Loki was so...bored. Hel could not be said to be a very happening place.

Hela was sulking again. She was always sulking over something. It was irritating. Somehow she seemed to have bee under the impression that she could seduce him. Seduce him.

!

As if. And then she'd get all angry and wounded, like it was his fault. And all the while he was thinking of Darcy.

Darcy...

Longing was not unfamiliar to Loki. He'd longed for love from his parents. He'd longed to be accepted for who he was- his frost giant side included. He'd longed for freedom, and then for revenge, but now...

This was more than simple longing. When it came to Darcy, what he felt was never simple.

Did she think about him, as he was thinking of her? Or was she starting to forget him? Would she ever want to see him again? He would never be able to escape the fact that he was the reason she had died...

The time went slowly.

"Well, when you disappeared, it didn't take much to guess that you'd been sent to Asgard," Jane said. They were sitting outside, on a blanket in the gardens. Ellie had been attached to Darcy for the past few hours, like a baby sloth. She sat in Darcy's lap now, eating strawberries as Darcy stroked her hair, reveling in the fact that she could hold her babies. Nathan sat next to her, his shoulder leaning against her side. They all wanted to be in contact with each other. "I told Thor what had happened, and we decided to follow you. Apparently time passes faster on earth than here- which, by the way is absolutely fascinating- but, of course, would have been a huge problem. You might only have been gone a week and it would have been months for us."

"So you followed me," Darcy said, smiling.

"So we followed you," Jane agreed.

Darcy stared at her best friend in awe. Just like that. She'd uprooted her family, her life, her everything- to help Darcy. A wave of gratitude swept through Darcy, and she wished there was something she could do, something she could say, to make sure Jane understood how much Darcy appreciated that.

"Jane," she started to say. "I don't even know how to-"

Jane held up a hand, the sweet, caring Jane smile. "It's okay," she said softly. "I know."

Darcy blinked rapidly and nodded. "Thank you."

Jane's smile deepened, but then became regretful. "I'm just sorry that we couldn't find you right away. Or at all, I guess, because you were the one who found us. It sounds like a lot of things could have been cleared up if we'd been able to talk to each other."

Darcy smiled. "It's okay. Everything worked out fine. And for the most part, it wasn't that bad. Just missed my little ragamuffins here." She tweaked a strand of Ellie's hair, and bumped Nathan's shoulder with her own.

"We missed you too, mommy," Ellie said, and Nathan nodded, looking up at Darcy with those deep green eyes that were so exactly like Loki's. It was astonishing to see her childrens' features again as if for the first time- picking out Loki's nose in Ellie, his black hair, how Nathan's eyes were exact copies of his father's.

His father's. As in, half his genes. And the same with Ellie...

Which meant that Loki was part Frost Giant, and had never said anything to her. And that they had had sex. Like, at least twice.

It was a weird situation. How was she supposed to look at him now? What was she supposed to say? Christ, they were technically still married.

Don't think about that right now...

"So you guys didn't end up in a forest when you used that thing?"

Jane smiled. "Einstein-Rosen Bridge."

"Right. That."

"You ended up in a forest?"

Darcy wrinkled her nose remembering the dark closeness of those trees. "Ugh. Yeah. It was like Little Red Riding Hood's forest on steroids."

"Hmm. No, we ended up just outside the city, actually. Pretty convenient. It would have been a nightmare trying to trek any kind of distance with these four little monsters." She ruffled Liam's hair as he plopped down on the blanket next to her. Isaac and he had been running around in circles for the past twenty minutes. Liam made a face at his mom and leaned away, clearly feeling he was too old to have his hair ruffled.

"Are there any more sandwiches?" he asked, scanning the food.

"I think your brother ate the last one," Jane said, shaking her head.

Liam scowled at Isaac, who was climbing a tree not far away. "Isaac! You butt!" And he took off after him, Isaac laughing maniacally as he climbed faster.

"Boys- careful!" Jane called half-heartedly after them. They were the sturdiest, most mischievous boys Darcy had ever seen.

Mischief. Darcy frowned.

"Hey- isn't Loki the god of mischief or whatever?"

"I- yeah. I think so."Jane rolled her eyes. "And Thor is the god of thunder. It's still so ridiculous that I can barely believe it."

