Hysteron proterus
Naruto tried to stay with Sai as long and often as he could, those days.
The Kyuubi continued harassing him, continued to ask, to say, to scream, to growl, to menace, to insult – Sai, Sasuke, Naruto, Jiraya, Kakashi...
As long as Naruto was doing something – listening to someone or keeping himself busy with Sai – he could avoid giving attention to the demon.
The problems came when he was alone – when he had nothing to think about, to concentrate on.
The Kyuubi broke out as violently as the first time, put Naruto under his strange Tsukuyomi - Getsuga Tensho, he called it – and the latter could only WAIT, WAIT, wait and endure.
Luckily he had many a thing to think about – first of all protecting Sai.
Secondly, the blond guy from Akatsuki had reported anything he knew to the Hokage – as Naruto was involved, Tsunade involved him.
Governing Konoha for her was getting the more and more difficult, now that all this shit was happening.
Not that it had been easy in the beginning – replacing the old Third hadn't been easy, nor rewriting half of Konoha's military dispositions (such as army ranking, patrol turns, alliances).
The helter skelter Orochimaru had done that time, years before, had sprung leaks and cracks that still had to be mended.
Of these the most important one was that with the Sand Village.
Orochimaru had killed their Kage and okay, this wasn't Konoha's fault.
Orochimaru had attacked Konoha in full Chuunin exam, and yes, this WAS Konoha's fault.
No one had stopped him, no one had been able to do it – but neither had they put some alarm devices to PREVENT Orochimaru come into Konoha.
Then Orochimaru had killed many people that time – Konoha's ninjas and their own Hokage, and this still wasn't Konoha's fault.
Orochimaru had deviated Sasuke, and this, even if it actually WAS Konoha's fault, didn't involve the Sand.
What involved the Sand was the killing of many of their ninjas – including the brothers of the newly-appointed Hokage, Gaara.
Gaara had gained his seat promising, in fact, complete hostility to Konoha.
As the people soon and often loses its memory, as we all know, Konoha had been then accused of being "responsible of Orochimaru's crimes" having "let him grow to criminal and Nukenin without the smallest interest in killing him".
No one seemed to remember that the first victim of Orochimaru was actually Konoha.
No one seemed to have noticed that Konoha, in all that brothel, managed to PREVENT Orochimaru from taking the Kyuubi.
Sasuke wasn't a matter of discussion – everyone knew that Orochimaru had taken him in only in replacement of his choice spirit, Itachi.
Tsunade couldn't help thinking that she and Jiraya had trusted Orochimaru too much, far beyond the line.
They saw him becoming evil, they had turned their backs to him until the very end – until they had discovered his slaughters and experiments and he had fled from Konoha – and capital judgement.
Orochimaru was then, really, a failure of her, Jiraya and the whole Konoha?
Then she knew all about that Akatsuki – and realized that Konoha's failures were TWO, at least.
Orochimaru and ITACHI.
The blond guy, Deidara, told her about the Akatsuki, all he knew: that they had to collect demons, that the head, apparently, was that Sasori whom Itachi killed, that Itachi had surely gone killing himself – but Kisame, in the last quarrel with the others, who then killed him, had said "I am pretty sure that Itachi's gone to kill Orochimaru."
So, all Akatsuki knew that Itachi had been killed by Orochimaru – the question was whether also Orochimaru was dead.
Tsunade assured him of the contrary. No, Orochimaru was alive.
"Then I know what he's done with Itachi's body..."
Tsunade gulped.
"Go on about the Akatsuki."
"Then, everyone said we were nine, but until that guy Tobi arrived we were only six, as far as I knew.
There were Itachi, Kisame, Sasori from the Sand, Hidan and Kakuzu who are still alive, and I.
Then arrived Tobi and I once saw him talking with a strange being – something between a plant and a human, I'm not joking" said he seeing Tsunade laughing "he was all black and white and then disappeared melting into the ground.
No – SIR, i'm not joking. No, sir, I don't drink alcohol. No, SIR, I swear you-"
"I can only believe you as for now... then?"
"I said that as far as I knew Sasori commanded the Akatsuki – but I noticed he appeared to receive orders from somewhere else.
I don't know where – I thought it was actually a nation, trying to get all the demons to use them.
