"Could you hand me the bucket?" I mumbled with a hoarse voice as I reached for it. Third day I had been sick now. Jacob and I both suspected that I was pregnant and it was only morning sickness but we wouldn't dare to get our hopes up to much.

"Don't move," Jacob almost sounded in panic and he threw himself to it and held it up to me. "..don't waste energy."

"It's fine. It's not killing me," I mumbled and sat up with the bucket infront of me in bed. "..maybe we should just keep trying."

"Nessie," he whispered and leaned our foreheads together. "I can't. Let's wait and see how this turns out first."

"It's worth a try, Jacob." I pleaded.

"We have to use protection next time. I'm sorry but I can't keep hurting you."

I really don't understand him. One second he wants a child and the next he pretty much refuses to even try?

"But I want to keep trying," I insisted and pulled him closer to me.

"There is nothing I want more than to give you everything you want and to keep you happy but I can't keep making you hurt this bad," he said with pain. "..you just caught me of guard last time. Not that I didn't enjoy it but I will try to remember to keep protection in the car." he tried to push out a smile to hide his pain.

"Babe, its okay," I whispered and pulled him in for a hug. "We have the wedding coming up, its not all bad." I smiled and placed one hand on his cheek as he smiled.

"You are right, and maybe..." he began but I threw my head down in the bucket and hurled. He kept rubbing my back as I pretty much cleared my stomach from everything I had eaten.

"Maybe not all good but.." I murmured and we laughed. When I pulled in for a kiss he flinched back. "..whats wrong?"

"I'm sorry but do you at least have some gum?" he chuckled and I laughed. "..I promise I would kiss you if you just haden't.." he pointed to the bucket and I laid down in bed.

"Take it away!" I laughed and he walked out of the room.

It's a strange feeling for me to be sick. In my mind my hope was still living since I haven't bleed yet. Being sick dosen't mean a miscariage. Maybe even morning sickness. Who knows? I have been sick for a couple of days now. And if I was pregnant it would begin right away. The morning sickness that is. My body works a lot faster than a humans.

Maybe there is hope, was the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep again. My dream was a wonderful one. It was me and Jacob standing in front of a mirror and my stomach... it was round. We both happily smiled at the reflection as he rubbed my tummy. But it all turned bad when a sharp pain hit right where my body was rounded. A wet feeling dripped down my leg and before I could see my reflection I woke up.

"AH!" I hissed and threw my hand around my stomach. Everything felt warm, sweaty and dizzy as I tried to move. When I turned my head to look for Jacob he wasn't in bed.

"Jacob!" I tried to scream but it only came out in a hoarse whisper. A feeling of something similar to period cramps times a thousand burned through me and I finally snapped out of the dizzy feeling and regained control over my body. I reached down and felt a warm and wet liquid. When I looked at my hand it was covered in blood. But that wasn't all.. When I threw the covers of my legs there was a puddle of blood around my legs. As if that wasn't enough I saw something... the baby.

"No," I cried and held my arm infront of my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut. "..no, no, no please." I kept crying and tried to move away. The blood followed with my movements and spread over the bed. I finally got out of bed and grabbed the phone. With shaky hands I dialed the number and waited for someone.

"Renesmee?" I heard Esmee say and she sounded worried.

"Please, come over.." I cried and gasped for air.

"I'll be right there," she said and hung up. I knew she was the only one who would understand enough.

As I watched the blood in the bed I noticed that I had now spread it over the phone and some foot prints on the floor. It was too much.. but I couldn't leave. Instead I crumbled down on the floor and cried silently as I waited for my grandparents. They came quicker than I thought they would and fortunatley alone.

"Renesmee?" I heard Carlisle say from downstairs. He must have smelt the blood.

"Here," I whispered and they were right by my side. Esmee looked at me and then the bed.

"Come here sweetie," she murmured and helped me up from the floor.

"No, no. The baby," I cried and pointed to the bed.

