Shepard leaned against the elevator's railing, blinking the sleep from her eyes. It had been another short night for her in terms of slumber; the visions from the beacon were getting more vivid, twisting her own memories in at times, which only made it that much more terrifying. She shook her head clear of the memory of Amaterasu on fire and tried to focus on the slow, clunking gears carrying the elevator down to the cargo bay.
Instead she found herself returning to the previous night's conversation with the prothean researcher. The discussion had gone both better and worse than she had hoped. Better in that she knew fully that Liara was being honest, that she had nothing to do with Saren, and that she could be a great help in the future with her knowledge. She also didn't make sexual advances at me, which was a definite plus…she thought, though she knew it wouldn't necessarily make things easier. While some good came out of their talk, knowing Liara was disconnected from the Matriarch was troublesome, and might place her in danger if she were to hand her over to Tevos, especially knowing that trying to rescue Liara may have landed the councilor in hot water. And I'm pretty sure her enthusiasm over the beacon and her damned soul-trapping eyes are going to give me some trouble. No idea how I'm going to be able to be around her for the next few weeks…or months, if it comes to that…
The doors opened, and Shepard marched out quickly, her primary purpose able to distract her away from thoughts of the asari. She knew Ashley's shift and had decided to drop by and have a bit of a chat with the gunnery chief, hoping to smooth things over after the debrief. Wrex and Garrus would be busy working on the Mako, so they'd have the place to themselves.
She stopped a few feet away from Williams, who was busy taking apart an assault rifle for cleaning. If she knew Shepard was there, she wasn't showing it.
"Williams, can we talk?" Shepard asked, calmly and simply, slowly moving to lean on the lockers.
Williams kept working, her hands deftly dissecting the weapon, each movement efficient and fluid. "I'm a bit busy right now, ma'am. Can it wait?" she asked, still carrying some frustration from the previous day.
"I'd prefer to clear the air a bit right now, chief. I'll help you catch up when we're done." Shepard said, looking sidelong at the young marine.
"I'd prefer you stop almost getting yourself killed, but I guess we're safe from that here." Williams snapped, before her face dropped. "…Ma'am."
"Point taken, Williams. I could have handled Therum better." Shepard said, pausing to figure out how to say what she wanted to say. "I should have handled it better. I know you're upset at me, so you have permission to speak freely. Lay it on me."
Williams turned and looked at Shepard skeptically. "I think I made my opinion clear in the comm room yesterday, skipper." The marine noted, sitting on the table and crossing her arms. "I've seen you on Eden Prime and Therum and…you're reckless. I already lost the 212. I don't want to lose humanity's first Spectre, or the opportunity you gave me."
The fire in Williams' eyes had died down to embers as concern overtook frustration on the marine's face.
"I made a lot of mistakes down there, I'm not happy about them. Trust me, I don't mean to be reckless, it's just…" Shepard started, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted without being condescending. "I'm more experienced. I've gone to hell and back and have souvenirs to prove it. You, Kaidan, Tali…you haven't. Sometimes I get this idea in my mind that only I can do something, that I need to protect you all from it, and that's where I tend to go solo. Happened with the krogan. I should have trusted you more, and in the end, you two saved my skin."
"Shepard, I joined the Alliance to serve and protect. I'm glad you get it, just…let me do that. You said it yourself, you put the world on your back. I know it's easy to think it's all your responsibility, but this mission is bigger than a prothean expert. I don't want you killing yourself over small stuff, because then who's going to stop Saren?" Williams said, holding the ammo cartridge for the rifle in her hand.
"Ash, without some prothean know-how, I might not be able to figure this vision out. Meanwhile, Saren has resources and options to get closer to his goals. It's not Liara's fault that Therum was a close call. It would have been close no matter how we swung it, and if we left her to Saren, she'd be dead or taken, at no risk to that damn bastard." Shepard noted, hoping she was making some sense.
"I…I know Shepard. I guess it's better that she's with us than with that turian asshole." Williams said quietly. "Just remember that the rest of us…we're here to help you, too. You didn't need to try and save her all by yourself. I don't want to worry about you dying every mission."
"Like I said, I made mistakes. I can't promise they won't happen again, but I'll do my best. It's only fair I let you bear some of my burden if I'm bearing part of yours. I didn't work as part of a team down there, and I didn't let you know my ribs were shot either. It put things at risk, and it was stupid of me. I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to get out of that volcano." Shepard noted. "So I officially apologize for that."
