"I'm so sleepy," Darcy whined from bed, blinking wide, tired eyes at him.
Loki frowned. "You've been sleeping for a week now."
Her plush pink lips pouted and Loki had to tear his eyes away from them, uncomfortable with the direction his thoughts started to head. But she had lost the pallor of fever, and now the way she was sprawled out in bed, the sheets haphazardly tucked in at odd angles revealing a sliver of her belly as she lay on her side...
"Hmm?"
Darcy huffed. "I said I'm starting to feel more like Sleeping Beauty than I've ever wanted."
Loki just shrugged, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall. Sometimes she said things he didn't quite understand. So he would look them up, later, when she slept. Sleeping Beauty. He filed it away in his brain for later. He had found out about the Edward she was always talking about and had not liked him.
"I need a shower. I feel so gross." She ran a hand over her braid and whimpered. "How do you get knots in a braid? Ugh..."
Loki swallowed, definitely not thinking about Darcy bathing. Naked. Darcy. Bathing. "There is a lake I can take you to."
She pursed her lips. "A lake? No...no showers then?" She asked hopefully.
Showers. He filed this away in his brain too, to research later. "No."
"Okay," she said, disappointment clear. But it disappeared soon after, replaced by eagerness. "Well whatever. Can we go now?"
He nodded, uncrossing his arms and striding towards her.
Oh help, Darcy thought. How could anyone be so attractive? He had an edge of borderline serial-killer that should totally not work for her, but the intensity of those eyes... Dear lord.
She swallowed tightly, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks. Here was sex-on-a-stick stalking towards her as she lay in bed, and she probably looked horrible. She had barely been out of bed in the past week and when she had, she'd not had the energy to feed herself, let alone worry about her appearance. But oh, she was making up for lost time fast...
He scooped her up out of bed and Darcy squeaked, suddenly being held in the arms of the most attractive man she'd ever seen. She was just starting to appreciate the strength running through his hard, lithe body, the scent of him teasing her nostrils, making her want to bury her head in his neck and breathe deeply, when all of a sudden they were outside and she was fighting a wave of nausea.
Please don't throw up on the sexy god, she begged herself. Please please please.
Thankfully the nausea passed a few moments later and Darcy could focus on the new scenery. The lake Loki had taken her to was small, but lovely. The water was clear, and beautiful- unlike the lakes back home. There was a small strip of sand circling it, and the comforting scent of pine needles from the trees that dotted it's edges.
Loki set her on her feet slowly and Darcy couldn't stop herself from leaning a hand against him for a moment. For balance, she told herself self-righteously. But oh my, how hard his chest was...
"Umm. How is this going to work?" Darcy asked, suddenly realizing that bathing would mean not wearing clothes, and she didn't really know how she felt about being undressed in the presence of a man she found horrendously attractive.
Raising a brow, he said, "You'll have privacy, if that's what you're worried about."
"Ah," Darcy blushed, looking at her feet rather than his face. His gorgeous face. "Great. Yeah that's...great."
He nodded over to the lake. "Do you need anything? Soap? Clothes?"
"And a towel would be nice, too," Darcy mumbled to her feet.
"I'll be back in a few moments," he said, and Darcy blinked when he vanished a second later. She didn't think that she'd ever get used to that- someone just being able to disappear in an instant. Just in case, she poked the space he'd used to be.
Nothing but air.
Shrugging, she walked down to the water, surprised by how greedy she was for the feel of sand beneath her toes. A week being inside really made you appreciate a change of pace.
She drew a deep breath of the fresh air, inhaling the piney, woody scent with pleasure. The water wasn't cold to the touch at any rate as she walked into the shallows. It rippled and lapped at her feet delightfully and she found herself grinning. Even knowing she probably looked horrid, she felt amazing.
Reluctantly deciding to wait for Loki's return before going in, she contented herself with digging her feet into the smooth, wet sand while she waited.