"Huh." Darcy looked over at the boys, who were now shrieking at each other as they ran from each other, having abandoned the tree. She looked back to her own kids. Ellie had fallen asleep in her lap, curled up like a kitten between her knees. Nathan was listening silently to their conversation, his face rapt with attention. Now he shook his head at his mother.

"I don't think so," he said. "Not for me, anyways."

"What?" Jane looked between the two of them curiously.

"It's nothing," Darcy said, disturbed by the idea. "I was just wondering- if their fathers are..." she couldn't even say it with a straight face, "gods... I don't know. Isn't there a chance there kids might be, too? They do share half their DNA..."

"Oh." Jane looked astonished, her eyes immediately turning to the boys.

"I don't think so, mom," Nathan said again, his voice very confident. How did he sound so much older than his ten years?

"But honey, how do you-"

"I asked the queen about it," he said simply. "And she said it was unlikely. Besides, I don't feel..." His brows drew down, trying to think of the right word, and he looked so much like Loki in that moment that Darcy almost jumped with surprise. "The queen said that being a god is a little like being possessed. For the most part you don't notice it- but then you can be struck by the sudden...I think she used the word compulsion to do something. Anyways," he shrugged. "I've never felt that."

"Well...good," Darcy said, bumping his shoulder with hers. "I don't like the idea of my baby doing anything they don't want to."

"Unlike doing homework?" Nathan asked wryly.

"Homework being the exception that proves the rule."

"Is it really a rule though?"

Darcy opened her mouth. And shut it. "You know what? You're turning out just like me." She grinned when Nathan just raised a brow and said, "Say it ain't so."

"Hey wait a minute though," she looked at him quizzically. "I don't remember telling you that Loki is...apparently...your..."

"Thor told me."

Darcy looked over at Jane. "Oh."

"They were worried about you," Jane said. "And wondering what was going on. So Thor told them all about you and Loki, and about how most of those Norse myths are true."

Nathan snorted. "Ellie wanted to see Fenrir."

"But you're okay with it?" Darcy asked. "That's kind of a lot to find out. Pretty crazy stuff..."

"Mom, it's so cool. Did you know there's magic? Not the Harry Potter kind, but, like, actually real magic?" He was ecstatic about it. "I wish I could learn."

"Oh, well but Loki does magic. Maybe he could," she frowned, unsure if she really wanted her kids learning how to do magic, "teach you."

Regret washed over Nathan's face. "Nah. That's okay. I mean- I guess you kind of have to be born with it."

"Are the people here weird to you?" Darcy changed the topic, not wanting to dwell too much on the things her son couldn't have. "Cuz they were really weird to me."

"We actually haven't been much out of the city, to be honest, or even out of the palace walls." Jane made a face. "Thor didn't think it would be a good idea for me to be out without him."

"He what?" Darcy burst out laughing. "What, did he regress to the middle ages? What the fuck?"

"Exactly," Jane said, clearly displeased with Thor. "Things have been...different, since we got here. Thor's father took up all of Thor's time, nearly, and then there was the fighting and the boys and I were pretty much quarantined here- which was, in hindsight, probably best. But Thor didn't even..." Jane ran a hand through her hair and slid Darcy a troubled look. "He just commanded me. Me." She laughed humorlessly, and Darcy got edgy hearing her normally cheery friend so troubled. "That's not like Thor. Or it wasn't, before all this... We were equals. Partners. The way it's supposed to be. And now..." She sighed again, her face shadowed. "I just don't know. I just don't know."

Oh god, Darcy thought, feeling woefully unprepared, and suddenly guilty. She hadn't realized how often it was her talking to Jane about her problems and Jane giving sage counsel rather than the other way around, and Darcy wasn't really sure what to say.

"Maybe he was just worried about you," Darcy tried.

"The capitol isn't exactly crawling with criminals. It's supposed to be the safest place in Asgard," Jane said wryly. "What was he afraid of? I let him get away with it, because he was so stressed. I didn't want to add to his worries, you know? But then there was the fighting, and now he's going to be...king soon? And I just..."

"Whoa, whoa! Back up. King? What happened to Odin?"

"Oh Darcy..." Jane's face crumpled. "He's dead. In the battle. Thor says he died taking this really horrible guy Surtur with him. And now the queen wants to abdicate, and... Did you know she isn't even from Asgard? Apparently she's from Vanaheim. Her and Odin were some kind of alliance marriage and now that he's gone she wants to go back to her home, which means Thor is next in line, and Darcy I can't be a queen."

