Luckily, the name of the forest had stuck with her, or she would have been hopelessly lost, even with the maps. The Forest of Souls. It was creepy enough to be memorable in it's own right, but being accused of being a minion or some such had a way of sticking with you anyways, and she remembered Loki's...crazypantsness from the first day.
She kept expecting him to show up all pissy and whisk her off, back to his lair. But he never showed up, and she knew it was a ridiculous thought anyways. He was probably relieved that she was gone.
The trees loomed even tighter above her than she remembered, and when an owl hooted somewhere in the distance she shivered, heartrate spiking at the surprise.
"At least it's not raining," she grumbled darkly to herself. "Yet."
Her feet were aching after walking for hours over the uneven forest floor. It had grown too dark to see as night had fallen, and so she'd stopped for the night and had an apple before trying to rest.
The problem was, she wasn't tired. If she wasn't so afraid of getting herself completely lost then she'd have just kept going. But she wasn't even sure if she was following the right map. There'd been like three different ones with the Forest of Souls marked on it, and they all looked a little different. And if she was following the right one, it wasn't as if it was incredibly detailed. It was hand-drawn, of course, and she was hoping that it had been done to scale. Because that would mean that she thought she wasn't too far from the eastern edge of the forest, where there was a small town that would hopefully have someone who knew how to get home. And if they didn't...well. Apparently the capitol was a decent ways away from there, and perhaps they'd know what to do. Although, she thought, crinkling her nose, they'd named the capitol of Asgard Asgard. And just...why? At least Mexico's capitol was Mexico City.
So she lay on the forest floor, huddled into a ball, and tried not to think. About Loki, or about her kids, or how horror-movie-esque the forest was, or how there were creepy-crawly things all around her even if she couldn't see them...
An owl hooted again and she groaned.
"This is not ideal."
She didn't sleep that night. She'd finally given up trying, and had leaned back against a tree trunk. It wasn't much, but it was better than the ground.
First light had her on her feet again, feeling much like a zombie but happy to be able to do something finally.
The forest was agonizingly circular and similar, so that there were about a hundred times that she had the terrifying thought that maybe she wasn't making any progress at all and was instead simply wandering around in a hopeless loop.
But luck was on her side, and a bright, clear blue sky greeted her departure from the forest. Darcy blinked at the brightness. Looking over her shoulder, she shuddered. It was as if the forest was night and finally she had found day, the lighting differences were so extreme.
"If I never see another tree, I'll be happy," she grumbled. Turning back towards her destination she smiled, relieved to see what had to be a town not far away.
"And now to see a wizard," she sang wryly, rubbing tired eyes. "A wonderful wizard of Ozgard. Asgard. Whatever." And she set off for the town, a spring in her step, trying not to think about how she'd already left one behind.
He was actually sweating with fear.
Darcy had left. There'd been such a hollow ringing in his ears when he'd seen her note.
It had astonished him, how surprised he was that she would actually leave. What had he expected? She was not, as she'd told him, playing around.
And yet he'd never thought that she would actually leave.
He'd been so angry at how willing she was to do as he said. Didn't she respect herself? She hadn't even tried to bargain with him. Just capitulated to his mad request. Or nearly had, anyways.
He'd had to leave.
So he'd spent the night in Jotunheim, spying on his half-brother and his court, trying not to think about Darcy at all.
Nothing was making sense anymore. Things he had believed for so long were being disproved right and left, and Loki was doing his best to roll with them but it was hard not to fight back against them in disbelief.
Frost Giants, for one. The more time he spent spying on them, the less he understood how they had become so vilified. They laughed, they loved, they fought, and they made up. They were exactly the same as Asgardians.
Could all of the terrible stories about Frost Giants really just be propaganda? Leftover war tactics from the days of Loki's youth? Why would Odin do that?
Always it had been part of him- your blood runs cold: you are lesser. Magic listens to you: you are unnatural. But Frost Giants didn't seem to see it that way, as far as he could tell. There were even a few who could do some small sorcery- and they were not reviled for it. It was simply accepted.
It was a bitter pill to swallow for one who had always been grateful to be at least part Asgardian, because in comparison it would have been so much easier if he'd just been born full Frost Giant.
He stayed for a long time- long after they had all gone to bed- thinking. About where came from- and about Laufey, and Odin, and how people so unfit for it could be allowed to have children. About Frigga, and about his nameless, faceless mother, and whatever had happened to her. And about why he sometimes felt like he was on the verge of discovering something huge, something really, really important; something that always escaped him. A pair of green eyes in a face that he couldn't quite see; a need, bone-deep, to know, once and for all...who am I?
