on frost. They were so intent on each other they did not even notice us watching them.

"I can see why people would like using magic," I said to Lydia. "I mean the healing spell I know has proven useful, but something must take over a mage's mind after a while."

"Why do you say that?" Lydia asked, "Not all succumb to greed and madness. Farengar, for instance. He knows some powerful magic, but he's still the same pompous ass now that he was years ago."

The mages continued to chase each other around the trees and rocks.

"I mean they keep getting more and more powerful magic then go after each other over nothing like these two," I said. "They're probably fighting over some mushrooms for a potion or a chopped up skeever tail. Uh oh, that's not good."

The mage fight was interrupted by a big brown bear taking offense at having its nap interrupted. Stupidly, the mages did not run but tried to kill the bear with their spells.

"We should probably help them," Lydia said, "It would be the Thane thing to do."

"The Thane thing to do would have been for those two morons to run their magic asses away from a bear. But they stayed. That was inthane. I hath little thympathy for two thilly mages and their lack of common thense."

"Done?"

"Thertainly," I said and unsheathed my sword. Unfortunately the mages proved little entertainment for the bear as we saw the beast walking away from the two mangled robes of what used to be mages.

"We could go after the bear," Lydia suggested.

"Anxious to try out your new armor? Well, I say we wait. He's done Whiterun a service, ridding us of those idiots. He's earned a reprieve. Let's go see if we can find a troll or something ugly like that to fight."

We reached High Hrothgar later that afternoon. Did it ever stop snowing up there? My hand nearly stuck to the door handle, it was so cold. Arngeir was sitting cross-legged just inside the door when I went in, pretty limber for such an old guy. He stood quickly and actually came over to us.

"Where have you been Dragonborn? We searched but no one could find you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, "After we fought off Alduin we came back down but you guys were no where to be found. I had to go to Whiterun for something but now I'm back for a favor."

"Wait. What was that? You fought off Alduin? We heard the Dragonrend shouts but we did not know the outcome. When we did not see you, we assumed the worst."

"Well, you know what happens when you assume, right? Consider yourself ass out. Never underestimate the sheer awesome power of the Dragonborn of Destiny."

"My apologies, Dragonborn," Arngeir bowed deeply. "So you defeated him?"

"Huh? Well, not exactly defeated. He pulled a fast one and escaped before I could finish him off."

"I see. Perhaps your destiny will wrap itself up shortly, hmm?"

"Look, I don't see you shouting ancient dragons out of the sky you old robe wearing..."

Lydia cleared her throat behind me to get my attention. She whispered in my ear, "Remember, you need a favor from them?"

I shivered from the groin, up. "Oh, right. And what have I told you about whispering in my ear?" I adjusted my codpiece and turned back to the Greybeard. "And a nice robe it is. As I was saying, Alduin has gone into hiding and I need to find out where he's gone."

"I have no idea. Did you ask Paarthurnax?"

"Of course. He's not exactly in their inner circle anymore, you know, with that whole betrayal thing so he is not sure. What I need to do is trap one of the newly raised dragons and ask him."

"We can not help you with that. We are not permitted to use our Voice so."

"You let me worry about that. What I need from you is to help me stop this civil war."

Arngeir put his hands up, "Oh, no, we stay out of wars. Too messy."

"I'm not asking you to get your robes dirty, Ms. Greybeard. Balgruuf won't let me use Dragonsreach as long as there's a war going on. I'm sure both sides will want me to end the threat of the dragons so I need you to mediate a truce to get them to stop fighting long enough for me to do that."

"I'm not sure..."

"Eh, it was Paarthurnax' idea." I suggested.

Lydia poked me. I ignored her.

"If Paarthurnax is for it, we must help. Go tell them to come here. I'll have to get master Borri to go stock up on linen wraps and bring the matresses down from the attic."

"Do what you have to do to," I said, "We'll be back as soon as possible."

I left with Lydia but we stopped just inside the door. I had a decision to make before going out into the cold.

"Problem again, Thane?" Lydia asked, "I'll show you once more. This is a door. You grab the handle and push."

"I've got a handle you can grab. I stopped because we need to figure out which one we should get to first, Ulfric or Tullius."

"Obviously we should go to the furthest first since he will need more time to travel, assuming we can get them to come here at all."

"Of course they'll come. They can't refuse the Dragonborn. It's common sense to want to get rid of the dragons."

"I've found men and common sense don't exactly go together, and these are leaders of men which means they share a collective brain. A hundred brains into one man would be great, but usually its one brain spread out over a hundred men. All it takes is one grunt and all the others pick up on it."

"Oh, and women are so much more sensible. You'd never go to war, but every month there'll be some intense negotiations. 'I can't fight dragons today, I'm so bloated. And my shoes do not match this shield. What was the Jarl thinking with these colors?'"

"Why is there even a debate over where we go?" Lydia asked, her helmet cradled in the crook of her arm. "You know you want to go back to Solitude and look up Sayma again. Perhaps she'll actually sell you something this time instead of exchanging... services, for them."

"I can't believe you're bringing that up," I said, "How long ago was that? And I told you I didn't do anything with her."

From behind us Arngeir approached, "I'm sorry, I had no idea you two were married. Why wasn't I invited? I'd have made a special trip for the Dragonborn's wedding."

"Married?" we said together.

"I've seen what has crossed his bedsheets," Lydia said, "I'd just as soon be handled by one of the afflicted."

"Yeah, Beardo, one bearded dragon at a time is enough for me, thank you."

"My mistake," the Greybeard said. "No need to jump down my robes. Unless you want to?"