Jane's eyes were wide with loss, having seemed to have already accepted that she wouldn't be.

"What do you mean?" Darcy asked incredulously. "You'd be the best queen ever!"

"Darcy..."

"No- I'm serious, Janey. These people are kind of backwards. Like super old-fashioned and cut off from the rest of the world...or worlds, rather, and they could do with a modern gal like you taking the helm. Not to mention that you're the smartest, kindest person I've ever known. Seriously Jane. You'd be an amazing queen."

Jane blushed. "Well, I don't know."

"I know."

"I guess time will tell. I don't know Things are very strange right now."

"True that." She sighed. "I think I might be falling in love with my husband."

Jane quirked a brow. "Good lord."

"I know. I know. It's very..."

"Strange?" Jane asked wryly. Darcy chuckled.

"Yeah. Strange. It's very strange. The thing is though- it can't be healthy, can it?" Darcy asked sadly.

"What, loving your own husband?"

Darcy made a face at her. "He practically kept me prisoner though. So maybe this is just Stockholm Syndrome..."

"He kept you prisoner?" Jane frowned. "Like in a cell...?"

"Well, no. I guess not. I mean I could leave if I wanted to."

"Oh. So, prisoner..."

"Alright, alright. Maybe prisoner isn't the right word. But he lived in the middle of a forest and I didn't know how to get out of it. And- and, he lied to me. He said he'd help me, but he never meant to."

"How was he going to help you?"

"I was never really too clear on that, actually," Darcy admitted. "Something about using magic yadayada oh Darcy you must wait until the full moon because reasons oh it's the full moon no sorry it's not gonna work blahblahblah..."

"Hmm."

Darcy narrowed her eyes at Jane. "And what's that supposed to mean?"'

"Nothing," Jane held up her hands. "Nothing at all. He lied to you. That wasn't very nice of him. But you left anyways."

"Well, yeah," Darcy grumbled, not liking how it sounded so much less like she'd been held prisoner than that she'd just stayed willingly. "I mean, I guess I did leave- but I almost got sold into prostitution."

"Well- wait." Jane's mouth dropped open. "You what!?"

It was a very satisfying reaction. "Yep. There was a whole chase scene through a crowded marketplace, too. It was very Indiana Jones."

"And what happened?"

"Hmm. Well, Loki showed up and made him stop." What would have happened if Loki hadn't shown up? She shied away from the thought uneasily. She could take care of herself. She would have been fine. Wouldn't she?

"And neither of you remembered the other?" Jane asked incredulously. "How long were you with him?"

"Hey now," Darcy bristled. "I don't really understand it either. It was about a month, I think. I don't even think he's aware of it now."

"Are you sure?"

Darcy thought back to how they were before; how easily lies rolled off his tongue. "Well, no. I guess I'm not, but..." But then later, he'd been so raw when he'd confessed that he needed her. In the garden. If he'd known they were married, surely he'd have said something, tried to use it to his advantage... "I just don't think he knows."

"Hmm."

Darcy narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"What are you going to do?"

Surprised, Darcy frowned. "About what?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "He's coming back sometime, Darcy. So what are you going to do when he does?"

"Oh. Umm. I don't know, actually."

"He's going to find out you're married."

Darcy shrugged. "Yeah, I mean I guess that's pretty inevitable."

"Well, do you miss him?" Jane pushed. "Do you like him?"

Oh boy.. "I...I don't know, Jane. I mean, the kind of relationship we had...it wouldn't be healthy. He was the one with the power, and I was helpless. It was infuriating."

Jane nodded. "Is that still the case?"

Darcy thought of how she now had magic running through her veins. His magic. In fact, he didn't even have magic at the moment. She was the one with all the power. The idea stunned her. "I guess not."

"Well there you go. That's something at least. Marriage isn't something you should take lightly."

Darcy lifted a brow, turning serious eyes to her friend. "What about your own marriage?"

"That's...complicated."

Darcy's other brow joined the first. "More complicated than mine?"

A small smile curved Jane's lips, conceding the point. "I'm trying," she said. "I mean to try very hard. But I don't know how much pressure our relationship can take. He's my rock," she said, suddenly vulnerable and sad. Darcy ached for her friend. "He has been ever since I've known him. I could always depend on him. I was always sure about him. But now..." She shook her head. "Darcy I barely know who he is anymore, and it's killing me. He keeps pushing me further away, and I don't know what to do."