Loki was glad for his ability to make himself invisible as he visited a Midgardian store and took the things he needed. There were a dizzying array of soaps and clothes available, but Darcy was waiting for him, so he just grabbed things without paying too much attention, eager to get back. As he was about to depart though, his eye caught sight of the most intriguing display and he stopped, unable to look away.
Flimsy pieces of fabric hung up for all to see, sheer lace... He ran a hand over his mouth. Was this what Darcy wore under her clothes?
The thought had his breath coming raggedly.
Dazed, he returned to the lake, clutching soap and clothes in clenching hands.
"Hey! You're back!" Darcy grinned at him from down by the water. He could only shove the items towards her, feeling his face grow hot. Was she even now wearing garments like he'd seen in that store? "Umm. Okay. Thank you for this," she said, taking them. "Really. I'm dying to get into that water."
He nodded sharply. "I'll just...be over here," he said, walking into the trees a little.
"Okeedoke," she chirped brightly, and he tried to ignore the rustling of clothes as she undressed. A sharp yelp had him spinning around though. "Ah! What the fuck!" she cried, clutching her shirt to her waist, leaving her breasts bare but for the sleek black brassier that paid homage to them as his hands suddenly wished they could.
He swallowed heavily.
"Turn. Around!" She yelped indignantly.
Reluctant, he did so. "You made a noise," he said defensively.
"I stepped on a fricking pinecone! Jesus. No need to call the National Guard."
National Guard. He filed it away for later.
"Don't even think about turning around again," she said. "Or I'll...be angry," she huffed, somewhat deflated. "I don't know. I'll do something. Something bad. Something really bad, and-" she sighed. "Is it just me or does that sound sexual," she muttered under her breath and he got the clear idea that he wasn't meant to hear it.
"It's not just you," he said, grinning when she groaned and mumbled about, "Stupid gods with their stupid godly hearing who'll get what's coming to them in the end."
He liked that about her. That she talked back to him. That she was so comfortable needling him. Yet it was never unkind, as jokes at his expense had been in the past. She was like a rowdy little puppy, play-growling and nipping, but it was all in fun. It was a novelty to Loki, who was so used to the biting edge that typically laced people's remarks to him.
Soon he could hear her splashing in the water, and was frustrated to find himself growing hard at the thought of Darcy. Naked. In the water. Her plump breasts bobbing as she washed herself. All. Over. And he knew how clear that water was...
He groaned, struggling for calm. And struggling not to palm his hard length and gain a bit of relief. All he could think about was the pale, creamy skin of her belly, her legs, how her bra had molded to her perfect breasts...
"Do you need a hand?" He found himself calling. Or two...
She stopped splashing. "Umm, no?"
He bit his cheek. "Just checking."
Darcy was going to hell. It was too bad, really, but there wasn't much she could do about it at this point.
She wanted him. Like, a lot. She was so unused to the feeling that she was overwhelmed now with conflicting urges to tie him down to the nearest bed and have her dirty, dirty way with him- and also to hide under the nearest bed and never see him again ever ever ever.
The look in his eyes though when he'd seen her nearly naked... She shivered, her nipples hardening.
And then he'd asked if she needed a hand, and her first thought had been 'what, just one?'. And he hadn't even tried to peek again! Which was good. Really. Seriously, it wasn't like this was going to go anywhere. She was going somewhere. Home. She was going home, and soon, and she wanted to cry with all the tears of the sexually frustrated because she'd finally found someone she was attracted to and he was so fucking confusing and complicated and she didn't know if she'd be able to just sleep with him even if he wanted to, which she thought maybe he might, and...
She splashed the water angrily, but it was supremely unsatisfying. Huffing, she went back to washing her hair, cursing herself for forgetting to ask Loki for a comb.
Something brushed by her leg and she jumped, looking down and nearly having a heart attack.
"Loki!" She shrieked, flailing out of the water. "What the fuck is that!?" It was huge.