But always- always- his thoughts coming back to center on the one who had fallen into his lap like a lifeline. And how she'd hijacked his life so thoroughly that even Agda was an after-thought.
You're an ass.
I'm going home.
He'd read it at least a hundred times when he finally returned to the tower. He couldn't help himself. Kept wishing it was longer. Kept wishing she'd never written it to begin with.
He wasn't proud to admit that he'd destroyed a shelf of priceless books in his panic and misery. Their charred remains spread desolately out on the floor.
The funny thing was- after spending the night really looking at his life, he'd even reluctantly toyed with the idea of actually just bringing her back. She'd have been grateful. And happy. He wanted to make her happy, badly.
But now that she was gone, he knew that he'd been right- he'd never have willingly actually been able to let her go, even knowing he could see her whenever he wanted to. Because he needed her.
He needed her more than he needed for her to be happy.
The wagon lurched along the road.
Darcy had gotten totes creeped out by the people in town. Everything was kind of medieval- all the women wore full length, plain, cotton-looking dresses. The men tended to some kind of leather-type pants thing and a loose cotton shirt. Darcy had never been one of those people who thought traveling back in time would be fun. Modern fashion, modern ideals, modern medicine- modern things seemed pretty fucking good.
Maybe it was her clothes- she was still wearing a pair of breeches and shirt that she'd 'borrowed' from Loki (that she was wishing she could wash. Fat chance there seemed of finding a washing machine anywhere around here though) after conceding that it might be better to try and blend in with the locals rather than come in with her tshirt and jeans. Yet clearly women weren't typically dressed in such anyways- because she'd been getting the most disturbing looks.
Never would Darcy comfortably call herself a people-person, but she got along well enough- always friendly and polite. She'd asked quite nicely at the tavern, which seemed to be the main attraction, if there was someone around who might know how to get to Boston, and they'd stared at her like she was crazy.
Not the kind of place that saw a lot of magic. They seemed like the sort who's idea of fun consisted of burning witches on the weekend.
"Do you speak English?" She'd asked worriedly, suddenly afraid that on top of everything she'd have to deal with a language barrier. Which would be just what she needed.
But that, at least, proved false.
"The capitol," the man behind the bar had finally grunted.
Darcy smiled, relieved. "Oh, great! And how would I get there?"
He shrugged. "How are your feet."
"They'll do." They were killing her, actually. In no way were they prepared to walk the amount she'd made them walk lately. "Which direction is it? And what's it called?"
"Follow the road."
Well. Yeah. But... "And that's it? There's no, I don't know, forks or anything?"
"Follow the road."
Wow. Clearly a man of few words. But all the strange stares were really starting to get to Darcy, so she thanked him and left.
One of the men followed her, though- a middling, reedy young man with short brown hair and the beginnings of a mustache. He looked barely old enough to grow one.
"Miss, I couldn't help but hear you wanted to get to the capitol." He had a friendly smile, but something about him put her on edge. She was very aware of how much of a disadvantage she was at.
"Mmhmm," she said warily.
"Well, I thought maybe you could use a ride. I'm going in for my pa today- bringing some things for my cousin's shop there. Family business, you know. Pa makes it, and Meela sells it. Golden fingers, she's got." He grinned, wiggling his fingers, and Darcy couldn't help returning the smile, relaxing a little. There was something so boyishly charming about him. "Anyways, there's plenty of room up front, and it would save you a good number of hours walking. Plus, I know that road like the back of my hand- and Fates but it could use a few trees along it. Hot as Hel, even riding. You walk though and it'll broil you alive."
"Oh- well that's so kind." Darcy considered her options quickly- walking alone, to a place she'd never been and only had vague directions to, or sitting, with a guide who had been there often, from the sound of it. "I don't want to be any trouble though."
"It's no trouble!" He assured her. "It would be my honor to help a lady." He winked. "Someone's got to keep rescuing damsel's in distress, am I right? Otherwise what good are all those stories."
Darcy laughed. "Well, when you put it like that. When were you going to leave?"
"Preferably now, actually, if that was alright with you? I was actually just stopping in for a drink before heading out. But if you needed something- I could wait a little bit. I just want to be there before dark. Did you need...?"
"No, no- I'm good. Now would be fabulous! I'm in quite a hurry to get home actually."
