Hissing, malcontent
Away with the glimpses of a normal life, what fled from Kakashi, what Kakashi lost in those days was the minimal chance of trusting in what he had, till that moment, called hope.
Shikamaru felt it – we can really say that Shikamaru not felt but rather calculated anything passing in Kakashi's mind, at least Kakashi's – and tried, obviously and as always, to produce a coping mechanism for Kakashi.
Their relationship was practically based on Kakashi's using Shikamaru's brain as philosophical calculator.
Shikamaru was contented with it; he felt that it was the right thing to do in the right place to be, and the time – that wasn't a matter of question: those who think they can choose the time do conceive different times, and Shikamaru's definition of "time" was "now".
He, we all know, refused to conceive, to believe, to picture, even to talk about anything ILLOGICAL – more than everything he refused to ACT in consequence of an illogical thing, which he neither could define a concept.
Yeah, Shikamaru was a normal human – there was nothing strange in this behaviour of his.
The strange thing on Shikamaru was his incredible speed of thought – how fast he was in computing, a lot faster than anyone else he ever knew, even more than his father and his teacher.
Shikamaru had never needed experience to understand, and therefore know, how a thing worked: it was all predictable by pure straightforward logic.
Kakashi got along really well with this Shikamaru's forma mentis.
He also felt it to be practically obvious that the two of them, were they to choose a single partner to live along with, would choose each other.
Shikamaru held this a bit more in question – of course we see that Kakashi was quite older than him.
Their ages were, at the time, around 28 and 16 respectively, and it wasn't an easy threshold to trespass for the youngest of the pair.
Not that Kakashi found it acceptable in itself – it was he and Shikamaru that was acceptable, since it would work.
Kakashi, after that shower of deaths he had been under, had become inert – completely passive, motionless, still, inactive – he was apt to be subdued by anything happening around him.
As defensive devices (how fucking hurt him that phrase now!) he had chosen, respectively for humans, events and things, introversion, cold mind and indifference.
Shikamaru had acted first than anything else before this swayed and fluttering forma mentis, and so this forma mentis had reacted to Shikamaru first; acting on it, Shikamaru bore in mind the fragility, the insecurity, the mutability of Kakashi's beliefs.
Thus he chose to accomplish a fixed point – a stated, certain centre.
The centre around which everything else moves: the fixed point, the way of seeing the world (Weltanschauung, as one of our Philosophers said) that HAS TO BE always THE SAME – simply as your face has to be the same, as your voice has to be the same.
The way of seeing the world, the view of the world has to be fixed, since the entire world – intended as universe, the existence or MATTER, simply, fuck it – MOVES CONTINUOUSLY. Therefore, to know where you come from and where is the direction in which you were going, you have to have a fixed point.
The suspension point of the pendulum.
So, Kakashi being an inertial frame, and Shikamaru playing the suspension point, this system yielded – precisely what Kakashi needed.
To rotate.
The rotation began as soon as Kakashi recognized Shikamaru as suspension point: as he began to rotate, he used this to compute.
Yes: he computed rotating.
He moved on a path, while he rotated: so he exploited the situation, exploited the circumstances, and on that path he began to pick up things – data – Meinungen: meanings.
Pick up a datum, pick up another datum, put them together.
Shikamaru was so fixed, so full of certainties, in his being the suspension point, that Kakashi's plane of oscillation followed perfectly the movements of the world around Shikamaru (that were exactly the movements of the world around Kakashi).
This means that Kakashi's rotation followed perfectly the movements of the world.
This meant that Kakashi didn't miss a point, that Kakashi always hit the spot; that Kakashi never misunderstood.
Kakashi followed the world perfectly, just as the pendulum perfectly follows, and then signs, in his rotation, the rotation of the earth.
The suspension point of the pendulum is the only FIXED POINT in the entire universe, the only POINT THAT CAN BE TRUSTED – that can never be missed.
"Thanks, Shikamaru".
Shikamaru smiled as he held the door opened for Kakashi – then he closed it and followed him to his desk.
He cleared his throat and opened their session with a newly-arranged issue:
"Have you thought about Guy being your first attendant and I moving in second place, Kak?"
"...No. I'm not thinking about it. I DON'T WANT to. You aren't going on battlefield, Guy is – I need you, not Guy. End of discussion. Moreover I need you – personally, I mean. What I mean is"
Shikamaru gaped at him.
"Kakashi...! That's quite a strange thing to say-"
"I only mean that his mind isn't as appealing as yours..." laughed Kakashi.
