Breakfast was tasty. It had been nice to spend time with Faridah and Heather before they all had to return to their duties; Shepard needing to return earlier than the other two, who had planned to spend the rest of the morning together. She was surprised that very little was mentioned about her visit with Liara, and was pleased that she wouldn't have to undergo more interrogation. She wasn't sure she could handle it.
As Shepard strolled into the Normandy, taking a right toward the CIC, her mind slipped to the previous night and her decision. Red flags and blaring mental alarms had been going off over her minor attempt at apologizing, but she couldn't help but feel somewhat positive, even if just faintly. I mean, she liked the food, and…she seemed alright with my apology, and she…hugged me. I mean, there's nothing in her reaction that says she likes me…at least, that way, but…even if there isn't, I do like being around her. She's good company, I guess. And…and she really doesn't seem to be manipulating me…at least I don't think…so it's not like I'll be duped into thinking my feelings are reciprocated when they're not…so maybe…maybe I can give it a shot?
Shepard was broke from her concentration, Pressly's voice calling her away from her thoughts.
"Commander, Captain Anderson has tried to contact you twice this morning. Would you like me to make him aware you're back aboard the ship?" she heard the navigator ask.
She shook her head and offered the older man a smile. "It's alright. I'll change and then give him a call right after. Thanks for notifying me, Pressly." She said, continuing downstairs to the mess. Shepard knew she was in no state to address Anderson; Faridah had demanded she wear something other than her casual blues to breakfast, and she wasn't about to deny her friend. But there's no way I'm going to meet Anderson wearing a hoodie and jeans, and with my hair down.
She strolled past the others in the CIC and down the stairs, giving casual salutes when necessary. Shepard's feet slowed to a halt as she went to take a shortcut through the mess hall, and found Chakwas with a cinnamon bun in her hand. She shared! That's really nice of her…or maybe she didn't like them as much as she seemed to…aw, quit it Shep. Stop being an insecure dolt!
"Top of the mornin' to you, Doc." Shepard said, as she moved to sit on the side of the table.
"Good morning, Shepard. Looking rather insubordinate today…is that hair regulation?" Chakwas asked cheekily, looking her up and down.
"Nah, but I'm a Spectre, and apparently this is one of the perks of authority." Shepard said, grinning, as she pointed to the gooey bun in the doctor's hand. "I take it Liara shared?"
Chakwas smiled widely, and gave a small laugh. "Yes, she came out earlier and passed a few of these around. I thought Ashley had died and gone to heaven, by her expression." The doctor laughed, giving Shepard a smug grin. "I can't help but imagine where she got those. She certainly didn't bake them herself."
Shepard just gave a shy shrug, her lips curling up slightly into a smile. "I'm sure it will be a great mystery, Karin."
"Well, if you ever do find the culprit, tell her to make another batch or two." Chakwas noted, quite amused. "And tell her that the lucky crew members, especially Liara, are very appreciative. Now, speaking of Liara…" Chakwas finished, peeking over Shepard's shoulder.
Liara? Shepard thought, freezing in place momentarily, a light, warm wave of emotions flowing through her. What do I say? What do I do? I…just focus Shepard. She's been out and about more often lately, it doesn't mean she wants to see you…it doesn't mean you should be feeling like this…she mused, her heart flipping with anxiety. Christ, you just gave her some food, that's it, it was nothing, just…just…
Shepard turned her head to where Chakwas was looking, her heart sinking at the sight of Shiala, pacing nervously. Just stop this foolish dreaming, Shepard. This is reality, and we all know how that works.
"Shiala?" Shepard called out, the asari nearly tripping over her own feet as her head spun in Shepard's direction. "Come here."
Shiala obediently followed the command, coming to a stop a foot or two from the commander. Shepard gave her a good look over; the asari seemed to have been lacking sleep, and was certainly anxious about something.
"What's up?" Shepard asked simply, as Shiala's eyes darted toward the med-bay.
"It's nothing." Shiala answered tersely, though Shepard knew better. It wasn't often that the asari visited the crew deck, and she was clearly avoiding explaining her nervous behavior. Well, I suppose now is better than ever.
"Let me make it clear for you…pacing near the med bay like a wild beast is not going to win you any points with me, Shiala." Shepard noted, a steely tone in her voice as she gestured the commando to follow her to the nearby lockers. "We've been keeping tabs on you, checking up on you. Done a few sit down question and answer periods. Those have gone well, have they not?"
Shiala's eyes rose to Shepard's, the asari's determination present, her nerves now settled. "I can hope they have." She answered, simply. Shepard popped open the top of one of the lockers slightly and gave the commando a cursory glance.
"Imagine there was water in that locker. Some would be spilling out right now, right?" Shepard asked, drawing a confused nod from the asari. "Now imagine that water is my trust that you're not indoctrinated."
Shepard barely had time to spin away as Shiala's hand shot out, slamming the locker shut, panic flitting through the asari's eyes for half a second. It was all Shepard needed, but she pressed, anyway.
"What's up?" Shepard reiterated, watching Shiala lean somberly up against the lockers. "You nervous because you're indoctrinated?" she added, knowing it would probe the asari into action. Sure enough, the commando's flinty eyes narrowed at her.
