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Piper

"Oh," said Leo stupidly, staring at Will blankly. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "What was being claimed, again?" he asked.

Will face-palmed.

"You know what? Never mind," said Piper, stepping in for the save. "Could you be kind enough to finish your tour, Will?" she asked sweetly.

Will scratched the back of his head, speechless, as if Piper had just asked him out on a date or something. "Uh…sure," he decided, and Piper noticed that his eyes were a little glazed.

"What was that?" Leo asked as they walked, Chime perched on Piper's shoulder motionless.

"I dunno," said Piper. "I just have some kind of effect on people, when I ask them things."

"Like the time you talked the dealer into lending you his car," said Leo. Piper bit back an excited and desperate "YES!"

"Whatever," she said instead. Changing the subject, she asked, "Who do you think my parent is? I hope it's Artemis. She's so stealthy and cool and awesome."

"Good luck with that," said Will. "Artemis is a maiden goddess. She doesn't have any kids."

"Oh," said Piper, dejected.

"Don't worry, though," said Will as if to cheer her up. "There are other cool goddess, and if you really wanted to meet Artemis you could join her Hunters."

"That sounds cool," said Piper. "So the Hunters, like, hunt?"

"No, Piper," lectured Leo with a sigh. "They sit around a campfire drinking tea and squealing about how gorgeous their members look like in bikinis and gossiping about guys and how cute their pets in sweaters look."

Piper rolled her eyes. "So what other goddess are there?" she asked Will.

"Athena," said Will, "but she's probably not your parent since all her kids have blond hair and gray eyes. And Aphrodite, and Nike, and Hecate, and Aphrodite, and—"

"Wait," interrupted Leo. "There's a goddess of afros?"

Will face-palmed again. "You could get into some very serious trouble with the gods by saying that," he warned. "And no, Aphrodite doesn't have an afro. Well, I guess she could if she wanted to, being a goddess and all, but that's not the point. Aphrodite is the goddess of love and beauty. Most of her children are rude popular kids who do nothing but gossip all day, like Drew."

"Drew?" asked Piper. Even the name sounded mean and rich when Will said it.

"Yeah," said Will. "Don't wanna mess with her. You'll recognize her immediately; just look for the scent of rich perfume and a girl abusing her makeup. She also has charmspeak, the ability to…let's say, persuade intensely."

Leo nodded as if he got it. "Beware the cute afro girls," he said. "Got it."

Piper nudged him. "Leo," she scolded quietly. Leo half raised his hands in surrender, half shrugged.

"But not all the kids of Aphrodite are evil cyborgs intent on ruining your social life," continued Will. "Take Lacy for example. She's a nice girl."

"That's good," said Piper. She would have said more, but that was when they reached the archery ranges. A guy in a wheelchair was teaching some kid how to shoot an arrow properly. He caught sight of Will, Piper and Leo, and left the troubled demigod to wheel over to them and talk.

"These the new kids?" he asked Will.

"Yes, Chiron," Will replied. "Leo and Piper. Leo's already been claimed—Hephaestus cabin."

"And I assume Piper hasn't?" the wheelchair guy—Chiron?—inquired. Will and Piper both nodded.

"Well, then, Piper, I'm sure you'll be claimed at the campfire tonight," Chiron said. "Will, can you take Leo to the Hephaestus cabin? I need to talk to Piper. Privately."

-o-O-o-

It was only after dinner and during the campfire that the pair of friends met up again. "Some day, huh," said Leo as Piper sat next to him. "The Hephaestus kids are really nice—they gave me some gold coins to buy some new stuff, and they explained the whole god/goddess concept to me. What did Chiron want to ask you?"

"Just some normal stuff," she replied casually. "Which gender does my mortal parent belong to, where I come from, who is my mortal parent, things like that. He also explained the Greek god thing too."

She didn't tell him what else Chiron told her.

"Claimed yet?" asked Leo. Piper shook her head.

"Tonight," she said. "Hopefully." She fanned her face. "Did you have to choose a place so close to the flames to sit? I feel like I'm melting."

"Oh," said Leo. "Really? The heat doesn't bother me too much."

