**Trigger Warning: There will be some pretty gruesome things in the Torfan flashback. If you feel like avoiding it, skip to the next section further down the page. I can give you a recap over PM if you'd like, without such details**
The first thing Liara felt was apprehension; whether it was from Shepard's feelings over doing the meld, or Shepard's feelings about the mission, it was near overwhelming. Liara wasn't unfamiliar with the sensation, though she was surprised to feel it from the woman. Shepard, to her, always seemed sure of herself when in battle, and she felt confident enough that Shepard was content melding, so it was confusing. She didn't have much time to ponder the reasons for long, as she watched herself and a number of other soldiers quickly hopping out of the shuttle they'd been riding in, charging into nearby cover as Shepard's voice rang out, giving orders and coordinating an attack. It was strange to be seeing and experiencing the memory through the woman's eyes; it was generally the most common, but she had enjoyed the freedom of simply wandering in the woman's mind during the previous meld, and hoped she would be given the same opportunity. She couldn't feel too disappointed though. This is Torfan, one of the defining moments of Shepard's life! I will hopefully see, in part, how she came to be who she is today…she thought with a smile, as the woman began pushing forward toward a large, very defensible looking building.
For a number of minutes, the amount of detail was maddening; gunfire was erupting from seemingly every direction, Shepard barking out order after order, each a slight change from the last as more of her platoon were held at bay and pushed back. Liara tried to focus on what others were saying on the commander's earpiece, but it was so difficult to pay attention with all the chaos around. She heard loud voices, screams, explosions, and felt as Shepard's heart raced, aching with each beat. There had been an encroaching sense of dread, which only spiked as four words were called out over comms.
"Kyle's unit is down!" she heard, Shepard recognizing it as Santana, one of the medically trained soldiers in the company.
"Get him out of there and back to the LZ, this mission went to shit even before we got here!" she heard Shepard call out over comms, covering her platoon as they fell back, placing distance between them and the enemy's defenses as she provided cover fire.
Liara watched as people slowly fell back to where the shuttles had once been, seeing fewer now than there had been before as they all took cover further from the facility. Shepard was cursing up a storm as gunfire raged in the distance, stopping as three men stumbled toward Shepard's platoon, stray bullets blazing past them. Shepard scrambled over and Liara felt worry coursing through the woman's veins. She recognized, through Shepard, one of the men as her commanding officer, Major Kyle; he had fresh burns over his body and much of his armor had been demolished.
"What the fuck happened?! We need to arrange for pickup, Kyle!" Shepard called out over the sounds of war.
"They overran us, the bastards! I…lost so many. They killed so many! My nephew…oh God, my nephew!" Kyle ranted, his focus seemingly shifting from one thing to the next with little attention to detail. Both Liara and Shepard's thoughts meshed at the same time, realizing the man was shaken, nervous, anxious. Broken. She felt emanate from Shepard.
"What happened?! Focus, Major, we need to know what to do next!" Shepard demanded, grabbing a hold of the man's singed shoulders. Kyle winced and momentarily gave her a glance.
"We need to leave! I…they were supposed to be a slave ring, but…poorly defended. Low quality weaponry…they had enough…God, Norman! Shit! Shepard, we need…did you call everyone back to the LZ? We need to get back to the LZ!" Kyle spoke, his words frantic. Shepard grabbed his face and gave him a look over; soon shaking her head and turning away.
"Santana, I think he's pretty concussed. See what you can do, I'm going to radio in for an evac." Shepard said, tapping at her earpiece a few times. "Flores, we need you back here, we got ambushed. Holding them off for now, but they've pushed us back. Get us out of here!"
Shepard moved over to a nearby stone barrier, drawing an assault rifle and firing off shots at some entrenched batarians while she waited for a response. It came after nearly a minute and two heat sink overheats.
"Negative, Lieutenant. We're not clear for a pick up." She heard crackle in over her left ear, a wash of confusion spilling over Liara from the words.
"What do you mean, negative? Flores, you're a fucking all-star, you've done worse ones than this, get down here!" Shepard demanded with more than a little edge to her voice.
"Brass says it's too dangerous to risk any more resources. I'm sorry…you're on your own right now until you can make some progress down there. We've been recalled to the hangar." The man on the line said, drawing a number of expletives from Shepard's mouth.
"What the Christ? We scouted out a safe fucking hiding spot for you all to sneak off to until we needed pickup! There's no reason to be brought back space-side, patch me through to them. Now." Shepard growled, anger rushing through her, and more than a shred of fear. Liara had a bad feeling about what was happening. Nothing had seemed to be going to plan at all. It was almost comical how poorly organized the mission seemed to have been, but the deaths were no laughing matter, certainly.
"They'll only speak to Kyle, you know that, so…get him to try and maybe they'll listen. Flores out."
Shepard fired off a few more rounds, her aim wildly inaccurate from such a range, and then stormed back to the Major who sat appearing dazed as Santana looked him over with an omni-tool.
"Shepard! We need to leave! They…killed them! I…oh God they all burned, I heard their screams, my nephew's screams! I…we need to get…Shepard, we need to leave!" Kyle rambled, slurring slightly. She looked up to Santana who shook his head gravely.
"Serious concussion, not helped by his panicking." Santana noted slipping to the side as cover a few feet away erupted. "Any luck?"
Shepard shook her head and grimaced. "He's the only one they'll listen to. They took the ships back to the hangar…we're being hung out to dry until we can salvage this."
"What?!" the medic exclaimed, his bushy brows lowering into an intense glare. "They were our contingency plan if things went south, we need them here!"
"Alliance says it's too risky, which…well, it's risky, but we're not getting in there like we planned. They've erected defenses and entrenched themselves…the blueprints we planned this mission out with are either old, or intel was leaked a while ago. I'm thinking both." Shepard grumbled, pulling up a map on her omni. "All three entrances we had planned are too fortified. Our LZs aren't guarded by anti-air…at least not good anti-air, but they've got some turrets set up that could and are doing damage. We're not walking into any of those. We need to plan this out again."
Santana looked over to Kyle, who seemed to be shielding his eyes from the sun, looking to the sky for something. "Goddamnit!"
