During my walk I was flooded with my damn teenager emotions, emozioni stupide! I needed some sort of confirmation, so I went with the best idea I had at the time, which was not the greatest. I decided I would go to Bella's house, Bella being some random girl who used to hang out with Lovino when we were in grade/middle school. She goes to a different high school then us now and we don't see her that often -which was just fine in my case.

Arriving at her house, I knocked on the door and she opened it and gave me a surprised look.

"Hello Feliciano! What are you doing here?" She asked, but she knew what was up.

I looked at her with that 'you know what I want' look, and she pulled me inside.

"Fine, but real quick okay? I got stuff to do."

I grinned cheesily. Not only a child hood friend, but also the make out buddy of Lovino hardcore. I had always been offered some of that too, but I never took her up for it, until now.

She brought me over to the couch and got right to work, this girl knew what to do all right (whore. Jk, but still…). She held on to my cheeks and gripped me lightly while I awk-aly put my arms around her shoulders. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the sensation that was going through me-but I couldn't really. It was sloppy, and quick. She let me go and sighed.

"You know usually that's a give and take situation." She told me.

"Ve?" I asked.

"You're supposed to kiss back."

"Oh. Sorry." I apologized. "Um, thank you anyway. I, uh, I'm gonna go home now, ve." I got up off the couch and waddled over to the door. "Ciao Bella!"

"Bye Feliciano, just close the door on your way out." She didn't look up.

oFTbreakoFT

Well that didn't solve anything! I guess it was stupid in the first place, but it was weird- the kiss that is. It felt the same as any other kiss I had with a past girlfriend, but not like the one with that weirdo that just came up to me. I don't know it was all confusing. I needed to get my mind off of this for now, and I knew the perfect way to do this: Play football, YAY!

I knew the best football buddy who always had too much time on his hands, and that was Ludwig. I skipped over to his house forgetting all my problems with newfound thoughts of kicking his ass in the bestest game evar!

I knocked on the front door and only had to wait a moment before Elizabeth opened it up for me.

"Oh hello Feliciano!" She greeted happily. "Come on in inside." She ushered me onto the couch where Gilbert was already residing.

"'Sup Mario?" Gilbert asked, smirking I guess at the new nickname. "If you're looking for West he's outside with Blackie."

"Ve~ thanks Gilbert!" I called as I ran out the back. When I got into the yard I saw Ludwig laying down with Blackie at his side looking up at the sky. From hearing me close the door behind myself, Blackie got up barking and trotted happily to greet me. "Ve~ ciao cagnolino~!" I sing-songed while I bent down and started to play with her ear.

Ludwig got up and walked over to his dog and me. He looked me over a bit before sitting down next to me.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Y-yeah, heh. Why else wouldn't I?" I countered unconvincingly.

"You've been acting… off, today. I don't like it."

"Ve~ I'm fine really! I just wanted to play some football in the park with you if that's okay?" Aw-yeah, changing the subject like a baws!

"Yeah, sure. Just let me put Blackie in his crate." He regarded me again for a moment before walking off towards the house, holding on to the chain around his dogs' neck to guide him.

I watched him walk away with much intent. The way he walked had me staring for some unknown reason. Although it shouldn't have, he seems to walk normally, but I always couldn't help but look at him from behind.

When he came back out side he had a football in hand and a look of slight awkbirdness.

"Let's go." He called to me and I skipped merrily after. We walked out the back gate to the front of the house. Tino and Berwald were sitting on the steps in the house next to Ludwig's reading.

"Ciao!" I greeted to them and they looked up and waved back.

"Hello to you Feliciano!" Tino replied, smiling genuinely. "Where are you two going?"

"We're gonna go play some football!" I answered happily.

"Have fun!" He went back to reading and I grabbed Ludwig's hand to pull him to the park.

oFTbreakoFT

At the park Ludwig was bringing his A-game. He looked stressed in his movements but he tried to conceal it and I decided to let it go.

Although this game was quite distracting I couldn't help but again think about what was racking my brain all day. I couldn't think of myself being gay, but when I came to think about it was I ever really attracted to any of the girls I've dated? Sure they were nice and pretty girls, but something always seemed missing. It wasn't like a love as more of a pastime, a jerk one if you think about how I always ended up dumping them for no apparent reason. And okay so maybe once or twice (or five) times I fapped to a guy, but that was Brad Pitt from 'Fight Club' and come on, what man's junk doesn't wiggle at that beauty. Going back to my childhood, I did have the biggest crush on this one boy, as a little kid, but that didn't mean anything, right? Maybe I was just in denial. If I could just come to agree with what my inner feelings are, maybe I could be happier?

"OOOooowwww!" My thoughts were cut short and I whined out loud.

"Feliciano! Oh, no, I'm really sorry!" I looked up (because I had fallen) and saw Ludwig running up to me. "Hahahaha! I'm sorry! But maybe if you weren't day dreaming you wouldn't have a soccer ball hit you on the head!" I would have been more pissed if Ludwig wasn't laughing- he never laughs and it sounded so pretty.