"Well, it does for me," Piper, said, grabbing Leo by the upper arm. "Let's go somewhere farther away from the fire."

Some half-horse, half-man creature came out. Piper didn't know why she was so startled—that day she had seen the guy who flirted with her become a wind monster, her gym teacher become half goat, green-fleshed girls that made homes in trees, a dragon that guarded a pine tree as its job, and a camp full of kids who trained to fight monsters with real swords and knives.

"Welcome!" the horseman called out. With a shock, Piper realized that it was Chiron.

"Leoleoleoleoleoleoleoleoleo," Piper said quickly, tugging on his arm. "It's Chiron!" She pointed with her free hand.

"No, really?" Leo asked sarcastically. "I noticed, Piper."

So they roasted marshmallows and made smores. They had a sing-a-long, singing a song about the day some demigod killed drakon, which Piper found disgusting but fun to sing about. It went something like—

Hey, hoe!
Grab your knives and swords!
We're gonna go out to kill-a-
Brute-to-day!

Slash… Left!
Slash… Right!
Just be careful
Not get killed!

Slash… Left!
Slash… Right!
Just make sure you
Dis-in-te-grate it good!

Then there were four more verses along with four more repeats of the chorus, but Piper didn't remember it all. She was sort of glad she didn't. Most of the couplets didn't even rhyme or make sense.

She kept waiting to be claimed, like Will said she would, with a desperate hope. But she knew it was unlikely, after what Chiron had told her. But the campfire finally ended and Piper still had no idea who her godly parent was. She sighed and made her way back to the omega of cabins dejectedly, Leo following her not too far behind.

"Why aren't you claimed?" he asked. "Will said you'd be claimed tonight."

"But I wasn't," said Piper miserably. "Why wasn't I?"

Leo didn't say anything for a while. "One of my siblings said that all demigods have to be claimed by thirteen—some sort of promise they made to this kid a month ago or something."

"But I'm already passed thirteen," said Piper, feeling much like a toddler about to have a tantrum. She resisted the urge to stop walking and stomp her foot in frustration. "Why am I not claimed?"

"It's okay," Leo comforted. "Whoever your mom is probably is a jerk for not claiming you."

"Thanks, Leo," said Piper, sighing. "I guess I better go to the Hermes cabin, then." They stopped at the camp store to buy a last-minute toothbrush, and Piper walked to the Hermes cabin alone.

It was spacious, to tell the truth, but worn down. Its dull brown-yellow paint was chipping from the walls, and even though it was big it looked as if there used to be many campers there, and there still were, but not as many as Piper expected judging on the size from the outside.

"Hey, new kid!" someone called from the top of a bunk. Piper turned to whoever it was, but he had already leaped off the bed and landed in front of her. The boy pointed to himself. Piper judged he was about a year older than her.

"The name's Connor," he announced. "Cabin counsellor with my brother, Travis. Who're you?"

"Piper," she told him simply.

"Claimed or unclaimed?" Connor continued.

"Uh…not claimed," said Piper. "Yet," she added.

"Cool," said Connor. "Until you're claimed, though, you'll be calling this place home." He squinted at her. "Say…aren't you a little old to be unclaimed?"

"I, uh…" Piper didn't know what to say. "I guess I am," she decided.

"Okay," said Connor simply as if he could believe it. He turned back toward the bunks. "Well, lucky for you we have a spare bunk right at the back, near the washrooms." He pointed down an aisle. "Well, other than that, well done for getting here alive." He cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled, "ALRIGHT, CABIN! CURFEW IN TEN MINUTES!" Then he wandered off to break up some fight two younger kids were having.

Or to join it.

Probably join it.


Ha, ha, typical Stoll.

And I tell you, there is a reason why Piper was not claimed...yet. She will be, but I was thinking about it while I updated this am I told myself that I wasn't going to turn this story into a plot-less fic that just went on and on forever with no actual intention. So I thought about it intensely, and I came out with this.

I troll you. But not as much as Rick does.

Review, and vote at the paradox poll! Paradoxes! WWHHHOOOOOOO!