Shepard moved in front of the Major and tapped away at the man's earpiece and omni-tool, patching him through to Flores. "Tell Flores to patch you through to the Admiral, alright Major?"
Kyle looked at her with a dull expression and began rambling again about the fire and his unit burning. She saw the connection establish on the omni-tool, but Kyle wasn't responding to it. He was just rambling, and he was getting angrier.
"Get the damn shuttles here ! We…we need to get out of here!" the Major finally ranted, and she noticed the transmission was quickly forwarded to a new frequency. Shepard hated seeing the Major like that, Liara sensed. Prodding a little, she only was able to sense fondness for the man, and sadness over his state. "Shepard, you get that damn Flores kid over here, we have to leave!"
"What are they saying Major?" Shepard asked, copying the transmission contact data for future reference. Kyle only repeated his urgent wish to leave, and it wasn't long before the communication with the Alliance was cut.
Liara felt Shepard take a deep breath, exhaling slowly as apprehension once again found a home in her. "Santana…Kyle can't lead like this. You know that. You can see that." The woman spoke in a low tone, eliciting a slow nod from the medic, who turned to Kyle. "You know what you need to do."
Santana gave the man another look as he activated his omni-tool again. She listened, pained, as the medic called the man unfit for duty, the action passing command of the mission over to Shepard, the next highest ranking officer. She looked down at the man with sadness and turned away, feeling heavier with burden.
Suddenly, it was night-time, which was a jarring experience; a blink of an eye and a setting change. She understood that perhaps spending a full day or two in a meld wasn't feasible, and was comforted by the thought that the commander was looking out for her health.
Shepard slowly crept forward alongside four others; she could nearly smell the tension between the group as they began scaling the facility, Shepard directing the others to certain scouting positions as they reached the next story. She watched Banjara set the charges on a nearby wall, hoping the six other teams were doing well in their parts, hoping that the remainder were holding the batarians off near the landing zone. Shepard had given new orders, establishing small fire teams for guerilla tactics; weakening defenses of the facility and keeping the batarians off balance until they could find and shut down at least some of the building's power. Liara watched the memory through Shepard's night-vision, and imagined they would gain an advantage over less equipped batarians in the darkness.
At least, she hoped as much. They had been at the process for nearly three hours and had managed to slowly whittle down the batarians with minimal losses, if one were to reduce everything to numbers at least. Having a sight-based advantage over the batarians would provide a greater chance of victory than the slim one they had. She knew Shepard had merely wanted to whittle the batarians enough to push their defense back, letting the shuttles come for pickup, but from the attacks she had been witnessing, they seemed to have the slavers on the run somewhat.
The explosion that came mere seconds later was minor; enough to break open the wall, but not enough to erupt it. It had been slightly less audible than she'd imagined as well, watching as the team cautiously entered the makeshift doorway, hopping down into a narrow, dingy hallway that smelled of urine. Shepard signaled with her hands for Banjara, O'Keefe and Hounsou to check ahead of them, while she and Zahabi headed in the other direction, weapons cautiously raised as alarms continued to sound from a prior attack.
The two crept along the corridor, a potent stench overwhelming their senses, only getting stronger and more horrendous the further they traveled.
"Got a line down to the power core here, Shepard. Got Banjara working on getting his VI in there. He's not sure how much control he can sap remotely, but he's confident he can take this local network…maybe a fifth of the building." She heard Hounsou whisper over the comms. A worried thought flashed through Shepard's mind, that they hadn't encountered anyone in the current venture. Liara could feel the tension slowly building in the woman as she continued down the hall.
"Sounds good. Once you two take care of that let me know…we're getting close to something over here I think, and I would have expected trouble by now. Something's up." Shepard spoke, her voice clear and quiet as she and Zahabi crept along, her watching ahead, and Zahabi watching her rear.
Shepard compressed herself against the inside wall as they neared a corner, signaling Zahabi to cover her as she darted across the gap, noticing no one guarding the minor hall and the entrance at the end of it. Slowly, she rounded the corner and Zahabi fell in beside her, moving ahead slightly to hack the door as they got close. Liara wished she had a nose to plug as her senses seemed on overdrive, and felt Shepard give a slight jerk as her gag reflex acted up momentarily.
It acted up again as Zahabi took manual control of the door, opening it halfway slowly, the pungent stench wafting out of the dank chamber they'd accessed. Ignoring the smell as best as she could, Liara focused on Shepard's view, noticing minimal lighting, plenty of organic waste, plenty of cages and plenty of occupants; the conditions seemed brutal from what details she could take in, Shepard's head furiously looking around the room, taking in details quicker than Liara was able to keep up with. A sound halted the woman's gaze and brought it to her left, further across the room where a batarian stood, making noises that brought a boiling nausea through Shepard, quickly replaced by a fury she'd never expected from her.
Shepard quickly made her way into the waste-filled room, many of the caged crying out, making noise, distracting the batarian just long enough for him to stop the vile act he was forcing on one of the human slaves. Watching Shepard do a charge in the field of battle was one thing, but the sight of being in one place one second, and another before a blink of an eye was wild. She'd always wished Shiala would have taught her the technique.
Shepard's charge landed her a foot or two from the batarian, still stunned and slightly unaware, silenced viciously as Shepard impaled her knife deep in his neck with one hand, using her other to shield the slave woman from as much of the blood as she could manage, before kicking the batarian to the ground. Her eyes traced the smallish room for another guard but found none. Just cages and cages stacked on top of each other; none of the slaves allowed to stand, only allowed to rest on their hands and knees. There were mostly humans, but asari and turians were visible as well, all represented across a plethora of age groups. The amount of abused, wounded and frightened children staggered Liara's mind. It all seemed unfathomable.
Liara had heard of the severity of the batarians, and once balked at the cruelty she'd heard of their practices. Though slavers didn't speak for all batarians, their cultural history of slavery had quickly been cast in a much different light for Liara. She had always expected something closer to what the asari would often arrange; a member of a lower house being sent to serve one of the higher houses in order to create alliances, in order to benefit both sides in some manner, whether financially, socially, politically, or in any other manner of ways. It was never truly slavery, Liara felt, although culture would often prevent any asari from declining such a duty. But we would always treat the members of other houses as our own…I love Shiala! I love Nesiiri! They are like older sisters to me… Liara recalled, embracing Shepard's despair momentarily. This is not how I would treat my sisters…I would not treat my worst enemies in such a horrible way!