Shikamaru turned suddenly serious, afraid perhaps of giving offence by continuing the conversation in a style a bit too humorous – a false step to be particularly guarded against by those who converse with monarchs.
They had still and again to talk about Orochimaru's hunt.
As Shikamaru watched Kakashi, choosing the words, their eyes met, and something flashed between them. It was something they couldn't define, but it was something really fine.
Of course, in the meantime, Shikamaru was computing.
"Well.
The girls have begun to look for that piece of shit around, but for the moment there is no news.
The fact is that more than three weeks are passed – Kakashi, I believe that in the meantime we should contact the Kazekage.
He's a Jinchuuriki too, he will of course be interested.
More than that, we need international inquiries and the aid of their intelligence – I want to know who the fuck is behind this story!
There's some country behind the Aka, Kak.
And what does this shit of a 'Tobi' want? We should go the Sand Village, Kak...believe me."
"I have a strange feeling about leaving the village.
Something's like, telling me, don't go don't go don't go don't go! But I WON'T send you alone. If you go I come."
"It should be the contrary, Kak...actually, who do we leave in charge?"
"Tsunade said NOT DANZOU.
I was thinking about Asuma or your father. Is your father already in action down there?"
'There' was an unspecified place out of Konoha.
All of their troops were hanging around in the countryside and widening day by day their range of patrolled ground, looking for Orochimaru.
"No, no, he's at home.
Tsuni wanted him to be a second to me or something like that. I didn't understand."
"Well, he'll be second to me. He and Guy take our places, until we come back from the Sand Country.
Let's call the both of them".
Kakashi then stood up and went to the bathroom.
He came back after having washed his face and had a sudden enlightenment:
"But, Shikamaru!"
In the same moment Guy and Shikamaru's father came in.
Kakashi went on:
"Two spots with one shot, Shikamaru.
Tell the squads to look for Akatsuki's hideouts.
Deidara said someone was in contact with Orochimaru, inside the Aka – they may have left something somewhere...and look also in all their hideouts to know everything we can about them. Clear?
That guy, Deidara, make him map everything.
Then I want to strengthen our communications with the troops on field, and we have to find a way to avoid being espied...but how, how, how...how could we?" said he while reflecting.
Shikamaru's father intervened:
"I got it. We have to use written communication. Clear?
Then we can codify it...with Shikamaru on the one side and someone like Neji on the other..."
His son replied:
"Naa, Lee...
Lee for codifying and decoding. He's always been skilled in maths...and things – stuff.
Great. Now, the two of you.
Kakashi and I are going to the Sand Country to involve them and get their help – and their intelligence and their allies. You, Paps and Guy Sensei, will replace us.
The sooner we leave the better it is.
Paps, you will also have to forward us the communications from the people on field...oh, we have to update the orders, Kak.
Everyone on field connected...clear. Hello everyone, it's me, Shikamaru.
Important news.
You will be given instructions to reach Akatsuki's hideouts.
You have to look therein for information on Orochimaru and on the Akatsuki.
A single squad will continue to look for Orochimaru, I'll – we'll send Deidara to transport them.
The mentioned squad is formed by Sakura, Hinata, Tsunade, Neji.
Besides, we are preparing to change our mean of communications – in some days we will only exchange written information.
Lee, to you personally: you will be our referent, okay? You'll have to decode and codify the messages."
"Clear, Commander!" answered Lee proud.
Tsunade interrupted them, commenting: "The hell is Kakashi there for? You're doing all his work..."
Kakashi opened the mouth to reply, but Shikamaru did it first:
"HEEEEEEEY – I don't want these things to be said on Kakashi, right? By the way, he's done all the work, I simply repeated it!"
"WHOAH, kid, calm the fuck down and tell me not what I have to do, clear?" answered Tsunade, baffled.
Kakashi tried to intervene: "You two, there's no need, Shik just calm down too, she's"
"I'M HIERARCHICALLY YOUR COMMMANDER IN CHARGE and YEAH, I tell YOU what you have to do!"
The tone should have been serious, but Shikamaru couldn't help laughing, while he spoke.
"Of course until Kakashi wants it." he ended.
Kakashi , puzzled, burst out:
"HUH, 'cause now it's all MY responsibility, yeah?"
Tsunade laughed and didn't reply to Shika – who ended the conversation laughing himself.
Guy was still looking Shikamaru, baffled – he really couldn't justify those two outbursts in Kakashi's defence. He looked puzzled at Shikamaru's father, who commented:
"Yeah, that's how he's always all like at home.