"I'm not…I wasn't pacing because I was indoctrinated…Goddess!" Shiala spoke out in frustration. "I just…why are you even asking? Is this a game to you?"
The accusation stung slightly, not expecting the asari to lash out. Shepard stepped up to the commando, resting a hand on her shoulder and taking a firm hold. "Liara's safety and well-being is not a game to me, Shiala. And yes, I know now why you're up here." She spoke her words slowly, letting each syllable sink into the folds on the side of the commando's head. "So listen carefully. I've told you before that my crew is my first allegiance, and that means Liara is the most important thing to me in this damned galaxy. If you cross me, if you harm Liara, I will hurt you like you could never imagine. And then I would hand you over to Tevos for some official torture. Do you understand the situation?"
Shiala simply stared into Shepard's eyes, remaining still for a number of moments before nodding slowly.
"Good. Karin!" Shepard called out, gaining the doctor's attention over at the table. "I would like you to escort Shiala to Liara, and ask her if she'd like to speak to Shiala unsupervised. And hopefully, Shiala here will understand and respect the opportunity she's being given, and the consequences if something were to go awry."
"And if Liara declines?" Chakwas asked, nearing the two of them.
"Then Shiala will adhere to her duty and remain under supervision as usual until Liara releases her from it." Shepard answered quickly as Shiala's mouth opened. She slowly guided the asari to Chakwas' side. "Does that sound fair?"
Shiala, looking somewhat relieved, gave Shepard a small grin. "It is more than fair…thank you."
Shepard waved the two off as they headed into the med-bay, her feet carrying her to her room. She wanted the two asari to have a nice reunion, and she wanted to trust Shiala. It had been clear from the moment that the commando burst out of the sac in the thorian's nest that she was important to Liara, and that meant she was important to Shepard.
As she opened up her cabinet, grabbing a clean uniform, she paused, running her hand across the deep blue material. It had been so familiar to her for years; it had been her solace in hard times when she didn't have Heather or Faridah's ears. She'd always been able to escape into duty as if it were all she had. It was hard, scary, to think she could have more than that. It once gave her comfort to look upon, to touch, but in that moment, it just felt like material. Christ…
She quickly changed into the uniform, feeling disappointment when it just felt like clothes. She felt naked, vulnerable, and stilled her burgeoning thoughts of the prothean researcher as she walked toward the comm room. I feel her even when she's not near…Christ, I…I need to just try to focus. Anderson needs to talk. I'll get that out of the way, and then I'll do my rounds, and then I can just…just convince myself not to be such a fool. Why should I fall apart…or even risk it…when so many people need me? What are my dreams in the grand scheme of things, what's a bit of damn selfish peace of my own when galactic peace is at stake? I'm such a fool…
Shepard soon found herself at her destination, and quickly set up a call for Anderson. I need this distraction…please Anderson…tell me something good…please…
Anderson quickly came up on the holo-projector looking a little weary and tired, from what details she could make out.
"Shepard, thanks for returning my call. I have…bad news." The man spoke, deflating Shepard a little as she grasped the control panel in front of her.
"Of course. What happened?" she asked, shaking her head, having hoped her good luck would stretch a little after Luna. It apparently wasn't meant to last.
"Rear Admiral Kahoku has gone missing." Anderson stated somberly, his words filling Shepard with confusion. What the shit?
Shepard stood stunned , her hands out in front of her as if pleading for Anderson to make more sense. "How exactly does a Rear Admiral go missing?" she asked, too baffled to even be angry. It made no sense.
"We hit a wall in our investigation into Cerberus. Kahoku has been pretty agitated the past few days, and we've had to keep things quiet lately…some of the brass have been asking around about what we've been up to." Anderson's words clearly dictated his frustration to her, and she felt her respect for him jump up a little. Getting the job done, no matter what…good. "He met with a 'friend' yesterday, and we haven't been able to contact him since. Twelve marines under his command also haven't checked in, and have gone missing."
Shepard nodded, letting the information sink in. "So he found the Cerberus base and decided to hit it? He couldn't have waited?" she asked, more speaking aloud than to Anderson; it helped her organize her thoughts.
"It's a foolish plan…he's older than me, and even though he's a good shot with a rifle, he's not in combat shape." Anderson stated tersely. She agreed, even if she understood why the man would go and rush off. It must have been something personal.
"Maybe there was information that Banes was there? That could get him in a rage, enough to grab some soldiers and rush off into battle without really thinking up a plan." Shepard said, trying to find an explanation for why Kahoku had needed to leave immediately. "Do you know where to find him?"
Anderson hesitated momentarily, but it was enough for her to get suspicious. She shot him a questioning look, prompting the Captain to spill.
"I…received some help. A contact had an operative that managed to notice Kahoku meeting with a known Shadow Broker agent. The operative managed to pull data from Kahoku's omni while he made contact with a number of soldiers." Anderson explained, hesitating every few words; she knew he was holding back information and didn't blame him. She likely would have done the same for her own contact. One that she suspected was providing the help, which brought a small smile to her face. The Shadow Broker seems to hold the galaxy in a tight grip, but the Citadel has its own central figure…. "Some of the transmissions between him and the soldiers mentioned Binthu, which is in the Yangtze system over in the Voyager cluster; a nice little isolated spot on the edge of the galaxy."