She watched through the woman's eyes as Shepard approached a small column of cages nearby, kneeling at their entrances as all but one of the slaves scurried as far from her as possible. Her eyes drifted down and held the gaze of what may have been a turian woman; her green eyes shone vibrantly in the dim lighting, though there was little reason for it from what Liara could see. The plates of her exoskeleton had clearly been ground down and shaved away to the tender, raw skin beneath; her body shook ever so slightly as blood dripped down her scalp from where she imagined a batarian had shaved too close, the torn flesh on her forehead masking her face in blue. Through all the blood, the only clear areas on her face were the lines on her cheeks that her tears had washed clean. Shepard's vision blurred alongside a sharp wave of sadness, muttering expletives she would have blushed upon hearing. Her eyes blinked the tears away as best as could be done and Shepard gently took hold of the cage, her eyes never leaving the broken turian's.
"I will get you out of here. We're assaulting the base and…and it won't be long now. I promise, you will see Palaven, or Digeris, or wherever your homeworld is." Shepard whispered softly to the turian, who merely blinked her eyes, wincing through the action. "Give us a few hours to take these bastards out. We'll be back, I promise. I promise."
Liara wasn't certain the words were entirely for the turian as Shepard stood and moved back to the door where Zahabi waited, slave woman in tow.
"What do we do with her?" the marine asked Shepard, sadly gesturing to the withered, bruised, terrified looking girl who grasped the wall as if it were going to fall away from her at any moment.
"We keep the door unlocked and closed. We don't have anywhere to take these people until we get air support, and I don't think this one's going anywhere. Each cage is locked, no one's going anywhere for now. Including her." Shepard noted quietly, Zahabi nodding in turn as they slunk out of the room, the slightly fresher air outside a welcome relief.
As they turned the corner, the environment changed yet again, this time with Shepard moving swiftly through a corridor, joining a battle in a moderately sized lobby. She tossed a grenade hard through the air as gunfire from Alliance troops pushed a number of batarians to retreat, their bodies splintering into shrapnel from the explosion as they were intercepted by the hail mary. The last minute seemed to take hours as Shepard and the Alliance soldiers pushed up through the lobby and left only one batarian retreating from where he came. Shepard quickly signaled soldiers to guard the entrances, and the engineers to send out drones to prevent flanking attacks or any other nasty surprises the slavers may have had in store.
Her hand was up to her ear immediately, tapping in the code for the Alliance frequency she'd had difficulty negotiating with the entire night. It was nearing daybreak, and Liara knew if they wanted their advantage to fully hold, they would need to finish the job soon, or leave. She hoped they would finish it. Leaving the slaves they had found to such a fate seemed monstrous.
It only took moments for the Alliance comms officer to respond, quickly linking her through to Rear Admiral Steeves. Liara felt an undertone of confusion as the memory played, and dug deeper into the meld; just enough to find out what Shepard was possibly thinking. To her dismay, she was only able to grasp that the man seemed very much a stranger to her. It was always a difficult process to derive full sensory data and past mental processes; Matriarchs and matrons were often capable enough at their advanced ages to do so, but Liara felt some strain from the endeavour. She didn't want the meld to end due to her exhausting herself. She wanted to see it through to the end.
"Lieutenant Shepard. I assume you have progress." The man's gravelly tone filled her left ear, the man's nonchalant tone irking Liara. While she had only been given glimpses of the mission, it seemed worthy of more personal investment than apathy.
"We've pushed them back into the inner ring of the facility. Our engineers have isolated power sources and have gained control of all external wings. We've lost a lot of people, but we have them holed up…they have nowhere to go. I need you to get the shuttles down here so we can bring the injured, the dead and the slaves out of here. The landing zones are fully secure and under Alliance control." Shepard stated calmly, patting a passing soldier on the shoulder.
The silence on the other end seemed to last minutes as they waited for a response, most of the soldiers in the lobby keyed in on her, waiting for some word of what was going to happen.
"We've gained intel in the last hour showing the possibility that the facility may have explosives rigged to it in case of an organized slave escape. We can't risk the shuttles, Lieutenant." The rear admiral spoke, his voice a little more stern from what Liara could pick up. She felt Shepard's confusion melt into rage as her eyes grew wider.
"I repeat, Rear Admiral, we have control of the facility! Our live scans have shown minor explosives in slave chambers, which have been disconnected and removed from the area!" Shepard practically yelled, incensed at the man's rejection. "Your intel is bad, just like the initial intel was bad. We need those shuttles down here!"
"Lieutenant, remember your rank when addressing me. One more outburst from you and I'll have you stationed in a control center on Mars so fast that it'll make your head spin." The man continued, his voice still unnervingly calm. "I'm transferring an access code to your omni-tool, Lieutenant. Send our communications team your scans of the facility. If the facility is deemed safe, then we'll get you and your soldiers out of there. The rest will be taken care of once you're aboard."
Shepard stilled her tongue for a moment as she transferred the data to the Admiral's comm team, not enjoying the man's choice of words in the least. She dialed back the rage in her voice as much as she could, despite it burning as strong as ever within her. "Taken care of, sir? We have some soldiers needing medical treatment, but the slaves are all in dire need as well. They have to be a priority, sir. We could use some reinforcements to further secure the facility so we can spare bodies to get those slaves free. We only have one medically trained officer left, and we could use a number more to help expedite the process."
There was a brief pause this time, though the communication link was still active. Liara could hear the faint sounds of other voices in the background. "I would if I could, Lieutenant. We don't have any to spare, and your team has accomplished the mission objective. I won't risk any more men for this. Just sit tight and be ready for evac, Lieutenant. That's an order. "
At that, the link was cut, Shepard left standing in the middle of the lobby, surrounded by two dozen soldiers who seemed entirely on edge over what they could understand through the woman's words and body language. Shepard walked over to a pillar and rested her hand on it, trying to calm herself, and faintly succeeded in her efforts. Liara was not sure she would have been able to. If mother had denied someone something so vital as this…I do not believe I could bear it.
