Author Note: ...some time as passed - not a lot but a few days...just go with it okay? :)
Chapter 32 – Mona Lisa Smiles
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Jackie looked at her profile in the dresser mirror and smiled. This was a million dollar outfit and the peach color really set off her lightly tanned skin. Just a little bit of lace around the décolletage and a hint at the swell of her breasts should have this blind date swooning. I hope he really isn't blind because then he couldn't see how beautiful I am! Nevertheless, she swirled and the chevron pattern of her skirt fluttered just to her knees which were accented by a pair pale peach pumps.
She was dressed to kill.
Eric looked at his reflection and ruminated this decision to go along with Jackie on a double date. Apparently Mona, who talked in a monotone, but did like Star Wars, was going to meet them at the Point Place Steak House along with Cedric from the Equipment Yard. Eric knew Jackie would cringe when she saw Mr. Scruffy, but it was a last minute date request and Eric promised he would pay the whole bill if Cedric showed up.
Yeah, this date was going to kill him.
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The date was not going well. Cedric was a half hour late, which left Eric trying to entertain a thoroughly not amused Jackie Burkhart and the drone butterfly that was Mona. He couldn't fault Jackie for her choice of a blind date.
Mona was a handsome woman, albeit a bit taller than himself, but then so was Donna. Mona's burgundy paisley dress hid her generous thighs and for that Eric wanted to thank her. She had practically memorized all of the cool Star Wars references and was quick to correct Eric when he said a line wrong. But when she started speaking Klingon, Jackie couldn't help but giggle.
It was Eric's turn to laugh when a cleaned up Cedric walked into the Steak House complete with a worn corduroy jacket (which leather elbow pads of course) and his own cutlery. He held out a huge paw and introduced himself. "I'm Cedric Jarvis and just in case you were wondering about my name, Cedric means I'm a gift of splendor and I'm also totally super sexy."
Jackie shook the outstretched hand and couldn't help but notice that he resembled the Brawny paper towel guy with the hairy chest, shaggy locks and unkempt mustache.
"Hello Cedric. "Jackie greeted politely. "May I ask a personal question?"
Cedric sat down at the table without invitation and replied, "Go for it darling."
Jackie smoothed her skirt and sat down across from the masculine menace. "I'd like to know why you brought your own knife and fork to a restaurant that obviously supplies them with dinner."
Cedric pulled a cigar from his jacket pocket and waved it in the air, "Anybody mind if I light up? No? And to your question little lady, these kind of restaurants only supply pussy utensils. I've bent many a fork trying to cut into a tough piece of meat."
Jackie was appalled but polite enough not to say anything in front of Mona. She noticed that her coworker was chatting with Eric non-stop, but in such a monotone it was hard to tell if she as excited or just really really bored. Meanwhile, Cedric was busy perusing the menu exclaiming that the appetizer portions were too small or the size of the steaks weren't going to be filling enough.
Jackie could feel her eyes roll as she struggled to maintain a neutral face through Cedric's diatribe. She smiled sweetly, "Well, I'll give you half of my steak since I'd really prefer the vegetables and salad,"
Cedric put his menu down and grinned, "I do adore a woman that knows how to please a man. Hey, did Eric here tell you what I do for a living?"
Jackie glanced at Eric who was still seemingly mesmerized by Mona's accounting-speak. "Um, no not really."
Cedric leaned back in his chair and cracked his fuzz covered knuckles. "I'm the guy that runs the bucket truck."
Jackie feigned excitement. "A bucket truck….really!"
He grinned that large toothy grin. "Yep, that's me baby. I'm the guy in the cherry picker putting up lights at Christmas time and hanging banners from the street lights. I'll bet you saw me and didn't realize how awesome I was."
She sat back and looked at the small bouquet of flowers that lie next to Mona's glass of sparkling water. Eric treated his date much better than Cedric. What did he bring to the table? A knife and fork! Ugh!
A waitress showed up to take their orders before Jackie could pitch a well deserved rant. She looked at the woman and started to speak but Cedric ordered for her. "Yeah…uh, the little lady will have the porterhouse cooked….rare…with a baked potato and all the trimmings and she wants a salad. Right cookie?"
Eric was speechless. He had never witnessed anything like it. Jackie looked like she was going to blow up. Those beautiful eyes were blazing and if his work buddy didn't watch out he was going to be wearing a couple of lumps on his shin bones.
Jackie stood up. "Mona, I need to make a phone call. Come with me."
Mona looked up, "You can't make a phone call by yourself?"
Jackie pursed her lips and uttered in a low voice, "Not from the ladies room I can't!"
Eric watched the girls walk away and Cedric exhaled loudly. "You can sure pick em Eric, she's gorgeous. Doesn't talk much but I like that in a woman."