Shepard thought about what still needed to be done and worked out the timetable in her head. "Alright, I think that I might be able to speed up some of the shipments we need from Earth and leave here an hour or two early. Our ship's probably faster than theirs, so he won't have that big of a lead on us. Maybe half a day? Less?" she said, hoping they wouldn't be trailing the rear admiral by too much. She wasn't sure a dozen marines and an old soldier could really take a full-fledged Cerberus base. "Can you send me what you've got on Cerberus anyway? Could give my quarian genius something to do en route."
"Absolutely, I'll have it sent to your personal terminal. Also…we've found a minor link between the data from Feros and Saren. Have you ever heard of Binary Helix?" Anderson asked, Shepard quickly shaking her head 'no'. "Well, turns out he's a major shareholder in the company, and in the past month, Binary Helix has received a lot of shipments from Exogeni, and had sent a lot of crates to the Feros facility. We think he was keeping tabs on the thorian project, and that's why he eventually attacked it after he took it, trying to cover it all up."
"The real question is how he learned about it…it had been about a month since they found it when we killed it. That's a short window…so who told Saren?" she once again asked, not really expecting an answer from Anderson. "Send me copies of that info too, and keep your team working on it. Great work, Anderson, I really appreciate you sticking your neck out like this."
"It's the least I can do, Shepard. You're out there hunting him, I may as well be back here trying to trace him for you." The captain spoke happily. "Anyway, I had better get going. I'm supposed to accompany Udina to a meeting with the elcor ambassador…something I hear you arranged during your last visit? You're killing me, Shepard. Say hi to Karin for me, will you?"
Shepard gave a laugh and saluted him, cutting the connection soon after. She slowly made her way to a nearby chair and sat down, letting everything seep into her. She knew Kahoku going missing was bad news, but for the first time in a while, they seemed to have direction. Direction involving Cerberus…not sure how I should feel about that. I don't want to endanger my crew but…Christ, they need to be stopped. I need to stop them.
Liara sat alone in her lab, nibbling away on the last of the cinnamon buns as she researched some vids to consider watching that night. She'd had been aware of very few popular vids, not having paid any attention to such things in years; there had always been research to do, or traveling, or analysis. In a way, she was happy to have a chance to share some recreational time with Shepard, but she was terribly nervous that she'd mess it up. So far I have the first Blasto vid, and a horror vid called Eclerix 41… she thought, staring hard at the vid on her terminal's screen. Would Shepard enjoy a mystery, as well? Perhaps it could be a good change of pace…this 'Dark Goddess' vid seems to have good reviews…
A sound at the door quickly spun her around, not wanting to give away the surprise away to the commander, though she only found Chakwas and Shiala there at the doorway.
"Is…there anything I can help with Doctor? Shiala?" Liara asked warily, not having expected a visit.
Chakwas took a step into the room and looked over to Shiala. "Your friend here has come to visit, and I was wondering if you would like to speak with her privately."
The thought stunned Liara for a second or two, wondering why the doctor would disobery Shepard's orders, and why Shiala would come up and visit her. Her guardian had not made any such attempts during her stay on the Normandy, not even during regular eating hours in the mess hall, and had remained solitary for the most part down in the cargo bay.
"Has the commander given her permission?" Liara asked, eliciting a nod from Chakwas. She thought the prospect over for a few moments; she knew Shiala had been indoctrinated, but she was aware of the measures Shepard had put in place. For her to clear Shiala was enough, for the moment. "Then I accept."
Chakwas quickly made her way out of the lab as Shiala more or less stumbled forward, looking lost. As the door closed, Shiala fell to her knees, performing a ritual Liara felt unfitting for the situation. She quickly made her way off her chair and over to the commando, grasping her arm mid-motion, drawing Shiala's teary eyes upward.
"I am so sorry L...Lady T'Soni…I failed…I…I failed you and now… I've disgraced you and…and…" Shiala began to blubber, her formerly hard shell splintering and falling away rapidly. "I was so…so desperate to see you, and…"
Liara brought a finger to her mentor's lips, silencing the distraught commando. "Shiala, please do not believe you have done anything so heinous as to deserve such terrible punishment. You have not failed me." She spoke softly, noticing the words on the edge of Shiala's lips, desperately wanting to propel forth into the room. "I have forgiven you, Shiala. For some time now." She finished, pulling the other asari into a tight embrace.
She could feel Shiala shaking slightly, could hear her whispering words and doubts of unworthiness. She simply held on and held tighter.
"Shiala, do not be so sad. Are you not my sister?" Liara spoke, her words barely above a whisper, propelling Shiala to disentangle herself from the younger asari.
"I am not, Liara. I cannot be." Shiala said woefully, turning her head from her charge in her grief. "I have failed you and your family. I let your mother get lost in Saren's tendrils, and I cannot be forgiven for that."
Liara once again reached out, pulling the elder asari back into a hug, Shiala offering little resistance. "You mustn't think that. I cannot blame you for something you could not have known. I blame Saren."