"They were never meant to be rescued. I don't think we were meant to survive. Goddamn suicide mission." She heard Shepard whisper almost silently to herself, the fingers on her right hand gripping the pillar with such force Liara was surprised it did not give, considering the wear and tear it had endured during the battle. It was a revelation that both shook and confused Liara. Her mind swirled as she worked to recall the events and the conditions of the mission. As she had imagined before, it had all seemed comically unorganized and poorly planned. Such a conclusion suddenly became the only one to make sense. Yet, that confused her more. Shepard was, at this point, a decently regarded soldier…she had just finished N7 training, something few humans accomplish. Losing a prized soldier as her would be disastrous! Why would they…why?
Her focus returned to the memory at hand, Shepard drawing in the remaining active soldiers around her. She felt some anxiety billow through the woman as she spoke.
"The Rear Admiral says he won't send help until we finish the job." Shepard said as calmly as she could seemingly manage. Liara was surprised at the woman's ability to control her emotions. She couldn't help but wonder if that ability would be able to help her in biotics related meditations as well. However, she was more surprised at Shepard's lie. What is she doing? That wasn't what the Admiral said…
"Five hours ago, he said the shuttles were being prepped and would be ready once we cleared the external defenses!" Liston yelled, slamming his fist against a barrister. "What the hell!"
Shepard watched Zahabi step forward cautiously. "Lieutenant…we don't have enough people to rush the core of the facility. We'll be slaughtered, you've seen the blueprints." Zahabi stated warily. "What exactly are you asking of us?"
Shepard sighed and Liara saw a flash of the mutilated turian as the woman thought back to the room of slaves; the first of three that she'd encountered that night. "It's a difficult call. This mission has been hell from the start, and I've seen more friends die today than I could have ever imagined in my worst nightmares. You all have been a damn credit to your uniform today. To humanity." Shepard spoke, looking over the soldiers gathered nearby, many looking outright dejected, afraid, and angry. Liara didn't blame them. They had been sent into a situation that she could hardly imagine was real. "And...if anything, I ask you to remember why you signed up for the Alliance. Why we were sent here. This slave ring has been terrorizing the traverse for years. Thousands abducted and killed. This slave ring's members participated in Elysium, in Mindoir."
Shepard took a few steps toward the passageway toward the central chambers of the building. "They eluded us for too long. Too many families were slaughtered, left barren with parents, siblings, children abducted and sold like common cattle. For too long we could do too little, but on Elysium, we stood firm and said no more. We've been on this witch hunt for years, we've seen the faces of those whose lives have been stolen from them." Shepard continued, pointing out into the passageway, the soldiers eyes glued to her as she continued her speech. "We've breached their lair and we have them backed into a corner. We have the chance to get those people's lives back…they're waiting for us in those damn cages, and we have an opportunity to do what we do best. Protect and serve! Send a message that we will strike down slavers where they stand, that the strongest of them toppled under our justice! Today we can make history, we can set a precedent to deter slavers for decades!"
The woman took a few steps back to the pack of tired looking soldiers, some of them nodding, determination flaring in their eyes. Others just stared back blankly.
"I've seen the will of humanity these last hours, and I've never been more proud. I would not ask this of you if I didn't believe in every single one of you." Shepard finished, scanning the crowd. Liara wasn't sure her words had worked entirely on them, but enough seemed willing to go. She counted the remaining soldiers, deciding which were fit to continue. Eighteen not including herself; the rest had glaring injuries that would just put their lives unnecessarily at risk, Liara felt. She was glad to be correct as Shepard called the eighteen forward, although a few stood still.
"Shepard…think about this, alright? Look, we've all had some pretty wild orders before in our career…hell, Kyle would ask batshit things of us all the time this past year, but…this is suicide. Let's just leave and have them nuke this hole from orbit. We'd all be better off." Krauss spoke, giving Shepard an apologetic look.
Liara felt the woman's anger rise at the statement and braced herself. Instead, Shepard was calm in her retort. "Krauss, there are hundreds of slaves here. You'd ask to forfeit their futures?"
Liara watched another soldier step forward. "They're already broken, Lieutenant. You saw them in there…you can't salvage that. An orbital strike would end their suffering, it'd be doing them a favour." Hounsou said with a serious tone, gesturing to the passageway behind Shepard. "And it's not worth the risk. We can do the galaxy good elsewhere."
"Hounsou, you were stationed on Mindoir when it was attacked. Did you sit out then?" Shepard asked calmly again, shifting her focus to him. "Good people were slaughtered and stolen there by these slavers. Your regiment was outnumbered twenty to one, lacked the air support the batarians had, lacked the firepower the batarians had…but you fought then. Why not now?"
"I was protecting people, families on Mindoir. The batarians…I know what they do to slaves. They are no longer humans, not anymore. Their families wouldn't want to see them like this, I wouldn't want them to have to grieve again. Let us all just end their misery. We do not need to pay with our lives for that, Shepard." The man retorted, shaking his head. Liara noticed a few others in agreement.
"So we're the judge, jury and executioner here? You don't think these people's lives are worth saving? We're defining humanity now?" Shepard asked, sounding baffled as a wash of frustration coursed through her. "We have a duty to protect, or have you forgotten that? We sacrifice so others don't have to, so they can live peacefully and safely."
Krauss stepped forward this time, giving a stony look at the woman. "It's a suicide run, Shepard. I agree with Hounsou. Hundreds of slaves…they'd all need so much fixing and they'd be living with that pain forever. We should just leave, get a damned orbital strike, and face the consequences."
"ENOUGH!" Shepard yelled out, slamming the butt end of her shotgun on the ground. "We're going to do our damn duty as soldiers! You leave now, you're a deserter, and I'll make goddamn sure you're stripped of rank and thrown in a goddamn cell for it. Am I clear?" Shepard growled, staring a few of the soldiers down. Liara noted a number of them give her cold stares, but all eventually nodded. This could have gone a lot smoother…
Shepard stood still for a few moments, tapping away at her omni-tool, bringing up the building layout.
