The Talk

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING

Oh and probably not something you would want to read if you don't fully understand the concept of the birds and the bees yet. Basically, MATURE LANGUAGE!

"I hope you to can be more civilized this time, we'll come back for you in a while. Don't make me miss anything while we're gone!" Sings Kol as he shoves the two of us into the study.

"Niklaus, do refrain from breaking that table, it is an antique, it was also a gift from the queen." Elijah says as he closes the door.

"You know that I'm never going to forget what you did to my friends." Caroline states quietly as she stares into Klaus' eyes. He nods once slowly, waiting for her to continue. "But I will try my best to forgive you. So… What did Hayley mean when she said 'you should suffer, after what you did to him, death would be too easy'? What happened to her anyway?"

"You've thought about this a lot haven't you?" he says chuckling before he lowers his eyes. "She was… a mistake. A very clingy and annoying one night stand, but not the first, I usually kill those though. Definitely not worth all that trouble it took disentangling her from me. She thought it mean more than it really was, sex. She loved the idea of being mated to the alpha. She thought we would be 'mates for life' or something. I believe she was under the impression that I would turn her into a hybrid, she left after I killed the doppleganger. She thought you were stealing me away from her, seducing me into a trap. Not that I minded 'a little blonde distraction.'"

Caroline looked down when he mentioned his sexual relations with her, but couldn't find it in herself to be angry over something that happened over 500 years ago. "I'm assuming she died?"

"I don't know, I've never felt the need to track down a one night stand after she left."

"Seriously though Klaus, Hayley? I thought you'd have higher standards than that." she says giggling.

"I was bored and she was there. She had information, nothing else to it." he retorts.

"The great and powerful original hybrid, selling his body for information. I'm shocked. He's resorted to prostitution, shh! Don't let anyone else hear, this will tarnish your reputation forever!" she teases playfully.

"What about you love? If you haven't been with Elijah, then who else has been warming your bed all these years?" he clenches his jaw as he thinks about Caroline with other people.

"Oh, they've been in and out. I've been too busy traveling to be thinking about a relationship." she lies, knowing that she had had plenty of time to search for a boyfriend, but something had been holding her back. She finally admitted to herself that it was feelings for Klaus when she thought about the devastation she felt after Hayley told her about being Klaus' mate. He had put her through too much for her to tell him this easily though.

"Any boys in the present?"

"How do you know that it is a boy? I may have given up on all members of the opposite gender sometime during these past years."

"Well I should hope not, it would be too much of a shame for any man to have lost their chance, albeit tiny, to gain your affections." blushing at his words, Caroline looks carefully at him trying to understand the meaning behind them. Maybe it had been too much to hope for?

"Why didn't you try to contact me during the past 500 years sweetheart?" he whispers looking down.

"Why didn't you try to contact me?" she retorts, despite being happy that he had wanted her to.

"I thought you didn't want me to, I was respecting your decision." he replies.

"Nikl-" She begins, "sorry, I've been spending too much time with Elijah."

"Oh yes, my noble older brother," he says bitterly, "how did you end up with him as your traveling companion?"

"After someone destroyed the only home I had known up till that point, I went to him, and he took me in. We've been best friends forever ever since." She explains.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't hold a grudge? How did you find him though? He'd been under the radar at the time, even I didn't know where he was."

"Well, I had asked Bonnie to perform a tracking spell on him after he vanished without a trace. I figured it might come in handy. My first choice would have been you, had you not been the one who left me without house and home."

He grinned when she mentioned that he had been her first choice outside of those in the small town they both spent their human years in. "Tracking an original love? Do you have a death wish?"

"Yes," she says with her best poker face, "there has just been this pesky original who has always stopped death before it reached me." She watches as his face falls when she says it before breaking into a grin. "I'm just joking Klaus, I'm grateful for all those times you've saved me, both physically and emotionally." He grins back at her, a genuine grin, one that only came out around her and his family.

"Do you realize, this is the nicest you've ever been to me?"

"I'm really sorry about all those times I've played a distraction, I really am."

"I'm sorry too." She looks surprised, probably because this is the first time she has ever heard him say those words. He continues, "for giving your friends the excuse to put your life on the line."

"Don't worry, they probably would have done it anyway. I think that if it wasn't for being in love with Elena and Stefan's interference, Damon wouldn't have let me live that long anyway. Collateral damage right? I mean, killing me would probably count as one of the most merciful things he would've ever done to me. I mean, anything is better than being a human blood bag and being drained while having no idea vampires existed because of compulsion. I wonder if I would've lived up to this age if they were all still alive, probably not." she mumbles mostly to herself, her eyes drifting as they filled with tears.

However, Klaus was an original hybrid, the original hybrid, and he had impeccable hearing. His entire body stiffens and he clenches his fists as he hears her speak. He watches as she finally realizes where she is, blushing as she realizes what she just said. "I only wish that I had made him suffer more for as I killed him."

"Oh god Klaus, I shouldn't have said that! I mean he's already dead right? He's happy and with his love." She exclaims mortified at what she had revealed.

"Which is more than he deserves…" he mutters.

"So… What have you been doing with yourself?"

"Well seeing as how my family had seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth, I mostly stayed at home, enjoying the art of wrestling." He says suggestively, winking at her.

"You sir, are worse than Kol."

"I know. Let's call a truce for now." He says, "I highly doubt Elijah would leave you out of family nights, and we'll probably be spending a lot of time together."

"We were friends once, we can be again. If you'd like…" she offers.

"That would be amazing love." After he says this he turns and watches as an exasperated Kol appears opening the door.

"Come on you two! KISS ALREADY! I ship you two so much! THE FEELS!" Kol, unbeknownst to them, had become quite a fanboy sometime in the years they'd been apart. He had discovered early on that he loved the way girls dressed in anime conventions. He had also tried joining a nudist colony, but had gotten kicked out for making too many inappropriate gestures toward the many young girls. He joined another one a few years later, but much to his dismay, found that it was filled with men who tried to rape him as soon as they saw him. And as far as the police were concerned, a colony that had never existed.

"Kol. Get out of here before I-"

"Oh Nik, we're not back to the dagger threats are we?" he teases.

"Just get out Kol!" yells Caroline.

"Very well, I know when I'm not wanted." says Kol, with a look of mock hurt on his face.

"No you don't…" sings Caroline as he shuts the door.

"So love, lets start over again." suggests Klaus

"Blank slate." agrees Caroline.

Oh god, I am so terrible at forcing myself to commit to doing something…