Shiala merely stood straight within the embrace, arms at her side, head hung slightly. "I should have been more aware, I should have been stronger…strong enough to do my duty."
"You could not have known until it was too late. I know you could never betray us." Liara responded quietly, resting her head on Shiala's shoulder, her crests rubbing slightly against the commando's cheek.
"But I did." Shiala spoke, her words shaky and tearful as her body gave a sight shudder. "I…I betrayed you…"
Liara gently re-positioned herself, placing enough space between them for her to look directly into her mentor's grief-stricken, blood-shot eyes. "I refuse to accept that. The fact that you are here, showing how wounded you are over what another forced you to do…that is proof enough that you would never hurt me." She whispered, wiping the tears from her guardian's face as she began to initiate a shallow meld. "Now let go of your woe, I am here."
She pulled Shiala back into the hug, the commando gripping her fiercely as her emotions spilled toward Liara. She had expected grief, but nothing so colossal, and it took a moment for her to regain focus and do what had to be done. It was an odd reversal of roles that she appreciated more than ever, meeting each fear with reassurance, each feeling of despair with the warmth of encouragement, each slight sensation of Shiala pulling away from her with the draw of love. She smiled as she felt the doubt and despair dissipate from her guardian, feeling Shiala gently lean into her embrace.
I am pleased to have my sister back with me, she thought, immediately subduing the emerging sensation of doubt.
I am unworthy of such a title, Lady T'Soni. She heard Shiala communicate, which spurred her to deepen the meld enough to share a memory.
It seemed to be evening, from the array of deep purples and reds washing into the manor's library, Liara's personal sanctuary when she was hurt or upset. Reading had always helped calm her nerves or temper, had always dulled the pain of her injuries, but it alone was not enough in this memory. Her eyes brimmed with tears, clouding the details of the room aside from the colours and vague shapes, her choking sobs echoing through the large space.
It was long past the hour when her mother would return from her duties, long past when she would be taken out to the garden to sing and dance and play amongst the flowers and trees. Benezia had been gone for nearly four months, on a tour that Liara could hardly understand, let alone accept. All she knew was that she was alone, and there was no one to ease her pain after a long day of being called pureblood, of being attacked and roughed up by some of the other students. Liara curled up into a ball, hugging her bruised, bloody knees as she wept, too busy at the time to hear the door open and, quietly, close; footsteps softly making their way to her. It was only when she felt the comfort of the commando's calloused hand, lightly stroking her crests that she broke out of her blind despair, reaching out and clutching tightly to her mentor, her friend.
Benezia was gone for over a year on that tour, and I had felt so terribly scared and alone. Liara thought, sending feelings of warmth Shiala's way. You were there for every scrape or fall, every bruise, every time someone called me pureblood, every time I felt hurt or lonely or afraid…do you remember?
I do…you were only sixteen…Benezia regretted that tour immensely… Shiala responded immediately, sadness tingeing the thought as the memory continued on, Liara being held gently by the older asari, an unbelievable feeling of devotion and comfort emanating from it.
Then tell me you had no love in your heart for me when you would meld with me, when you would ease my pain and worries, when you would make me smile. Liara insisted, ending the memory. She could sense the slight waves of pride rippling around Shiala.
Of course I loved you! I love you and Lady Benezia, I cannot stop. Shiala spoke back, for the first time sending her own love through the meld, making Liara's lips curl into a smile.
I know, Shiala. You have always been so dear to me. She thought, gently terminating the meld. Offering a smile to her guardian, she gracefully separated herself from Shiala and took both of her hands in her own. "Welcome home, Shiala. And…and I wish for you to be by my side when we bring mother home too."
Shiala touched foreheads with Liara and let out a happy sigh. "Thank you, Lady T'Soni."
"Please, Shiala…it's just Liara to you. Mother is not lost yet." She replied, happy to be reunited with her childhood friend, mentor, guardian. It was a good day, and with any luck, it would only get better.
Shepard sat at her desk for seemingly the second straight hour, wondering what she could do to shake the growing tension in her. It would take time to get to Binthu, and even though they were freshly on their way, it did little do dissolve the worries over being too late. Damn you, Kahoku…why couldn't you have waited? A lot can happen in a few hours…and Cerberus…they could be waiting…
The thought was distressing, and forced her to switch her holo-piano back on for the third time that evening. Her hands rested on the keys as the menu popped up in front of her. Who above you are you worried about? Why couldn't you have gone to Anderson? Christ, this is such a shit-storm.
If it wasn't hard enough to know that Cerberus was out there, doing legitimately terrible things, she was also keenly made aware that the Alliance wasn't too far off, breaking council treaties by creating an AI. She kept the knowledge in her pocket, knowing it could be used in the future to force the Alliance's hand in something, if need be, but the fact that they were performing such experiments was deeply troubling. Christ, did they not see what this did to the quarians? Where that led them? They had a council seat, and it was all taken from them…I doubt humanity would simply be exiled if they continue this shit and the council finds out. They're not Cerberus…not yet, but…damnit, I don't want them doing any of this terrible shit. And Faridah…
Her mind turned to her old friend and her heart churned with worry, hoping the woman would be okay. Not that I have any control over her…or that I can do anything but tell her to keep her head on straight, and to have eyes at the back of her head. And to call me if she needs help, of course, but…with Cerberus out there…
The sound of her door slipping open broke her out of her thoughts, her eyes quickly darting to the side to see who was there. Seeing her new guest, she shook her head and brought her focus back to the holo-piano, choosing a pleasant, easy song to help calm herself. 'Dreaming Light' should do the trick…
"Can't help but wonder if you'll ever knock one of these days." Shepard said, chuckling as her fingers found their way across the keys.