"Don't let him," Darcy said fiercely. "Do you love him?"

Jane's eyes were filled with an anguished pain. "Yes."

"Then don't let him push you away."

Jane laughed bitterly. "I don't know how."

"You'll find a way," Darcy said confidently, hoping her voice belied the fear inside her. Her best friends... Thor and Jane were perfect for each other. They were perfect together. They had to be able to work through this, or what chance did she and Loki have?

Because she loved him. She did. God help her, but she loved him.

"You have to find a way."

The next day dawned hot and humid, and the heavy atmosphere seemed to put everyone on edge. Even Ellie was persnickety.

Darcy wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with her time. The castle was in such a state of constant motion, and after servants cleared the table of food after breakfast Darcy was left unsure what she was supposed to be doing. Jane had found a way to put her medical courses to good use by volunteering in the infirmary, but Darcy had no such skill.

In the end, no one asked her to do anything, so she spent the day with her kids, basking in the fact that they were within arms-reach. They knew the castle far better than she did, and they took great pleasure in demonstrating their superior knowledge.

But the useless feeling kept coming back over the course of the day, seeing all the workmen coming in and out. The servants going about the day. The steady stream of people coming in for a hearing with Thor or Frigga, and then out again. She wished there was something she could do. All this magic that she had now- and no knowledge of how to use it. What to do with it. It was frustrating.

And to compound the feeling of uselessness, the incredible beauty of the Asgardian people was staggering and disconcerting. They were literally all gorgeous. And it wasn't like Darcy had a lack of self-esteem or anything- she knew she was pretty decently good-looking- but in the face of this... Well, she was kind of starting to dread Loki coming back, because what did he see in her? What could she be to him? In a world of beautiful, talented people, she was the average one. Pretty much useless unless you wanted a laugh.

Typically dinner seemed to be served in a great hall as a grand affair, but Darcy declined and ate in her room instead, not feeling up to being beaten over the head with her own insecurities just then. She was just finishing her soup when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Darcy called, hoping it was just Jane. She was feeling very melancholy at the moment and being cheerful seemed like an awful lot of work.

The door opened and Vilda swept through. "I've been meaning to talk to you," she said by way of greeting.

Darcy groaned silently. She really didn't want to deal with this right now. "Proceed."

She started to say something but then seemed to decide against it, settling instead for, "How is he?"

"Loki?"

"Yes." Vilda hesitated. "Is he- okay?"

"Hmm." Darcy considered that. "Well, I don't know."

"But you spent a lot of time with him."

"Well, yeah. But Loki's..." Darcy pushed her soup away. "He's complicated."

Vilda smiled fondly. "Yes. He is that."

"Can I-?" Darcy tried to ask, but bit her lip. It was a pretty rude question. But Vilda merely looked at her and nodded for her to continue. "You're his mother," she said. "But you didn't raise him."

"Ah." Vilda smiled, but it was a subdued smile. She sat at the small table across from Darcy. "Yes."

"Why?" Darcy's voice was filled with confusion.

Vilda gave her a long look. She shrugged, turning to the window that overlooked the courtyard. "I had my reasons."

There was an awkward pause. Vilda clearly wanted to elaborate but was finding it difficult.

"I've recently gone a period of time without my own kids," Darcy ventured hesitantly. "It was...not something I ever want to experience again."

"Yes. Well." Vilda swallowed, still looking out the window. Not really looking out it, but more at it. Just a safe place to stare. Her emotive face was uncharacteristically still. She turned to Darcy rather sharply though. "I do love him, you know."

"Of course." What do you want from me, lady? Darcy wondered. But she was ravenously curious.

"I love him more than anything. But it wasn't-" she broke off, her face turning serious. "I'm telling you this in the strictest of confidences, because Loki must wonder, and after what I've had to do I don't know if..." She sighed. "Well, I don't know that he'll want to talk to me very much. I haven't been a very good mother to him." She laughed. "Everything I've done has been for him, of course. So he could have this- a family. Kids. A spouse that loves him. Happiness. All the things I could never... Well. In any case, it hasn't been an easy road for him, getting here."

