Hey! this was quicker than expected. Rather surprised myself to be honest.
Thanks for all the reviews, favourites and alerts. Proper lush y'all!
Not mine. Enjoy though. :)
Severus knocked on Miss Granger's door, waiting only a few seconds before he walked in, hoping that Miss Granger was in the room, even if she started complaining about her lack of privacy.
He smiled as he realised she was asleep on her bed, cuddled up in her duvet. She mumbled in her sleep because of his disturbance before she nuzzled into her pillow, going back into the realm of dreams. In her hand she gripped a small bird teddy, worn from age and love. Severus quirked a small smile and nodded his head, whispering, "nice to see you again Twinkle Blue."
She looked so young as she slept, clutching a small soft toy and lay in a position which only a child could find comfortable. If he lay like that going to sleep, his neck wouldn't be right for a week.
It was so easy to see her as an adult as she walked around the school with confidence, helping her friends defeat the Dark lord. He watched nervously through the years as she developed into a beautiful young woman, worrying himself about future boyfriends and heartaches.
It was heart rendering to see her so childlike. He knew he would do anything to protect her. He didn't have much interaction with her as she grew up but he had been given weekly updates about her from Rob and Dawn.
Even through his weekly missives and photos, he still missed so much because of his double life with the Dark lord. He was just glad that Rob had been a good father to her, not treated her differently because she wasn't his blood. He knew Rob wasn't like that. It was unlikely Rob would ever have children of his own, so he was happy to treat Hermione like the princess she deserved to be.
It had broken his heart when he had to stop seeing Hermione, to stop seeing his little girl because Albus had declared it to unsafe. He knew he had been manipulated by the old man by his greatest weakness. He had spoken to him as though a child all those years ago, shaking his head sadly that the future was troubled, that the Dark Lord would come back and if had come to the Dark Lord's attention that he had a muggleborn godchild who he loved, the girl could be used against him. She would be unsafe if he stayed in contact with her. He needed his spy to have a clear head.
He realised as time went by, it wasn't the danger of Hermione that had caused Albus to force Severus to cut her off, the headmaster had simply wanted the potion master's loyalty all to himself. Albus didn't want Severus to be worrying over a young girl when he was meant to be protecting the Boy-who-Lived.
He was just glad that the Headmaster didn't know of Hermione's Paternity. The old fool would have an even greater hold over him.
Even though his relationship with Dawn had been brief, he was so happy with the new life that had been created. He had been so excited to have a little girl to spoil and treat properly, differently to how he had grown up. But it had all ended as a toddler. It had all ended when she had come to school. He had treated so harshly, so cruelly, he knew he had turned into his father.
What kind of father could treat his child as he had treated Hermione over the years?
He paused in his self pitying internal monologue as he saw beginning to rouse from her sleep.
"Miss Granger?" He asked quietly, looking around the room as his eyes adjusted to the poor light of the room.
"Russ?" A quiet child like voice said from the bed, the voice slurred as she stirred from sleep. She blinked a few times before a small smile slid on to her lips and she whispered, "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas Miss Granger." He said allowing one side of his lips to tilt upwards, "I trust you've had a pleasant day?"
She nodded, smiling more broadly as she looked upon him. She was obviously happy he had joined her on Christmas, this little bit of happiness caused his heart to ache slightly. He had wanted to spend all day with her but his double life had caused him to put her second.
"Its been nice." She said with a half smile, her eyes dulling slightly of its sparkle. Severus didn't know what to make of that.
"I brought you a present?" Severus said, his tone uncertain as his hand rest upon her gifts in his pocket. He hated how hesitant he sounded, not at all like his normal confident self but he wanted to get this right.
"Oh!" Hermione said, her smile broaden, a look of childish glee appearing on her face once more. "I will get yours! Hold on!" She said jumping off the bed with energy he hadn't expected and rushed to her trunk. As she routed to find the present she called out to him, "You will have to unshrink it as it was too big to transport. Aaaha!" She said with triumph become thrusting a small gift into his hand. "Go on! Open it!" She said with a broad grin, moving up and downwards on her feet in excitement.
He looked at the small gift, opening it with care before looking at a small blue square. Frowning in confusion, he waved his wave over it and gasped as it came to its proper size.
He had never seen anything like it before in his life. It was a wizarding photo or maybe painting of what he guessed was the Great Barrier Reef. It truly was a beautiful picture, he looked to the top of the painting, patches of blue sky visible as ocean waves lulled. A gentle sunlight shone through the water, causing the water to appear slightly hazy.
The picture filled with more life as the fish, who had been previously been scared away swam back into the picture, swimming in and out of the Coral that resided there.
He looked up from the picture and looked up to the grinning Hermione. "I thought that your room's could do with a bit of colour. I can only imagine it's rather dank down there."
Severus briefly glared at Hermione before his expression softened, "thank you Feathers. Its truly beautiful. Your gift is not as beautiful as yours I'm afraid." He said bringing out her gifts and placed it in her hands.