She didn't even have time to feel embarrassed about standing naked, dripping water in front of a man she kinda maybe sorta wanted to jump before said man had tossed a towel at her and sprinted down to the water to see what she'd been yelling about.
Darcy wrapped herself in the towel protectively, shivering at the memory of being touched by that thing.
"Darcy..." Loki said, brows raised in confusion. "It's just a fish."
Darcy snorted. "No it's not."
"...But it is."
"I know what a fish is, Loki," she snapped. "And that is not a fish. It's a fucking whale. Did you see it? It's like three feet long!"
She did not like the way Loki was looking at her. Like she was a child who couldn't grasp a simple idea. Glaring at him, she stalked back into the trees, taking her clothes and calling over her shoulder, "You could have given me a warning, is all I'm saying. We don't normally have whales in our lakes where I'm from. It took me by surprise."
"I didn't think to mention," Loki said, as close to apologetic as she'd ever heard him come. "This is normal here. Most lakes have a family of Jib fish. They're harmless- they just eat algea all day. It's why the lakes are so clear."
"Hmm." Now that the shock had worn off, her cheeks were starting to pinken at the memory of how ridiculous she must have seemed.
And he'd seen her naked.
Oh god. She definitely wanted to hide under the bed. Forget about jumping his bones. Forget about everything. She must have made such a fool of herself...
"I need to change," she said, trying not to let him see how embarrassed she was. "Shoo."
He put his hands up easily, backing away and walking back down to the water.
Darcy dressed quickly, disturbed by the intensity of her attraction to him and eager for the protection of clothes. Unfortunately, he seemed to have just grabbed random articles because the shirt he'd gotten for her was extra large, and she had to tie it at the waist so that it wouldn't fall off of her shoulders. And the pants...not even close. Maybe if she was still fifteen...
Sighing, she looked at the jeans she'd been wearing for the past few days. Reluctantly, she put them back on. Next time Loki was gonna get clothes for her, she'd just have to insist she come with him, because seriously you had to try this stuff on sometimes because-
Darcy had been picking up the various objects that they'd brought when she straightened suddenly, all of it falling from her hands as she realized that she'd recognized everything he'd gotten for her. The shirt had a tag on it for chrissakes, clearly proclaiming it as made by Gap.
Incredulously, she stalked down to the water. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
Loki turned, brow raised, and Darcy felt her own mood get darker at his play of innocence.
"'Oh no, I can't take you to Earth because the moon says I can't,'" Darcy mocked, doing a poor imitation of his voice.
"Midgard," he inserted quietly.
Darcy glared at him. "What the fuck ever. The point is, that clearly you can because you just fucking got back from there!"
His face turned arch. "Suddenly you know everything about my powers?"
Darcy just kept glaring at him. What the fuck was he doing? Why was he making her stay here when he could just bring her home? Why!? And she'd actually liked him- beyond just wanting to sex him.
She was so furious at both of them.
He sighed, as if doing her a huge favor by explaining. "As it turns out, it doesn't work like that. When I travel alone, nothing holds me back. But without the moon to aid my powers, I could no more take you with me over that distance as I could take a baby."
Darcy looked at him suspiciously, but annoyance was so clearly written on his face that she was inclined to believe him. But...
"I don't know. It seems pretty fucking convenient."
"More inconvenient, I should think." And the look he gave her was so long-suffering that she felt a little stung by it. She wasn't that bad, was she?
"Hmmph."
"May we depart now?" He drawled. "Some of us have things we actually have to do."
Darcy rolled her eyes at him. "Your powers can handle the distance then?" She asked snippily.
Again he raised an eyebrow. She was starting to think that it was his signature look. "I got you here, didn't I?"
Whatever. "Shut up."
His lips turned up at that, and she felt herself smiling back, a great wave of relief chasing her annoyance away.
She'd have to just take his word for it about the moon. And why would he lie? She asked herself.
Why would he lie?
"Are you avoiding me?"
Loki braced himself for the sight of her before raising his head from his hands. Still his breath hitched to see her in the doorway, frown pulling her face into an image of pouting perfection.