"I apologize…was it improper for me to enter?" Liara asked, making her way through the room over to the desk. Shepard didn't have to look to know how close Liara stood. It was one of many things that both flustered and enticed her.
"No, no, don't worry." Shepard said, her fingers nearly fumbling as she spoke, finding it difficult to focus on both the music and Liara at once. "I enjoy your company. You're always welcome here… I just thought it was funny, is all."
Liara simply rested a hand on Shepard's shoulder; out of the corner of her eye she could see the asari keenly paying attention to the music being played. "Are there words to this piece?" Liara asked quietly. "It seems rather too simple for just a piano to be playing."
Shepard nodded, suddenly wondering why, of all the simple practice songs she knew, she chose one of the more romantic ones. "Yeah, and it has a few other instruments as well. I just play this to get warmed up a little." She explained, drawing a curious look from the asari.
"Playing this instrument warms you?" Liara asked, her head leaning further over Shepard's shoulder, her eyes darting around, looking for some heat source.
"It's an expression. It's easy, gets my fingers limber, gets me able to play more complex things without stumbling over the keys every few seconds." Shepard continued sheepishly. "Sorry I wasn't clear, I try to remember you're not used to human sayings and slang and everything."
"It is fine, Shepard. Anyway, I came to thank you for giving Shiala her freedom." Liara stated, her voice taking on a softer, more melodic tone that turned her insides to mush.
"It…it's alright. She tested as well as I could imagine, and…I can't be sure she's fully safe, but she seems alright." Shepard said, words stumbling out as she attempted to regain her composure. "I know she's important to you."
At that, Liara's hand left her shoulder, and she heard the asari move to sit on the nearby bed, which only increased her tension. As she continued with the piece, her curiosity bubbled to the forefront, bringing her head to turn and face the doctor.
"Um…so…is that it? What else do you want?" She asked, not sure what to say, or which direction to take with the blue beauty.
"Would…may I stay here and listen? I do not often have the opportunity to indulge in music. If you have time to spare, that is." Liara spoke kindly, her voice a lovelier song than the one she was playing.
Shepard hesitated, her hands slipping off the keys momentarily, before finding their place again. "I, uh…I was more or less just taking a small break between planning for the next mission." She reasoned, though the hesitation in her voice was sure to reveal just how committed she was to that. "I'm waiting on Tali to give me what she could find with her second run through Anderson's team's stuff, and then I'll probably look over the mission details again."
She watched Liara's head dip sadly, her teeth chewing gently on her lip, which was likely just a nervous tic, but Shepard had to still her heart, watching the slight motion. When the asari's head rose up and their gazes met, it was as if Liara had become someone else. There were the makings of a cool blue fire in her eyes, and she couldn't help but look away, blushing furiously at how her eyes alone could elicit such feelings from her. Stupid space-magic eyes! This isn't fair!
"Shepard, you deserve some recreation." Liara stated factually, her tone still soft, but brokering no argument. However, Shepard was never the smartest woman, and she knew that she wouldn't go down without a fight. At least, not until she'd made up her mind.
"Liara, there's a team of Alliance soldiers and a damn rear admiral heading after Cerberus, and I need to get a plan set up. I can't exactly put that off." Shepard retorted, stilling her fingers and spinning her chair around to face her guest.
"How long is the trip to Binthu?" Liara asked simply and quickly, her eyes intensely locked on Shepard's. Christ, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep from sweating if she keeps this up.
Shepard perched herself on her chair, casually bringing up a palm to rest her head against. "Probably about two and a half days if we push this lovely ship of ours." She answered, hoping Liara would relent, but the small, growing smile on the asari's face told her otherwise.
"Do you have schematics on the facility? Do you know what force you are up against, what resources they have?" Liara asked, quickly poking holes in Shepard's rationale.
She ducked her head slightly, grimacing a little over the fact that she was caught. "We won't know until we get close, within an hour or so out." She said quietly, her eyes darting away from Liara's yet again.
"So why would you possibly need days of planning when the only information you likely have access to is the planet's environmental data?" She asked, her voice softening a little, giving Shepard hope that maybe, just maybe she can get out of it. I just need time! I don't know yet!
"I need to do SOMETHING, Liara. Anything." She stated firmly, gripping the handles of her chair. I need to figure out if I should just not even try, or…
"You should relax, Shepard." Liara said, her voice smooth as the finest silk, as she rose from the bed and moved to Shepard's side. "Tali is looking for what she can, but she needn't be rushed, and there is little that you can do right now except rest and relax. Stressing over this will not help you."