Williams let out a sigh of relief. "This is just weird. If I said what I said to any of my old commanding officers, I would have been…well, it would have been bad. Now you're here apologizing to me?"
"Luckily I'm not one of your old COs. But I'll always own my mistakes Williams. You can expect that from me, and I'll expect that from you." Shepard joked, chuckling. "But seriously, Williams. Is there anything else?"
"I…well, I know things are different aboard the Normandy, but…I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex, really. With all due respect, Shepard, should they have full access to the ship?" Ashley asked, seeming a little on edge and nervous.
"They're not Alliance, but they're allies, at least as far as Saren goes." Shepard stated, almost amused at Williams' omission of Tali in the list.
"This is the most advanced ship in the Alliance navy. I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines, sensors, weapons." Williams debated, holding her ground.
"Well, I'll agree that they probably shouldn't be poking around vital systems, especially if they can't seem to fix my glorious Mako…" Shepard began with a grin, before stopping as Williams cast a stony glare in her direction. "Seriously, though. I'm not taking offense, just wondering why you don't trust the Alliance's allies."
"I'm not sure I'd call the council races allies. We, humanity, have to learn to rely on ourselves." Williams stated passionately. Shepard rubbed her face in disbelief.
"Williams, we can stand up for ourselves without standing alone…" Shepard began, before the chief cut her off.
"Look, I don't think we should turn down allies, it's just that we shouldn't bet everything on them staying allies. As noble as the council members seem now, if their backs are against the wall, they'll abandon us." Williams reasoned. "If you're fighting a bear, and the only way for you to survive is to sic your dog on it and run, you'll do it. As much as you love your dog, it isn't human."
"Williams, if I ever come across a bear, I'll be sure to call you up for pointers. But…I don't know. People tend to look out for their own, but I don't think it's universal like that. It happens, sure, especially with politicians, but regular people? Hard to say. I like to be an optimist on that regard. I like to think people can work together and not be dictated by species when push comes to shove." Shepard stated, a little confused and baffled over Williams' example. "I mean, if a turian and a quarian got married or whatever they call it, and the turian had the opportunity to save the quarian partner, or a random turian, I think they'd save their partner. Love's a lot more universal, I think, and I figure friendship and trust can be as well, instead of something like racism."
"It's not racism, not really. Members of their species will always be more important to them than humans are." Williams' words stumbled out as the marine grew increasingly flustered.
"Easy, Williams. Not saying you're racist. Just saying…these beliefs of yours seem pretty deeply held. What brought you to that conclusion?" Shepard said, her voice calmer and softer, hoping to ease the marine's worries.
"My family's defended the Alliance since it was founded. My father, grandfather, great-grandmother…they all picked up a rifle and swore the oath of service. I…guess we just tend to think of Earth's interests as our own." Williams explained, sheepishly.
"I suppose it doesn't help you've been away from aliens for pretty much forever. Can't really blame you for that combination of thought processes." Shepard said. "Where have you served, anyway? What kind of work? At least, before Eden Prime."
"Mostly groundside on colonies, as part of the service garrison forces. I…did get a rotation on a space station for training, though. Every marine a rifleman, every rifleman ZG certified." Williams stated quickly with poorly feigned pride, drawing Shepard's interest. That's weird…just one rotation?
"Williams, that doesn't sound right. Haven't really looked too close at your record, since Anderson was the one who officially brought you on, but I didn't notice anything bad on your record, and your technical scores are damn impressive. Any reason why you weren't with the fleet?" Shepard asked, curious as to why Williams would be serving in small, low-responsibility garrisons.
"Uh…just some bad luck, I guess." Williams stammered out nervously.
"You mentioned you have a family history in the Alliance…should count for something, considering all the bureaucracy. Anyone I'd know?" Shepard asked, feeling she was onto something, but not wanting to push the marine too hard.
"Can't say, Shepard. Just regular people, trying to carry on the tradition." Williams spoke, her left hand shaking slightly. "You…have family of your own? I mean, you told me a little about your sister, but your parents must be proud. N7 and humanity's first Spectre?"
Shepard shrugged, formulating a plan to maybe coax some trust out of the younger marine with the opportunity. "No parents. Decent chance my mom died giving birth to me. Grew up an orphan. Even if they're alive, I'm not sure I'd want to meet them. Maybe once upon a time, but they wouldn't mean anything to me now. Still kind of have my sister, and my chosen family, the crew."