"Ah." He nodded, and Darcy followed him towards a decent-sized wagon. Two donkeys were harnessed in and they bared their teeth at them as they approached. "I understand. Home. There's nothing else like it in all the worlds."
Darcy smiled and bit her lip. Really, it was like her life was just being injected with The Wizard of Oz. She half-wished she'd thrown some water on Loki to see if he'd melt. "It's true. There's certainly no place like home."
One of the donkeys let out an impatient neigh, and he grinned ruefully, producing two sugar cubes for them. "I spoil them terribly," he said. "But what can I do? They are good animals. Better than horses. Here- let me help you up."
He had gotten into the driver's seat and held a hand out to Darcy. Smiling wryly- the wagon really wasn't that far from the ground, and Darcy certainly didn't need the help. But he was young, and doing his best to be gallant. And if she'd been wearing a dress it probably would have been helpful. So she let him pull her up, kind of perfunctorily, as she basically just needed to step up.
But he smiled approvingly, and she was glad to have made him happy. He clicked his tongue and lightly touched the reins to the donkeys. They plodded forward.
"I'm Jack, by the way," he said.
"It's been quite fortuitous to meet you, Jack. I'm Darcy."
He smiled. He was always smiling- such a nice change from Loki's constant scowls. She'd forgotten what it was like to be around people who were actually happy. "Well I'm glad to have met you, Miss Darcy."
There wasn't much for people around- it really was a small town- but a woman with a bonnet, of all things, and a girl of maybe fifteen walked by carrying pails of water attached to yokes across their necks. It was such a bizarre sight that Darcy didn't realize she was staring until the girl frowned at her and turned to say something to the woman next to her- her mother, presumably. She thought she heard the woman say something like, "Not our business," but the wagon was rolling along and the sounds of the donkeys' hooves overpowered them, and anyways, Jack was asking her about 'Midgard', which turned out to be just Earth in general.
Loki had located her with a scrying spell. Astonishingly enough, she'd made it to the capitol. Or perhaps not so astonishingly. It was Darcy, after all, and she was certainly persistent.
He materialized to her location- just in time to see her back as she was running down the crowded market street.
"Darcy!" Alarm had his heart racing as he took off after her, scanning the crowd for the reason for her flight. It couldn't have been him- she'd been running away from him. She didn't even know he'd be there. Surprisingly, that knowledge comforted him. But fear skittered through him at the thought that she was fleeing someone.
Someone wanted to hurt her.
What kind of person would want to hurt Darcy?
"Darcy!"
He shoved people out of his way as he ran. She was fast. Already they were almost out of the market district.
If she kept going in this direction she'd come to the Wall. He hoped she would- it was often far less crowded and would be much easier to speak to her. As the surge of people thinned out though, her pursuer became apparent. A young man, thin and wiry. He was sprinting after her as if his life depended on it.
Loki's legs and lungs were beginning to tingle with a tired ache, but his blood was hot; he could only imagine how Darcy was feeling.
He was a little surprised no guards had noticed their chase scene, but there were none in sight. The law, it seemed, was occupied elsewhere.
Finally they stopped going round twists and bends. The Wall lay before them, giant and imposing.
Loki's heart caught in his throat. There, on the edge of the wall, was Darcy. In the middle of climbing over it and onto the other side. The other side which, she had no way of knowing, stopped nearly a hundred feet down. Asgard was built with it's northeast face level, yet carved into the side of Mount Thrane.
"You bitch!" Her pursuer was calling furiously. He was bleeding from claw marks to his face.
Lip curled in disgust, Loki finally did what he'd been longing to do for the past few minutes and froze him where he stood. He would have engulfed him in flame, but he didn't want Darcy to hear his screams. She was precariously positioned now on top of the wall. It was only a foot or so across, and she had her belly over it- enough so that now it would be clear to her that coming down that way was not an option. He could see the precise moment when she realized. Her whole body tensed up.
"Darcy," he called out hesitantly, not wanting to spook her. "Darcy, come on down from there. No one is going to hurt you anymore. You're safe now." Except from yourself.
"Loki? I'm- I'm stuck."
She was still on her belly half over the wall.
"What do you mean?"
"My arm. I think I broke it before. I can't get up again. Can you get me?"
A broken arm... He wanted to growl, that she should be made to feel any pain at all...
He'd already been moving towards her as she spoke. The wall was maybe five feet high on this side. Not much, but still impressive that she'd climbed with a broken arm.