In fact, he had been avoiding her. Because he wanted to be near her too much.
She unsettled him to the point where he didn't even know who he was with her anymore- somehow able to tame him into a ridiculous little lapdog just by being in the same room with him.
But he wasn't as benign as she seemed to think he was. Ever since the day at the lake he'd been unable to look at her without imagining her naked- water dripping down her sensuous body, a vision of lush femininity...
He scowled at her, trying to deny the way his body hardened even now. "Believe it or not, my life does not revolve around you."
He scowled even harder as she pursed her lips. Perfect, pink lips he could get lost in for hours. What would they taste like?
"- so bored. What am I supposed to do?"
He shrugged. It mattered little to him.
Her eyes narrowed, giving her face a feline cast. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," he said, standing from behind his desk and brushing past her, suddenly desperate to be outside, away from tempting fantasies of dragging her over the desk and kissing her senseless.
Fresh air. Fresh air would help.
She followed him out though, of course. She smelled like lemons, and woman, and he wanted to growl with frustration because she would never want him and he seemed cursed to long for the unattainable.
"Why does everything have to be so difficult with you?" she asked, but her voice was curious, not angry.
"It's not." And it really wasn't. He set goals and then he found ways to achieve them. Right now he needed for her to stop distracting him from them, because she was dangerous to his commitment.
Darcy laughed, making him want to puff up with pride that he had made her laugh. Instead, he scowled at her and picked up the ax that had been laying against the back of the tower. He picked a good-sized tree and began chopping, hoping to work off unfulfilled sexual tension through the chore. Besides, it wouldn't be summer forever. Autumn was nearing and winter would not be far behind. He was never cold in the winter- it never got close to as cold as Jotunheim in Asgard- but Darcy was mortal and she would be grateful for the warmth.
She settled to the ground a few feet away from him and seemed content to just watch him. He felt her eyes on him like hands, and chopped at the tree all the harder. Before long it had fallen and he was then chopping it into smaller pieces.
"Couldn't you do that with magic?" She asked some time later, nibbling on a long stalk of grass.
He shrugged, and she rolled her eyes, throwing up her hands in a gesture of surrender.
"Okay, okay. You'd think I was trying to wheedle secrets of the state out of you. Yeesh."
Technically, yes, he could do it quite easily with magic. But he needed the strain on his muscles. Needed to feel the burn of productivity, of strength, the sound of wood splitting. The physical diversion from his wandering mind.
She chattered on at him about nothing in particular as he worked, birds chirping every so often, and Loki was surprised, hours later, to realize how much of the day had gone by. How calm he felt. How in control.
When he finally lay the ax down it was with an inner sense of peace that he was quickly beginning to crave.
Darcy had dozed off, leaning against the back of a tree. Twilight had started to fall, and Loki scooped her up, greedy to have her in his arms. Unable to resist kissing her forehead, though aggravated with himself once he had, because what if she woke up? What would she think?
But she didn't wake up, and he carried her to her bed, reluctant to leave but forcing himself to; so close to just crawling in bed with her and curling up closer to the new, addictive feeling of serenity.
Restless energy filled Loki as he resisted the urge to pace. To fidget. To move. Magic lay under his palms, and it was such a struggle not to just let it pool in his hands; not to just let it climb up and down his arms and play with it as it demanded.
His heart was so heavy with memories and violence that he would be overcome by them if not for the knowledge that Darcy was only a moment away, sleeping.
And when had she become his anchor?
"I had no idea," Griffin was saying, his red eyes wide and sad. "I swear to you I had no idea."
"I know." Loki turned his back on his half-brother, allowing himself to walk around the large courtroom. A tapestry caught his eye and he frowned, pausing there. It was of a dance. Frost Giants were spinning all around, snow falling as they whirled, wide smiles on their faces.
He hadn't known Frost Giants danced. Violence, anger, shame- these were the things Loki associated with being Frost Giant.