She shook her head slowly and sighed, knowing Liara was making sense, but she didn't quite want to give in yet. "I don't want to be helpless…I don't like feeling helpless when I have a goal." Shepard said, mouth quirking to the side as she considered her options. They, more and more, seemed to be stacking in one specific direction.
"Then I propose you make a goal of taking a single night off to relax and recuperate from your injuries. I know you have had trouble sleeping again, I can see it across your face, Shepard." Liara reasoned, the final words signaling her defeat as much as anything.
Shepard cautiously looked up at Liara and knew that despite her misgivings, despite her worries, she'd had her answer for a while. She just hadn't been willing to accept it. However, simply knowing what direction she should take wasn't enough. I need time to figure out how the hell I'm going to do this… she thought, looking down at her bruised arms, sensing the throbbing ache of her left shoulder.
"I…yeah, I haven't been sleeping all that often lately. I'll get rest in a few hours, I promise." Shepard said, spinning her chair back to her desk and placing her hands back on the keys, tapping away at the familiar song from before. Almost immediately, Liara's hand not so gently slammed down and clutched Shepard's right, holding it in place.
"You…you will take the next hour to do what you need to, and then…then we are watching vids!" Liara stated firmly, though the asari's nerves were clearly audible in her voice. Shepard felt herself blush again, unable to resist the rush of emotions flooding through her body. Unable to resist looking at the hand tightly holding her own.
"Look, Liara…" Shepard began, shakily, before being cut off by the loud smack of an OSD on her desk. Christ…
"I will return in an hour and we'll watch at least one vid. Do…do you understand?" Liara asked, her steely tone faltering at the end. Shepard turned and met the asari's gaze and couldn't help but smile at the doctor's insistence.
"I guess I can't deny you, when you helped feed my team." She said, feeling entirely self-conscious, certain she was beet red from blushing.
Liara's body language immediately softened as her expression shifted to a shy smile. "They were delicious, I could not keep them all for myself." Liara noted, a tinge of purple flooding her cheeks.
"Are they all gone?" Shepard asked, earning a shy nod from the doctor. She couldn't help but laugh and smile, glad to know they were enjoyed. "I'm glad you liked them."
"W…well…I'll be back in an hour." Liara stammered out moving slowly toward the door, before turning around near the table to face Shepard, a slight look of determination back on her face. "And…and relax. What…what's the human expression? Let your hair fur down? Do that."
Shepard held back a giggle as the prothean expert hastily made her exit, and burst into laughter as the door closed shut. "Hair fur? That…" She started, shaking her head as she spun back to her holo-piano. "That's just too cute to pass up. What's gotten into her?"
As she pressed her hands back onto the keys, she let a thought cross her mind, and smiled at it. Maybe…maybe I got into her…I mean, I don't know why, or how, but…maybe? It's possible… she mused, deciding not to continue playing. She'd need the hour to prepare. Well, doctor, I suppose if you want me to relax, then I'll go ahead and relax. I'll let you take the lead here, but I'm not just going to passively follow. Let's dance…
Liara couldn't help but shake her head at the sheer idiocy of the two main scientists, watching in frustrated silence as they, instead of quarantining the planet, decided to hunt the monster that had killed over three quarters of their original research team. To say she found the vid annoying would be a terrible understatement. They have not followed any sort of protocol for encountering new species throughout this entire vid! Even I, an archaeologist, had to be trained and tested on such protocols, as they're important. For these characters to ignore all of that and dive blindly into this creature's realm…oh Goddess, that turian is going to be slaughtered. I am glad this is nearly over…
Just as she finished her thought, the creature popped out from the murky depths, immediately tearing at the turian scientists' plates as the human woman looked on in horror. A muted shriek cried out beside her as she felt Shepard slightly lean into her, the blanket they had been using for warmth pulled up and over her eyes. Liara couldn't help but be endlessly amused, if a bit confused, about how such a person could be frightened by a woefully inaccurate and unrealistic vid, but she felt it all rather endearing all the same. It is not as if I detest having her close to me. I just…I did not expect this…
She had spent hours preparing for the night, looking up all sorts of human customs, hoping to communicate her desire clearly, but modestly. She was rather worried that being too forward would scare Shepard off, or would send the wrong message. And here I thought, watching a horror vid, that she would….well, she is a powerful woman, and…I expected her to be the calm, stoic one, more like the males in the research. I was even prepared to cozy up to her in scenes I imagine would have been scary…to help her feel protective. She mused, turning her gaze to the woman huddled beside her. I suppose it's better this way…I'm terribly annoyed by this vid, and she's frightened, nestling up to me…perhaps…
Liara unsteadily moved her arm and wrapped it around the woman's shoulder's gently tugging her closer. The immediate response of shepard pressing herself against her body filled her with confidence and brought a smile to her face. Perhaps this vid wasn't all that bad… she thought, the monster popping up again, apparently, prompting Shepard to comically cover her whole head in the blanket. I may have gotten some blackmail material out of it…
She enjoyed the comforting embrace through the last minutes of the vid, until Shepard detached herself at the sound of credits rolling. The immediate loss of the woman's body heat was saddening, but that mood didn't last long, as Shepard detangled herself from the blanket. Goddess, her body is glistening! Liara mused as she stared at Shepard, who was busy working some tangles out of her hair fur.
