Day Forty-six

"Where in Sovngarde have you been?" I asked.

Lydia sauntered up to me casually eating an apple. "I told you I had to go do some things and pick up some supplies."

"What took so long," I asked, standing up from the brick ledge by the ramp leading up to Tullius' headquarters. "I feel like I've been waiting here doing nothing for days."

"Oh, it wasn't that long, you big dragonbaby," Lydia turned and hurled the apple core up and over the walls of Solitude. "Ready?"

I shook my head and led the way up the ramp. I followed the big red flags to the Imperial's leader. No one stopped us all the way into the general's war room. Why would they let us have access to the Imperial's nerve center? They must recognize my noble bearing and trusting good looks. A long table sat in the middle of the room with a map of Skyrim on it. The corners were held down with skulls. Tullius turned as we entered.

"They'll let anyone into this castle...oh, hello, Lydia."

My housecarl nodded towards him, "General."

"You know each other?" I asked.

Tullius put his hands on his hips, "I taught Lydia all she knows about fighting. Then she had the audacity to run off with some fuzzy-chinned mage, Farengi, or something."

"Fartenbreath," I said.

"Farengar," Lydia corrected us.

"Yes, that's it," Tullius said, "Now I hear he's hiding with that hold-out, Balgruuf in Whiterun. What brings you two here? Eager to join the Legion?"

"You wish, Shrimpy," I said tactfully, "I believe we've met before."

Tullius squinted at me, "Have we? Oh, right. Helgen. You were mucking out the stables during that botched execution. I wish I had that doomed loser here right now I'd finish what I start..."

"That's not important right now," I said quickly, "I helped Hadvar escape and he said he would vouch for me if I came to you for something."

"Hadvar? He hasn't reported here yet. Look, I'm busy. If you're here about the stables, I'm sure Legate Rikka could find you a shovel."

"Damn your shovel, you puffed-up little old..."

"We're here with a message from the Greybeards," Lydia said.

"The Greybeards? What do those robe dragging hermits want with me?"

"They're convening a peace council at High Hrothgar," she continued. "You are invited."

"Why? I have nothing to discuss with that traitor, Ulfric."

I spoke up, "We need a truce between you two so we can deal with the dragon menace."

"They are becoming a nuisance, but they must be bothering the traitors as well. I'm here to fight a war, dragons or no dragons."

"Has that grey hair seeped into your feeble mind?" I asked.

"What he means is," Lydia said, "now that you are winning, it would be the best time to show you are not afraid of him at all and meet him on neutral ground."

"Fair enough," the general conceded, "I'll go, for all the good it will do."

He dismissed us and his legate shooed us out, angry at being ignored.

"See?" I said to Lydia, "I knew I could convince him. I have a way with people."

"You were all I expected you to be," Lydia said, "It worked anyway."

I smiled in agreement, then wondered if I just missed something.

"Let's go catch that carriage before he leaves or gets to drinking again," I said as we made our way past the Winking Skeever.

"You mean we're not walking again?" Lydia asked.

"Time is of the essence, woman. Tullius will be on the move soon and we still have to get to Windhelm and convince Ulfric to drop everything and trek up to High Hrothgar. I'd say we need as much time as possible."

"I guess."

"What's wrong? You sound unsure. Doesn't that make sense?"

"Yes, that's what's wrong. You said it and it makes sense."

I laughed as hard as I could for two seconds, just to show I got her little joke. "You know, you're right. Perhaps one of us should walk, as a show of solidarity between the two factions, to show we're not playing favorites."

"I couldn't let you do that," Lydia said, "You might run afoul of a hagraven or something similarly seductive and get yourself into all kinds of trouble... again."

I sighed, "Is it just you that never lets things go or is it all women?"

"We can discuss it on the ride to Windhelm."

"Can we? And here I was going to sleep and dream of my harem of dragonsworn dancers."

Lydia rolled her eyes and led the way to the stables.

Day Forty-seven

It was a few hours after midnight when we arrived at Windhelm and Lydia suggested we rent a room until morning and, of course, eat. I, on the other hand, thought the Jarl needed as much time as possible to decide to go and get ready. Also, the facilities were usually better outfitted with cleaner rooms and softer linen wraps.

I thought Ulfric would be asleep but it turned out he was still up talking with his right hand man, Galmar. They were the only two in the enormous hall though the dining table looked ransacked like we had missed a great feast. The Jarl remained slouched in his throne, unperturbed by two armed warriors walking up to him. I wondered why, but not for long.

"As I live and bleed for Skyrim," Ulfric said, "Is that you Lydia?"

"Hello, Ulfric," she said, "It's good to see you again."

"Wait. You know him, too?" I asked.

