Group could've gone better. Piper spent the whole time thinking about Alex. The gods or fates, or whatever controlled the universe seemed to having a laugh at her expense.

On one hand, seeing Alex made Piper feel somewhat self-conscious. Piper started a running tally of all the things that she should be embarrassed about: she gained ten pounds, is definitely not wearing makeup, there are massive bags under her eyes, she still is jobless and is crazy enough to run into Alex at the psychiatrist. Piper desperately longed to find Alex and tell her all of her problems. To have Alex wrap her arms around her and tell her that she'll be okay and that Alex will take care of her. The anger in Alex's voice was the only reason stopping Piper from reaching out. That, and a nagging voice in the back of her head saying, "you can't handle your own problems, why do you expect other people to?"

She drove home. Her half drunk mother was on the phone talking loudly. When Piper walked in, her mother's eyes got big and she started whispering to the mysterious caller. She waved at Piper in an attempt to not be obvious that Piper was the center of discussion. Piper rolled her eyes and went to her room. At times like this, she too old to be behaving like a rebellious teenager.

"Piper, sweetie, will you come down for dinner?!" Her mother screamed.

Piper, curious and yet very cautious, slowly made her way downstairs. She heard chatter and voices she didn't recognize. Realizing her mother was trying to set her up on date, Piper paused and listened and heard a nasally male voice saying that he graduated from Brandies University five years ago. Piper, mortified, stormed into the room with the express purpose of pulling her mother aside and calmly telling her that this was inappropriate, that she was in no position to date anyone, let alone know whether she wanted to even date men, when she entered the room, she was stunned silent and very confused.

"Darling, come meet my very good friends Lauren and Eugene Solomon and their twins Rebecca and Ralph. They're a little bit younger than you, but Rebecca graduated from Wesleyan and Ralph was just telling us about Brandies. Come. Sit for dinner." Her mother slightly slurred.

Rebecca might as well been draped in a rainbow flag, she could not have been anymore obviously gay. She had a crew cut and purple hair. Slightly overweight, she was wearing a button up shirt flannel with the sleeves cut off. She looked incredibly bored. Ralph was the male, nerdy version of his sister. He too was wearing a button up shirt, with sleeves and necktie.

Piper tried really hard to not laugh when the realization hit her that her mother was trying to cover all possible attractions. Her mother couldn't figure out her sexuality and in a very desperate attempt to get Piper settled she invited one person of each sex to dinner. It wasn't hard to blame her mothers confusion, Piper didn't even know.

Being raised in her family, Piper knew not to make a scene. She ran a million of excuses through her brain quickly.

"I'm sorry Mother, I told Cal that I would meet him for dinner tonight. I didn't realize we had plans."

"Oh sweetie, you know Cal doesn't eat real food, at least not real meat. He also eats later than he should. Why don't you sit down and eat some food here with me and the Solomons?"

Out of excuses, Piper sat down in the only chair left, next to Rebecca and across from Ralph. Her mother sat at the end of the table, lording over the conversation and the food. The food was prepared by Nina, her mother's maid/chef.

"So Piper, that's such a pretty name" Eugene said with a smile.

"Oh yes, we named her after her grandmother's surname. It was going to be her middle name originally, but we decided when we met her she was more of a Piper than a Catherine."

"Your mother was telling us you attended Smith College? How did you enjoy your time there?"

"Oh, I loved it, I was an English Major and Massuchusetts was gorgeous in the fall." Piper answered out of reflex more than any real interest.

Ralph agreed and then the conversation continued on with what felt like practiced questions and answers. Its like the whole conversation was pre-rehearsed and true to the uppity, New England WASPY form. Piper was bored, but polite. Rachel kept silent unless spoken to and appeared to be bored out of her mind.

About halfway through dinner, "Piper, what do you do now? Are you a writer?"

The question shook Piper. "Um…well…no…"

Her mother jumped in quickly, "She makes fragrant soap with her best friend Polly. They are about to get a contract with Barney's, but Polly just had a little one, so they're going to wait a little to take on such a large customer. She's our little entrepreneur"

Stunned at what her mother was saying, Piper realized that the reason that the Solomons were here is because they didn't know that Piper just got out of jail. Unsure of what to do, but unwilling to lie by omission to these clearly well meaning, but bland people, Piper blurted out,

"Actually, we would've gotten Barney's, except I was incarcerated and its really hard to negotiate from prison."

Silence. The Solomon parents exchanged looks. Ralph chocked on his food and was gasping for air. Rachel let out a snort and was laughing.

"Smith and Prison, no wonder your mother was confused about your sexuality. I mean, those two things just scream lesbian, although I guess you know how to make your own soap on a stick so you can't drop it."

"The soap dropping problem only exists in a man's prison."

"Hah, you would know! What were you in for?"

The other Solomons and Pipers mother were just staring at both of them wide-eyed, silent because this was a conversation that no one had rehearsed, but Piper took the question in stride.

"I carried a suitcase full of international drug cartel money through customs at an airport."

"Why?"

Here Piper started laughing, "Because my girlfriend at the time asked me to"

At this point both Eugene and Ralph were shoveling food to get done quicker. Rachel was laughing and Lauren had just gulped a full glass of wine without pausing for a breathe. Piper caught a glance at her mother, who was glaring at her so hard that Piper thought she might catch fire.

"Oh, just look at the time, I really shouldn't keep Cal waiting. Eugene, Lauren it was lovely to meet you. Ralph, I really hope you enjoy accounting. Rachel, it was a pleasure. I will see you later Mother."

Piper grabbed her purse and left quickly.