Gamer

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"But are you sure?!"

"Yep. Definitely."

"But it would suit you!"

"I like what I have already." It's a normal colour. Gai looked a little put out but thankfully returned the bright green suit to the cupboard where it wouldn't be forced onto innocent people.

The continuous forced exercise was bad enough without wearing matching outfits. At least Obito was lazy. Zabuza found himself lusting for the days that he could get away with doing next to nothing rather than being made to feel guilty for not attempting exercise.

"Right! It's time for our daily run!"

"...Couldn't we change how often we run? Like weekly. Monthly even." If he was honest he wanted to do even less than that.

"Never! I need my exercise!"

"Well how about you cut down on the push-ups or one of those things? You do more than anybody else would do."

"I need to keep fit! Especially if I want to become a good teacher."

"A what now?"

"A teacher! I wish to show the young people how to enjoy their youth through exercise!"

"That sounds... great?" Poor future children. "But couldn't you afford to relax a little?" In the week that he'd been here all the boy did was exercise and study. He never did anything else in his life.

"What do you mean?"

"You only exercise, it's kind of nuts. Maybe you should get a better hobby?"

"I cannot afford to slack off!"

"But why?"

"Because I have been outcompeted for the first time!"

"By who?"

"By your cousin of course!"

"Oh." Who else would it be?

"Until I surpass Kakashi, I shall not back down!"

"I see... That's definitely impossible though."

"What? Why?" Damn... What would Obito say? Hmm...

"Well... You have to stay silent about this ok? It's a secret! You could be killed if you tell anyone."

"My lips are sealed!" Gai was definitely gullible enough for this to work.

"Kakashi isn't actually my cousin; he only lived with my relatives... He's actually a..." What are they called again? Oh yeah! "A robot." Perhaps it would work.

"A robot? I see..." Uh oh. I think he can tell. "That explains everything! I knew he was too good to be true!"

"Yeah... He is frustratingly perfect." Thank god this guy's such a gullible fool.

"Does Obito know?"

"Of course! He bought Kakashi to be his lover." He remembered reading something to that effect in a manga somewhere so it would probably work.

"That's amazing! So there's no way I could ever outcompete him?"

"Nope. He'll always be too good for you."

"Oh... Well, at least I know it's hopeless." The boy looked kind of put out and now Zabuza felt bad.

"It's not completely hopeless! You're an above average normal person!"

"Really?"

"Of course!" He wasn't going to mention that he was just as bad as Kakashi. There was no way he was going to pretend to be robotic.

"So I should never give up!"

"Nope. But you should definitely cut down on the exercising. You really need a better hobby."

"I see... In that case, let's go hiking!"

"Brilliant..."

-Page Break-

"Have you noticed something different today?"

"Eh? No I don't think so. Why?"

"Just that something feels odd." Kakashi had felt this odd feeling all day. It was a little unsettling. This had bothered him a while but it wasn't until he looked towards the end of the hall that he realised the problem. "Ah. I should've known."

"What is it?" Obito followed Kakashi's gaze and understood immediately. "What's he doing now?"

"I think he's resumed his staring except it's a little more extreme than usual."

"...I'm guessing that Zabuza definitely had something to do with this."

"Most definitely." They were further confused by Gai walking over to them.

"There's no need to worry! Your secret's safe with me!" It took them a few minutes to process this cryptic statement.

"Secret?" Obito looked over at Kakashi who shrugged. Clearly he was equally as confused.

"Your 'cousin' told me all about it." Uh oh. That doesn't sound hopeful. Gai was a very nice person but sadly he wasn't good when it came to privacy or subtlety. If he knew about Zabuza and Kakashi's origins, it would not be good.

"What did he say exactly?" The hallways weren't too crowded so it was unlikely that anyone would hear.

"Where Kakashi came from of course!" Crap! I'm going to kill him. From the look of his face Kakashi shared the same opinion. "I'm kind of surprised you're into that kind of thing Obito but I would never judge a friend!" Gai winked at them once more before disappearing down the hall.

"..."

"..."

"...Ok, I'm not sure about this but I think Zabuza has told him something stupid."

"Definitely not where we came from. Knowing Zabuza he probably told him that I'm your sex slave or something like that."

"...Oh hell. I'm going to have to kick his ass when I see him next." Obito was awkward enough about his sex life without anything adding to it.

And when they did see Zabuza standing in the street outside the school a few hours later Obito started marching over with an angry look in his eye and a cricket bat in his hand. No way was he allowing his boyfriend to have all the fun. As soon as Zabuza noticed the approaching threat he quickly scarpered.

"Get back here you asshole! You can't run forever!" The fact that Kakashi just stood and watched with amusement while everyone around them stared at him just increased his rage. "And you! Why didn't you help?!"

"Well you were doing so well by yourself." He was soon slapped hard.

"You better beat him up next time we see him or I'll kill you!"

"Understood. Where did you get that bat though?"

"I... acquired it from that cupboard of sports stuff by the field."

"Acquired?"

"Well they left them lying around so I thought they wouldn't mind me using one." He wasn't going to mention that they were lying on the floor in the cupboard and he acquired them by sneaking in when the teacher left it unlocked. There was no way he attempting to beat Zabuza without at least some kind of weapon.

Zabuza, meanwhile, was hiding behind a nearby wall. Obviously he wasn't scared. Of course it wasn't that. It wasn't like Obito could do anything to him but he wasn't taking any chances.

"What are you doing down there?!" Jesus fucking Christ! Zabuza propelled himself several metres across the pavement and landed on his ass. Gai was standing and looking down at him. "Is something wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong with me! How long have you been there?"

"Only a few minutes! I thought you were spying on someone."

"Why would I...? Never mind. You told Obito didn't you?"

"Of course! He's my friend!"

"Great..."

"Is something wrong?"

"It's nothing." Even though I will be murdered in the street next time I see him.

"Why were you waiting here? Did you miss me that much?" Zabuza had never come to meet him after school before. In fact, he'd never had anyone meet up with him outside of school.

"Well I had nothing better to do!" All he'd been doing was sitting around at home all day. Anyone would want a change of pace with that kind of lifestyle.

"Do you want to do something?!" He nearly recoiled when he saw the eager look in Gai's eyes.

"Err..."

"Wonderful!" ...But I didn't say anything. "Let's go!" Zabuza could do nothing else but to allow the boy to drag him down the street.

-Page Break-

"...Ok, I have to ask, what is this?" Gai looked confused at this question.

"What do you mean?"

"...You do realise we're just sitting on a street corner, right?"

"Well of course!"

"...That doesn't explain much."

"But isn't this what people normally do?"

"Why would people do this?"

"...I'm not sure... I just know I've seen people sitting on street corners like this."

"But why? Is there some kind of point?" No matter how hard he thought about it, there was no logical reason for just sitting there.

"...I don't really know. I just assumed there was some kind of point to all this."

"..." I really despair of this idiot.