"Eriksson, Banjara, O'Keefe, you'll be in the vanguard with me. We'll push up first and give the others some room to work, being a shield for the rest of you, basically. The hallway's long, but between me and Eriksson's biotics, we should be able to keep our barriers up by the time we reach the lobby. They'll have higher ground, as there's a staircase, but Liston and Hinds, you two need to blow that to hell. I'll want you back in the pack and the rest covering you in order to keep them from targeting you two specifically. Your grenade launchers have range, shoot once we hit the fifty percent mark, alright? That should give us enough distraction to get in and cause some chaos. It'll be a terrible few seconds, but I think if we work together, we can do it." Shepard spoke, poking at the holo at times to emphasize her tactics. "Now, as for specific jobs…"
Liara listened as Shepard finished up her planning, watching on with apprehension as the nineteen of them ventured down the passageway, stopping shy of the corner of the choke-point. Shepard's hand signals counted down slowly from five and then they were off.
Liara would have gasped at the length of the hall had she been able; it was at least fifty metres long, and quite narrow. Almost immediately, she had that shock replaced by the ensuing chaos around Shepard as she and Eriksson charged forward, closing the distance quickly as a number of turrets and live batarians fired upon them from the railings of the stairs. Shepard threw out a biotic attack as she left a charged state, knocking an airborne grenade back toward the slavers; she noticed the wince the woman made almost immediately after as more explosions erupted behind her, as the dying shouts of her companions sounded through the hall.
Flashes of pain transferred to Liara as she felt bullets impact against Shepard's body, now nearing the lip of the lobby. She felt the woman limp as she got back to her feet, having rolled to avoid a torrent of fire from a batarian's flamethrower. Again she tossed out a biotic throw, narrowly missing a flying projectile as it lobbed toward the tail end of the platoon.
"Grenade!" she called out, turning her focus back to the stairway and the attackers there as she charged to a nearby pillar for cover. Gunfire exploded around the stony support beam and Liara knew it would only hold up for so long; luckily, all Shepard had needed to do was grab her shotgun. Her biotic barrier shielding had carried much of the group through the choke point, and Liara knew that everything after that point it would be sheer madness. The panicked shouts and bloodcurdling screams that followed a ground-shaking explosion merely drove the point home.
Shepard swung out from cover, charging through flames and midway up the steps into the offending batarian sending the dangerous weapon soaring into the air from the impact and the slaver into a broken heap on the stairway. More bullets peppered Shepard's barriers as she charged yet again, bursting up to the second level of stairs and into a makeshift defense, cracking it open and letting her shotgun tear into the attackers behind it. Liara heard the turrets behind her suddenly fade off and an explosion soon afterward, signaling to her that the other biotic had taken care of the automatic defenses on that level.
Using the remains of the defense as cover, Shepard pushed the defenses up the stairs slowly, letting the slaver's fire impact against it as she drew closer, letting her platoon absorb less punishment in turn. All she could feel from the woman was sheer determination; no fear, no anger, just the relentless force of her will. A large explosion erupted ahead of her, and she could hear Liston's hoarse cheer far behind her, smoldering batarian corpses rolling and raining down around her. She peeked over her deteriorating mobile defense and saw sheer destruction and death. Liara could only hope that the areas behind Shepard fared better, but there had been too much to take in and keep track of.
Shepard continued her push up and planted the defense at the top of the staircase, bullets boring holes through it; Liara saw no cover nearby from the woman's field of vision and desperately hoped she would find something new. She watched the woman slink down the stairs, retreating to a pile of ruined batarian corpses. Liara felt the woman's fury mix with her shock as Shepard lifted them with her biotics, and immediately propelled them across the next room with a vicious throw. As soon as they were airborne she used the distraction to move to a pillar somewhat nearby, charging half the way. Out of the corner of her eye Liara noticed another biotic blur, reassuring her that Shepard would have some help pushing up.
She and Eriksson held their barriers and tossed grenades at the next line of defenses further across the room, partially entrenched by the doorway. Only for a moment did she wonder why the woman wasn't advancing, hearing the sound of the rest of her platoon storming up the stairway. At the sound, Shepard and Eriksson bolted from cover, providing a distraction as they moved to another pillar near the side flanks of the defenses, drawing fire from the pillar of incoming soldiers. It wasn't enough.
Explosions erupted throughout the room as if they were the opening fireworks during Janiris. Shepard watched a dozen batarians thrown from their demolished cover; limbs splayed out on the ground alongside the torsos they once belonged to, seeping more blood than Liara could have imagined. The room had quickly become a massacre, and the sounds of anguish and screaming behind the woman let her know her platoon was just as affected. Shepard looked back and a wave of misery broke through her determined façade; three others were getting to their feet, but more remained limp on the ground, blown into portions, or writhing in agony. The woman's eyes fixated on Zahabi, a man Liara had sensed she had a good friendship with, or at least a form of camaraderie, and after checking to see that there was no enemy movement, she quickly made her way to him.
"Zahabi, Christ…just hang in there. I'm gonna get you through this, we're going to…we're going to make it." Shepard said, trying to reassure the man as he grimaced in pain, rolling his body around to see her better. He was an absolute mess; the sheer amount of blood was sickening, and it was clear that the soldier didn't have long. The man's legs were broken off and splintered, and his chest plate only held on near his shoulders; everything underneath was scorched and torn open. Liara felt fear flash through her, followed by immense regret. "I'm sorry, Z. I tried…"
The man, eyes closed, gave a pained smile. "I told you we'd be slaughtered, Shepard." The man said weakly, the blood pooling from his mouth slurring his words. "My sister had … a daughter. I haven't seen…" the man's voice trailed into a coughing fit, a spray of blood spattering onto the crude, tile flooring.
"Zahabi, I…" Shepard started, reaching for her medi-gel and pawing at air, remembering she'd used the last of hers on Dreger's thigh wound earlier. "Please hang in there." She finished, fighting back her tears.