"Ulfric and I go back quite a ways. Don't we, Ulfy?"

"That we do, Sugarhips."

"Sugarhips?" I repeated. "Ulfric, if I wasn't destined to be a deity, I would so worship you right now."

Ulfric turned his attention to me for the first time. "I remember you, from Helgen. I see the Imperials' attempt to execute you has made you see the light of truth. Speak with Galmar, he handles recruits."

"That's not why I'm here, Ulfy," I said.

"That's too bad. I was going to let that 'Ulfy' slip pass. If you're not here to fight for us, then your transgression shall be your last. Guards!"

"I'm not here to fight because I have a message from the Greybeards."

"Hmph. It's about time they lowered their cowls and took notice of our bleeding homeland. What do they want?"

"They are negotiating a truce to allow me to deal with the dragon menace."

"You deal with them? I'll admit the dragons are becoming a boil on my backside, but unless Tullius is already going, I can not go and appear desperate for a end. Not all the Jarls are on my side yet."

"Hey, don't you think you know all that?" I said, "Short stuff's already on the way."

"Will you be there, Lydia? Perhaps we can catch up. If Balgruuf's going to be there, he always brings the best smoke. I'll be the high king one way or another."

"I'll be there," she said, "but I can't promise anything more."

"That's good enough for me. The high altitude will be good for Galmar's throat."

"If he's not with us, he's against us," Galmar said, his voice deep and gravelly.

"Yeah, Galmar, guy. You sound terrible," I said, "Have you tried some tea with some honey? Maybe some moon sugar?"

"Bah, I was born talking like this."

"Yikes. Your mother must have been quick to breastfeed you. 'Hungry!', 'O.K.,O.K., nobody gets hurt, here you go.'."

"That's it," Lydia said, "We're done here. See you at High Hrothgar, Ulfric."

"Yeah, see ya, Ulfy."

"Guards!"

I did not want to risk Ulfric changing his mind about coming so I let the guards lead me away brusquely from the throne room and to the gates. I even let Lydia get away with laughing every time the burly guard hurried me along by hitching me up higher by my belt. It was too much, however when, as I passed through the gate, Burly gave me one final kick in the ass that nearly sent me sprawling. If the gate had not closed, I would have incurred a fairly high bounty for my wanton destruction of his face. His time will come, though. Dragons never forget.

I led Lydia back to the stables to catch the carriage to Iverstead. When we got there, I found the carriage and the driver, already pounding down the ale, but something was conspicuously missing.

"Where's your horse?" I asked driver.

He belched, which I could almost smell as far away as I was. "Horshes got there needsh to ya know. I let him go to go do hish businessh at the farm up the road. Hic."

"How in Oblivion did you get drunk so fast?"

"I tell you my shecret... I'm alwaysh drunk."

The driver fell over laughing, spilling his drink on himself. I stalked away down the road.

"Now what?" Lydia asked as she caught up to me.

"What else? We walk."

"Shouldn't we wait until morning? Or at least get something to eat?"

"I'm too pissed to wait. You probably should have slept instead of flapping your gums with the driver most of the way here. As far as eating, there's snowberries every few feet. Help yourself."

"Snowberries give me the winds."

I stopped in the middle of the road. "As future ruler of Skyrim, I want to be informed of all that goes on. That being said, there's a limit to how much information I need to have. Keep that in mind, especially about what makes you fart. And stay downwind of me."

The walk along the road was quiet at night except for the howling wind and the occasional odd noises Lydia failed to completely disguise with her coughing. We encountered a few frostbite spiders and some wandering Bard dressed none too warmly for the bone-chilling temperatures. He must have been keeping his onions warm up around his stomach.

As we approached a bridge I noticed an argonian standing at one end as if waiting for us. He was in a fighting stance, bobbing slightly with his fists in front of him. He did not look too steady on his feet, either. I tried to just walk past him but that seemed only to insult him.

"So it's like that is it?" he said, his lispy voice a bit slurred. "Won't even bother to acknowledge me, eh. It's on, then."

The Argonian landed a right cross too quickly for me to dodge.

"I would think this cold weather would freeze you like a wet sock, lizard," I said and managed to dodge his follow-up swing and arm myself with sword and shield. I heard Lydia's axe slip its sheath as well.

I bashed the drunk with my spiked shield twice then carved a piece of his snout off with my elven sword. Its cold properties left a white sheen across the wound. He staggered a few steps then put his fists up again. "You don't stand a..."

His sentenced was finished by Lydia and her battleaxe. The lizardman crumpled and disappeared into the water.

"Is everyone drunk tonight?" I asked. "Did I forget a holiday or something?"

Lydia wiped her axe, "Perhaps as the mystical Dragonborn of Destiny you're just a vortex for trouble. It would explain a lot."