She drummed her fingers on the table restlessly, and Darcy fought the urge to shift in her chair. She got the feeling that if she made any kind of interruption, she would lose out on this opportunity.

"I was raped," Vilda said baldly. "Or near enough as to make no difference."

Darcy made a small involuntary sound of sympathy, shock and compassion blooming immediately at the unexpected words. Good lord...

"Have you ever heard of the war between Vanaheim and Asgard?" Vilda's voice was brisk. Darcy shook her head. She got the impression that Asgard had been in it's fair share of wars though. "It's called the Aesir-Vanir War now, but back then it had no name. It was bloody, and it was brutal, and it was..." she smiled somewhat self-indulgently. "Well. It was war. I was little more than a child then at seventeen. I had no siblings." Her smile turned reminiscent. "My parents let me get away with far more than they ought to have, but I could charm them out of their anger easily- had them quite wrapped around my fingers. I was a favorite at court- always sought out by my peers. I had quite a talent for mischief-making." She smiled fondly. "It is no great surprise that Loki is god of it. I used to get into all sorts of trouble- and doubly so when I discovered my talent."

Her fingers had been tapping restlessly all through her speech, but it wasn't enough. She get up and paced to the window a few feet away. "Secrets." And the word held such a nuance of meaning that Darcy was at a loss. Vilda laughed, but it was not a pleasant laugh. "They are beautiful, in their way. Even the terrible ones that make your breath catch in your throat." There was a strange longing in her voice that seemed at odds with her words. "There is great beauty in all things, if one is of a mind to see it. And I did. Oh, I did. The things I saw..." she trailed off.

"It happened in the usual way for us- we Asgardians are born gods, but it is years before we know what of. Subtle hints for years, and then all of a sudden one day it will come roaring to life within you, and you recognize it instantly for what it is: you. An unchangeable, inescapable part of you. It is sála. Your soul."

She turned back to Darcy and leaned against the window frame, arms crossed over her chest. "It can be a blessing. But it can also be a curse. Frigga, for example..." Vilda's face softened; became sorrowful. Loving. Proud. "She is queen of Asgard- famed for her wisdom, and for her kindness. And she is a valkerie of Vanaheim- a warrior, famed for her skill in battle. She is a great many things, but at her core, the very essence of who she is... she is the goddess of fertility. Life. The pain and the joy, the fear, the wonder... What did she say..." Vilda frowned, trying to find the exact words. "'It's the grass between our toes, Vilda. It's the sky above us. It's the very air we breathe. Lambs playing in the fields. A foal standing for the first time, it's spindly legs unsteady but determined.'"

Darcy smiled, having a hard time picturing the stern, unbending woman she'd met saying those things. Vilda caught the smile, understanding. "She was young then. The world has made her harder than she was meant to be. Her sála, her soul... she is barren. That she was able to conceive at all took a great deal, let alone twice. Perhaps one of the only things I can thank Odin for is that he cared enough about her to go to the Norns for her. To be both the goddess of fertility and barren? ...It was killing her.

"I checked up on her, over the years." She smiled wryly. "Told myself I wouldn't. I was so mad at her, for a long time. But even so, I couldn't stay away. She was my first love. You know?"

Loki's face filled Darcy's mind, and she nodded.

"My only love, as it turns out. But you see how it is difficult sometimes, to be saddled with these gifts. You humans have it so simply." She stopped, frowning. "I hadn't meant to be quite so maudlin. Or to stray so far from my intent." Her lips tilted into a chiding grin. "We could have been here for hours. Anyways... Loki. I was fourteen when I knew that secrets were my talent.

"At first it was just that I could see them, hiding in the slant of a man's lips, or the hollow of a woman's neck. It amused me, how simple it was- how stupid they must be, to think I could not see. And it was enough just to know, for a while. But I was fourteen. I was full of myself. No one knew of my talent, and I wanted acknowledgment of my cleverness. So I began telling my friends what I saw. Little things. Seemingly inconsequential. They wanted proof though. They said I was making it up. So I proved it." She smiled wryly. "But the things a fourteen year old finds inconsequential are not, in fact, so small as they seem. I got a very important dignitary in a lot of trouble, and I was brought before the king. Odin himself." She rolled her eyes. "I was terrified, of course. Odin was a legend. He was the Law. Stern, and rigid. He did not know how to talk to children. Scared me half to death. But I confessed all. He had been raging at me for a good while before he'd even let me speak, and after I did he was subdued. Thoughtful. He let me go- unpunished, even- but he forbade me from discussing my ability with anyone outside my family." She grinned. "Avoided me, too, from then on. I made him pretty uncomfortable.