"I know what you did…Shepard." The man said, his coughing growing more intense. Liara was surprised at the revelation, though the engineer seemed a likely sort to hack into her communications. She felt Shepard's guilt and knew the woman was deeply conflicted. Pitting hundreds of slaves versus her friends must have been a terrible decision to make. "I understand…I agree…but damn it… I don't want…to die."
"I'm sorry." The words spilled from her lips as she clutched his hand. A light tap against her shoulder informed her she'd have to leave.
"I forgive you, Shep. Save them." The man said, not specifying which group he was speaking about as he covered his wound with his hand and let out a sigh. Shepard spun away from him and toward the partially broken open doorway; once again the woman's determination surprised Liara. That she was able to go from seemingly one state to another made little sense to her. She expected more grief from her response to the man.
Shepard biotically kicked down the remainder of the door and led the remaining soldiers into the hallway, following the building's schematics to what had been deemed the 'control room'. Shepard gestured to Krauss and then to the wall near the entrance, watching as the man set up demolition charges adjacent to the door. The group fell back momentarily, the explosion annihilating the structure of the surrounding area and at least two batarian guards, letting them enter through the cover of smoke, the visors on their helmets giving them a small advantage over the slavers. Liara noticed six batarians in the room from what she could tell by the heat sensors in the visor, two quickly having their lives extinguished by Shepard's shotgun and another soldier's assault rifle.
The smoke cleared, Shepard and the rest of the decimated platoon training their sights on the remaining four as they entered the room. To Liara, it certainly didn't seem like a control room. It was surprisingly fixed with luxurious furniture and recreational devices. A small desk of terminals rested off to the side of the room, but it was all that she could discern as fitting for such a central position of a slave prison. The journey through the hall up to that room had seemed more like a fight through an estate than a prison. She hadn't thought the mission could have gotten odder, but it was a twist she couldn't wrap her mind around.
"We surrender!" one of the batarians yelled out, his voice panicked as he sunk to his knees. It was rare for Liara to see batarians in fine wares, and only set a further contrast against the conditions the slaves had been held under. "We surrender!"
Shepard looked over to Eriksson and caught the man's eye; Liara saw the anger in him, the hurt.
"Restrain them." Shepard stated dully, gesturing for the other biotic to move up with her, catching Krauss and Garnett's pair's of flexi-cuffs as she looked back. The two walked up and, after checking them for weapons, unceremoniously pulled the slavers' arms behind them and cuffed them.
As she was finishing restraining the last of the four, Liara heard the omni-tool go off. Shepard finished her work and stepped away to the other side of the room, taking the incoming comm link.
"Lieutenant, we've confirmed the presence of explosives within and underneath key areas the base using both your data and our ship's scanning technology. We cannot evacuate you and your team unless we are certain there is no risk." The Rear Admiral spoke. Shepard stood silent for a number of moments, and Liara could sense the woman battling her anger. The woman turned back to the rest of the room, her eyes fixating on a soldier working at the small set of terminals.
"Rear Admiral, we've completed our objectives. I have Truman confirming that the facility is clear, he's shutting down all contingency protocols as we speak." Shepard noted calmly, taking a few deep breaths after her response. Liara could feel the tension and worry trickling through her system.
"Which could be overridden at their control centre, Lieutenant. We're aware you have remote control…" the man started, but Shepard surprisingly cut the man off. Liara was not well versed in military doctrine, but she was aware that interrupting those of higher rank, and defying orders were very much against policy, and punishable.
"We have taken the control center, Rear Admiral. We've assumed direct control." Shepard stated calmly and with a reassuring but professional tone. The woman caught the attention of the soldier at the desk, who gave her a subdued thumbs up. "Truman's giving us the green light right now. The facility's secure. We're ready for evac."
The silence over the comms was deafening, and Liara swore she heard a slight growl, though it may have been static. After nearly a minute the older man returned to the link. "Lieutenant, you have some explaining to do when you return, I promise you that. Do you have any of the ring leaders to bring back for questioning?"
Shepard's gaze traveled a short distance to the hostages. The four of them faced away from her, some of their heads bowed, others not; all being carefully watched by the three other soldiers. Or, more accurately, glared at. I do not blame them. These four have caused untold suffering.
"Yes. I have three." Shepard stated, her calm façade cracking slightly as her voice took on a lower, darker tone. Liara didn't need to count the batarians to see there were four. I know Shepard is rather uneducated, but…she must be capable of basic mathematics…I would think…
Shepard strode over to the four and stood behind them, her eyes darting between them. Liara wondered what Shepard was planning.
"Fine, then. Prepare them for pick-up. Get your team to the landing zone, we'll have shuttles down in approximately one standard hour. Steeves out." The Rear admiral finished, sounding altogether agitated. It didn't seem to affect the woman, who seemed too involved with staring at the batarians.
Shepard pressed her shotgun's barrel against the side of one of the skittish batarians' heads as she gestured to another of the hostages. "Answer my questions nicely and I don't blow your fucking brains out. Which one is he?" she asked, drawing a look of concern from Krauss, though the rest remained stone-faced.
"Khar'ishin Balak. He manages sales and shipments." The batarian said, eliciting some verbal backlash until Eriksson's biotic throw toppled them over into begrudging silence. "He has family entrenched in the Hegemony."
Shepard pointed her hand at another of them, the gesture pressing him to continue. "Gha'kar Hesselak. He organizes the raids and the security for the facility. Ex military." The batarian continued, more words spilling out as Shepard pointed to the last of the rest of them. "Hansak Kha'tarnk. He organized our internal operations. Running this facility and the mines."
Shepard took a few steps away and moved to the other three. "Your associate's lips are freer than yours. Care to tell me what he does?" she asked, a menacing calm to her voice. Liara sensed something off about the commander and wasn't sure what the woman was plotting.
"Fresk Lihkhar'than. He was my whip." Hansak spoke, venom spitting from each syllable. "And he will pay!"
"Your whip?" Shepard asked, simply, drawing a glare from Khar'ishin.
"Lihkhar'than conditioned the slaves for their masters. It seems he's found new masters to whore himself out to like a slave." The batarian growled, drawing a smirk from Shepard. The woman turned to Fresk and gave him an amused look.