I thought of what she said for a moment, trying to find any bits of sarcasm, but I saw none. Perhaps she was finally coming around to see my wisdom. "You have a point. A fine observation, Housecarl. I'll make something of you yet."

"Or it could just be that people want to beat you up for being such a jerk."

"Don't be fooled, little Lydia. Jealousy takes many forms. Some people just do not know how to handle it when someone is obviously superior to them. Makes them crazy."

"I hear crazy takes many forms, too."

"You've noticed that too? Sad, really."

"Your words, O' Dragonborn."

"Let's get going," I said, "Ironically, my armor is hot, but it is not warm. Think on that, Housecarl. A bit of wisdom from yours truly."

Lydia rolled her eyes, probably deep in thought, so I took the lead.

The forces of evil were at work to try to stop me from reaching High Hrothgar again. Lydia and I were forced to tangle with two ice wraiths, two wolves, and a frostbite spider on the way up the million steps. They were no match for destiny, in fact they aided it by giving me more practice with my sword. I would have to have a talk with Balgruuf though about Lydia's behavior. There must be a manual or list of chores for a housecarl that they can not deviate from. Especially after I fought the wolves, the spikes on my shield were covered with blood, an eye, and thick chunks of wolf fur and spider spooge. I simply told Lydia it needed cleaning then had to stop her from throwing it like some flying disk off the side of the mountain. I also needed to inquire about some appropriate punishments for disobedience and sass-back. Lydia was growing a bit too independent a thinker, never a good idea for a subordinate.

"Now what are you doing?" Lydia asked as I sat down on the steps outside the keep.

"I've got a rock in my boot the size of a chicken egg." I emptied my boot of the offending object.

"That? I've got blisters bigger than that."

"I don't need to hear about your hind quarters."

"On..my..feet, from all this walking, since somebody is too cheap to actually buy horses."

"That Balgruuf is a bit of a miser. I'll bring it up after I have a serious talk with him about a certain somebody." I put my boot back on after massaging my foot.

"Ready, Princess Dragonborn?" Lydia said.

"Perhaps you'd like to keep watch outside? I hear the northern lights are fantastic from up here?"

"Ulfric is expecting me. He'll probably walk if I don't come in."

She had me there. "Of course he would. Now stop being a such a girl, you can see the pretty lights anytime. Let's go."

Inside the keep, I immediately run into Arngeir and his tight-lipped posse.

"How's it hanging, Arny?" I said.

"Gravity is a constant, remember that when you're my age. But that's beside the point. I don't know why I agreed to this. We are men of peace. Even the walls of the keep feel tainted by housing these blood-spillers."

"Don't get your beard in a knot. I'll get them to agree to a truce and then they'll be gone."

"You'll excuse me if I don't share your optimism. You know what the Nord word for war is? 'Season unending'."

"Uh, that's two words, Arny."

"It's hyphenated."

"Sure it is."

Arngeir suddenly pushed between me and Lydia. "Who invited you two?"

I turned to see Esbern and Delphine striding into the keep, decked out in their Blades armor. Damn they looked sharp, almost as good as me.

Delphine spoke first, "We have every right to be here. We used to be representatives of the Emperor himself."

"You need us here," Esbern added, "We have vital information if this is a serious discussion of dragons." Esbern sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose. "You have a dragon, don't you?"

Arngeir bristled, "He knows not to go in the keep. Very well, Blades. You may enter. I'll not be responsible for any of your blood that may be loosed from your bodies."

The Blades headed for the room. Arngeir shook his head, "This deal is getting worse all the time."

Lydia and I followed the Greybeards to get this mess over with.

We all filed into the room, each faction on either side of the table. Arngeir was at the foot and a chair was left empty for me to preside over everyone at the head of the tabel, as it should be. Already they were learning their place. Of course some of them would need more training than others.

Ulfric suddenly shouted, "Why is that Thalmor bitch here?"

"Here we go," someone said.

"She has every right to be here," Tullius said in Elenwen's defense. "She is part of the Imperial delegation. Why are the Blades here, and on your side?"

Delphine stood up. "We're here to rid Skyrim of the dragons and deserve to be here."

Tullius pointed his finger at them, "You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor! Send them away!"

Arngeir held his arms out, "No one is bullying anyone to leave. We will let the Dragonborn decide."

I sighed, "We all knew who was going to be here. Why is everyone suddenly shocked by who showed up? We're not here to play spin the bottle or exchange recipes so everyone take a seat and act like you're here representing your people instead of just your egos."

"Well said, Ralos," Lydia whispered next to my ear. "I'm impressed."

"What did I tell you about whispering in my ear? Now I have to stay seated."

