A/N:...you didn't think I'd forget the rest of the guys did you?

Chapter 15 – What Scares You the Most?

T7S

Tatiana carefully shined her ball with the black velvet cloth and looked over at Hyde and Kelso who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Fez was an exciting vibration of energy. "What do you see for me in there?" he asked excitedly.

She smiled at her little Hierophant and indicated that he should come closer to the card table. "You may touch the ball." Fez scooted over on his knees and gazed at the crystal ball in amazement. Within the orb he could see swirling colors and beautiful women and clothes! Wonderful models dressed in the trendiest garb and dress suits with leather accents. It was almost enough to make the foreigner giddy.

Then without warning, a whoosh noise filled the cabin of the Airstream and Fez could feel himself become sucked into the crystal ball. He wanted to scream but the colors and vivid hues swirling around him seemed to extract the breath from his lungs. His eyes widened in surprise and suddenly he couldn't open his mouth.

His hands flew to his face and the place where his lips should have been was just skin. He had no mouth! Tatiana's image wavered in front of him. The crystal ball had become like some huge glass aquarium and now he could drag breaths of air through his nose. Panic was making his heart race and he closed his eyes praying for some miracle that it wasn't true.

Now the air he was breath suddenly smelled like chocolate. Chocolate and mint and cookies. Snicker doodles and brownies and cake. From outside the aquarium walls was the fortune teller dressed as a baker. A very sexy baker wearing red stilettos and she was holding a platter of fresh iced donuts and crullers and bear claws.

"Fez, my love….this is your greatest fear realized. You are surrounded by the sweetest treats in the world and yet you can't eat them."

Now she was inside the crystal ball-aquarium chamber holding the platter under his nose where the fresh baked scent was nearly arousing. She set the treats on a small table that appeared and touched his face.

"Because you are one of my favorite of the Arcana cards, I will assist you."

Tatiana produced a razor knife and it glinted in the crystal light as she slashed a line in his face where his mouth used to be. Fez instinctively jerked but there was no blood. There was no pain! His fingers felt his face and he had lips! Sweet merciful heavens he could eat!

Tatiana handed him a golden fork and a plate of chewy nut brownies. Sighing loudly, Fez shoveled the fork into his mouth and bit down and this time he felt pain. Aiiyy! What was excruciating pain was this? He could taste the chocolate goodness but it hurt him to eat it! He looked at Tatiana who was holding a pair of dentures in her hand.

"Oh Fez. Your love of candy had led you to this." She tenderly touched his cheeks. "Your teeth were rotten and the dentist had to pull them all out."

She set a tube of Dentu-Grip into his hands along with the false teeth. "Put some glue on the uppers and lowers, slip them in your mouth and enjoy! I have to go now!"

With a chilly breeze, the fortune teller was gone.

Fez was surrounded by all the sweetness in the world and he could not eat any of it.

He was doomed.

T7S

Eric looked around his room and discovered he was in his Spiderman pajamas. Cool. But wait, wasn't he just at the carnival? Hey….that smelled like bacon! Throwing open his bedroom door, Eric ran down the stairs and through the living room, pushing his way into the kitchen. The sounds of bacon sizzling in a frying pan were heavenly.

"Good morning son. Have a seat and I'll have breakfast ready in a minute." Kitty smiled and handed over a glass of orange juice with fresh pulp. Yummy. Eric carried his drink to the table and sat down across from his dad.

The newspaper rustled and Red's voice sounded a little gravely as he said, "Pass me the bacon."

Eric looked up and saw two hands holding the newspaper, a third holding a cup of hot coffee and one reaching for the bacon plate. Eric freaked and dropped the plate, backing up frantically, his chair toppled over. His father was folding the paper with two of four hands and Eric blinked.

Red Forman's head was on a spider's body!

"Dumbass, where's my bacon?" Sweat beaded on Eric's forehead. What the hell was going on? The Red-headed spider rose up and Eric could see four legs surrounding the seat of the kitchen chair. The cephalothorax of the body was huge. The scar from his dad's heart surgery was still visible outside the hairy body of the dad spider.

With shaky hands, Eric held out the bacon plate so fingers at the end of the "hands" could grasp the plate. One of the extra hands grabbed the bacon while the other continued to hold the coffee cup. "Eric what is wrong with you this morning?"

With a choked high pitched voice, Eric shrieked, "MOM! What's going on!"

A gypsy in a Kitty Forman flip wig turned around with a ten pound plate full of bacon. "Give your father more bacon Eric. He needs a lot of protein carrying around those eight legs."

Eric pointed wildly. "You! You did this! What did you do to my dad?"

The head of Red Forman exposed his chelicerae – those freaky claw-like appendages that usually contain venom. In this moment, his dad was merely using them for chewing his pork fat. Eric looked at his Spiderman pajamas and in pure disgust tore the offending garments off his body until he was standing only in his briefs.

Red sneered, "If you're going to pull another Mr. Nude incident in the kitchen, please don't. I've seen it already."

Tatiana mocked his mother's patented Kitty Forman laugh. "Ahahahaha….Mr. Nude…Oh Red," She smiled at the giant spider, "You are so funny this morning!"

Eric covered his eyes and ran screaming to his room. He stumbled up the stairs earning a rug burn on his shin and half crawled to his bedroom slamming the door behind him. Looking in the mirror over the dresser he could see nubs forming on his ribs. His own set of little fleshy appendages that were moving like….like baby spider hands!

Tatiana's face appeared in the mirror. "This is your greatest fear Eric. Spiders. Don't be afraid….embrace your fear and learn from it."

From somewhere downstairs, Eric could hear the skittering of his father coming up the stairs shouting, "Where's my bacon Eric?"

He fainted.

T7S

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A/N: ….okay, I've probably upset a few people. I hear you thinking, OMG, how could she do that? Well, it's a peyote butter induced hallucination – WE know it's not real but the characters? Not so much. Keep reading please…..