"I…had no idea, Shepard. I'm sorry." Williams said, concern clearly audible in her voice.
"It's totally fine, but thanks. I just figured I'd let you know, because I have a bit of a different perspective on things than you probably do. Blood relation isn't something I have in my life, it's nothing that's special to me right now. Instead, I find good people to be part of my family, and that's who I find important. If it's a human, great, but it could be a turian, a quarian, a krogan…I didn't grow up with this magical admiration for humanity, Williams. I saw the people who claimed to care for humanity the most…and I saw them do terrible things. Unforgivable things." Shepard explained. "I figure, we're more than just human. It's just one part of me, and it's unfair to reduce people to that. We're these weird, intricate bundles of abilities and emotion and experiences, and I don't think any species in the galaxy is built all that different, in the end."
Shepard finished rambling and glanced over at a pensive looking Williams. "In the end, I can see why you'd feel iffy about other species, but this mission is complex and we need as much help as we can get. You're going to have to work with them, like it or not. I just ask that you try and get to know them, even one of them. You might find you've got more in common than you'd think."
"It won't be a problem, Shepard. You say 'jump', I say 'how high'? You tell me to kiss a turian, I'll ask which cheek." Williams noted playfully.
"Good to hear, although I don't think that second part would ever happen. Not sure they have cheeks…mandibles, sure…" Shepard said, pushing off from the lockers. "Anyway, are we good?"
"I just wanted to apologize for the scene in the comm room, Commander. It was unprofessional to break your order like that." Williams stated firmly.
Shepard shook her head and shrugged. "Look, what's done is done. It was never an order to begin with, it was just a personal request. Can't do anything about it now, just let everyone know that if I hear negative gossip about Doctor T'Soni regarding her link to her mother…well, it won't be a good time. Alright?"
"Aye aye, ma'am." Williams stated, putting her hands on her hips. '"Now, how about that help you promised, Commander?"
Shepard was relieved to have settled things out with Williams; she liked the young marine and was hoping to see her grow under her watch. She also didn't mind cleaning rifles for a while, as it helped distract her from the plethora of thoughts swirling through her head that she didn't want to entertain or engage. Unfortunately, midway through catching up, she'd been called to the comm room by Joker, stating someone was requesting to speak with her. Probably Tevos. I wonder if I should bring Liara in…no, I think I should question her a bit alone. Figure out where to go from here.
She moved into the empty circular room and made her way to the console, activating her end of the connection.
"This is Commander Shepard of the SSV Normandy." Shepard stated into the comms, waiting impatiently for a response. When it came, the voice caught her off guard; she didn't recognize it at all.
"Commander, this is Rear Admiral Kahoku, Systems Alliance. I was recently made aware that your ship was traveling through Artemis Tau. Is that still the case?" the admiral asked quickly. Shepard, still a bit surprised by the fact it wasn't Tevos on the line, could barely register a coherent answer.
"Oh…yes sir. We're a few hours out from the relay. I'll be honest, I was planning on heading back to the Citadel, our ship's in need of repairs, but if you have something quick along the way, I'd be glad to help." She stated, fumbling over her thoughts, trying her best to be formal. Never was good at speaking to the higher-ups.
"I would appreciate that, Commander. I understand you're on a mission of utmost importance as-is, so I wouldn't send you on anything I felt you couldn't handle." The admiral started, sounding thankful. "I've been blocked off by red tape for the last few months, and I was hoping you could bypass some of that for me. A recon group of mine went into the Sparta system in search of a missing operative, Armistan Banes. They kept communications with me until they found something near Edolus, where they went silent. Neither the Alliance nor the Council will agree to send someone to check on them."
Shepard stroked her chin, curious as to why this was so important. "How long have they been missing?"
"Banes for three weeks. My recon group for just over one. Both in the same system. Something's out there, and I need to know what. I'm getting stonewalled on this end, Commander. I could really use your help." Kahoku's request still seemed a little off, but Shepard could hear the desperation in his voice. A rear admiral desperate for my help? Something must be pretty high up the ladder to keep him at bay…
"I'll accept this mission temporarily, Rear Admiral. However, if my engineers and navigator can't clear the ship for that amount of travel, I'll have to get back to you and delay it." Shepard responded. "But this does sound a little serious, and there's nothing I like more than helping cut through red tape."