"Why did we watch the horror vid first, again?" the woman asked, her voice surprisingly a little shaky. Liara could hardly believe the woman would be so affected. The slight waver in her voice reminded her of the night when she was given Torfan, Shepard moaning from pleasure from her touch, her voice holding the same character. If only I could just kiss her right now…that would be too forward, though…I have read that kissing happens at the end of a first date…
As Shepard went to turn to her, Liara realized it may be a good time for an intermission. "I didn't want you to have any more nightmare fuel for when you went to sleep. I imagined that putting this first would prevent any stress it caused from carrying over." She explained as calmly as she could, trying her best not to let her eyes stray from her face. "Would you like some tea before we start the next one? That is…if you are up for another?" she added, a tiny smug grin curling at her mouth. She hoped a little bit of goading would continue the woman's relaxation time, giving her more time to rest and heal up. And certainly more time for me to get closer to her.
Shepard's eyes narrowed, her damp curls swaying as the woman gently shook her head. It was somewhat mesmerizing. "Of course I'm up for another." She practically growled, getting up off the bed, which they had made into something of a makeshift couch with all the pillows and blankets and sheets from both of their beds, having piled many of them into a soft, cushiony barrier to rest against.
Liara quickly got to her feet and followed Shepard through the door, admiring the slight sway of the woman's hips.
"Shepard, how you can stare down the thorian without blinking, yet be frightened by a fictional creature that was discovered in much the same way?" She asked playfully, hoping she wasn't pushing the teasing too far.
Shepard spun around, making backward steps to match Liara's pace toward the food counter. "Because, Liara, mutant SPIDER creatures are scarier than slimy plant thingies." The woman stated quite seriously, shaking her hand in the air for emphasis.
Out of the corner of her eyes, Liara spotted Tali peek out from behind the mess area's separator wall, visibly shaking, her head scanning around the area frantically. "Spiders?" the quarian asked simply, clearly terrified.
Shepard turned to face Tali and took a step toward her, reaching out a hand, despite the distance between them. "Tali…tell Liara that spiders are scary." Shepard nearly pleaded, her tone deathly serious. Were it not Shepard, Liara felt she would have been laughing loudly at their absurd reactions, but instead merely went to the counter and began preparing tea, suppressing her laughter as best as she could.
"Liara." She heard Tali call out, drawing her gaze to the quarian, who seemed to be shaking even more, but attempting to steady herself. "Spiders are SCARY." The quarian said slowly, pounding a fist into her palm at the last word for emphasis. She simply rolled her eyes and continued brewing the tea, ignoring her two friends as they both discussed the terrifying nature of spiders.
Instead, her mind was drawn to an earlier moment, when she had arrived to begin the vid marathon, catching Shepard slipping on one of the sleeveless tops that Liara was quite fond of; Shepard's curly hair fur looking slightly more defined and thicker than before, a look that she felt suited her. And she smelled different…much sweeter…I fear it may be another food, and perhaps I might be able to get away with a little nibble…no, Liara. Remain calm and patient, she…she has not shown signs that…hrm…
Memories throughout the vid returned to her silencing her doubts momentarily, recalling all of the vulnerable positions the woman had been in, all of the viewing angles she had provided her. All of the gentle touches at the start, which led to her grasping my hand, my arm, my body…she is clearly more comfortable with me and…Goddess, those shorts she's wearing leave little to the imagination! It is as if she wants me to stare! Especially with her glistening…am I supposed to simply look away? She thought, glancing over at Shepard, who was having an animated conversation with her quarian friend. The woman practically glowed under the mess-hall lighting. They are close, are they not? Perhaps…perhaps I have made enough progress tonight…perhaps it may help her rest to include Tali…
Finishing the batch of tea, she poured out two cups and carried them toward the others. "The tea is ready, Shepard." She stated, smiling at the commander before turning to face the quarian. "Tali, would you like to join us?"
That Shepard's body tensed up didn't go unnoticed, and Liara swore to determine the cause of it sooner than later. "Oh! Um…no thank you. I mean, I appreciate the offer but….uh…I have other plans. Maybe another time though, I love watching vids!" Tali rambled nervously, wringing her hands as she slunk away slowly.
"Oh…well, then. I hope you have a pleasant night, Tali." She said with a smile, guiding Shepard back to the room, taking sips from her delightful brew. Immediately, she noticed a change in the woman; Shepard was stiffer, more distant, more tense. When they sat down, Shepard sat a fair bit further away than she had before. Liara glanced back at the door as a realization came to her. No…Shepard…she is interested in Tali? She thought, the mere idea shooting a terrible ache through her chest. They, I admit, have been quite close…I had not imagined…
Liara turned her gaze back to Shepard, who looked as if she had mentally checked out. In that moment, her sadness transformed into determination. No…Shepard, I am sorry, but you may find that I will not give in so easily. She mused, pulling her gloves off slowly and drinking the rest of her tea. You may not desire me tonight…but you will not be desiring her.