I still don't know.
Then, when we noticed that Itachi was dead – Kisame felt it, you know – we had to wait a week to have clear information.
That fucking clear information was Orochimaru that came to us to "have a talk with that Tobi guy of yours".
Tobi refused to see him, and didn't let him in.
I hadn't understand he was him – I thought it was THE FUCK I KNOW! Had I known that shit was alive and – ITACHI!
Now I understand why he came. To show us Itachi's body!
Shit! I always HATED that guy.
Then Tobi said something about "at least he" he Itachi "is useful in some way".
Kisame went angry and suddenly Hidan and Kakuzu went on Tobi's side, leaving me and Kisame on the other – the quarrel grew to violence in some way, I don't remember.
Kisame was killed and I escaped them and went here.
I remembered Itachi was from here and I thought you were the only ones who could help me.
I don't give a fuck about the Akatsuki.
I do only want to do something – about – about Itachi's death. I want...oh, shit.
Then – YES – that's important – they want to take the Kyuubi NOW.
They're already trying to, I'm sure.
They will step into Konoha, surely – that black and white thing can reach any place freely.
That Jinchuuriki of yours...I'd put him under guard."
"Thank you.
There he is, however, behind you."
Deidara turned and saw Naruto gazing at him.
He smiled to him and turned again to Tsunade.
"Then, I just wanted to ask you – can I stay in jail, again? That's the safer place...
I don't say he" pointing at Naruto "should stay there too, not that it is a bad jail, but it is a jail, still.
I'd rather stay there..." he ended smiling to Tsunade, from one ear to the other.
Tsunade laughed.
"You're the first one ever to ask such a thing...of course you can. Go and send me him"
"Yes, sir!"
Naruto came in and sat down. "You heard?" asked Tsunade.
"Yeah, I heard, and this is really such a big brothel.
Granny, me and Kakashi – we had thought of, huh...if I wear something else than the uniform and change in some way my appearance, he said. This means?"
"Wear a normal outfit and not that sweater with those marks. The hair, then. Follow Itachi's clue – shave."
"WHAT?"
"Hahahahahha! Just joking.
Longer? Naa. This I don't know, it's you men's business.
The clothes, too – I don't think" she said, giggling "that you'd like mines..."
Naruto laughed lightly. "Okay, okay. I'll go home and see what I got.
I'll ask Sai for the hair."
"Oh, not PURPLE, Naruto! I saw him yesterday and it's the gayest thing"
"I know, I know.
I told him so..." said Naruto, smiling and going out the room.
Tsunade sprang up and screamed behind him:
"YOU'RE TOGETHER?"
"...well, no...it's just a... friend and benefit, it's called?"
Tsunade didn't find words nor breath to reply. Naruto went away and she fell on the chair laughing like an
idiot.
Then she had to call him back, later – they forgot to talk about the guard thing.
SAI AND Naruto had to be protected.
Tsunade thought seriously of the jail. It WAS a good idea – no one would go in search of the precious state Jinchuuriki THERE.
As all apartments on ground floor, Naruto's house wasn't safe at all.
She also called Kakashi, who arrived first.
"When have you stopped being late?"
"When I stopped going out drinking with Guy...he's got some girlfriend, now. Thought I don't know who she is..."
"Weren't you around with Anko?"
"HOW COME YOU KNOW – alright NARUTO told ya!"
"Of course. He's a loyal grandson!
Now, Kakashi. Go to Naruto's house, while he is here – he will be here soon – and spread defensive devices around it. Anything comes to your mind, do it.
And provide him a new sweater...without marks nor symbols nor anything. The more civilian it looks, the better it is.
Go, now, he's coming".
Kakashi stood up and opened the door to Naruto, who came in with WHAAAAAAAAAT? Orange hair?
"ORANGE?" exclaimed Tsunade.
"YES! He says I'm cool!"
"Orange and purple...the Halloween party couple..." said Tsunade laughing to tears.
Kakashi laughed walking away.
Naruto's door's slot was so easy to open that even Akamaru could come in by itself.
Kakashi decided to ask a friend of his - this had to be changed, and he, Kakashi would do it – but the door
itself had to be strengthened, and the wood master here was his former colleague Tenzou.