"I appreciate this, Commander. You're doing the right thing." Kahoku stated, relieved. "Good luck."
"Let's hope I don't need it." Shepard replied, chuckling, before cutting the transmission. She leaned up against the control panel and sighed. Really haven't had much downtime since Therum, but if it's a quick in and out, I think we'll be fine. She mused, feeling her still tender midsection.
"So should I change course now, or later, Commander?" she heard Joker ask, startling her. And I should warn him about listening in on conversations…
"Talk to Pressly about the logistics of it, and let me know your decision. I'm sure you'll know where to find me." She snarked back, grinning at the pilot's gall.
The Mako barreled down the barren wastelands of Edolus, jumping and jolting from each minor ridge Shepard drove over. She was sure others might have considered some more moderate ridges, or even major ridges, but they were less adventurous types. It had taken a half day to get to the planet, where they were able to track a faint, encrypted signal emanating from the surface. None of the comm specialists could tell if it was a distress call, so it certainly hadn't used Alliance frequencies. That was the red flag that had Joker drop them off a few miles from the site, in case it was something more sinister.
As the Mako gracefully flew through the air across a large pit, she heard Tali's warbled cries of panic above Wrex's amused chuckling. Might have to tone this down a bit for poor Tali. I can't imagine getting sick inside her helmet is a pleasant thing…
She slowed down at they reached the top of another ridge, which looked over a large, flat crater of sorts. An M29 Grizzly was visible far off in the distance, but aside from that it looked like your regular everyday badlands. She brought the Mako gently down the cliff-side, rolling it cautiously toward the Grizzly, staying along the periphery of the crater in order to allow a better escape route in case of ambush.
They pulled away from the crater wall for a few hundred metres and stopped a few feet from the ravaged looking Grizzly. Shepard hopped out of the vehicle and slowly made her way over with a scanner in hand. It only took her a few steps to notice something wrong about the situation. She turned and informed the krogan-quarian duo to keep their eyes peeled.
"This Grizzly was decimated." Shepard began, feeling a slight rumble as she spoke. "Look at the damage on the sides of it. Someone was using chemical warfare. Polonium rounds are already illegal, I'd guess this stuff is salarian-grade. But…what would the STG want here?"
Wrex shrugged, grimacing as she mentioned the salarians. "I'll check the tank for bodies."
She and Tali moved slowly and silently around the Grizzly, getting closer to the source of the signal. Wrex, for his part, was dead silent as he worked his way around the nearby tank. Maybe he's having a good day, not feeling so grumpy… she thought, feeling another tremor beneath her, slightly stronger this time. This place sure has a lot of mini earthquakes...
The duo stopped over a small patch of recently disturbed ground and glanced at each other. Shepard nodded and the two knelt, digging away at the broken dirt and stone, hands clawing the debris away until Shepard felt something flat and hard against her hand.
"Shepard, we need to get out of here." Wrex announced hastily, as another tremor shook the ground. "We need to go now!"
Shepard ignored him for a moment, pulling a heavy steel transponder from the hole she and Tali had dug. "Well, we found the signal's origin. Any bodies Wrex?"
"Just some bones, Shepard, but we need to leave, NOW!" Wrex stated firmly, turning and quickly marching toward the Mako. He was shaken off balance by the next tremor, which sent Shepard and Tali stumbling to their hands and knees.
"What the fuck is happening?" Shepard yelled, grabbing Wrex's attention as the krogan began running.
Wrex yelled out an answer, but it was inaudible against the explosion a few meters to the side of them, against the shrill screams of the largest worm Shepard had ever laid eyes on. Christ…
Liara T'Soni sat at the mess hall's table, attempting to ignore the two Normandy staff at the opposite end who had been giving her looks of suspicion and disdain for the past twenty minutes. Her initial foray into the mess had been a fair bit worse, with the crew keeping away from her like the plague, and muttering disparaging remarks at her in passing. She had wanted to ask them why they had treated her in such a way, but it became clear to her as time had passed. They don't trust me because of mother, because they think I am a spy. In part, I can understand, but…this is why I stayed away from others to begin with.
She had wanted to eat her meal in the med-bay instead, but Doctor Chakwas had heard that the ground team had been wounded on Edolus, and was busy preparing the room for them. Liara couldn't help but wish that the commander was safe and healthy. Losing such an asset as the beacon's vision would be a tremendous loss to the galaxy alone, and she was certain that it would further dampen the spirits of the Normandy's crew were Shepard injured in battle.
