Dear Jed and Matt,
Well, here we are in Siberia. I hope that you are not terribly angry at me for running off the way I did. Please understand that I was terrified of losing my husband so I did the only thing I could. Yuri promised me that we would be safe, and I believed him. He led me to believe that we were going back to Canada. Instead, his friends brought us here and crashed the airplane into a tree in the forest. I was so scared, guys. Toni and I both were. We found an abandoned building to stay in until we could be rescued. We ran out of food and had to go foraging for nuts and berries.
Finally the police found us and took us to the hospital. All of us have some degree of frostbite, but luckily nothing serious. I kept quiet and let Yuri and the others do all the talking. I don't know what he told them about me, but they must have believed it. At least, I hope they did.
I'll write again as soon as I have a permanent address for you to write back to me.
Love,
Erica
Dear Jed and Matt,
After a week on the train, we've finally arrived at Yuri's family's farm just outside Moscow. I've just met Yuri's parents, Leonid and Lyudmila. Leonid is a small, soft-spoken man with curly gray hair and dark brown eyes. His full name is Leonid Mikhailovich Shikov. That's because his father's name was Mikhail. Yuri told me that. Lyudmila is of medium height and chubby, with dark brown hair and green eyes like Yuri's. She's more talkative and energetic than her husband. Sometimes Leonid calls her Lyudochka. Of course they both make a big fuss over Toni. I suppose they're nice enough to me, but we can barely understand each other and communicate mostly through gestures. Yuri has to translate all the time, of course. In some ways Leonid and Lyudmila remind me of Tex and Willa Jean. It feels weird to say that, but it's true.
Sonya and Felix live in a very nice apartment in Moscow. They both do some kind of government work. I'm not supposed to know anything about it. Like, who the hell am I going to tell anyway? Sonya is only five days older than me. She's very nice and speaks English quite well, as does her husband. They both make a big fuss over Toni too. I enjoy visiting with them but I always feel like I'm walking on egg shells over there because I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing and get turned in for being a spy or something.
Things are just so different over here! The food, the music, the movies, the TV shows, everything! I want a Big Mac from McDonald's so bad right now I could just about die! I'm getting pretty sick of cabbage soup and borscht. It's soup made out of beets, which I hate! Fish is OK, I guess, but all the time?! I do have to admit, though, that blini is really good. It's just like pancakes smothered in butter. Yummy! Yuri kids me and tells me that I'm going to get so fat eating blini that I'll have to get all new clothes. Not that there are any to choose from over here anyway, but that's a whole different story. I could actually write you volumes on that subject, but I don't feel like going there right now. Suffice it to say that if I ever make it back to an American mall, I think I'm going to come back with about a hundred new outfits.
There are busts of Lenin everywhere. I guess they want to make sure nobody forgets what he looked like.
Toni seems happy enough, but of course she's too young to understand. Lyudmila bought her some tiny ice skates and is taking her for lessons at the rink. Says she's going to be ready for the Olympics in a few years. My daughter, the Olympic champion. Wow!
Well anyway, I miss you guys like crazy. This place feels like prison sometimes. I don't know whether I can ever forgive Yuri for deceiving me like he did. The one bright spot in my life is Toni. She can make me smile when nothing or nobody else can. I feel grateful to Yuri for her existence, and I guess I do still love him anyway in spite of it all.
Love,
Erica
As the weeks became months, Erica's initial feelings of anger and helplessness dwindled into a kind of dull resignation. Her daily routine of helping Lyudmila with the housework and farming and caring for Toni became monotonous and almost robot-like. Her relationship with Yuri began to change in subtle ways. He became secretive and controlling with her, demanding justification for nearly everything she said or did while becoming incredibly tight-lipped about his own life. "Why you want to know?" was his typical retort every time she asked him a question.
One day she noticed him looking at her with the sad expression that had become typical for him lately. She looked at him questioningly.
"You are not happy here," he said quietly.
"Of course I'm not happy here!" she practically shouted. "I miss being able to walk down the street without having to worry about who might be watching me! I miss not being able to watch what I want on TV, read what I want, or say what I want! I miss my home!"
"If you want to leave, I will not stop you. You are an American. You can go wherever you want."
"And how would I get back?"
"I could have my friends take you to American embassy."
"And what about Toni?"
"She will go with you as well. I will not separate mother and child, although I will miss her because I love her very much as well." Erica saw that there were tears in his eyes and suddenly felt guilty and ashamed.
"I couldn't do that to you," she said softly. "She needs you too...and so do I. I love you, Yuri." She reached for him, and he took her into his arms and held her without saying anything.
"Besides, I think I'm pregnant again."