Junk and Treasure
America firmly believed in "One man's trash is another man's treasure". I mean, he bought seemingly useless or vintage crap all the time, thinking it was the best thing since sliced bread. This usually happened when he was visiting Rome or California in the Bay Area, because he was subtly influenced by the overwhelming amount of hipsters there.
(It should be mentioned that the Bay Area in California has so many hipsters, that a decent amount of them don't even realize that they are hipsters, because everyone around them is a hipster and they can't tell the difference between a hipster and a non-hipster)
So anyway, Alfred was in his Bay Area (San Francisco to be more precise), cleaning out his apartment of junk. Specifically, Roman junk.
Oh hey, Alfred thought excitedly, picking up an Empire style pilum that was propped against the wall of his closet. I forgot I had this! He eagerly shifted into a proper stance and mimicked throwing the javelin, before bringing it back to inspect it more closely. With a proper cleaning, I can donate this to the weapons stash. And with that thought, he tossed it into his "Good" pile on his bed. He had a large wooden crate next to the bed with large painted letters spelling, "DONATE (MUSEUEM)" on the side.
Alfred tossed some darts in the DONATE box, Manica armor went on the bed, Calvary helmet was immediately tossed due to the fact that it never failed to mess up his hair. His Spatha, gladii, and pugio were instantly placed into the good pile. After some rummaging, Alfred pulled out a...Hasta? Alfred squinted at it. Pulled down Texas to examine it even further. Why the hell did he have a Hasta? The things were barely used anymore. Compared to gladii, they sucked. Still wondering why the fuck he still had the old Roman spear, Alfred heard a knock at his apartment door. Hasta forgotten and still in hand, Alfred trudged out of his bedroom to the door and peeked through the peephole. It was Germany. With...documents. Fuck.
America opened the door. "'SUP DUDE?!" He exclaimed, inwardly crying over the fact that the German had brought work with him. "I was just gonna make some good ol' American style hamburgers! Want some?" Germany's eyebrow twitched. "Nein." America shrugged. "Whatever, bro-"
"Please, America. Do NOT refer to me as bro."
"-So what'cha here for?" America finished, totally ignoring Germany's request to be never referred to as bro. I mean, Germany. Please.
"These documents are essential for the next world meeting, and it is crucial that you look over them- Is that a Roman Hasta?" Germany demanded, ice blue eyes going slightly misty and shiny at the sight of the Roman weapon. America blinked. Looked down at his hand holding the spear. Oops. Better do some damage control.
He propped the Hasta's base on the ground and leaned slightly into it to give a air of nonchalance. "Yeah. You know, just doing some cleaning." He remarked in a (fake but still buy-able) breezy manner. "No big deal. Totally unherioc, I mean, I already have, like, six gladii and they're way cooler, man." He flicked the spear end to make his point. America shrugged casually. "You know. Whatever." Sadly, that entire speech was actually the honest truth for America. However, America was surrounded by Roman weapons, armor and culture so often that he usually forgot something very critical.
Other people weren't. To other people, all the stuff he had were historical artifacts, and worth lots and lots of money.
And don't even get started on how he treated Ancient Greece's stuff. It usually went along the lines of "Oh hey, Aphrodite's hand mirror- OH MY GOD, IS THAT THE LATEST IPHONE?!"
Anyway, America finished his little speech and looked back up to Germany. Who was staring at him, face blank and eyes totally glazed over. America titled his head. "...Germany?"
Eyes still shiny with a distant disbelief.
"Geeerrrmaaaannnyyyyy?" No visible change.
America decided physical contact was needed.
And so, America poked Germany's eye because it was just so shiny and blue. (Like Freedom!)
"Scheiße!" Germany roared, hand over his right eye. America grinned. "Sorry dude! But you were totally freaking me out right there."
"Excuse me for being a little shocked over such a blasé attitude towards a priceless historical artifact." Germany growled. America blinked innocently and then smacked a hand to his head. "OH RIGHT! I'd forgotten all this stuff was actually priceless!" He laughed loudly to Germany's shock. "Man, it's all just useless crap to me!" Shaking his head in amusement, America continued to chuckle. "So, I need to sign those documents?" Germany's mouth opened and closed wordlessly, back to staring longingly at the Hasta.
"...Taking that as a yes." America muttered, taking the documents from Germany's hand. America stared as Germany continued to stare at the Hasta, and then glanced back down the the European's hand, which was still in the air and in document holding position. America glanced down at the Hasta. Eh. Was gonna give it away anyway. With that thought, he shoved the Hasta into Germany's hand, said, "I so don't owe you a birthday present anymore, dude," and closed the door on Germany's face.
After this, Germany stumbled back to his plane, and flew home in a numb stupor, carrying the Hasta the entire time. It was only when he walked inside his house, put his keys in the little dish by the door, did it fully hit him that America had very casually given him a priceless artifact from the Roman Empire, Germany's idol.
He proceeded to freak out for 10 minutes, before running to get his cleaning tools and made the Hasta very shiny and pretty and boss looking once again. He then mounted the thing on his mantle, little stands holding the spear up so it lay horizontally above his fireplace, and looking pretty badass. Germany felt very happy.
Of course, two days later, when he opened his newspaper, he promptly spat out the coffee he was drinking over the article about an 'anonymous donation' of at least two dozen rare Roman artifacts that were given to a local museum in San Francisco late last night that was conveniently located only two blocks from America's apartment.
America never understood why Germany kept trying to talk about Rome with him after that, and frankly, it was making both himself and Italy uncomfortable.
But hey, at least he got rid of all that old junk.
A/N:
It is canon that Germany is a fan of the Roman Empire. This can be seen in the 2011(?) Halloween Event when Germany dresses up as the Roman Empire for his costume. It's kinda weird, but hilarious.
An common headcannon for Hetalia is that all of the nations fly to other countries on private planes. Hence, security does not tackle Germany and confiscate the Hasta when he is trying to leave.
All weapon information is found on Wikipedia:
The pilum (plural pila) was a heavy javelin commonly used by the Roman army in ancient times
Darts: Late infantrymen often carried half a dozen lead-weighted throwing-darts called plumbatae (from plumbum = "lead"), with an effective range of ca. 30 m, well beyond that of a javelin. The darts were carried clipped to the back of the shield.
Manica: From early Imperial times to after the fall of the Western Empire, some troops wore segmented armour on one or both arms.
Gladius is the general Latin word for "sword". In the Roman Republic, the term 'Gladius Hispaniensis' (Spanish Sword) referred (and refers today) specifically to the short sword, 50cm-60cm (24 inches) long, used by Roman legionaries from the 3rd century BC
A pugio was a dagger used by Roman soldiers. It was probably a sidearm
A spatha could be any sword (in late Latin), but most often one of the longer swords characteristic of the middle and late Roman Empire
Hasta is a Latin word meaning a thrusting spear. Hastae were carried by early Roman Legionaries; in particular they were carried by and gave their name to those Roman soldiers known as Hastati. However, during Republican times, the hastati were re-armed with pila and gladii and only the Triarii still used hastae.
The definition of a hispter:
The greatest concentrations of hipsters can be found living in the Williamsburg, Wicker Park, and Mission District neighborhoods of major cosmopolitan centers such as New York, Chicago, and San Francisco respectively. Although "hipsterism" is really a state of mind,it is also often intertwined with distinct fashion sensibilities. Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too "edgy" for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer. The "effortless cool" urban bohemian look of a hipster is exemplified in Urban Outfitters and American Apparel ads which cater towards the hipster demographic...More at Urban Dictionary www. urbandictionary define. php? term= hipster&defid= 2705928 (subtract the spaces)