Kakashi here and Kakashi there and but Kakashi said and if Kakashi does and you can NEVER touch HIS
Kakashi, NEVER.
You know, Shikamaru has never got the courage – like me – to reply, not even to think of contradicting, to his mother.
Yesterday she said something like that Tsunade said, 'you're doing all his work, why are you always there' and Shikamaru simply destroyed her.
I don't know then where he got this perfect control of rhetoric and dialectic, but he's able to put trap questions everywhere.
I noticed" laugh "the more his mother quarrelled like – you know – women do, the more he got upset."
Shikamaru nagged: "They always go on saying this bullshit like that Tsunade said.
I fucking hate women's way of quarrelling."
Guy didn't comment and watched alternatively Kakashi and Shikamaru.
At the phrase 'HIS Kakashi' he had simply frown.
Kakashi didn't even think about Guy, about anything else than his Shikamaru's caring for him and smiled.
They accorded on their leaving the very same evening.
Guy managed to be fifteen minutes alone with Kakashi, when Shikamaru went home to collect the things he need to bring on the journey.
"That's quite strange, that boy's behaviour, isn't it?"
Kakashi was distracted, he was lost in his thoughts. "Mh?"
"No, I'd say...your behaviour is strange too. You're both acting really strange, Kakashi...and then, he's calling you Kak? Didn't you hate being nicknamed?"
"He can do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm thinking that it should be reversed, instead...the fact is I'll need
Shikamaru's brain in the Sand thing. I'd prefer that you came...I don't feel safe at all about that place."
"Well...couldn't I come there too?"
"And who stays here? Everyone's out! No...you have to do this, were it only to do me a favour, Guy."
"Okay, okay. I'll just sit here waiting for you, as you wish. But I wanted really to have a talk with you...before you go, I mean. This Shikamaru thing..."
"OH, c'mon Guy, what do you have to mind about Shikamaru? Actually" he changed voice, now speaking lower, hissing a little "this is not of your business. Isn't it?"
Guy stared at him with that black frown again.
"And what should I report to Anko, so?
Three weeks she's asking me every time we meet 'where is Kakashi then?'
She told she has come here fifteen times and you never gave her the permission to come upstairs, you always left her down like an idiot.
KAKASHI! The fuck is happening to you?
Once you would at least simply tell her 'WE BREAK UP!'.
You've become – alright I know everything – but I thought, if you're together with Anko, you should try to feel better staying with her, isn't it?
So, the fact that you're staying ALWAYS with Shikamaru – is it true that you have even reserved him a room here?
I mean, it's"
"He never used it until now, and however MIND YOUR BUSINESS!" Kakashi managed to interrupt Guy, speaking even faster than he.
"ALRIGHT, I mind MY business!
Tell me what should I reply to Anko."
"That it's over, since you would obviously tell her this the same."
"HUH, I would tell her.
It's not that it's this the same, yeah, Kak? You see it annoys you?
When I do it it annoys you, when Shikamaru-kun does it it's alright. I don't know what to think, Kakashi, really.
I at least thought-"
"Could I at least know why the fuck are you messing in my private business?"
"HE'S 16!
Doesn't this remind you of something called LAW?
16! Clear?"
"He's enough intelligent to control and be responsible of"
"OF WHAT?"
Guy stood up, grabbed Kakashi collar and pulled him near to himself.
Kakashi held Guy's wrists tight and got a fucking threatening facial expression. He syllabified:
"Guy.
Mind only your fucking business and let me think of mine, alright?
Don't involve Shikamaru and NEVER spell his name again.
You'll have something to complain about if you don't stay on your ground. By the way, why does it make you angry? He's 16 for you, too" he laughed.
Of course, this was a joke.
Of course, Kakashi had understood – of course, this was way to make peace.
But Guy didn't understand.
He suddenly left Kakashi and said, disconcerted:
"You –you think that I –but fuck it, didn't you get – I was talking – but, Kakashi!"
Kakashi laughed wholeheartedly.
It was like having a puppet in front of you. Guy was helpless.
Kakashi laughed and stepped to him, hugged him – but like friends, clear? – then left him and was there to say something.
But the door opened and Shikamaru came in, smiling.
"I made them prepare your bags too, Kak."
"...Thank you."
They prepared their squad to escort them, only five people.
Kakashi was right in believing that he and Shikamaru couldn't be targets of no one, since no one knew yet that they governed Konoha, nor that Konoha was in such a trouble.
