Gamer

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"What the hell have you done to the tree?!"

"I have no idea what you mean."

"So you have no idea why it's suddenly bright pink and covered in cheese?"

"I think you'll agree it gives it a little extra something."

"...Why cheese?"

"It seemed fitting."

"Just change it back before anyone else sees."

"If you insist." Kakashi enjoyed the pink sparkly madness for a few more minutes before switching it back to the dull green monstrosity it was once more. Not to the mention the many tacky baubles.

It was Christmas Eve and Kakashi was a little in awe of the whole thing. As far as he could see it was a holiday to celebrate a man living thousands of years ago who became a zombie. Not exactly unusual where he came from but apparently not too common in this world. Although it seemed like just an excuse to eat too much and get presents.

He'd only found out that he needed to buy a present two days ago when Shisui and Itachi had dragged him out the house to go shopping. Hopefully Obito would like it although he didn't see the point in giving him a present when he already had an amazing boyfriend. People were strangely unappreciative of that kind of thing.

"I still think the tree looked better my way."

"You would. Damn I can't believe Christmas is tomorrow."

"Isn't it the same day every year?"

"Smart ass."

"I still don't see the point in it."

"It's an excuse to eat too much and get stuff, what could be better?"

"It seems more like something aimed for children though."

"Well Santa is more of a kid thing I guess."

"Santa? What's that?"

"He's a fat old guy who delivers presents to every child of the world on Christmas Eve."

"Presents?"

"Yeah, he flies with his magic reindeer and shit and climbs down the chimneys of houses."

"...So he breaks into houses to see sleeping children? I thought that kind of thing was illegal?"

"Santa does not go around sodomising little kids! Get that thought out of your head."

-Page Break-

It was early in the morning that Kakashi was woken up by a strange noise. Obito was still snoring and so never noticed anything, but above the din he could hear something odd. Creeping out of the bed and opening the door slightly allowed him to hear footsteps going across the lounge floor.

It appears that the paedophile is here. He might be able to get away with this in other people's houses but not here and not today. It was surprising that the man wasn't even bothering to be quiet despite the fact he wasn't meant to be here and it was very easy to sneak down the stairs and into the kitchen unseen.

The shadowy figure had his back to Kakashi and was going through the cupboards picking out bits of food. Clearly he was more daring than originally thought. He was also careless, making it easy to bash the back of his head with a frying pan. A little over the top maybe but it was the best way to deal with these kinds of people. Kakashi lifted the man up and dragged him into the lounge where he could get a better look at him. It was a little different from expected. Instead of a strange red pervert, he had caught Shisui.

...Ah. That may be a problem. Although he could be some kind of shape shifter... Deciding it was better not to risk it, he got a bit of washing line from the cupboard and some cloth and bound and gagged him before dumping him on the sofa. Even if it was only Shisui it would serve as a deterrent for anyone else trying to break in.

-Page Break-

Obito had been hoping for a lie in but sadly this was not to be. Instead he was woken up well before midday by his mother screaming.

"What the hell?!" He hopped out of bed and stood there trying to get his brain to work.

"What's going on?" Kakashi sat up rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know, mum just started screaming."

"Ah."

"What?"

"You'll find out in a minute."

"... What did you do?"

"I thought I heard this Santa person coming in so I knocked him out with a frying pan and tied him up on the sofa."

"You did what?! There's no such thing as Santa! It's a kid's story!"

"Oh... Well that explains it."

"Oh god, what the hell have you done?"

"I thought it may have been a shape shifter."

"Who did you knock out!?"

"...Shisui."

"...I'm gonna have to see this." Maybe it was a bit harsh but Shisui could be a dick sometimes and it was always funny to watch your brother get what's coming to him. And he had to laugh when he found his mum trying to cut the bindings off.

"It's not funny you little shit!" Shisui looked majorly pissed which of course made it much funnier. Kakashi walked up behind him and tried to look innocent. "Stop staring at me! Get the fuck out!"

They had to flee up the stairs when he got his arm free and began launching every object within range at their heads.

"You really should've told me that it was only a story."

"Well how the hell could something like that even be real?"

"You keep forgetting where I come from."

"That is a good point... And seeing Shisui tied up like that was well worth it."

"Too true. And do you want your present now? I was told I had to get you something."

"Really? Hell yes!" Kakashi handed him a carrier bag. "...Did you even bother wrapping it?"

"Is it really that important? I got you something, enjoy it."

"I wrapped yours! But fine, I'll take anything." He gave Kakashi a small package wrapped in bright blue paper. Obito dug into the carrier bag and pulled out a pair of orange goggles with grey ear protectors. "Goggles? They look cool but that seems a little random."

"I thought they'd suit you."

"They're awesome, thanks! Open yours!" Kakashi pulled off the paper to reveal a bright orange book.

"Icha Icha Paradise?"

"It seemed pretty perverted so I thought it suited you."

"... I think I might start this now."

-Page Break-

"Prepare yourself. This is probably the worst part of the whole damn season."

"I would've thought you'd love eating stupid amounts of food."

"It's not that I hate, it's the fact that I always get stuck sitting next to Bratsuke."

"Don't worry about him; we can have some fun with that later."

The room was pretty crowded with both their family and their cousins grouped round the table. Aside from the fact they'd had to scrape the burnt parts off the potatoes it all looked pretty good. Itachi and Shisui had cleverly sat far away from Sasuke so that the little scroat got to annoy Obito continuously.

"Leave my food alone!" The little shit kept stealing his food and covering his plate with half eaten vegetables. Not to mention the kicking. There was probably a reason he was acting up so much but he really didn't care. It was annoying.

"Pssst. Bakakashi?"

"Yes?"

"Deal with the little shit for me?"

"If you insist."

The next time Sasuke went to poke Obito, a Brussels sprout flew across the table and smacked him in the face. He looked confused and tried to find the source of the missile only to have another one hit him in the back of the head. Obito had to stifle a laugh, especially as Kakashi was pulling one if his butter-wouldn't-melt looks. It got progressively funnier too as the more Sasuke bothered him, the larger the thing that hit him. Next were the carrots, then the broccoli, followed by the potatoes.

Sasuke got frustrated then as he knew Obito was causing it but he had no way of proving it so he did what any pissed off nine year old would do and kicked his cousin in the balls. Kakashi would not forgive the mangling of his favourite organ and revenge was swift. Shisui went to cut off another piece of turkey only to see the whole thing shoot off the table and straight into Sasuke, knocking him off the chair.

Obito had to duck under the table so no one could see him laughing whilst Sasuke was crying and insisting it was somehow Kakashi's fault. After dinner they sat on the sofa with smug grins whilst Sasuke gave them evil looks.

"That was without a doubt the best thing you've ever done. And quite possibly the best Christmas too."

"I still don't see the point in this holiday but if you're happy then I suppose it's good. I better get at least a kiss for this though."

"Fine." And Sasuke was once more put through hell as he had to watch them fondling each other for a good ten minutes before he dashed out the room.

I wanted to try some Christmassy fun so here it is ^^ Sasuke had a lot of shit in this chapter but after babysitting my evil 4 year old cousin the other night I was in the mood for some anti-child XD Thanks for reading and I hope y'all have a great Christmas :3