Gamer
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
Kakashi had been hoping for a quiet afternoon alone with his soap omnibus and his adorable boyfriend. This plan was largely ruined when he entered the living room and found Gai and Zabuza awkwardly perched on the sofa with Obito looking irritated on the other side of the room.
"...Ok what the hell is going on?" He had only been gone for a few minutes so this wasn't an entirely unreasonable question.
"We've come to visit you, my youthful rival!" How someone could have so much energy at all times was beyond him.
"I see..." He looked at Obito once more who was now sending him pleading looks. Clearly getting rid of the intruders was his responsibility. "Well you've visited so now you can leave."
"You do have a strange sense of humour! So, what are we doing?" Gai was so foolish he couldn't pick up on even the most obvious hints. And Zabuza was clearly not going to say anything from the way he was staring intently at the wallpaper.
"How about we go for a walk... A long walk. Except it'll just be you two. And you'll go home afterwards."
"How about we go for a run! Just you and me!" Gai was now right in his face and Obito was now stifling a laugh. It was lucky this man was a moron and so would be fairly easy to trick.
"That's a great idea! Let's see who can go from here to the other side of town the fastest!" If this worked then he had no hope for any children this boy may accidentally father.
"Wonderful!" Gai dashed out the door whilst Kakashi ambled out behind him.
"Surely he's not that evil?" Obito gave Zabuza a sceptical look. "...Point taken."
"You should know what he's like, you guys are so similar."
"We're nothing alike!"
"...No comment." Kakashi returned alone and looking triumphant. "That was quick."
"What can I say? The boy's an idiot."
"How far do you think he'll get?"
"If he notices at all I'll be surprised." Zabuza knew that Gai wasn't going to win any awards for his intelligence.
"Why are you two here anyway? I'm guessing you just wanted a break from babysitting."
"...Pretty much."
"And why did you let him in?"
"Because I couldn't duck fast enough." When Obito had realised who it was outside, he'd attempted to hide under the window. Sadly the bushy browed one had seen him and started waving his arms and shouting loudly. As he'd been looking directly at them, it would've been difficult to say he hadn't noticed them.
"Ok, I am going to watch my soaps and if anyone interferes with my viewing pleasure they will have a ladle shoved up where the sun doesn't shine."
"Considering you're technically freeloading off my family, shouldn't I get a say in what we watch?"
"I missed two episodes this week! I need to catch up."
"Just read one of those trashy TV magazines and catch up that way. It's not really life or death, is it?"
"It could be!" Zabuza raised an eyebrow at him and Obito scowled back. It was clear that he was unimpressed with Obito's taste in men and he was stuck between throwing things at his head or feeling dejected about how odd he had to be to like such an ass.
"You better not complain about me using the TV for gaming later."
"...You two never change."
"You say it like it's a bad thing. Although I do wish he wouldn't bother with that stupid Xbox. Even if the rage is pretty funny."
"It's only funny when it's not directed at you." Zabuza shuddered from the image of angry Obito. The boy was not to be screwed with.
"Not as bad as pissy older brother though. And his psychotic boyfriend."
"Oh god yes. Why do both of them have such bad taste?"
"Hey! He has excellent taste! Except for Rin."
"Rin?"
"Brown haired bitch. Whiny and irritating."
"Why people like these women is beyond me."
"I know! Still at least he had good sense in the end."
"...You guys do realise I'm still here?"
"The fact that he's with a boy who acts like a middle aged housewife isn't that much of a step up."
"A middle aged housewife?! What's that supposed to mean?"
"Hey guys! Seriously, you're getting annoying." Of course no one listened yet again.
"You read those trashy romance novels! And you love dramas!"
"So does Shisui! There's nothing wrong with that!"
"Shisui is another story..."
"You live with the green clad fitness fanatic; you've already lost at life."
"You're the ones who set me up with him!"
"...Ok I won't deny that. I almost feel for you on that one."
"You should do! You know he woke me up in the early hours of the morning because he needed someone to keep tally of his push-ups. Push-ups! Who does that?!"
"Jesus. You need alcohol."
"It'd have to be pretty strong."
"You guys just aren't going to pay attention to me at all, are you?" Obito scowled. They both carried on chattering. He tried waving his arms and he tried taking off his shirt. Nothing could stop them. ...It seems I'm stuck in the house with a pair of gossiping old women. At least Bakakashi had forgotten about those stupid soaps.
"Hey guys, guess what? I'm having a sex change." No reaction. ...How far could I take this? "I'm secretly a world famous jazz musician." Nothing. "I have a shoe fetish." Still nothing. "I'm leaving you for a Norwegian tap dancer called Derek." Either he was invisible or they were deaf.
"How?! How did you beat me?" Gai finally managed to grab their attention when he collapsed through the door. He'd been surprisingly fast considering the distance but at least it stopped the chatter.
"I'm just good." Kakashi wasn't sweating and wasn't even wearing shoes. Most people would grasp the truth. Most people were not that dense.
"Perhaps next time..." While there was a lull in conversation Obito decided to take the opportunity.
"Right! Xbox."
"What? I haven't watched my programme!"
"You were talking. It's my house. Deal with it."
-Page Break-
"Aim to the left!"
"That's useless advice. It's clearly the right."
"He'll never hit it that way."
"Well if he'd summoned an atronach when I said, this wouldn't be a problem."
"Just shut up! You guys are making this game worse!" Obito greatly regretted letting Zabuza and Kakashi watch him playing their original game. Gai was just watching and enjoying but the irritating advice of the other two was driving him nuts.
"We're only helping."
"Your boyfriend is very ungrateful."
"I know, but I still love him."
"Well if you're so good then you play it." Obito forced the controls into Kakashi's hands and sat smugly behind him. Now we'll see who's so brilliant. He can't even use the damn controls!
As expected Kakashi just spammed random buttons and ended up dying several times. Zabuza's 'helpful' advice wasn't useful either and so Obito couldn't resist making a comment.
"I thought you were an expert Bakakashi?" The evil glare was so worth it.
"If I could just use my magic directly and project it in, this wouldn't be a problem."
"Well life isn't that easy so tough luck."
"I could try it." Before Obito could say anything Kakashi had started forming a ball of lightning in his hand. Clearly he'd forgotten the presence of Gai.
"What is this? How is this happening?"
"Err... Well..." There were few sane things to say about this. He then noticed the way Kakashi reached towards the screen with the lightning filled hand. "Stop that! You'll break it all! Bakakashi!"
The warning came a little too late and the loud bang from the corner of the room and the sudden smoke showed that the warning had come too late.
"Dammit Bakakashi! I told you!" He waited for the witty remark or feeble excuse but nothing came. "...Bakakashi?"
"Obito...?" Zabuza sounded worried. "I don't think he's here."
"What?!" He dashed forward to see that Kakashi had indeed vanished. "Oh shit. Where the hell is he?"
"Wh-what's going on?" Gai was understandably shaken but Zabuza could deal with that. He had more important things to worry about.
The TV and the Xbox were both still intact and working so at least there was that. The game on the other hand had gone back to the opening screen. He grabbed the controls and bought up the load game screen.
Instead of the two new save files he'd made earlier, there were multiple save files each showing a very familiar name.
"Oh shit."
I'm planning on finishing this story in the next couple of chapters and it took me a while to work out how I was going to do it, hence it's been so long since the last update :L Hopefully the next chapter will be sooner. Thanks for reading and please review :3