Okay, the truth was that Kakashi and Shikamaru were taking for granted some things: like the fact that Tobi wasn't a Sand ally, like the fact that Orochimaru had kidnapped the boys, that Orochimaru and Tobi still weren't allies – first of all, that the SAND COUNTRY WOULD HELP THEM.
And, of course, that in their country everything would go on well.
Forgetting that the archenemy, Danzou, was still there and alive.
Before they left, the Ninjas had never presumed that something like that could happen in their society.
And in fact even we Europeans didn't foresee it nor conceive it – but it happened, the same.
Danzou collected all his forces and attacked Shikamaru's father – he killed him, Guy was imprisoned.
The coup d'état took a single night to change Konoha from head to toe.
The Uchiha clan lost politically, legally and humanly ANY right.
The negation of every freedom and the establishment of the dictatorship were simply things that no one could foresee, first of all thinking that the entire people, after Orochimaru's break-in, had really enjoyed being in peace.
But scarcely after the Ninjas arrived to the Sand Country the political situation in their own land changed – at all.
Obviously they didn't know it – they couldn't know it – communications were broken immediately.
They were also thinking of completely different things, and didn't worry for a moment about that incredibly remote possibility.
Not once in their entire lives had they believed that their people could do such an enormous non-sense.
There had always been different political views among them, but they had also brought them to peace through compromises.
Now the peace was threatened, and with the cooperation of the entire society, who had decided to bring the conflicts to war and to be completely deaf to prayers.
Not a single moment did men or women or youths try to discuss over the changes that were operated on their society, or at least to think rationally, in the proper sense of the word.
To solve their problems immediately, they had decided to dissolve their opponents.
For this sake, they thought that the best thing was to destroy the peace and never let it be again.
They had also decided that their state needed to change, and not for good.
What practically happened was that the rights of a part of the people, a small percentage, were deleted, completely deleted.
After this, it became completely impossible – even unbelievable – to come back to the origin of that fucking idea, that some humans weren't worth being humans.
The restriction of the rights had immediately had effects on the government's behaviour towards the people: the dictatorship became more and more violently oppressive, the violence became a habit, every citizen could be deprived of his rights, of his properties or be simply killed through violence.
The military violence signed the state, and only in the first days the Constitution, laws and morale were forgotten.
The Ninjas who had left the country alone to go to the Sand Country were now the only ones who could save their country; so, when they came back, the oppressed ones (actually the survivors from Uchiha clan) hoped they would save them or protect them.
This would have been completely impossible if those Ninjas had come back by themselves; but, luckily, the Sand had agreed to help Konoha, and a big part of the Sand Army had come with them.
Though the dictatorship had been so strong, in its using violence, it lost all its courage when in a real and thorough War, and feigned a battle while it tried, with all its members, to leave the country.
Their efforts were all vane, since the "sandy" Army annihilated them all, and made sure that none of them survived.
But the ultra might of the Sand Country and the violence of the dictatorship had overlapped, in the people's view; they could simply not consider the liberators as saviours – the liberators were foreigners, and the foreigners never want the wellness of the state.
Moreover, the sandy Army had used much more violence than that of which the dictatorship had been capable.
The people, now, wanted simply NO VIOLENCE, no dictatorship, no conflict and only peace and freedom.
A soldier from the sandys said that it looked "like people una tantum had menses and they must spill a shitload of blood."
Konoha's Ninjas couldn't help agreeing.
But a few of them could neither convince themselves that their own people could do something like that.
The whole issue was too strange in itself, to believe in it.
Something wasn't right, and it was evident.
Something wasn't right, and it was a big something.
In the whole thing – the violence had been too strong, too big, too violent – too concentrated.
Why then all of this all of a sudden? Hadn't this problem been there for decades?
Why then now, when they all had other things to think about, to solve, to reflect on and think about, why then now?
Why then had this explosion of violence become a dictatorship? O
h yeah, clear, but this was obvious.
If this international situation came to a war, a dictatorship was the only government that could guarantee the protection of the people and the state and the land and – at any price – a safety.
Even if the people had been mostly erased (but from their own dictatorship, not from the enemy) in the end, the State would resist – the State would be left over – with the benefit of hindsight, this choice wasn't so much senseless.
But this didn't, of course, mean that a part of the state could erase the other part.
And this, then, was something that Konoha's people could NEVER be convinced of, without – and there was the issue, now – external interference.
But WHO, which Nation would support this dictatorship and this violence – for what?
Was Konoha's situation not dangerous enough?
Was it not clear enough, before this war, that Konoha was scarcely able to protect itself?