"He sent someone to me three years later. Had a job for me. Things were getting tense with Vanaheim. They were doing something Odin didn't agree with. Building something, perhaps. He wanted me to find out if what he'd heard was true- because if it was, it would mean war. So I went. I was seventeen." She smiled at the memory. "I was ecstatic- a chance to finally use my abilities? To get credit for averting a war...it's a wonder I could walk with my head as swollen as it had gotten.

"It didn't matter, in the end, whether Vanaheim was doing what Odin feared. They were ready for war, and they attacked Asgard days after I got to Vanaheim. Soon there was fighting both in Vanaheim and Asgard, and I got captured by a young Valkyrie princess named Frigga. She was nineteen then. Fierce as a wolf and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen." Vilda laughed at herself, a loopy, smitten smile curving her lips so that Darcy wanted to sigh at how sweet it was. "I admit, I didn't even put up a fight. I would have followed that woman anywhere..."

Steps sounded in the hallway; the brisk walk of someone in a hurry to get somewhere. Vilda fell silent as they passed Darcy's room by, and seemed to shake off the memory of her first love.

"Anyways," she continued, brisker now. "The war went on for ages. So many casualties on both sides... My parents included." She paused, but only briefly. "But an alliance was agreed on between the two kings. The fighting would cease...when the two nations were joined by the marriage of the king's only daughter and Odin. By that time Frigga and I were very much in love of course, but it didn't matter." Darcy could tell Vilda was trying to keep her tone clinical and detached, but the pain seeped through anyways. "Neither Asgard nor Vanaheim has ever been called progressive, and two women together...the shame of it..." Bitterness nearly swallowed her words. "Even if Frigga had fought the marriage, we could not have been together. Not publicly. We would be outcasts. Pariahs. Forever. I was willing to face it- my own family dead anyways, it would have been easier to bear. But Frigga couldn't. Her father, she said... But she had such a strong sense of duty, anyways. She still does. Always, she would do what she had to to help her people. So she married Odin, and I... it was a dark time for me. I vanished. I was lost to anger and betrayal for a few dark, terrible years. But the past caught up with me, as it always seems to do.

"The dignitary I had so shamed had never forgotten me. I was caught unaware, so out of touch with the world that it was embarrassingly easy for him to kidnap me. I worked for him for years- first, because he threatened me, but then because it was something to do. Something I was good at. And it took up my time, so that I wasn't consumed by Frigga all the time. Soon I couldn't have stopped if I had tried. My talent for unraveling secrets had been starved during my mourning period, and it was ravenous. It grabbed hold of me like a starved dog with a bone.

"It turns out that there is quite a lot of work to be had for someone with my skills, and he took to hiring me out for a hefty fee. And that's how I came into contact with Loki's father.

"Laufey was only a prince then. But he wanted the crown, and he meant to get it. But he didn't have a legitimate claim. The Frost Giant crown is passed outside the ruling family only when the current king is killed in public combat. The crown then goes to the victor, and his own family will continue to hold the crown until challenged by another. The only thing Frost Giants revere more than strength is kin. Blood ties go deep with them, because it is difficult for them to reproduce. If Laufey was a more patient man, the crown would be his by right when his father died. But Laufey was not a patient man by any means, and he had no intention of waiting. That's where I came in. His father was quite beloved, and a fierce warrior in his own right. Hiring someone to kill him was risky. The only one Laufey trusted enough to kill his father was himself. But it had to be in open combat, and kin fighting kin was an abomination. By this time I had explored my gift, and learned that more than just see the secrets others hid from the world, I could make them forget things. I could keep secrets. And what Laufey payed me to do was just that- to make them forget the circumstances of his birth. To keep the fact that he was a prince secret from them."

Vilda shook her head, sending a strand of curled black hair back behind her shoulder. "It was a resounding success, of course. Laufey earned his crown and quite a bit of respect for his skill with a blade." She smiled wryly. "It was such a success that he found he could not let me go. He could not do without me. 'What if they remember?' he would say to me. He was paranoid. And of course my skill only works on those who don't expect it." She snorted. "Fat lot of good it does when people expect it. The whole point is secrecy. You cannot make something secret if they are aware you are trying to do it- the mind is a powerful thing. So I was at his mercy for a long time. My employer was no help- he wanted no war with Frost Giants. Laufey kept me in a room, locked away. I had no contact with anyone but him."