He lifted her up with magic and brought her to his arms. As soon as he felt her in them, he crushed her to his chest, mindful of her arm but needing the physical reminder that she was okay now.
"Mmph." She said, and he lessened his hold a fraction.
"What were you thinking?" He said, furious; fear morphing quickly into anger. "Climbing the Wall?"
"I was being chased!" she said indignantly. "Jesus! Calm down."
"Calm down!?" How could she be so oblivious? "Darcy- you almost died."
She bit her lip. "Thank you," she said quietly. He nodded jerkily in acknowledgment. "Although I don't understand why you're so worried in the first place- and I can walk, you know. It's my arm that's broken, not my leg."
"Humor me." He was unwillingly to put her down.
"Well...just for a few minutes then, I guess. It is nice to have a break after running from that maniac for half my life." She snuggled a bit closer to him, laying her head on his shoulders. "What are you even doing here? I thought you were a little hermit crab."
"You left."
"Well...yeah."
He swallowed. "Why?"
Darcy snorted, then lifted her brow. "Were you- are you? Dude. You can't be serious."
He was silent; unable to come up with an answer. He'd known that already. What he'd meant was how could she leave him- but that was as close as he could make himself get to it.
"Why won't you take me home?" She asked quietly. "I know you can. But you won't do it."
"I can't."
"I know you can."
"No, Darcy- I can't." His arms tightened around her and she stiffened. And before he could think about what he was even saying, he had just said it. "I can't let you go."
"That's not your decision to make."
He lifted a brow. "Actually..."
She gave him a look of amazement.
"I see. Well, then I'm sorry Loki." And suddenly pain was shooting through his jaw because she'd headbutted him, his teeth coming down onto his tongue as they went. The sharp tang of blood flooded his mouth.
"What the- ah!" He'd let her go in surprise, and she kneed him in the crotch. "Darcy! What are you-?" Her hands clapped his ears to his head so that they rung and then her elbow had connected to the back of his neck, forcing him to his knees and then another kick to the ribs and she was off.
He stared at her back in equal parts shock, pain, and confusion as she ran back to the marketplace. He wasn't worried about her necessarily anymore, because her pursuer was still frozen, waiting Loki's wrath. But the fact that she would do what she did?
He was stunned.
Perhaps he shouldn't have been.
His ears stopped ringing soon after, though his ribs ached quietly. She'd definitely bruised them, and his crotch was unhappy as well. But he was recovered enough from the shock to go after her. He really wasn't being melodramatic when he'd said that he couldn't let her go. He needed her.
But first thing first- he studied Darcy's pursuer. A young man, and cagey-looking. Loki unfroze his face.
"Why were you chasing her?" It was difficult to keep his voice even. All his anger had come rushing back to the fore.
"Y-you're Loki." The boy was pale with fear. His eyes were wild as he struggled against the ice encasing his body. "Let me go! Please! It's s-so cold..."
Loki raised a brow. "You hurt someone I care about." He allowed himself a bemused smile. "Why would I ever let you go?"
"I-I didn't know," he stammered. "I-I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I wouldn't have..."
"Just what were you doing?"
"I- she's mortal," he said helplessly, shrugging. "I couldn't resist. But I would have if I'd known! I promise! Just...do you have any idea how much people would pay for her? Not only just mortal, but pretty. I could have-" He trailed off, quailing at the look on Loki's face.
Loki was disgusted, and furious. Slave-trade? Darcy could well have ended up a slave?
He snapped the boy's neck and allowed the ice to melt from his body. The heat of the afternoon would evaporate the water left behind soon enough. No point in leaving a huge clue as to what had happened. Loki still wasn't crazy about advertising the fact that he was still breathing.
He scried for Darcy again, and flashed to her, no longer so frantic to find her. Merely annoyed, and perplexed. She had clearly shown that she was willing to do a lot so that she could be with her children. Such devotion intrigued him even as he resented it for taking her attention away from him.
He'd already found out that he wasn't going to be able to let her go. But- what if her children were with her? What could be her objection then?
Granted, he'd have to deal with children, but it would be a small price to pay, all in all, for Darcy. For a happy Darcy.
For a safe Darcy.
Darcy's heart was racing, her muscles begging her to stop even as she knew she had to get away. Far away.
He was so, so dangerous to her...
How could he make her feel so much in such a short period of time? It was ridiculous. Ridiculous. She knew he was unstable. And she knew it could never be a healthy relationship. And yet...
And yet. She might have thought twice about it, if not for her kids.