FOR WHICH SAKE had all this shit happened?
The dead were uncountable, Konoha was nearly completely annihilated – destroyed.
WHO WANTED THIS – all clear.
Yeah.
The only one.
The only one, who could –
„OROCHIMARU!"
„WHAT?" screamed Guy as reply.
"What?" asked a calm voice, laughing.
Kakashi turned and saw HIM – THERE – in the middle of the street – the only man, who – come on, 'Man'...being who could plan this catastrophe –
"YOU! OROCHIMARU!"
"Don't look me in that way. If it had been me to put up this slaughter I wouldn't be here now, ISN'T IT?"
"..." Kakashi growled and said nothing.
Kakashi was the Hokage – practically, he was the King of that city.
And he could scarcely allow himself to leave it – he had left the government in Shikamaru's father's hands and now government, Shikamaru's father and his hands had been extinguished.
TRUE – he hadn't proofs against Orochimaru – TRUE – Konoha's constitution (former constitution) said that also evident criminals should have a trial – TRUE – but Orochimaru was ALREADY an enemy of Konoha – ALREADY A CRIMINAL – and really...Wait a sec...
"WHY THE FUCK are you here? You think I won't arrest you?"
"Of course.
Have you forgotten that – uhm – I am the only one Ma-being able to help you against the Akatsuki?"
"Where is Naruto?"
"That is exactly why I'm here.
Tobi has brought me the corpses of Naruto and Sai – he wanted also to make an alliance with me, but I really CAN'T STAND that guy.
In the end I came here to make an alliance with you.
And moreover, this guy wanted to know my Kabuto – uhm – nearer.
And also if my Kabuto isn't prone, for the moment, to love m- OH HI! Who are you?"
Shikamaru looked him, gaping, baffled, and then looked Kakashi – whose face was becoming blacker and blacker, the more Shikamaru lingered before answering.
Finally Kakashi cleared his throat and Shikamaru winced, only to stutter:
"Ah, yeah...I am...the son...of the man, the substitute of the Hoka-Kakashi..."
"Huh.
Your father's dead.
Hum, Kakashi, say, know you that – Obito – yeah, Obito, Tobi, Kakashi" he smiled "couldn't believe me when I told him that you are Hokage? And he's also said-"
"WAIT WAIT WAIT"
"YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH I know, Obito here Obito there Obito up Obito down.
He's only the shadow of the man he used to be, Kakashi.
He's killed your Naruto. And also Sai.
And I can swear you, Kakashi, that he told me that he hasn't raped them both only because he isn't able to do it anymore. Kaka-"
"The fuck did you just say?"
"Well yeah, apparently it's become a mode..." went on the other, watching his nails.
"Actually Hidan and Kakuzu have raped the boys.
I'm sorry, Kakashi.
But I wanted to tell you one thing, this come first in truth, in this – international slaughter.
I can absorb Tobi's chakra like I did with Itachi and Jiraya.
And I also heard that you believed that I had kidnapped the kids.
No problem for me, but – the corpses...couldn't you take them? I can't go around with them all the time..."
Kakashi didn't answer. He fell on his knees, moaning.
Shikamaru, instead, asked:
"WHO did all this brothel?"
Orochimaru held a vulgar answer back and gave him another:
"Akatsuki.
More precisely, Obito, Kakuzu, Hidan – I really wish to kill them all soon – and many others.
They came from different nations – I also believe I saw a man that I thought I had killed...now, this is a special technique, called Edo Tensei.
It resuscitates the dead ones. Good, isn't it?"
Shikamaru gulped.
"How's called this man there? Do you know him?"
"Yeah.
I also think that your Jiraya knew him. He's called Uzumaki, Nagato Uzumaki. Nicknamed Pain."
"Pain...?"
Kakashi moaned violently.
Shikamaru paralysed – frozen – all of a sudden.
Wait.
What had Orochimaru said? What happened to his Fa-
Shikamaru knelt down.
Orochimaru laughed – sad.
Yeah, sad.
Something, in this situation, in these circumstances, something changed in him – something called:
'I can't stand it. I don't want to stand it. Please stop. Halt. STOP IT!'
What got on his nerves that way?
What was this nerve?
'This SLAUGHTER...this word is repulsive. LOATHSOME WORD. Infamous word. I hate this word.
I HATE ALL OF THIS!'
„STOP CRYING!"
Kakashi was baffled, but he obeyed.
Then – complete silence.
Dead silence.
Then Kakashi raised his head and said:
"No, Orochimaru. No alliance."