Her face closed off. "It wasn't long before he wanted my body. More than that though, he wanted sons. He wanted a legacy. And of the few couplings between Frost Giants and Aesir, they have almost always ended in a child. The genetic compatibility is greater than simply among Frost Giants." She snorted. "Almost like a sign that there shouldn't be Frost Giants." A long sigh escaped her. "I shouldn't say that though, because it is part of Loki. I became pregnant with him not long after Laufey's attentions." She smiled sadly, her eyes far away. "I was so angry then. I hated him. Hated them both. The thing that was growing inside me, taking over my body, and the one who put it there. My skin grew colder as the pregnancy progressed, just as yours did. It made me sick, every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. This thing Laufey had done to me... I had never wanted children in the first place, let alone like this.

"But it all changed when I held him in my arms. Cliché, I know, but true. I'd never seen hands that small." She smiled. "He was tiny, but fates could he scream. I had carried so much hate inside me for so long that it hadn't even truly occurred to me that half of him was from me. But he looked just like me. Even his skin after a few days, turned from pale blue to pink. Laufey was furious. He'd wanted a son, someone to carry on his name, not a Frost Giant who looked like an Aesir. Heaven forbid. So I had a few glorious months with my son, without being bothered by Laufey. I don't know that I ever put him down for more than a few minutes that whole time. I was enchanted by everything he did. Here, finally, was something I had done that did not end in failure. Here was something undeniably good that had come from me. He saved me," she said simply.

"But it didn't last. Laufey had been baiting Odin while I was basking in my son, and again there was war. It provided the chance for me to escape, but even amidst a battle Laufey was furious that I would try to leave, and with his son, no matter how much Laufey loathed him. I was knocked out by the force of his blows, and I must have been taken for dead because when I woke again the dead lay all around me. The snow was falling with such a sting that each snowflake struck like a bee." She shuddered. "That horrible place is always snowing. I could tell by the number of bodies that quite a bit of time had passed and Loki was nowhere in sight. I thought I lost him. A baby, alone, in the freezing snow of a battlefield...no matter the number of blankets he was wrapped in, it would have been madness to believe he still lived.

"Again I was lost. I had nothing. I don't even remember how I got out of Jotunheim- grief took hold of me deeply. I found myself back in Vanaheim, studying magic, and studying war- searching for purpose. Searching for...myself, I suppose. And that led me to Frigga. She wasn't to see me- I knew I couldn't take that. But just to see her. I had to see her. And my surprise and joy- and yes, jealousy- when I saw a small, raven-haired boy running through the gardens. He looked so much like me I wondered if she must know he was mine.

"After that I couldn't stay away for long. I was hooked. When he grew older I even introduced myself to him. I couldn't help it. Not as his mother, of course. I knew he was intrigued by magic, knew it ran in his blood, so I introduced myself as a sorceress hoping to take him on as a pupil. It was the only way he would let me spend time with him." She smiled sadly. "He was so mistrusting, even as a boy. It near broke my heart, and yet I was so proud of him. The world will not do you any favors, and my son was smart enough to never believe any other than that."

Vilda unfolded her hands and turned back to the window, half watching the goings on in the courtyard. She turned back, the spell of her story broken. Darcy blinked. It was like waking from a dream. She was a very good story-teller.

"I've always loved him. No matter what he believes, I have always done what I could to ensure happiness for him. I know my methods have not always been... Well. Like I said, I'm telling you this because he deserves an explanation." She smiled sadly at Darcy, looking tired all of a sudden. "And I don't think he'll be much inclined to talk to me for a good while." If ever. The words hung unsaid but clearly felt.

"If he asks, I'll tell him," Darcy said quietly, feeling very small. Very young.

Vilda nodded thanks. She scooped up Darcy's empty bowl from the table, a mischievous, jovial grin in place as if she had not just shared her life story with Darcy. "I'll take that. My good deed for the day. It is my mission in life to be useful." And with that she swept out of the room, leaving Darcy sitting at the table, still processing what had just happened.