A/N: Make sure you caught the last chapter. I think a lot of people didn't.

I think you'll like this update a lot.

XXX

Derek's tired eyes fluttered around anxiously as they waited for the neurosurgical consult to come in. He couldn't move his legs; he couldn't move them but he could feel Meredith's hand resting comfortingly on his thigh. Mustering all the strength he could he just tried to move one toe but failed miserably.

"It'll be okay," said Meredith soothingly, squeezing his hand. "Even if it is," she gulped, "permanent, we'll work it all out."

"Since when did you become such an optimist?" he rasped.

"I guess I've been hanging around you too much," she teased. Erin sat silently in a chair feet away from Derek's bed. Her fingers were laced together, resting on one crossed knee. She paid little attention to her nervous fiancé and more to a spot on the floor. Meredith sent a backwards glare at her, hating her for not being more supportive but she wasn't surprised in the slightest.

"Well, you can be optimistic for the both of us," croaked Derek, attempting to flash her a smile.

"I can do that," she nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. "You've been my rock for so long, I can be yours for now."

"Thank you."

"No need. That's what best friends are for, right?" He smiled softly in response. They sat silently for minutes that dragged on like hours until Dr. Nelson walked in holding a chart.

He sighed deeply, adjusting his wire rimmed glasses as he leaned his arms against the wheeling tray table that sat at the end of the bed. "I looked over your MRI and CT scans." Dr. Nelson, the man they called, Shadow Shepherd, sighed heavily.

"Can you just stop looking like he's dying," snapped Meredith irately. Derek squeezed her hand as tightly as he could and she squeezed back.

"Sorry, Dr. Grey. I was saying, I looked over the scans and, I'm sorry, Dr. Shepherd, it doesn't looked promising. Your scans show an incomplete injury, that's why you've been reporting feeling but no movement. It's a little less common than the complete injury but you know that."

A few tears pooled in Derek's eyes but he gulped a sob back. "So, I probably won't walk again."

"There are miracle cases but, I'm sorry, Derek," said Nelson, addressing his college by his first name. Derek nodded in understanding. Meredith gripped tightly, offering as much support as she could.

"I'll leave you with your family," he said, beginning to bow out of the room. "A nurse or Dr. Bailey will be in shortly to get you sitting up a bit."

Silence fell upon the room, crushing every person in it. Meredith watched her best friend's face twist as he tried not to cry. She looked over to Carolyn and Amelia, searching their faces for any sign that they knew what to say. They both glanced back at her, just as lost as she was. All Meredith could think to do was lean in and kiss his forehead supportively. "It'll be okay," she breathed against the bandage covering his head. Derek stared into her eyes as to say, Thank you but please shut up.

Thankfully, at that moment a nurse walked into the room. "Dr. Shepherd," she smiled. "Let's see if we can get you up and coughing a little. Just to clear your lungs and avoid post pneumonia."

He nodded noncommittally, readying himself for the pain. The nurse helped him sit up before asking him to cough a few times. With every cough, he squeezed Meredith's hand tightly. Finally, convinced he couldn't take anymore, the nurse raised the bed so he could sit up and he lay back. The room turned silent once more as Derek's erratic breathing returned to normal.

"I can't do this," said Erin nervously standing out of her chair.

"Erin," breathed Derek.

"I'm sorry, Derek, I can't do this. This isn't what I signed up for. This…this can't be my life from now on. It's too big a change. We were supposed to be the perfect couple... this isn't perfect. This isn't even close." Derek was speechless as his fiancé, the women he loved, walked out.

Meredith let go of Derek's hand and ran out after Erin. "Erin!" she called behind her.

Erin turned around to face her. "I'm sorry, Meredith. I'm leaving."

"I don't care," snapped Meredith, stepping up to the woman. "I just have something to say to you." Erin opened her mouth to protest but Meredith stopped her. "I hate you. I've hated you since I first spent any substantial time with you. You're snobby, stuck up, and a real bitch. Derek deserves better. You were never right for him. He was just a pretty boy, highly paid, neurosurgeon that you could carry around in your purse. But walking out because he can't walk and that doesn't fit into your perfect little life, that proves you never even loved him at all. My advice, rethink the kind of person you are because in no meaning of the word are you a good one," she hissed.

Resisting the urge to slap her across the face, Meredith turned around and walked back to Derek's room. "I'm sorry, Derek," she sighed. "She left." Derek's head fell in a mixture of shame, depression, and anger. Tears fell from his eyes at the prospect of spending the rest of his life alone, his dreams of having a family crushed like the metal of Meredith's Jeep by the idiot who'd T-boned the car.

Than I ever was with her.
Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now,
Than I ever was with her.

XXX

A/N: So? What'd you think?

She's gone! I think that deserves a comment.