Looking back on it, he has no idea why he ever thought it was a good idea. Taking her to the destruction of her planet on her first trip? Not his best idea. So why did he do it? Did he expect her to be okay with all of it, talking trees and bitchy trampolines and a giant head in a jar all gathering to watch the earth burn, for fun? She had just come from working in a shop, for Rassilon's sake. A stupid little shop in 21st century London. To go from that to seeing her entire world burn . . .
And nearly burning herself. How did she get stuck in that room in the first place? He never asked. He was too busy running around with Jabe, trying to figure out what was going on. Then the Steward died, and everything went to hell. The unmasking of the Adherents of the Repeated Meme, Cassandra's confession, all the guests beginning to roast. And did Jabe really have to die? She was resourceful and clever, not nearly as clever as him of course, but clever enough for a tree. She figured out who he was, helped him get through to save the others. When he looked back and saw her begin to burn he nearly lost hope. He was ready to just stop there, let the place burn. What was one more ship of greedy, arrogant aristocrats? He had offed a whole planet of greedy arrogant aristocrats. But then his thoughts went back to Rose, stupid Rose, clever Rose, ever-so-brave Rose. So he stepped past the last fan (he hadn't tried that trick in a while; he was really thankful when it worked instead of cutting him to ribbons) and pulled the lever, resetting the ship and saving everyone. Or so he thought.
In the end, only four people lost their lives. The blue mechanic Rose ran into was the first; she mentioned her later when they were eating chips. The Steward was the second. Then the Mox Of Balhoon, and finally Cassandra herself.
Everything has its time, and everything dies.
He believes that. Of course he believes that. The Time Lords would have died eventually. He just sped it up a bit, and saved the rest of the universe in the process. Thats what he tells himself at night when he wakes up soaked in a cold sweat, the screams still echoing in his ears and the images of the flames etched onto his eyelids for him to see every time he closes his eyes.
Maybe thats why he took her there. He wanted to show her that even when everything died, it wasn't the end. Maybe he was really trying to show that to himself.
Maybe he wanted her to feel the same way he did, just for a bit.
Maybe he wanted someone to understand.
Maybe he was being cruel. He didn't correct her when she said she was the last human: he knew about New Earth. He could have told her about all the billions of people there, living there part-human lives. But he didn't. He could have stopped at the New Roman Empire, showed her the sights there instead. But he didn't.
Maybe he was trying to scare her. No, not just scare her. Scare her off. She was too young, too innocent, too pure. He wanted to show her the worst he had to offer so she would leave. He didn't want her to be corrupted by him and his universe. He wanted her to go back to her boyfriend and her chips and telly and stupid ape life. But she didn't.
She was horrified, yes. She was terrified and alone and she nearly died. But she didn't ask to leave. So he took her back to her time. He was going to drop her off, yes, that's what he would do. That's what he told himself he was doing.
But instead he found himself taking her hand and telling her about the Time Lords, about the War, and then they were eating chips and she was laughing again and he found himself smiling without really knowing why. Back on the TARDIS, as she goes to find a room that has been prepared for her, he spins them into the vortex and watches as she disappears out of the console room. And he realizes that his plan has backfired on him. He can't take her back now, not after this. Because she can make him smile and laugh now when nothing else can. She's stronger than he ever expected, and she's got a hold on his hearts now. So when her astonished laugh echoes down the corridor he just smiles again and reaches for a lever, wondering whether she like Dickens.
So I wrote this just a few days after the first chapter, on my iPod. Then the iPod broke, and the file wouldn't transfer to my new one. So I wrote it on the computer, and it didn't save. Then I wrote it out on paper, and it got thrown away. Now I've finally got it to save and everything, but since I rewrote three times, it isn't exactly my best work. No flames! I did my best!