An announcement came over the comms, stating Shepard had come on deck, relieving an XO Pressly of command. Liara wasn't certain what an XO was, but she assumed it was important. She sat in silence along with the apprehensive looking crew members as the gears of the elevator whirred behind them.
The doors slid open and the fierce stomps of the blood-red krogan erupted through the mess hall as the huge specimen rushed to the med-bay, squeezing through the crack in the doors as soon as it was wide enough. Liara could barely catch a glimpse of the krogan, carrying what looked to be the quarian from Therum on his shoulder. Her focus was more on a depleted looking Shepard who lagged behind, lurching along to the med-bay with help from the other human woman and a turian. Liara got up from her seat, wondering what she should do. She is badly wounded, should I help? No, Liara, you're a doctor, but you're not a medical doctor…still, Shiala did teach me first aid and I feel I could be of use…but what if Doctor Chakwas does not want me there? Her thoughts warred in her head as she watched the three trudge past her, Shepard eventually shaking the two of them off near the doors and marching in alone. I should help…
Liara breezed past the two worried looking soldiers and into the med-bay, which had quickly spiraled into chaos. One medical assistant was practically prying Shepard away from the badly injured quarian, while Chakwas and the other assistant tended to the quarian's wounds as best as they could; Chakwas yelling ferociously at Shepard's stubbornness and unwillingness to be brought to a medical bed so she herself could be treated.
Liara approached slowly, trying to see if there was something she could do to help without intruding on the madness before her. Shepard had cut open the quarian's suit all up the left leg, peeling off the acid-marred panels that had nearly dissolved entirely. The assistant who had once pulled at Shepard spun around and began treating the newly open areas for the acid burns; Shepard busy scanning the quarian's lower body for more burns, her trembling hands cutting away the material there as well. Liara couldn't help but watch as blood pooled by the commander's feet, dripping down from obvious wounds across her midsection and upper thighs. As soon as Shepard paused, unable to find new areas, Liara pounced forward and took hold of the commander, finding it was as good a time as ever to drag the stubborn woman away from her squadmate.
Shepard resisted momentarily, but her exhaustion was evident, and she quickly gave in once the other medical assistant joined in, helping set the commander onto the adjacent bed. The woman's face never left the quarian, giving Liara and the assistant a distraction enough to begin to remove the soldier's acid-marred armor.
Chakwas' voice rang out through the bay, calling the assistant back to the quarian, leaving her alone with the disheveled looking commander. She leaned over and began removing the woman's gauntlets and gloves, revealing blistered, bruised hands and wrists. Her hands are much finer than I would have thought…She winced at the sight and moved to the nearby table, grabbing a scalpel. As she returned the commander's gaze was locked on her.
"You're not a medical doctor, T'soni. What are you doing?" Shepard mumbled, likely drunk from painkillers coursing through her body.
"I am trying to help, now lay still." Liara noted, moving to Shepard's bedside.
"Why are you helping?" she asked simply, closing her eyes. Her breaths were short and labored, and she hoped there wasn't any internal damage to the woman.
"It is the least I can do, after you saved my life. I am trained in first aid, I can help until Chakwas finishes treating the quarian." Liara explained calmly, trying to pull the mostly burnt away chest plate from Shepard's torso. Shepard merely shook her head, looking disappointed or annoyed. Finally, with a loud pop, it dislodged, revealing a monstrous looking gash across her abdomen.
Liara couldn't help but gasp at the amount of blood leaking from the wound.
"Don't worry…doc. Not as bad as what Tali's going through." Shepard said quietly, turning back to focus on the quarian and the buzzing doctors surrounding her. Liara cut small incisions into Shepard's bodysuit around the wound, occasionally nicking the woman, but it didn't seem to phase her. Eventually, she pulled away the square of wet, destroyed material and got a better look at the wound. Goddess, was she mauled by a Klauwpa beast? This is atrocious! Liara meticulously packed the wound with what medigel she could find, slowing the bleeding enough for her to clean the area around the wound. After finishing dealing with that wound and the one on her upper left thigh, she knew that Shepard's health had mostly been dealt with temporarily. Activity to her side had died down slightly, movements less rushed, orders less frantic.