"That true, Fresk?" Shepard asked, strolling casually over to him. "I can keep them, the hegemony, other slave rings from killing you if you're honest with me." She finished, her offer to the vile batarian baffling Liara.
Fresk nodded his head rapidly. "I admit, I conditioned them. I'm good at what I do, I…if you let me go, I can help turn them back!" the batarian spoke frantically, giving Shepard an eager smile.
Shepard nodded and her hand went behind her back, casually resting it on her knife. "I have a friend who lives on a farm. It's kind of wild how violent it can be…this whole time I've been here I just kept thinking back to when I visited her and…she showed me once what her husband's family does for a living." Shepard noted casually, pulling her knife out and running her hand across the flat of the blade. "Showed me all the ways they have to ensure a clean, quick kill for their livestock. Fascinating stuff, but I just haven't studied batarian biology that much in-depth."
Shepard held her hard gaze on the batarian, who sat in front of her confused as she spun her knife in her hand.
"Oh well. Trial by error." She noted nonchalantly as her hand flicked out, her knife tearing into the batarian's shoulder. The slaver let out a roaring scream which was almost immediately muffled by her boot sharply impacting his face, knocking him to the ground. Her knife lashed out again, tearing a long line down his thigh to his kneecap. Liara watched as Shepard struck out with her knife on different non-vital areas, avoiding clusters of nerves, prolonging the admittedly short wait until the slaver died from his wounds. She felt the anger and the hurt in Shepard as she struck him, she felt the fear with each blow, and felt that fear be pushed aside by more anger. When she stood back up, covered in blood, the batarian was barely recognizable.
"Seems I'm not that efficient." She noted, looking back at the other three before moving her gaze to Eriksson, who looked a little shaken. "Let's take them back. Shuttles will be here in an hour and I want as many slaves released and ready as we can manage."
The next few minutes blazed by; the facility didn't seem so large when battle was absent, and Liara refused to focus too much on the hordes of corpses strewn about the compound. There was too much death for her to stomach, and leaving with a mere five healthy soldiers was something she could barely fathom. It was only after the third run to the cell blocks that she'd noticed Shepard had been wounded in a number of areas. Adrenaline had worn off and she felt the woman's exhaustion as she helped some of the slaves to the landing zone, offering a shoulder as support to the turian she had seen earlier as they both limped to freedom.
Liara hadn't seen all of Torfan, but certainly enough to have gained data necessary to build an opinion on. She wasn't certain when or if she would be able to form one from it, and felt relief as Shepard's mind fell away from her; a slight force pushing her out, which she complied with. I will have time later to…assess this. I just want to get back to reality…my reality…
Shepard felt Liara's presence leave her; perhaps not abruptly, but quickly, and without the touch of warmth Liara had given her at the start. She didn't think it was a good sign, and seeing the doctor visibly shaken only darkened her spirits. The day had been disastrous. She'd just wanted to rest afterward and had been hauled into an argument with Liara that she hadn't wanted. Today can't get any worse now…she thought, watching Liara shift away from her, looking a little dazed. Her vision turned away from the asari and to her own hands, finding them disgusting for the unnecessary violence she'd caused. I'm such a fool. Well, I guess I should just finish what I want to tell her and let her…probably hate me. At least she'll have seen me at my worst and made the decision. I can live with that…I think.
"I spent my life up until that point, believing I was fighting for a set of ideals…ideals that thousands and thousands of others fought for as well. I saw those ideals scattered to the wind on Torfan." Shepard noted somberly. "What relief is there in knowing the oath I swore wasn't respected by the people I swore it to? What comfort is there in knowing that I'm hated for doing what I needed in order to protect life? For trying to do the right thing?"
Shepard looked back to Liara, whose brilliant ocean blue eyes pierced her own, though the doctor's face was too difficult to read.
"I wish I had answers for you Shepard, but I do not." The asari spoke sadly, a slight frown curling her mouth downward.
Shepard just shrugged and slumped forward. "I'm okay with what I did. I'd take some of it back if I had to re-live it…I wouldn't have cut that batarian up, but I was just so hurt…it hurt too much, thinking of how he tried to destroy so many lives. I would have saved some medi-gel for Zahabi. I would have waited until all of the slaves were picked up before leaving."
Liara's brow quirked at the last statement and Shepard felt herself fill with dread. "Why should you have waited?"
"They fit as many into the shuttles as they could on their first run. By the time we were exiting the atmosphere, the cruiser had initiated an orbital strike. At least a hundred died. Mostly non-human. I was able to bring that turian aboard, but the Alliance prioritized humans. Some asari and other turians got on, but…not enough. It was a horrible end to a horrible mission, where I made horrible decisions. I'm fine with them now, as much as I can be, but it still hurts. It won't stop." She rambled, running her hand through her curls, looking away from Liara's gaze.
"You tried, Shepard. You were honest, and you tried. I am proud of you for that." Liara stated softly, casually falling flat on top of the bed.
"I lied to my crew, Liara. I might have done it to fulfill a promise I made, but I lied. To…to people I thought of as my family. I wasn't fully honest. I just wanted them to want to help. To do what we fought for. If they'd wanted that…Christ. I'll never forgive myself for lying to them. Not a lie like that." Shepard spoke, leaning over toward the doctor.
Liara looked tired, and she fet a pang of guilt knowing that she'd yet again exhausted the asari through the melding. The doctor's eyes lazily watched Shepard as she crept on her hands and knees over to her. Shepard's arm trembled as her hand gently cupped the asari's cheek. God, I'm still fucking vibrating from her touch…I'm not sure how long the meld lasted but…Christ. Shepard, don't get your hopes up. Let's just…do what needs to be done and leave. She thought, fighting the urge to follow her romantic whims and instead wiped the chocolate off of Liara's lips and chin.
"It…uh…I just didn't know if you knew you had chocolate on your chin. Sorry." Shepard said hurriedly, glancing away nervously. Gah, I'm such an idiot! Why did I do that?
"Oh! Um…thank you. I was unaware." Liara spoke quietly, her voice slightly slurred. Shepard looked back to the blue wonder and suppressed a smile.
