A/N: I'm not exactly happy with this update but... here it is.

XXX

As the door to Dr. Wyatt's office creaked open, Meredith shot out of her seat, staring at the opening door. The blonde psychiatrist pushed Derek's wheelchair out of the office, into the waiting area, muttering something to him as he nodded. Immediately Meredith grinned at Derek but only got a slight half grimace half smile in return.

"You're done early," Meredith commented pleasantly.

"Actually, Meredith, I was just hoping I could have a word with you before we finish for the day," said Dr. Wyatt, leaning on the door.

She nodded. "Sure." Dr. Wyatt walked back into her office, waiting for Meredith expectantly. "Be back in a few," she said to Derek before following the doctor. He didn't acknowledge her with anything more than a half nod.

Dr. Wyatt smiled softly as she welcomed Meredith into the office and closed the door. "Thank you for agreeing to talk to me."

"Of course, anything for Derek," Meredith nodded, standing awkwardly by the couch. The doctor motioned for Meredith to sit down as she fell into her leather chair, leaning on her left elbow. Uncomfortably she perched on the edge of the couch. Psychiatrists had never been her favorite profession of people: too intrusive. For Derek, I can deal.

"He's been talking a lot about you…when he talks," she noted. "You seem to be a great friend to him."

Meredith smiled. "He's been in my life for years and I love him."

Dr. Wyatt seemed to study her closely as if she was trying to read Meredith like a book. "You're one of the last people who has stayed with him."

"And I don't plan to change that," insisted Meredith definitively.

"That's good. Your relationship," she began, "is…"

"Strictly platonic," she said quickly, too quickly for the doctor not to notice.

"That's all?" asked Dr. Wyatt.

"When someone as amazing as Derek is in your life so much," she sighed, shaking her head, "it's hard not to…"

"Fall in love?" the older woman supplied. Meredith nodded. "Have you ever considered telling him?"

"Of course. Every day since I realized it."

Dr. Wyatt cocked her head to the side looking at Meredith curiously. "Why haven't you?"

Meredith wrung her hands, staring down at them rather than look at the doctor. "He's my best friend. If he rejected me, I couldn't- I don't want to loose him."

"But, if he didn't love you back, would you stop being his friend and being there for him?"

"Of course not," she said, affronted. "We would have to just put it behind us."

"Then, why haven't you done it?" the doctor questioned. "From what I hear, your friendship is strong enough to withstand it and, if you're taking on Derek's care nearly by yourself, as a person, you must be incredibly strong."

She's the second person to say that. "I planned to tell him," Meredith admitted. "His mother talked me into it. Do you think it's a bad idea?"

"Not at all. I think clearing the air and putting it out on the table would be good for both of you. You'll be spending a lot of time with him." Dr. Wyatt shifted in her seat, still looking Meredith directly in the eyes. "There shouldn't be anything hiding between you that could cause trouble. You may not realize that there could be some long-standing tension between you two. He needs you to be completely on with him all the time, if you're willing to be his primary care taker."

"I am," she put in quickly.

"So, you should tell him. But only if you're ready."

Meredith nodded. An awkward pause fell over the room. Shifting awkwardly Meredith said, "I should get back to him now. He was discharged this morning so his mother is probably waiting in the car."

"Of course," stated Dr. Wyatt. "Tell Derek I'll see him on Monday."

Meredith nodded and walked out of the office, her mind heavy. When she found Derek he was in his chair, idly twiddling his fingers. "Let's go," she said with a somewhat forced smile.

XXX

Meredith pushed Derek's chair into her house, leaving the door unlocked behind her for Carolyn, who had gone to the supermarket. Derek had been quiet the whole car ride back and Meredith hadn't pushed. He was in a dark place and she understood.

"I'll pull out the couch for now," she offered.

"Mer-" he interrupted.

She ignored him. "I'll get one of those lift things for the stairs put in as soon as possible."

"Mer-"

"But for now you'll have to sleep down here. The pull out is pretty comfortable."

"Mer-"

"Tomorrow the occupational therapist will be over to help with some normal stuff," she continued, almost ranting. "But tonight we'll just muddle through."

"Meredith Grey!" he exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Yes?" she prompted.

Derek's eyes shifted from his best friend to the floor. "I can't do this to you," he said softly.

Meredith looked at him curiously. "Do what?"

"Flip your life upside down. You can't put a lift thing on your stairs."

Meredith pushed Derek next to the couch and took a seat, facing him. Her hand rested on his thigh. "Why not? It's a little bulky but it'll be fine and, financially, it won't put me out. It's going on your credit card with your lovely neurosurgeon's salary on it," she teased.

"Well don't spend all of it. It's not like I'll be operating again," he replied grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No, but you'll be teaching."

"Oh, I will be?" he asked sneeringly.

"Yes."

"And you've decided this?"

"Yes, Derek. You're not putting your mind to waste," insisted Meredith. "Everything will be a new normal in a few months. You'll get used to the chair, you'll be teaching at University of Washington, I'll be back at work, and we'll all be fine."

"Where's pessimistic Meredith?" he asked, almost teasing her like the 'good old days.'

"She's been replaced by positive attitude Meredith," she answered simply.

Derek cracked a small smile. "I miss pessimistic Meredith."

"Get over it. She's gone now."

It's time to begin, isn't it?
I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am

XXX

A/N: So what do you think?