"Carlisle will take care of everything. You just worry about yourself," she whispered and lead me into the bathroom. "..let's get you clean." She helped me get out of the clothes and I got a good look of my body. I gasped as I saw the blood running down my legs. My baby. I felt so horrible. Why was I doing this to myself.. and Jacob. I have to give up my dream of the two golden skinned boys with Jacob's smile and my hair. No mini me. I couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"Let's get in the shower," Esme's soothing voice snapped me out of my day dreaming and she lead me into the shower/bathtub. I was completely capable of washing myself, I told myself over and over again. That was far from the truth right now. I needed help, I needed family.. and who better than nana. She knew the pain of losing a child.

Why does that little puzzle piece, a little perfect mix of me and Jacob, matter so much? We would have eternity together. Just the two of us. We haven't ever had that little bundle of joy in our arms. Maybe it wouldn't even be for us? I would have a man who loves me more than anything else forever. The thoughts kept spinning in my head for I don't even know how long.. Eventually Esme helped me out and I dried myself of. I reluctantly got out of the bathroom but thankfully nothing in the bedroom reminded me of what happened. All the evidence was gone.

"Let's get you in bed," Esme smiled and I nodded. How they could even have changed everything so quickly I don't know.. I didn't care. The bed felt warm and safe.

"Are you alright?" Esme whispered and stroked my forehead.

"Mhmm," I mumbled. Then it just slipped out. "..How was your son?"

She didn't move a muscle. "I don't remember dear."

"I'm sorry," I said shamefully and hid my face.

"Don't be, its natural to wonder. I do myself. But the human memories have faded almost completely now."

"Still. It's hard and I'm sorry," I mumbled and she let out a sweet smile.

"You have nothing to be sorry for but thank you anyway. So proud of you, Renesmee. You know that right?" she leaned down and kissed my forehead. I smiled and just as I was about to say 'I love you' a loud thud came from downstairs.

"Rensmee?" Jacob yelled.

"Call me if you need anything," she whispered and the next second she was gone. Jacob came running into the room and I saw him get a whiff of the blood that still lingered in the air.

"What happened?" he asked and ran up to me. "Are you okay?"

I wanted to break down.

"It's fine," I insisted and pushed out a smile. With my hand placed on his cheek I pulled him closer and looked into his eyes. The next words would be hard but I had to. "..I lost the baby."

He started to lightly tremble and hold back tears. Neither one of us had ever said that we suspected that I was pregnant. We didn't need to.

"Are you okay?" he whispered and tears fell down. I wiped his tears away and inteded to nod but it turned into me shaking my head 'No'. He burst out in tears and I wrapped his head in my arms and pulled him in for a hug.

I don't know if it was just because I finally admitted that I wasn't okay that this time it went by easier. Jacob and I still didn't do anything intimate with or without protection but after a few days it started to feel better. It is what it is, I told myself over and over again. Alice was over at the house for some much needed wedding talk.

"So the wedding is fast approaching," she stated and put down a basket of all sort of goodies. "..are you guys ready?"

"I'm pretty ready," Jacob said with a mouth full of food and I laughed. "..are you?"

"Kinda," I said and he stroked my leg.

"Well the invitations are ready and being sent out today so you better be!" she smiled and handed them over to us. They were a beautiful almost white with a hint of golden tone behind it. The text was in a beautiful almost metallic black color and our names looked beautiful next to each other.

"I love them!" I smiled and looked at Jacob's reaction.

"Well then I love them!" he chuckled and actually seemed happy with them.

"Then I will send them out right away," she said and happily took the invitations back. "See you later," she waved and ran out.

"That was a quick meeting," Jacob said surprised and I laughed.

"Meeting? Is our wedding planning a meeting?"

"I don't really enjoy looking at wedding dresses," he said defensivly with a smile and I rolled my eyes.

"Well I'm going to school," I kissed him and grabbed my bag.

"I can drive you," he smiled and stood up with me.

"I can walk, its fine."