He chuckled as she excitedly ripped off the wrapping paper off her gifts, unable to hide her childish excitement at opening her Christmas presents. She looked down happily at her box of maltesers, a terry's chocolate orange and a new green fleece she had received from him. "I love them all. " She said with a grin, pulling on her fleece which thankfully fitted perfectly. "The chocolates because of mum?"
Severus nodded, a small smile appearing, "Apparently it just isn't Christmas without those two chocolates filling your stocking. Staple gift." He said rolling his eyes.
It was well known that Dawn Granger brought all those in her circle a Terry's chocolate orange and Maltesers. She often laughed that those two gifts were everyone's 'go to' gift in times of need, the one gift everyone hated but loved to receive so she gave them to everyone as a side gift.
"Thank you."She said in a whisper.
She finally looked up to Severus after a few moments and frowned, "What have you been up to today then?" Her enquiry sounded innocent enough but he could hear a dark undertone.
"I spent the morning at Hogwarts, the Headmaster required me to stay until after Christmas lunch." He briefly paused, hesitating before continuing, "I spent the rest of the day with the Malfoys."
He closed his eyes before a brief moment as he saw her flinch, hurt flashing across her face before disappearing to her previous blank state. "Oh." She whispered, "Did you have fun?"
He looked at her, studying her face, looking for a sign of an emotional outburst. He might not have much experience with women but he knew he should always tread carefully when they use that tone of voice.
"It was...Tolerable." He said with no expression.
There were several moments of silence. Neither looking at one another as they waited for the other to speak. Soon the silence became more uncomfortable. Severus internally cringed as he waited for her reaction.
"I'm glad." She said tartly, her face tight as she tried to rein in her temper and her upset. "I can imagine it would be nice to spend some time with your family." She said, spitting out the last word in disgust. "I would like to go to bed Professor. I will see you at school in the new year."
"Hermione." Severus said with a groan, "You know it isn't like that."
"Isn't it?" She said in a false sweetly tone, her eyebrow rising. "I can't imagine how I would know that. You spent Christmas with him instead of me. You came visit me at the end of the day, I even imagine you wouldn't have come now if their get together hadn't ended. I have had no one today! They have all spent it with their own families, and I didn't have anyone. No one even noticed I was gone. I spent all day reading by myself and doing my homework. You pretend to care but when I needed you...You weren't here." Her tone of voice had changed as she continued on her rant, near the end she was nearly shouting in annoyance, her eyes flashing in pain.
Severus closed his eyes as her accusations washed over him, bringing a hand to cover his heart. He truly was turning out to be like his father. He had caused her pain, had left her alone on her first Christmas without her parents. He slowly opened his eyes and croaked, "I'm sorry Hermione. I really am sorry."
Hermione looked at him, reproach in her eyes unwilling to forgive at the moment. That look cut him straight into his heart. It reminded him so much like the looks her had given his own father, he just couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't lie to her, he would tell her the entire truth and even stop spying, just to stop that look in her eye.
"I am really sorry!" He said, falling to his knees in front of her, his head bowed. "I don't want to be my father, I'm not my father." He murmured, not noticing Hermione's shocked and worried expression. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be two people. I am always putting you second. Second behind Dumbledore, second behind the Order, second behind the Dark lord and Second behind Draco. I keep being told I have to for the war effort but I can't do this anymore if it keeps hurting you. I was forced to give you up when you were young Hermione. I can't do that again, you're my little girl. I can't. Tell me what to do?" He said finally looking up into her eyes.
Hermione looked down at him, her mouth opening and closing in shock. Her eyes had cleared of distrust, only with confusion. "You would give them all up for me? Why?"
Severus looked at her, his eyes wide with confusion. "Because you're my little girl?" His eyes puzzlement, frowning as she looked down on him, waiting for him to make himself clearer. "I don't know if you would want to know."
Hermione bent down, grabbing his arms and pulled him up to standing. "Just tell me the truth Severus. Its Christmas after all...you're little...breakdown...came out of nowhere. Just tell me."
"I can't..." He whispered, shaking his head. He couldn't tell her, he couldn't lose her to the lies. He knew that his outburst was out of nowhere but he was so tired of the lying. "I don't know if you could take the truth. I can't lose you when your back in my life once more."
Hermione looked at him in confusion, shaking her head. "it can't be that bad." She said, rolling her eyes. Men could be so dramatic. "I promise I won't abandon you."
He looked at her, studying her. It was though he was taking her in for one last time. She would want nothing to do with her after this. There were simply too many lies in his life now. He needed her to know. Her last few words just crumbled any resistance, he couldn't fight it anymore.
He whispered, "You're my biological daughter."
BOOM, now that is a cliffie.
To tell you the truth, I don't know where that came from. It seemed like the right time for Severus to have a bit of a breakdown and blurt out her Paternity. I don't know if it seemed out of character, but look how he reacted when he lost Lily. I thought he might have a similar reaction when he thought about losing his daughter. Good or bad? Reviews please?