So for the second time in ten minutes she found herself flat-out running for her life, albeit in slightly different context.
She pushed her way through the crowd, past stalls of food and jewelery and cloths. The streets were wide in this section, but packed. It reminded Darcy of something out of Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.
Where can I even go? She wondered almost maniacally. It wasn't as if she knew this world, let alone this city! All she could come up with was...away.
She had no intention of finding herself a prisoner, despite what she thought might be Loki's intention of affection.
The stalls were thinning out; the street getting narrower now. She was leaving the market district.
By this point she was gasping, and she had a stitch in her side that would have made Dr. Frankenstein jealous. Her legs hit the dirt with all the grace of an elephant.
She turned down a side-street, hoping to get somewhere a little less populated.
Houses lined both sides of the street, made of what looked to be some sort of smooth, rose-colored stone, the likes of which she'd never seen. She wished she could spare the time to actually look at them properly, but she pushed on.
The street ended up opening into a beautiful garden with carved statuette fountains and hanging walls of flowers. The scent of sweet blossoms filled the air- honeysuckle, rose, orange... It was like a dream. Darcy didn't even realize she'd come to a stand-still until her aching muscles locked up in relief.
She groaned.
Fuck.
It was going to be hell trying to run again. Maybe he wasn't coming after her, she thought hopefully. Maybe...
She shivered suddenly, uneasy, looking around at the gorgeous garden warily. "All this place is missing is a talking snake."
"Darcy-"
"Aaah!" Darcy jumped, clutching a hand to her heart. "Jesus!"
Loki frowned. "I did not mean to startle you-"
"Well what the fuck did you think was gonna happen?" Darcy snapped, inching away from him. "You can't just pop up out of nowhere and have people not freak out."
His frown deepened as he noticed her slow retreat from him and she tensed, her jaw clenching.
Why did he have to be like this?
Why did he have to make her feel so...powerless?
She hated it. She wasn't weak. She wasn't.
But he made her feel like she was. Because what could she do to him? Nothing. He held all the power. He was a god, for chrissake. Not to mention a sorcerer. And she was...she was...
Well. Not either of those things.
But it was too late to run now, anyways. She stopped backing away and glared at him.
"I have come to a decision," he announced.
"Oh great. Because I've really been holding my breath."
"You want to leave, and I can't allow that," he said smoothly, talking over her muttered sarcasm. "No- let me finish." She shut her mouth peevishly. "I believe there is a way we can both win. You want to leave because you want to be with your children. I will bring your children here. Then we can both have what we want."
Darcy stared at him, shocked. The jaw-dropping arrogance was astounding. "I- you- you think the only reason I want to go home is because of my kids?"
He stilled. "Isn't it?"
"Wha- I- no," she ground out. "I mean, yeah, they're the biggest reason. But Loki- I have a life. I have a job. I have friends. I have..." she trailed off, the ridiculousness of his assumption mind-boggling. "And if you think I would ever let my children come to this world then you are deranged," she growled, stalking up to him and pushing his chest with her index finger. Surprisingly, he backed up, though his eyes flashed at her word-choice. "Not half an hour ago I was being chased by a sex trafficker because I was human.Which is,"she laughed hysterically, "apparently a crime. This is not the kind of world I want my babies in- do you hear me?"
"I doubt I could miss it, what with the volume you've stated it," he said tightly, his face cold.
She made a sound of disgust. "Oh, don't even."
"But your concerns, while valid, are not entirely fair."
"Fair?" Darcy blinked. "I was just almost sold into slavery and you don't think I'm being fair?"
Again his eyes flashed, the green hardening, somehow becoming icy. "I am sorry for that," he said quietly. The words practically vibrated with a suppressed violence that made Darcy swallow and take a step back. "That was...inexcusable. He has been dealt with."
Darcy blinked. Well that sounded...ominous. And final.
She swallowed.
"Like, how dealt with are we talking about?"
Loki just looked at her.
"Right." She cleared her throat. "So...really dealt with." Her hand fluttered to her throat, suddenly very aware of her breathing. And the fact that she was breathing. "Well, ah, thank you for that, I guess." She frowned, staring at Loki in question. "I just don't understand people- he was so...nice. And young. God, he was young..."
"People lie, Darcy," Loki said softly. "They do what they have to to get what they want."
Darcy blew out a breath. "Right. And you want..." she made a face. "Me." She tilted her head. "Really, though?"
Loki hesitated. "I find myself...better. With you." His eyes met hers for a long moment- they almost seemed to be memorizing her, though she didn't know why that would be. But he blinked and looked away, and the moment was gone.