"Commander, you…I'll need to remove your bodysuit in order to treat the rest of your wounds." Liara stammered, feeling foolish for almost asking the commander to remove the clothing herself. She's in no condition… Oh, why am I fumbling over my words…
"No fucking way." Shepard said firmly and immediately, blood rushing to her face for some unknown reason. Liara felt puzzled by the woman's choice of words, wondering what sexual activity had to do with anything in this scenario. Humans are strange…but aren't they supposed to be modest about their sexuality? Perhaps that is why her face is red? This is just confusing. Focus on the injuries and the stubborn woman in front of you, Liara…
"I promise I will be very careful. I have had to treat my own minor wounds before, I know what I'm doing." Liara insisted, taking a light hold of the Commander's top before the injured woman swatted her hand away.
"No. I'm fine, Christ!" Shepard cursed, her focus still mostly off to the side, where Chakwas was tending to the young quarian.
"Commander, please! You are wounded, you need treatment!" Liara stated, confused and annoyed at the woman's lack of cooperation. It had been a long time since she had last yelled at anyone, and she couldn't help but feel a little shameful, knowing she was being impolite. I just want her to heal! "This is no time to be stubborn!"
"I don't care!" Shepard yelled, turning her fiery gaze back to Liara. "You're not taking this off, period! Now get the hell out of here!"
"Commander, I…" Liara began, feeling her frustration rise before she felt a hand on her shoulder.
"It's fine, Liara. You have done a good job with the Commander, but you can leave now. I'll handle this one." Chakwas stated softly, taking the scalpel from her hand. Liara nodded quickly and rushed out of the med-bay, awash with frustration. How can she be so….Goddess! Even mother would accept treatment, if necessary. Why is this woman so…insufferable?! I was only trying to help…
Shepard winced as Chakwas began work on the last of her open wounds. She was pleased to know Tali would recover, that an assistant was prepping one of the beds as a potential clean area, erecting one of the domes supplied with the Normandy so that the quarian could be moved there once everyone had been cleared, and the medbay decontaminated. She was pleased to know her wounds weren't life-threatening, although she had lost enough blood to likely feel weak for a day. She wished more than anything that she hadn't taken that mission from Kahoku. I'll file a scathing mission report later on, I guess. Best I can do at this point. Hopefully the comm specialists can figure something out about that transponder we recovered.
"Shepard…" Chakwas began, as she finished the last stitch. "The next time you barge into my med-bay and put yourself and others at risk, I will relieve you of command. Is that clear?"
"Chakwas, I…" Shepard started, feeling a little guilty over her behavior earlier. I was scared I sent Tali to her death down there. Bringing her along…Christ…I was such an idiot! Why the hell was that transponder down there in the first place?
"I know you were concerned for her health, but I assure you, my assistants and I can handle it without your intrusions. I'm just happy Liara got you away as soon as she did." Chakwas interrupted, her voice cold and stern.
Shepard grunted and turned to look at the unconscious quarian one bed over. "She would have been better off helping Tali than me. I was fine."
"You were bleeding like a stuffed pig, Commander, you were certainly not fine. I would have had a more difficult time of fixing you up had she not performed that initial first aid on you." Chakwas stated, checking over her work. "I saw no reason for you to be so agitated toward her. She was helping you."
Shepard mulled over her thoughts on why she was mad at the asari. Honestly, I really shouldn't have been. Could have just been heat of the moment, me worried about Tali…but I knew she was in good hands, and if something could be done, Chakwas would do it. Maybe it's not that. Could be my…issue with asari, and worrying about her seeing my body. Or it could be my damn scarring issue peeking its head up again, but I doubt it. Her talk yesterday bugged me, but I'm not sure…
"I was probably just worried about Tali. I'll try to apologize later, I guess." Shepard said dismissively, hoping the Doctor would change the subject.
"Something tells me you're not being truthful, Shepard. Something's been bugging you lately, since we left the Citadel." The doctor stated, moving over to Shepard's bedside and taking a seat on a nearby chair.
"The vision from the beacon, maybe?" Shepard answered sarcastically, earning a glare from Chakwas. "Look, I've been getting no sleep. Hard not to be grumpy."
"You've been kind and calm to me, and before the mission you were that way with practically the whole crew." Chakwas said, looking skeptical. "I doubt it's that. I've never heard you get angry at someone thus far in our short adventure, Shepard. Not until today, so is there something about the doctor that troubles you?"