The other delegates took their seats. Ulfric stared at me then put two fingers towards his eyes then pointed them at me. Like I needed more problems. The offers and threats and insults began flying immediately. Lydia tried to keep me up to speed with what was on the table. Some of these places I had not even been to. We finally reached a compromise that no one was happy with but everyone felt they were better off than before. Whatever floated their boats, so long as I could move along with what I had to do.

"Well, that's been settled," Arngeir said, "And I didn't even have to raise my Voice."

"All that's left is to figure out how to lure a dragon into Dragonsreach," Balgruuf said. "But I suppose you, Dragonborn, already have that figured out. This was your idea, after all."

"Of course I've got it figured out," I said, "It's a little known fact that a dragon's favorite food is actually feces. That's why there are no outhouses - kept getting attacked. So I propose we tie Farengar up by his ankles and dangle him over the great porch. We all know he's the biggest sack of..."

"I think I may have a better plan," Esbern said.

I let the old man have the floor. At least Ulfric was still laughing and banging on the table.

"A dragon is too smart to fall for a simple lure, but they are also too prideful to ignore a challenge. A dragon's name is simply another word of power and if the Dragonborn were to shout a dragon's name, it would have no choice but to accept the challenge."

"I realize I've got dragonblood," I said, "But that side of the family doesn't talk to me. I don't know any of their names."

"As it happens, the Blades kept an extensive list of names back when they were in power. I've discovered one of the names is of a dragon that was recently reborn by Alduin. I believe he will come if you call him. His name, if I'm pronouncing it correctly, is Odahviing."

"I guess that might work better," I admitted, "But we could still try my idea. It would be rude to call him over and not have a snack ready."

Everyone filed out. Delphine stopped me.

"This isn't over, Ralos. Despite helping, Paarthurnax is still just a dragon. He must be killed."

"Listen, you can bat those long lashes at me and walk your little seductive walk all you want, but no one tells me what to do and no one touches old Parthy. I've got dragon in me, does that mean I should die too?"

"He's got pig in him, too," Lydia said, "Should we roast him?"

"That's different."

"You wouldn't understand," I told Delphine, "Do you have any dragon in you?"

"No."

"Do you want some?" Wink.

"Consider the Blades off limits, Dragondork, until Paarthurnax is dead. Good day!" Delphine stormed away, dragging Esbern with her.

I turned to Lydia, "Was it something I said?"

"Yes, but this time, I agree with you."

I smiled.

"But you're still a pig."

I led Lydia out of High Hrothgar, 'accidentally' bumping into Delphine on the way down the steps, nearly sending her sprawling into the snow. Amid the Blade's more lurid curses I heard Lydia chuckling so it was worth it. The other leaders seemed to be taking their sweet time returning so I jogged past them. No one had anything nice to say as I jogged past and it made me regret having dealt with the frost troll on my way up. Perhaps they would be nicer to each other if they had to team up to fight the thing.

My thoughts seemed to be answered as I spotted another troll waiting in their usual hang-out. This one was not as ugly but definitely louder and given to fits of rage, so I assumed it was the female mate of the one I dispatched earlier. I wanted to just run by it to leave for Gang Grumpy behind me but Lydia could not resist using it for target practice. She probably just wanted to break in the steel plate armor I had just given her. So be it. I used my force shout to blast the thing against the wall, being careful how I aimed it. Lydia brought out her battleaxe and I laid into it with my sword and shield. Still the thing managed to get up and rake its claws across my shoulders and neck. I bashed it then backed up to heal. Lydia kept it busy and I finished it off with a shout of my fire breath. I had almost forgotten I knew that one.

Lydia sheathed her axe and gave me a nod, "Are you all right? That thing nearly took your head off."

I rubbed at my neck which still stung a bit. "I'll be fine, my healing spell works pretty good for a non-mage. Here, help me with this troll. I've got an idea."

It took us a moment to find the right place, but once done, we were both proud of the idea. We set off back down the steps, laughing and snickering like teenagers.

By the time we reached the bottom of the steps, I was not feeling as good as I had told Lydia. Despite going downhill, I was nearly exhausted. I had to keep snacking to keep my strength up. Luckily, it was already dark so we decided to hole up at the inn for the night. I ordered some food, but even talking about it made me queasy.

"Are you feeling all right?" the innkeeper asked, "You don't look so good. Kind of like the time that family of skeevers died in our water well. I tell you the whole town fighting over the last scraps of linen cloth that week."

"I'll be all right, just go easy on the spices, huh? Nothing too fragrant."

Lydia ate her usual mound of food and I pretended to have a sore tooth and settled for mashing up my potatoes and swigging two bottles of mead. I remember telling her I was going to bed, but if I made it there myself, I could not tell you.