Resentment all but choked Darcy. Tears of helpless rage stung her eyes. Was this how a mouse felt when wrapped in a viper's coils?
"Oh my god," she laughed bitterly, scrubbing at her eyes briskly. "The sad thing is I almost- well." she snorted. "Nothing. Nevermind."
"You almost what?"
Oh yes, he is a snake alright. The cold-bloodedness of those eyes... Abruptly she found herself laughing again. "Oh, Loki...shut up. Just. Please- shut up."
His brow wrinkled, ever so slightly, and he reached a hand toward her face as if something beyond his control compelled him.
God but she could use a hug right now. When she thought about what she'd just narrowly escaped her hands started shaking. But she crossed her arms and flinched away from him. She already knew she had to go with him. She simply didn't possess the means to escape that. But she would not make it easy for him.
"No."
"I see." His hand dropped and she saw his jaw clench as he looked away. Her eyes followed his line of sight. There were a few trees spread out through the garden- wispy things with sparse but beautiful golden-green leaves. A small red bird fed it's young in one of them, the chicks cheeping happily over their meal. Not even a year ago Ellie hadn't been able to sleep without Darcy.
She clasped her arms even tighter around herself, feeling her face pinch like it did when she was about to really cry. Her childrens' absence was a confusing, throbbing ache inside her, like a muscle you can't quite locate but that begs to be flexed.
"I'm sorry," he said finally, and her own jaw clenched. "I know-"
"Stop," Darcy bit out. "You know nothing. You know nothing."
"Enough."
"Enough!?" Darcy sputtered aghast.
"You misunderstand me." He took a few steps toward her and she stiffened. "Darcy...enough."
His voice was so gentle. "How do you do that?" She whispered. How could he be such an ass, and yet still make her yearn?
He tried to close the distance again, but again she shook her head and stepped away.
"Do we have to go now?" She asked finally. "The tower will still be there in a few hours."
"What did you have in mind?"
She shrugged, looking around at the garden. It was lovely, but it was nothing she hadn't seen variations of before. "The market, maybe...I don't know. Maybe I'm just hoping for a small reprieve."
He considered it a moment and she wondered what was going on in his mind. His fascination with her was so inconceivable as to seem farfetched.
"Alright." He proffered his elbow, but she raised a brow and shook her head. Seriously. Jesus. What was it going to take for him to realize that she did not want him touching her right now?
His elbow dropped and he smiled sardonically. "As you wish. Shall we?" He gestured to the path that lead to the garden's entrance.
"Yeah. Sure. Let's do this then."
He tutted. "So churlish."
She glared at him. "So leave me then."
He smiled and tapped her nose with a finger. "Never."
She really had the most adorable glares he'd ever seen. And surprisingly, he didn't mind her speaking to him as she did- full of irreverence, and even anger. But he had a sneaking suspicion that she would always surprise him, and he accepted her anger even if he didn't quite understand it.
It frustrated him- that he felt so lost without her. But he had her now, and she finally understood. He would speak to her again later about her children. She would come around. He knew she would be happier if they were with her. It was just the shock of recent events that was making her shy away from it.
He matched his pace to hers as they walked, noting the slight stiffness in her gait with displeasure; all that running that she'd done was affecting her.
She was so solemn and quiet. It was clear that she was in some sort of inner turmoil, but it was all so pointless. He wished their was some way he could make her see that it was all pointless. He had a picture of the future in his mind that was so vivid and clear that it had to be true. She was laughing in it, playing with the hair of a young girl. Nathan was pouting up at him, his green eyes so like Loki's- "Daddy! No." he was saying.
Loki frowned. Where had that last bit come from? Daddy? And for that matter...Nathan?
He scrubbed a hand over his face. Losing my mind...
"What?"
He chuckled at her tone. "So suspiciously asked."
She rolled her eyes, but smiled reluctantly. Something bright and warm pulsed to life again within Loki, a feeling he thought might be...happiness. It dulled some of the gaping anxiety that had been eating at him for the past few days that he was beginning to think might be guilt.
"Whatever."
They turned onto Market street not long after that, and Loki noted wryly that this was the third time in one day that he was gracing it with his presence. If anyone noticed them from before then they said nothing of it, though they drew plenty of stares.
Darcy was human though, and it was obvious, so this was not unexpected. But Loki was surprised by how many stares were sent his way. He wanted to glare at them all and tell them to go fuck themselves, but he didn't. Darcy wanted to see the sights, so she was going to see the sights. Whatever was in his power to make her happy.