Shepard closed her eyes and sighed, knowing she wouldn't escape the topic if she wanted to leave the med-bay any time soon. Well, I don't feel like saying 'Oh Chakwas, she makes my body get all warm and fuzzy and drenched', and I don't think anyone needs to know that. But I guess it's also a little more than that…
"I guess…I guess she frustrates me. Opened up an old wound on me." Shepard stated quietly. "Ever feel déjà vu, Chakwas?"
"What does she remind you of?" the doctor asked patiently.
"When I was a kid, I propped the idea of family on a pedestal. To me, it was the pinnacle of life, something to strive for, something to cherish. I used to think it was perfect even if I didn't have one. Maybe especially because of that." She noted, recalling her youthful naiveté. "But I met this woman and her niece later on and…they kind of broke that illusion. And I broke them apart in the end."
"No family is perfect, Shepard. You can't fault yourself for that." Chakwas reasoned, but Shepard waved her off.
"No, I know that, but…I guess somewhere deep inside, I still romanticized it. Maybe in other species, or culture, it could be held up as that standard. But…the asari are so tight knit, and from what I gathered from Tevos, Liara and her mother's family was close…it gave me a little hope that maybe they had what I'd always hoped there could be. That came crashing down last night when Liara told me her mother had basically disowned her. It…it's frustrating. It makes me feel ill, and I know I'm not being fair, but…just seeing her reminds me of that. Even if I feel bad for her, I just get a little angry." Shepard rambled, each word slow and thought out.
Chakwas took a few moments in silence to formulate an answer that Shepard was certain she wouldn't want to hear. "Shepard, we all have dreams and ideals, but we cannot let them harm others."
"I know, doc." Shepard said, closing her eyes and trying to find a more comfortable angle for her head to rest on the pillow. "I'll try to get over this. It's not her fault. It's just hard, you know?"
"I understand, Commander. Now get some rest." Chakwas stated, before leaving the med-bay.
I spend way too much time here, and not enough in the Mako…hopefully Garrus can fix her up. Maybe…maybe when we get back to the Citadel, I'll try and pull Liara aside and apologize…or maybe that will just cause more problems, seeing as how I already feel like an idiot around asari as is. Might make a fool of myself…
Ugh. Why does this all have to be so confusing?
A/N: Another chapter completed! Poor Tali, she got seriously roughed up by that Thresher Maw. :( At least Chakwas was able to help her out, despite Shepard's stubborn interference. Methinks that perhaps Shepard's being stubborn a bit too much in this chapter, all in all :P
Anywho, decided to release this early since I squeezed in some writing time Sunday morning to finish another chapter in advance, finishing my November lineup. Didn't honestly think I was capable, but I have one chapter per week lined up from now until the end of the month(here's hoping I can abstain from releasing them early, and blowing this buffer…I don't want to go weeks without new material, after all). Not too shabby. That takes a huge burden off my chest, considering I doubt I'll be able to write much in the next 2 weeks, if at all. Once Wednesday passes, I'm out of the eye of the storm and back into the thick of things, and even then, I have an assignment due Wednesday, so…yeah. Busy. But I'm trying!
Anywho, thank you all for reading, thanks go out to everyone who added my story to any sort of list (which is really humbling), and I want to thank everyone who takes the time and effort to review :) You're all fantastic!
Also, because I really like these fics, and they don't really get much attention, I'm going to promote a few, for any readers with spare time on their hands. :)
Lilivati's "Mass Effect: Beginnings" is, like Feathers, a re-telling of the ME arc, but they're a much better writer than I am. Just excellent, it's not all that long so far, and there's some great character development. Great writing style.
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Octoberskys "When Fates Collide" is one of the better AU stories I've read here. Really interesting concept, and a pretty wonderful delivery. Really entertaining read, lots of interesting twists, and it's a Liara/ladyship fic :)
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And finally, Drussius' "Mass Effect: Event Horizon" is a huge AU, non-Shep fic involving a cast of OCs and Zaeed of all people. Was initially skeptical, but grew to love the characters about as much as the mass Effect cast, so it says something about his character development. I urge you to give his story a bit of love, I think that anyone who enjoys nuanced character development will really take to this.
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Anywho, just wanted to give a shout out to those fics, because they have given me joy. As an avid reader, I like passing on names of stories I enjoy, especially if they're long and relatively under-appreciated (because I have other stories I'd also like to promote, but the list would be foreverlong) :)
So yeah, have a good week everyone!