"I brought that one up from the vaults," Griffin said, noticing the object of Loki's attention. "When our father was king, he never would have allowed it. His vendetta ate him whole; he could think only of war and vengeance."
Loki swallowed roughly. I'm not like him, he reassured himself, mind filled with Agda's cold blue eyes; wings above him, his flesh ripped from bone; agony that went on forever. I'm nothing like that madman...
"It pains me to have been part of his insanity," Griffin was saying, and Loki clawed his way out of memories, relieved not to have given his lapse away. Griffin may be related to him by blood, but trust was another thing entirely, and Loki just couldn't afford to trust. "I've made it clear to Odin and Frigga that now that I am king, I consider the conflict between our lands to be in the past. I want to look to the future, and I hope that-" he sighed. "Given time, at least, our people may one day call each other friend. Or brother."
Loki almost couldn't look him in the eye, Griffin was filled with so much hope that it was nearly painful. But he did it. He even smiled and clasped Griffin's forearm and said, "I think that day will be sooner than you believe," and Griffin flushed happily.
If Loki felt a wave of guilt then he shoved it aside. Everything was for a purpose.
Griffin became somber though, and the sadness returned to his eyes. "Was there a service for him?"
Loki had to take a deep breath. "I don't know." Because he hadn't been there.
"By all accounts he was the best of men. His is a loss that will not be forgotten. I will never be able to forgive myself for it."
Loss? What did Griffin know of the loss that Baldr had been? Loki thought acridly. But he pushed the thought away, annoyed.
"You should not blame yourself," he said tiredly. He had not expected to be so overwhelmed by this visit. He'd thought he could pull it off without the memories nipping at his throat, but they were relentless. He was so tired of it. So very, very tired. To sleep- that was what he wanted right now. Just to sleep. To wrap himself around Darcy and sleep, her breath against him, warming his skin. Thawing the numbness that seemed to encase him.
"Should not blame myself?" Griffin laughed bitterly, scrubbing a hand over his pale blue face. "It was my blade that killed him. Who else should I blame if not myself?"
Loki shook his head. "It was war," but secretly he blamed Griffin just a little bit too. "If you're laying blame, put it at Laufey's feet. If not for him there would have been no war at all."
"It was by my hands though," Griffin said stubbornly. "They will never be free of the taint. Family is sacred."
Loki raised a brow. That was a bit much. "He was not your family, Griffin. You shared no blood. You had not even met. He was no one to you."
"But he was brother to you," Griffin shot back.
"He wasn't though." His tongue felt like lead. "Not really. The blood in my veins is not the blood that ran in his."
Griffin shook his head impatiently. "There are more ways to be brothers than blood, Loki. It is not the only thing that family is made of. He was a brother to you, and you are brother to me- which makes him brother as well."
Loki frowned, turning away from the disturbingly intense sincerity of Griffin's voice, back to the tapestry. Frost Giants would never have been able to weave such a light-hearted, happy scene as this. Not from what he'd been taught of them.
Griffin clapped his shoulder roughly. "Family is sacred, Loki. I am glad that you came today. It would honor me if you would come again. My halls are your halls, brother."
A tightness pinched Loki's chest. Everything to it's purpose...
"I would like that," he said.
Everything was going perfectly. Betterthan expected, even.
So why did he feel so guilty?
He didn't climb into bed with Darcy, much as he wanted to. She was too dangerous. The closer he got to her, the less he wanted to leave. Not to mention the fact that she'd probably throw him out.
As nice as she was to him, as funny as she was- she didn't want him. She wanted to go home. And he wanted- no, needed, revenge. He needed to put his past to rest before it swallowed him as it had his father.
Perhaps madness ran in his blood.
He wouldn't let himself climb into bed with Darcy, but neither could he stand to leave her room and face the night alone. So he slumped to the floor and settled in against the wall, ready for another morning of waking to an aching back. But he could sleep at least.
With Darcy close, he could finally sleep.