"You look tired. Just sleep here tonight if you don't feel like making the trek to the lab." Shepard said, wishing she could will more emotion into her voice. She hated that she often sounded like a cyborg when she was emotionally drained.
As she got up off the bed and stretched, she heard the asari stir behind her. "Where are you going?" Liara asked, sounding already half asleep and far too mesmerizing to fall prey to. Anywhere but here, anywhere away from you.
"I…need to take a walk. Lose this adrenaline." Shepard noted trying to sound as casual and calm as she could manage. Her eyes caught Liara's half-lidded ones and saw a hint of concern in them. She blushed at the asari's concern, and the slight warmth down below. Definitely need to leave. "I'll be fine. Get some rest, Liara."
She made her way out into the thankfully deserted mess-hall, happy that the meld had lasted deep enough into the night shift for there not to be much activity. Shepard slowly made laps around the hall, her mind fruitlessly picking at all the thoughts pestering her. Fucking way to go, Shep. You not only couldn't save all those biotics down there, but you were a fucking idiot and fought Wrex. Shepard mused angrily, touching her tender jaw. Might have fractured it. Liara was right, I was an idiot to take my anger out like that…it WAS self-destructive and I should have damn well admitted that to her.
Shepard stopped midway through her third lap, slowing to a halt and leaning against the food bar. And I should have told her to go. I should have told her to leave when she was still around after my shower. Fuck everything, I should have just had her leave…even if she was ogling me something fierce. She was probably just curious…about my damn history. Not that I helped her out there, giving her a terrifying flashback to Torfan, and a damn scary rant about heroes. I shouldn't have scared her like that. I shouldn't have lashed out like that…
She punched the bar in blind frustration, wincing as her hand collided with the cold steel. I should have stood up for myself! Why can't I stand up for myself once in a while? Why does it have to be so hard to just…do what's right for me? She thought, moving back toward the table and out to the stairwells. I couldn't tell her to leave. I … I couldn't deny her what she wanted from me. Goddamn her fucking space magic eyes! Her…soft, tender touches, her aggression…fuck! I wanted…but it didn't matter. She only ever wanted two things from me. For me to be the soldier to save her mother, and for me to be a damned history book for her to peruse whenever she wanted. And I let her, because she touched me. I'm so damn weak, it's pathetic.
Shepard trudged up the stairwell, doing her best to avoid eye contact as she made her way through the CIC and into the comm room. Her body was feeling sluggish and her mind was throbbing. Her steps were short and labored as she made her way to the nearest chair and collapsed down onto it, folding her legs up against her chest. And I'm an idiot for letting that reality hurt so damn much. I should have never…never thought there was a fucking possibility of her even seeing me any other way. She's a rich, powerful asari, she just probably saw me as a servant or something…no…no, she's nice enough to see me as a friend. I saw her concern, but…fuck, why did I have to let myself be so…vulnerable with her? I…damn it!
She felt tears well up, recalling her vain efforts underneath Liara, hoping, praying the asari would lean down and kiss her, take her. Just thinking of that moment hurt and she felt the levees break as tears trickled down the sides of her face. Why did I even…I'm such an idiot! Here I was, letting myself dream this woman from another world, another kind of life, would be remotely interested in me like…that. She obviously wasn't, and…and even though I thought she was giving me signals…I should have known they didn't mean anything. That she wasn't giving me them. None of it meant anything.
Shepard brought a hand up to her face and wiped away her tears, curling into a ball, nestling against the lightly padded chair cushion. It was just touch. To me…Christ, it was…but it wasn't. It wasn't real, she didn't mean anything by it. Like she said, asari use touch like they do words, and … and people can say things they don't mean. Do things they don't mean…she ranted internally, wincing as she tried to maneuver her sore body into a decently comfortable sleeping position. And I couldn't take that…it was just too much…so I let her in and now she's hurt. I hurt her. I'm no better than what Kyle said I was. Not really.
She's not interested in me. Her touches were empty, I just…I need to get over that. Just see her as a friend. This is why I shouldn't get my hopes up. It just can't work. Not that anyone wants it to. She thought, grumbling to herself as she closed her wet eyes. At least she's interested in two of the nicer people here. Though I hope she tries for Tali. They could be nice…she could use a meld to show Tali smells and sensations…it would be adorable. I'd be happy for them. I hope that happens. She pondered, yawning as she nuzzled into the arm rest, freezing as a sad realization struck her. And she really would deserve better than me anyway. I exhausted her again with the meld. Every time I'm around her, I'm causing her some kind of trouble…and I was such a jerk at the start. I need to be a better friend to her. Starting tomorrow…maybe…
As her body attempted to slip into sleep, the persistent throb of her headache merely served as a delay, distracting her from the comfortable void awaiting her, reminding her with each pulse of the ache trembling behind her heart. She knew it wouldn't leave any time soon; it was never so easy. But I can try. Maybe I just need some alone time to get my head on straight. Even though she was a better mistake than Lee…I still fucked up.
I just hope I don't do it again.
A/N: Well, that was Torfan! Hope it wasn't too terribly done. I'm kind of frustrated with it all, and not at all satisfied, despite having had it outlined for months. Oh well. Chalk it up to gaining well-needed experience. I decided to do it in one LONG section because telling someone in a trigger warning to skip to the 3rd or 4th or 5th section just didn't seem realistic. So sorry if that was a bit long and plodding. I'm just glad it's over.
Wow was this week exhausting. Had a bit of a really sad revelation on Tuesday that blew me out of the water until Thursday night-ish. Otherwise this probably would have been finished earlier. Next chapter, which I haven't started, will be much, much easier to write. And more fun, I hope. I really had a hard time with the dark material this week and really need something fluffy. Hopefully I'll mesh with the tone of the next chapter better. I'm sorry if this chapter's a bit off, it's just been a hard week, and I didn't want to sit on this any longer. It was just getting to be too much.
As per usual, I really hope you all have had a fantastic week, and that your weekends are off to a great start! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read, and once again, endless love to all who follow, favourite, review…heck, even read. Yes I give love freely :P Loving words and sentiments at least.
Anywho, no idea when the next chapter will be up, but I hope soon. Take care, all!