I nearly laughed until I realized he was looking at me. "We really should be going. Come along, Housecarl. Solitude it is."

At the bottom of the steps outside I peeked over the edge of the mountain. I swear I could see a familiar building down on the ground. If I was not mistaken, it was Honingbrew Meadery. That settled it.

"You can go the long way if you want," I told Lydia, "I'm going to cut half a day out of this trip and climb down the side of this mountain. I think I see Whiterun down there at the bottom."

"Oh, no, don't you go climbing down the side of the mountain. You're Dragonborn, not Goatborn."

"Whatever, I'm tired of so much walking. I need to do something different. I'll meet you at Breezehome."

Ignoring her protests, I went down the side of the mountain. It turned out to be not as precarious as it looked and there was only one part that gave me pause. When I finally jumped, it only cost me a sore knee which my magic healed nicely. I should have thought of that days ago.

As I suspected, I descended close to the meadery. I had a few drinks, got a little tipsy, then took a nap at Breezehome while Lydia took her sweet time. Despite her lengthy castigations once she arrived, she was obviously relieved that I did not end up a Dragonsmear on the jagged rocks. There was still a lot of daylight left so headed back out and went northeast again.

I tried to skirt past Silent Moons Camp but a single bandit was out by the streambed. Apparently he was trying to make some smoking device out of a mudcrab shell and a flute. He died before Lydia could catch up to help and luckily the fight did not rouse any of his fellows. Either that or they were glad to be rid of him.
I found the trail I took last time but this time there were no mammoths in the way. I passed the Shrine to Mara and remembered there was another shrine with some nice tributes left behind. I sought that out, killing two wolves on the way. I spotted the shrine but I also spotted something else, well, someone else. M'aiq was standing near the edge of the mountain amid a small pile of swords and shields. I was in no mood for his gibbering silliness and just grabbed the stuff off the shrine, some gems and an elven bow. The bow radiated an aura that seemed to drain my magicka. Might be helpful if I encountered any mages.

I started away but two ice wolves appeared and attacked. I thought of maybe getting rid of two annoyances at once and lead them over to M'aiq. Whatever his mental state, the Khajiit was no fool, but he was no warrior either. He took off running until he was cowering on the side of the mountain where the wolves could not reach him. What a waste. Lydia and I killed the wolves and I debated shouting the shivering cat off the side. Lydia must have read my mind.

"Just let him go, Thane," she said, "He's not worth it, even as a rug."

I sighed. "Fine. Hey, Catman. It's safe to come out now."

I stalked off towards Solitude again, angry I could not deal with him better. Mages and cowards, I did not know which I loathed more.

We meandered our way through the rocks of the mountainside to Stonehills Mining camp. It was getting late so most of the activity was done for the night. A few guards were strolling around. They must have been having trouble with petty lawbreakers or something because one called me a sneakthief and another asked about someone stealing my sweetroll. Since I was just passing through, I ignored them and kept moving.

The swamp outside the camp was cold and rife with spiders. I was getting better at dodging their venomous spit but it was impossible once you got within sword striking distance. Fortunately these were the weaker variety and died quickly.

Solitude was quiet once again. The only noise seemed to be coming from an old drunk dancing outside of the Winking Skeever. It was too late to try to see the General so I decided we'll get a room and go in the morning. I tried to enter the inn but the drunk stumbled into me.

"Take it easy, Old Timer," I said to him, "You better get to bed and sleep that off before you can't go to work in the morning."

"I'm too old to work, you damn nosy fool," he threw back at me, "But not too old to drink and dance!"

He started his dance again which consisted of him holding his arms out and waving them up and down to an imaginary beat. His ale would have sloshed all over if he had any left.

"What do you call that dance?" I asked him.

"It's more for the ladies. I call it the Funbag Flop. The bigger the bags, the funner the flop." He looked at Lydia who was obviously not amused by his antics or the conversation. "Care to give it a try, my Lady. You'll have to lose the armor. That just hides the fun, and you look to be toting a lot of fun in there."

I imitated the drunk's dance, better than he could, of course. "Up for some dancing, Lydia?"

"Up for some bleeding, Ralos?"

"Come on, my funbags are more like sillypockets. You've got a whole laugh riot going on."

"Old and drunk or young and ignorant, their all still just pigs. Juvenile, rolling in their own shit pigs. I'll be inside eating."

Lydia left me outside with the old drunk and I gave him a septim for his contribution to the night's entertainment.

"I better get inside too," I said, "before she eats everything worth ordering. I'll leave the dancing in your capable hands, Old Man."

"Just as well," he said laughing, "You're going to need both hands free to handle those, eh, I mean, that one."

He cackled until he coughed uncontrollably so I left him outside. I'm sure someone nearby would help him if he started to choke.

I entered the Winking Skeever feeling like I should remember something but my last time here was a blur. I saw Lydia at a table by herself with an array of food in front of her. Hopefully, some of that was for me. I headed towards her but was stopped when a drunken Nord called out from another table crowded with other drunks.

"Hey! Look who's here! It's that fellow that thinks he's the Dragonborn."

I tried to ignore them but they looked familiar. I merely waved to them.

"Hey, buddy," the drunk continued, "Did ya remember to bring your tent with ya again?"

He and his cronies fell apart with laughter. Now I remembered. I was about to FUS-RO-DAH their whole table across the room but one of them thrust a tankard of mead into my hand and clapped me on the back. I let them have their moment and went to Lydia's table. She was too busy trying not to laugh to talk so I made myself a plate from her cornucopia of food and went to our room to eat.