"But I like to drop you of, so people know you are my woman." he smiled and kissed me.

"So possesive," I smirked and then we were of to school. When we parked I burst out in laughter as he got out of the car with me.

"What?" he smiled and I walked over to him.

"You are getting out of the car even? So possesive," I said again and hugged him.

"Don't you like it?" he grinned and kissed me.

"It's very sexy," I giggled and kissed him one last time. "..now I have to go to class."

"Alright," he pouted and kissed my forehead. "..see you later."

He got in the car and drove of as everyone once again watched him. Lynn threw her arms around me (since it had pretty much become our morning tradition) and hugged me.

"Hello sexy, are you here often?" she murmured in my ear and I laughed as she let go.

"Only for you," I grinned and we walked inside. "How are you?"

"Good, everything seems to be okay with you two again," she looked at my wedding ring.

"Yeah, it is." I smiled to her and she looked oh so proud!

"I can do magical things with my mouth!"

"What?" I laughed and she shook her head.

"I can break the tension I mean! Don't let your dirty mind ruin my time in the lime light!"

"I won't!" I assured her. "..now how are you and Kyle?"

"We are good. But I think he has a crush on Carmen. I mean look at him!" she sighed and pointed over to Carmen bending over Kyle's table in class.

"Wow," I sighed and watched Kyle being almost mesmerized by Carmen's boobs. "..he is lost."

"Yeah, and you know how she is." Lynn hissed and we sat down.

Carmen had long platinum blonde hair and slightly tanned skin. Blue eyes, (fake I might add! For some reason no humans noticed her contacts) and big pouty lips. The only thing faker than her personality was her breasts. Well I can only assume that they are because even though she is a horrible human I would feed of her if I could.. but the one place that blood pumped strongest around seemed so unappatizing to me. She seemed plastic in that area. If I took a bite all that would pour out would be silicone.. I bet! So the bottom line is she is hot.. playboy hot!

"I never imagined Kyle stooping THAT low," I murmured to Lynn.

"Yeah I know! Think I have to spice things up a bit. Get his attention back," she smirked at me and rolled her shoulders so her blouse exposed a lace bra.

"In school?" I whispered and she nodded. "..well if anyone can pull it of its you!"

"Thank you," she grinned and we laughed but it stopped when Carmen laughed even higher.

"I'll be right back," I whispered and before Lynn could stop me I was already on my way. "Hey Kyle," I smiled and frowned lightly when I looked at Carmen. "..carmen."

"Renesmee," she said disguested and I shrugged it off.

"I was thinking about a double date. Jacob, me, you and your girlfriend," I emphasized GIRLFRIEND and Carmen rolled her eyes. "..tonight."

"Uh, yeah sure." he mumbled and seemed a bit confused and... scared.

"I thought we were gonna hang out tonight," Carmen pouted and stroked his hand.

"Girlfriends come first I guess," I shrugged my shoulders at Carmen and Lynn sat down beside Kyle. She knew when to make an entrance... and how! She leaned in for a passionate kiss and 'accidentely' showed of her lace bra a bit.

"Hey babe," Lynn smiled to him and he was focused on her once again.

"Hey," he almost stuttered in surprise over her kiss.

"Cute aren't they?" I teased Carmen and she walked away. Descretely I high fived Lynn before I walked away. Now I had two choices. Sit next to Carmen or the new guy in the corner. I walked over to the new guy and as my eyes focused I could finally see his face better. He had defined cheekbones, dirty blonde almost light brown hair, plump lips and his eyes were concealed by his bangs. Not seeing his eyes was so intriguing. I noticed I was biting my lip as I walked closer and only wanted to see more of him. He could almost be mistaken for a vampire with that beauty. I took a deep breath and sat down beside him.

"Hi," I said nervously. "..I'm Renesmee Cullen," I held my hand out for a handshake and he took it firmly.

"I'm Nathan," he said and I blushed.

Now who might this Nate guy be? ;) Are you excited to know? Please leave reviews :)