He looked breathless around the room.
A total mess. There was so much rubbish spread all around that Kakashi doubted of Naruto's nervous health.
He saw – A PUPPET? HIS PUPPET? It looked like a scarecrow – it even had the mask and the headband on the eye...how tender, Naruto.
It was all mended with Sellotape – Naruto surely had battered him to death more than a time.
'No hard feelings, Kakashi, it was only for training...' he laughed to himself.
Then he thought of the sweater – he opened the wardrobe and found nothing but T-shirts.
He left after having, as Tsunade ordered, covered any infinitesimally sensible spot with alarms, tricks and "defensive devices".
'I wonder if this play-on-words obsession came to the three Sannins altogether during the war or as a mental impairment after it...'
He met Naruto in the street, with Sai.
Naruto informed him about Tsunade's late decision: Sai would live with him, he, Kakashi, wouldn't leave Konoha the same and would move to live in the empty house near Naruto's.
Kakashi instead listed him all the tricks he had placed – Naruto was terrorized:
"I'll never remember it, I'll NEVER remember it...I'll mess it all up!" he laughed.
Sai quieted him: "I will remember, I will..."
Kakashi laughed. He went past Naruto, turned back to tell him something more – and –
Naruto and Sai were disappeared.
He ran through the village – trying to comprehend – to clear-minded CALCULATE.
Where the fuck?
He ran gasping, thoughts raging in his mind – his hypothesis were clouded by self-insults about his ignorance, his stupidity – his uselessness – his indefensible self-confidence – his distraction.
He didn't even hear! This led him to think – am I aging, am I spoiling as a ninja – am I able to protect Naruto?
Work hard. Work hard to cancel these things and concentrate.
Concentrate on analysis.
Concentrate on analysis. Narrow down. Exclude.
This – he didn't hear. No sounds.
AKATSUKI.
Why this assumption? NO SOUNDS.
That masked guy – the last time – no sounds.
Suddenly appearing with no sounds.
It's him – he's got them!
Had to kill him last time.
Kakashi ran down the roads in a straight line – what has been called 'following his feet'.
I fucking hell had to kill him the shit of last time!
He passed in front of the ramen place, lanterns were hung on its front as every fucking day – they were alight.
Kakashi noticed it a fraction of second later than usual – than he usually do.
Sharingan and adrenaline yield this computational self-analysis in serious danger/hate-fear-pain/shock-surprise situations.
A fraction later: I'm distracted. Must CONCENTRATE narrow down THINGS narrow d-EXCLUDE.
WHERE THE HELL AM I GOING?
To the gates.
Gates – taking them outside! Thank you my wonderful instinct!
He went on running. He reached the square before the gates – THERE HE SAW:
A black spot roughly the shape of a coated man there on that low hill before him – EYES
What's with his fucking eyes?
He literally is WATCHING ME – his – hell of – eyes – COUNTER – fire back Kakashi.
Fire back, Kakashi.
He did.
The man moved his arms – guys before him – carrying bodies – hair – purple HAIR.
See, they're there.
Kakashi ran – the man to guys, talking – Sai's head visible – closed eyes – arms hanging – STILL or YET?
YET? 'Twas not their plan to kill them right!
STILL, so – still alive. Only inconsciuos.
There, Kakashi ran.
The man looking him preparing to attack, the guys looking him sneering.
There, NARUTO's head – LIFTING!
Guys surprised – Naruto turning – moving & attacking.
The man left Kakashi, brought the others away, left the boys there.
Kakashi ran again.
Naruto stood up, bent on Sai, woke him up.
Kakashi stepped calmly to them.
He then crumbled on his knees, laughing.
:Fucking endorphin.
Then he suddenly began to think again.
:Endorphin plus adrenaline.
The boys were talking to him – he waved a hand.
:"Not now".
Why did they leave the boys there.
They could bring them away. Why did the man give up so easily?
They – the guys – they were many enough.
Naruto had awoken – he was only Naruto.
He was only Kakashi.
This meant – this man couldn't counter them together.
Wonderful thing to know.
WHY?
The jot of adrenaline evaporated – the endorphin went still around – Kakashi realized he felt incredibly tired and incredibly well and incredibly happy.
He staggered behind the boys walking home.