It was obvious he didn't know Jackie Burkhart! "Ceddie….just treat her like a lady okay? That's all I'm asking – treat her real nice and oh yeah, after dinner, make sure you get some breath mints."
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Jackie paced the length of the ladies room. "He's horrible! How could Eric pick out an oaf like that?!" The brunette exclaimed.
Mona refastened her barrette in the mirror. "Oh I don't know, he seems like a sensitive guy because when you stop to think about a man who takes into consideration how fragile restaurant flatware is and he chooses to bring something sturdy to enjoy his meal, I believe that says a lot about a person and his habits."
Jackie just looked at Mona. "Did you say all that in one breath?" She waved her hand, "Never mind. I mean look, you got flowers and Eric pulled your chair out for you and this Cedric ….just a big block of …dumb."
Jackie's coworker scrubbed the red lipstick from her teeth then tried for a Mona-Lisa-like smile before turning from the mirror. "Do you think Eric likes me? Because I went and looked at his personnel file when I wasn't supposed to so don't rat me out and I know that while he was an average student in school, his knowledge of science fiction movies is staggering and I think that I could maybe, possibly let myself date him again but then he's not as big in stature as your Mr. Cedric so I'm kind iffy on that second date."
Jackie uncurled her fingers from the tight fist she was embracing. "Can you believe it? The man doesn't even know me and orders my food? I don't want a half dead cow mooing on my plate! I'm not eating it. This date is so over."
Mona tilted her head, "Just give it a chance because you know maybe he is nervous and being an oaf, as you call him, is just nerves because you are so pretty and this is maybe his way of overcompensating for being….well, an ass."
Jackie looked in the ladies room mirror and yes, she did look pretty. Pretty damn gorgeous and Mr. Jarvis was definitely not getting a good night kiss. His put his foot in his mouth so he could kiss it good night. "Okay, I'll be polite because you are my girl friend and you deserve a great date night but I'm only doing it for you….and for Eric because he's my friend too."
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Dinner was a disaster. Eric couldn't think of a synonym that described the world's worst double date he had ever been on. Mona only nibbled at her grilled fish while Cedric ate all of his Porterhouse and inhaled Jackie's while cutting it from her plate. His table manners were churlish and Eric could tell Jackie was on the fringe of having a hissy fit. When the waitress came back to see if they wanted dessert, Jackie asked for the check and declared the dinner was over.
"But cookie, "Cedric drawled, "I need something sweet to eat….like you. OUCH!" The sound of a pointy toe connecting with a lumberjack shin bone was music to Eric's ear. Partly because he was glad it wasn't him and secondly because it was well deserved. He stifled a laugh when Jackie covered her mouth and replied, "Oops! I was crossing my legs….I guess you were just sitting to close…clod."
"Cedric." He corrected.
"I'm sorry…I meant Claude…you remind me of a Claude." Jackie smiled evenly. Cedric shrugged, "Well, I've been called other things before so…."
"I'm sure you have." Jackie replied. "Eric, if you don't mind, I'm going to wait in the car."
The trio watched as the killer peach dress excused herself from the table and high tailed it out the Steak House doors.
xXx
Jackie leaned against the wooden frame of the entrance and her shoulders sagged in relief. Cedric was the worst example of a date she had ever encountered: opinionated, rude, boorish, no manners….worst of all, he behaved like a cave man over a dinosaur bone! Disgusted with him cutting her meat on HER plate, Jackie just pushed the food over to his side of the table and ate her dinner salad. Cedric slurped and smacked his beef and just the notion of a good night kiss from that beast just made her feel nauseous. She could barely wait to escape this date!
Cedric's brand spanking new 1979 Ford Bronco was parked under a lamp post. The red paint shined under the light and it mocked Jackie. He could dress up his car but wear a frayed corduroy jacket to a fancy restaurant? The windshield was clean and reflected the lights from the Steak House which just pissed her off some more.
It was more of a reaction than an action and it happened before she could control herself. A large rock came out of nowhere and landed smack in the center of the glass. A long crack traveled in a lightning bolt pattern as it destroyed the facing plate of the windshield. The fracture sound was delightfully delicious and gave Jackie enough time to climb into the Vista Cruiser before the "accident" was revealed.
Normally, she wouldn't willfully damage someone's personal property, well maybe except for something Michael owned but that was years ago when she was still a teen. But this destruction of a simple windshield seemed to balance out the horror that was a date with Cedric.
Jackie didn't need to wait too long until she saw the trio exiting the restaurant and Cedric's silent exclamation of grief for his poor Bronco. It played out like a silent movie. Mona's hands covered her lips as Cedric dropped to one knee. Eric's face was swiveling like a bobble-head toy as he tried to look for the perpetrators. Cedric grabbed his shaggy hair and the open mouth shout was muted by the Vista Cruisers closed windows.