So he smiled politely instead.
"Do you trade with other worlds?" Darcy asked, noting the food stalls, and the jewelery, woodworkings, art, weapons, books...
"Very little, actually," he said wryly. "Asgard tends to...rub outsiders the wrong way."
Darcy raised a brow, looking at him pointedly. "Really? I have no idea what you mean."
He smiled. "Well there are the few exceptions. Some of us are blessed with a staggering wealth of charm."
She snorted. "Is that so."
"As you said, who has time for modesty."
Her lips turned up at that and she quickly looked away. "So you guys are pretty isolated then?" she asked, casually running a hand over the leather-work of a book on display.
Wondering how difficult it is to leave Asgard, are we?
"As the saying goes, 'no man is an island'- but Asgard is rather close. The Bifrost is the only true portal to the other realms, but I last heard that it was broken."
Her fingers stopped moving over the leather. "And there is no other way out? That seems like terrible planning. Everyone knows you're supposed to have at least two exits in case of...fire, or...what have you."
"Well, I suppose there is another way."
"What?" Oh little lamb, can't quite keep the excitement from your voice, can you? Poor thing.
"Me."
She pursed her lips, visibly deflating a little. "Oh." She frowned. "And people don't have a problem with that? I would feel...I don't know. Clausterophobic or something." She shivered. "Actually, kind of starting to feel a little right now," she said sheepishly.
"It's no different than you Midgardians, though, really. You are not aware of any portals in your realm, are you?"
Her delicate grows wrinkled slightly. "Well. No, I guess not."
He nodded. "It's the same here. The only difference is that Asgardians are aware of the possibility. But they've never been very interested in the other realms as whole. Pretty egotistical lot, actually. The Motherland has everything they want, except for Dwarven wood on occasion, which is bloody difficult to get your hands on."
Darcy turned piercing brown eyes on him. "You keep saying 'they'. Why is that? I thought you were from here."
He blinked. Really, he ought to have remembered how easy it was to stop censoring himself around her. One of these days he was really going to fuck up and say too much. "Of course. I've just been away from home for many years." He picked up a length of fine green cloth. "This would be beautiful on you."
She snorted. "Everything would be beautiful on me."
"That's true," he allowed, and bit his lip at the blush that spread over her cheeks as she looked away.
"Well. Ah. Too right you are. Ahem. Right. Carry on. I mean..." she made a face and sighed, muttering something under her breath that he couldn't quite catch.
His compliment seemed to have made her shy, and she was quiet for a few minutes as they walked through the stalls. Loki didn't mind. He didn't even really mind the stares they received. There was something so right about walking side by side with Darcy that he couldn't bring himself to worry about much.
"Loki." A familiar voice called, and the marketplace abruptly silenced itself.
Loki stopped abruptly, whole body tensing. He could feel the smile drip off his face.
Darcy turned around curiously. "Did someone just-? Whoa..."
"Loki! By the fates it is you."
Loki's lip curled, hatred broiling in his gut. He turned. "Hello father."
Incredibly, Odin's eyes misted over. "Where have you been? Your mother and I have not seen you in a month." He frowned at the people, agog over seeing this private conversation between their monarch and missing prince. "Go about your business," he commanded, voice ringing of that infuriating expectant of obedience. They obeyed.
Loki looked him over with critical eyes. "You look like hell." The Odin of his memory was an imposing figure of unimpeachable and total authority. The man before him now was...diminished. Aside from the open emotion on his face, his figure was physically unchanged from memory. But his attitude- the way he held himself- was quieter.
Darcy smacked his arm. "Jesus, Loki," she chided. "Isn't that your dad?"
Odin chuckled. "Perhaps I can see the value in her now."
Loki looked at him sharply.
"Your wife," Odin said, when Loki raised a brow.
Darcy burst out laughing. "His what?"
"Wife," Odin repeated, frowning.
Darcy looked at Loki incredulously. "He doesn't seem like the type to have a sense of humor," she whispered to him.
Loki narrowed his eyes at Odin. "He doesn't."
"I don't know what you're playing at," Odin said, waving their commentary off, "but I have no interest in it." Ah yes, this was the Odin Loki remembered. Blunt, and insensitive. "What does interest me is your whereabouts for the last month. Your mother and I worried sick over you. You vanish from the fates cursed battlefield mere moments after your brother's death and then I hear that you are strolling through the marketplace as if you hadn't a care in the world?"