"Ve~ he-heh I guess you're right." I started to rub the side of my head a bit to try and soothe the pain.

"But seriously are you okay?" Ludwig asked and then hugged me. Wait a sec- yeah! Ludwig was hugging me in a protective manner, waiting for me to answer. This felt right. It was comforting to not only my physical pain, but my emotional one too.

"Ve~ yeah silly I'm fine!" I reassured him and he helped lift me up. I could see that his cheeks were dusted a light red, but I decided not to comment on it, but it did look cute. "You know, I think I'm going to head home now. Okay?"

"Okay." He sighed, "Do you want me to take you back?" Ludwig asked me.

"No, but thank you! I'm going to make a pit stop along the way." I told him and he made a weird face, not weird as in :8, but weird as in a face I don't see him have often. I'm sure it's nothing. "I'll see you Monday Ludwig!" I said as I let go of him. "Goodbye!" I told him when I hugged him before running off.

"Tschüß." I heard him mutter behind me.

oFTbreakoFT

I had myself a bit of a revelation while playing football today and I needed to tell someone about it- that's where Katyusha comes in! Or Kat, as I often call her. Kat has been one of my best girl biffles. Ever since middle school we just hit it off, she's shy and has a high awkward meter, but she's really sweet.

I knocked on her front door and Natalia, her younger sister answered it. She glared daggers at me to which I responded with a fake smile and she let me in.

"Katyusha!" She called up the stairs and left me alone to go to the basement. I didn't have to wait long to hear the telltale sound of bouncing noises from the second floor, indicating Kat's arrival.

"Who is it?" She asked while descending the steps. She made eye contact with me and smiled, genuinely pleased with my presence. "Hi Feli!" She exclaimed, "Come on up!" She ushered me to follow her to her room, which I gladly followed.

I sat down on her bed and she closed the door behind herself; her parents trusted me not to do anything (and I never would). Kat was like a sister, but we didn't go to the same school any more so I didn't get to see her as much.

"What's up?" She asked me, sitting on her rolling office chair and scooting over to me.

I hesitated. I tried to find the best way to subtlety talk about my problem but I found word vomit instead.

"I think I'm gay." I blurted and looked down to avoid her eyes. It was quiet in the room shortly after this was said. I dared a glance up. My eyes met with hers for a second and she smiled.

"I figured you were. Did you tell anyone else?" Out of all the things I might have expected, this reaction was not one.

"You thought I was gay?" I asked, a tad shocked.

"Well yeah," she replied, "my whole family did. That's why you're allowed in my room with the door closed.

"Ve? What gave it away?"

"I don't know, honestly. I mean you've always been at least a little flamboyant. Remember when we were watching fight club and you had to keep a pillow on your lap because of Brad Pitt?" She laughed.

"Ve! But that's Brad Pitt! C'mon I can't help that!" I retorted.

"Okay then, what about when we watched the high school movie marathon and you were biting your lip every time Zac Efron came on!"

The odds were not in my favor.

"Either way I think I am, and no, I didn't tell anyone else. My grandpa brought it up today though, and I just denied it."

"Well I'm proud of you." She told me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "It takes courage to come out to someone, and you know I'll always be here for you!" She smiled sweetly and gave me a hug that I returned ten-fold.

"Thanks Kat! I gotta go home now, but I'm glad we had this talk!"

oFTbreakoFT

I felt so much better when I came home. Just having some sort of verification was enough for me. I felt like a hole inside my heart was filled up, aka my feels were balanced! I walked into my house with a swing in my steps and it did not go unnoticed by my grandpa.

"Hey Feli~! You look so much better! Are you okay now?" He asked.

"Ciao nonno! Ve~ I'm fine, don't worry." I gave him my hello kiss and headed upstairs to go to sleep. "Buona notte nonno~!"

"Buona notte~"

oFTbrakeoFT

As I got comfy in my bed I heard the door open slightly. I turned over to face the doorway and saw Pookie walking in.

"Ve? Pookie, what are you doing?" My cat did on occasion come to sleep in my room, but mainly he just sleeps by the heater.

Pookie meowed at me and jumped up on my bed, curling up next to my belly. She smelled like cheese and bacon, funny since we didn't eat any of that stuff today.

"Hey Pookie, has Lovino been feeding you scraps again?" I asked playfully before curling up next to the brown fluff next to me. I kissed his head and leaned into my pillow drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

Translations:

Italian: emozioni stupide=Stupid emotions, Buona note= Good night

German: Tschüß= bye (I heard this was like the informal way but I'm not too sure)

A/N: Aha! It's on the table now! Now this story can get moving along. I'd like to take a moment to remind you guys that this story is rated M, nothing's happening soon but there will be some M-ie stuff later. Also I forgot to mention this last chapter but I'm using my wonderful city of Chicago as a reference for this story. That means something weather-wise here will be in the story, it's not important but just thought I'd put it up there. And yes, the hip mall is real I didn't make that up there will be more little things like that in here so if you're confused on anything don't be shy to ask!