Jackie slid down in her seat as Mona ran to Cedric and touched his shoulder in a consoling manner. Eric gave up looking for the culprits of the vandalism and walked over to Mona who waved him away.
Now Jackie felt bad. Eric wasn't going to get his kiss good night. He brought flowers and paid for dinner and Mona only wanted to comfort the "sensitive guy" who carried around his own silverware.
Jackie muttered, "Fork you Cedric."
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Eric couldn't believe that Jackie took off like that and left him alone with Ceddie and Mona. Cedric was oblivious to Jackie's absence while Mona sighed and fussed with a barrette in her hair. "Eric, if you don't mind, I'm going to wait in the car." The peach dressed brunette had said. Eric almost said "take me with you!" but he couldn't because this whole date was of his making.
Cedric was a last minute choice because Eric hadn't taken the time to find a proper date for his friend. She was probably pretty angry if she kicked Cedric under the table and Eric had no doubts those dainty toes were probably itching to kick his own shins. So instead of prolonging the agony, Eric waved the waitress for the check and promptly ushered his guests towards the door. He was paying the bill at the exit when the loud sound of cracking glass resounded from the parking lot. At first, Eric thought it was thundering but as they went through the doors, the immediate damage to Cedric's truck was obvious.
Somebody was really pissed off.
Eric looked to the left and right for any high school kids playing a prank Mona gasped theatrically before covering her mouth. Cedric uttered a keen ultra high sounding shriek (very unmanly) and he fell to one knee in front of his new truck. Cedric was pulling his hair when Mona rushed over to give Ceddie and comforting hug.
Seeing his date with Jackie's date was a clear indication this date was definitely over. Mona waved him away, so Eric thrust his hands in pockets and walked towards the Vista Cruiser where a very guilty looking Jackie Burkhart was slouched down in the front seat. He climbed in and turned on the ignition before asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Nope." Just a single word reply was all she could manage.
He sighed, "Is my windshield in any sort of danger? I mean do I have to climb on the hood and protect it?"
Jackie half snorted/half chuckled, "No. Your car is safe."
"Good. Let's go home."
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The lights in the kitchen were left on. Eric noticed that the rest of the driveway was dark so he guessed his folks went to bed early. He shifted into park and looked over at his silent passenger – Jackie hadn't uttered a peep the entire drive home which in itself was baffling. How did he deal with a quiet Burkhart?
Jackie waited until Eric left the car before she exhaled the huge sigh she had been holding in. She knew her actions had embarrassed him. The dramatic "leave the restaurant scene" could have been handled better and while throwing the rock made her feel better – it was unnecessary. She was startled by the passenger door opening.
"What are you doing?"
Eric smiled softly and held out his hand, "I'm trying to be a gentleman. The kind of guy that your date should have been."
Jackie accepted the outstretched hand and swung her legs out of the car. She stood up and leaned against the door where Eric was still standing. "Well, that is very polite of you but actually, I owe you an apology Eric."
Baffled, he frowned, "You owe me? No! I should have checked this guy out better before inviting him."
He had the nicest green eyes. Wait! Where did that come from? "I'm sorry because I pushed you into a double date you weren't ready to go on. Mona was my idea and I didn't know she was going to dig into your personnel file at wotk to learn more about you."
"She did what?!" Eric hadn't considered that his date was spying on him. Actually, in a kinky kind of way it was flattering but still, he needed to win this apology argument. "I'm sorry because I should have told you I wasn't ready to date strangers." He looked down and the peach blouse was touching his chest – he hadn't realized they were standing so close to each other and oh my god, she was wearing that honeysuckle and vanilla scent that made his stomach clench!
Jackie looked up and the moonlight made her eyes sparkle like the stars and Eric was just mesmerized. It wasn't planned and it just seemed like the most natural thing to do. Eric simply tipped her chin and Jackie closed her eyes as he gently pressed his lips to her soft ones. The taste of her butterscotch lip gloss was nice but when she kissed him back, that was a bonus! He slid his left hand into her hair and cupped the back of her head while he felt Jackie's palm press against his waist. Even although they weren't actually in a lover's embrace, it was still the most intimate gesture he could ever remember experiencing.
The kiss was broken slowly and unhurriedly with both pair of lips pleasantly surprised at the experience. Jackie touched her mouth with shaky fingers, "Wow." She hadn't expected Eric Forman to be a great kisser!
"Me too." Eric replied, his voice low enough to make her blood pump a little harder than she expected.
Pushing her hair over her shoulder, Jackie eased away from the car. This was going to be awkward. She actually liked Eric's kiss. What to do! "Ummm….I'll….we'll talk later…okay?
Eric closed his eyes as a waft of honeysuckle passed by. "Yeah…okay…let's do that." His voice went up an octave on the last word but he wasn't embarrassed. He kissed Jackie Burkhart!
But what was going to happen next?
Mona who?
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