"Battlefield?" Darcy asked, her eyes wide with shock. "You had a brother?"
"I had two," Loki said tightly. Thor, who had said nothing when Loki had been ridiculed. Who had laughed with the other children. Thor, who had called him puny so many times Loki had lost count, the knowledge that he had been such a disappointment to his whole family burning in his gut; cursing his body's inability to grow, to be as intimidating as Thor's, to be anything other than too lean, too tall, too gangly.
"Like an overgrown weed," Thor had laughed. "How can a weed possibly fight?" And Loki had snarled at him and stalked off to the solitude of the library, leaving the training ground behind in a trail of kicked up dust and shame, the sound of Thor's laughter making his ears burn. At least he was good at something though: his secret rebellion. One day he would be as strong as Thor.
Magic crackled in his palms and he glowed with pride at it.
Oh yes, he would be as strong as Thor someday. And the day could be sooner than anyone expected.
Loki shook the memory off quickly, hating to remember the old feelings of shame and inadequacy.
Thor had never been a brother to him. But Baldr...Baldr had been kind. Loki had mourned him. Christ...a hundred years later and still he was mourning him. "Are you trying to tell me that you weren't part of it, father?"
"Part of it? Part of what?"
Loki stared at him thoughtfully. Perhaps not then. He hadn't truly thought so. Agda wasn't the type to work for someone else. "I was..." He sneered distastefully. "My presence was requested rather forcibly."
Odin's face became a thundercloud. "You were kidnapped?"
Loki barely stifled a shudder. It sounded so childish like that when the reality was so much harsher. "So to speak."
"But what about your...abilities?"
Loki's face tightened into a mask. Ah yes. His father's rather notorious distaste for magic. "The element of surprise is, in fact, quite handy at stopping that in it's tracks. Why are you here? Talking to me. Looking for me. I would have thought that you would grab onto the opportunity to unburden yourself of me."
Odin stared at him perplexed. "Have you lost your mind?"
Actually...
"The entire guard has been on the lookout for you! Sif has barely slept since you disappeared- and your mother as well, for that matter. The Warriors Three are even now out combing the lands. Looking for you. What in the name of all that is good would make you think we would take the opportunity to unburden ourselves of you?"
Loki snorted. "I'm supposed to believe you've been looking for me for a month when Heimdal could find me in mere moments?"
"Heimdal is...retired."
Loki raised a sardonic brow.
"He is blind," Odin said reluctantly, and Loki's other brow joined the first in surprise.
Something wasn't right. Something didn't...click. This was the same man who had sewed his lips shut for pulling a stupid prank.
"Were you hurt?" Odin asked now. "You look..." He seemed unsure of himself. "Different." Loki chuckled. His father was the last person Loki would confide in.
"Well, this has been...interesting," Loki said. "But I have things to do. And as you can see that I am alive now, you would do well to cease searching for me. I have no wish to be part of your life. I release you from your obligations to me, such as they are."
"Loki..." Odin sounded so bewildered. In fact, Loki thought with some incredulousness, he actually sounded old. "You are not yourself."
Loki smirked. "But of course. You knew me so well before."
"I know my son, Loki, and this is not my son."
The smirk fell from Loki's face. He'd thought he was beyond being hurt by Odin, but old insecurities refused to die. "No. I suppose I am not."
Odin glared at him. "Don't go making that into something it isn't," he growled. "What happened to you while you were gone? Where were you?"
"I'm done," Loki said, itching suddenly to be anywhere else. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. He just wanted to bask in the knowledge that Darcy was his. That Darcy was-
He looked around and let out a curse. She was gone.
Again.
Fates take her, why couldn't she just accept that she needed to be with him? Why did she have to insist on all this cat-and-mouse? Was he really, so horrible?
Don't think about that. Don't think about that...
Trying to control his annoyance he quickly traced to her, Odin's command of, "Loki, don't you dare-" forgotten behind him as he appeared at the top of the North wall.
"Jesus!" Darcy shrieked, lurching backwards, away from him. And falling.
The stairs led down and down and down. It was a quirk of ancient Asgardian architecture- this useless, towering staircase. It wasn't used, because it was so impractical. Because the capitol was built half on a cliff, these stairs could be avoided if one simply went to one of the other three sides of the place, which were built on ground-level.
Loki reached to grab her instinctively, astonished to find that it wasn't fast enough, that she was falling.
Down and down and down.