"What vid would you prefer to watch next?" Liara asked playfully, resting on her side, her head inches from the woman's thigh.
Shepard was more unresponsive that Liara had hoped. "I don't really care, pick one." The woman said flatly, still seemingly distant.
"Well…after how terrible the last vid was, I suppose you do owe me…even if your company has been rather pleasing." Liara added, using her omni-tool to select the mystery vid she'd picked out earlier in the day.
"This one is called 'Dark Goddess'…it is supposed to be rather interesting. A mystery of sorts." Liara continued, moving to a sitting position directly beside Shepard, a plan forming in her mind.
"I take it the asari made it?" Shepard asked, entirely lacking enthusiasm as she downed her entire cup of tea.
"Shepard, your lack of enthusiasm wounds me. I hope you realize that we asari can be rather intriguing." She said, practically purring into Shepard's ear. That, she noticed, managed to crack through the woman's newly formed barrier, noticing Shepard's breathing hasten slightly, her cheeks flushing, the tiny hairs on her arms standing on end as the skin formed what her research had called 'goosebumps' Good…welcome back, Shepard.
"Uh…I…I'll give…um…right." Shepard stammered out, her eyes darting back and forth between Liara beside her, and the screen ahead.
Liara kept close proximity through the opening credits, eagerly breathing in the woman's neck, brushing shoulders in feeble, fake attempts to 'get more comfortable'. As the vid's opening scene began, she acted out her best shudder, drawing Shepard's attention momentarily. "It's chilly in here."
Almost instantaneously, Shepard was there draping a warm, purple blanket over her shoulders. She gave the woman a kind smile and leaned softly against her. Minutes passed and quickly, Shepard's attention was entirely drawn to the vid, enraptured by the characters and the plot. Good…yes… she thought pulling the blanket a little tighter as she slowly moved to rest her head on Shepard's shoulder. The woman gave a cursory glance, but didn't pay much attention, returning her attention back to the screen, giving Liara enough time to execute her plan. It had been years since she had faked sleep, having perfected a soft little snoring sound in order to get out of escapades to the clubs and bars by Serrice University with her peers. Feeling quite clever, she let out the sound, cuddling up against Shepard and half-rolling onto the woman, her head resting softly on her chest.
"What the…" she heard escape Shepard's mouth, her body tensing slightly, but soon relaxing again. "Christ."
Liara simply nuzzled her head against the woman, enjoying the feeling of her hair fur tickling her crests. She felt Shepard's heartbeat rise, and heard what she imagined were curse words that her translator didn't catch, whispered under her breath. Remaining determined, she pressed a little further onto the woman.
Suddenly, she felt herself being lowered, noticing from the sounds that the woman was repositioning the cushiony wall they had created, pushing it further back so they could lay down. It brought a sly smile to her face, realizing that Shepard was laying them both down, rather than simply repositioning her body alone. It was then that she realized the flaw in her plan; she'd initially wanted to fake sleep and wake up on Shepard's lap, but she couldn't help but feel immensely comfortable cuddling with the woman. Perhaps I can delay the whole waking up part…the vid is nearly two hours long…
Stealing a glance as Shepard twisted slightly, she noticed her reaching for a single pillow and realized that perhaps she needed to take some action. Shutting her eyes, she snaked her arms lazily around the woman, gently embracing her around her chest and shoulders. She felt the hot breath of the woman's sigh across her forehead, and a few more hesitantly spoken words she couldn't understand. For a moment, Liara's determination slipped, wondering if perhaps she was making the woman too uncomfortable. For a moment, she abandoned her plan. I...may have made a mistake…oh Liara!
Lifting her head groggily, eyes half lidded, she gave a small wordless moan and raised her gaze to Shepard's face, who quickly realized she was 'waking'.
"What…?" she asked, quickly cut off as Shepard's hand found her crests and began stroking them softly. Liara couldn't contain the hum of contentment from the gesture, enjoying the woman's touch. "Shep…the vid?" she asked hazily, legitimately distracted by the human's warmth and touch.
"Shhhh." Shepard hushed, gently easing Liara's head down onto her chest again. "It's alright, just stay...just sleep." The woman spoke, her words soft as down as she placed the pillow behind her head and let the both of them lay fully on the bed; Shepard's head slightly propped up to allow her to see the vid.
Maybe not a mistake… Liara thought, clinging tightly to the woman, entangling her legs around Shepard's to ensure the commander couldn't escape easily, and giving her a little more of the contact she craved. Slowly she let her body travel up the woman, her arms snaking around Shepard's neck and shoulders as her head rested in its crook, letting her breathe in the sweet scent freely as more of the woman's hair fur curtained her head. She is very comfortable…Liara thought, letting out another pleased murmur as Shepard continued stroking her crests. Especially when she does that…Goddess!
Just as Liara felt soothed and at peace, the hand on her crests left, prompting Liara to instinctually nuzzle further against Shepard's neck, her lips brushing softly against the tender skin, taking advantage of the moment to plant a light kiss.
"Holy shit…" Shepard noted as a shiver ran through her body, her words barely louder than breaths, but fortunately, Liara was rather close by to hear them. She felt even more fortunate as an arm found its way around her, hugging her body against Shepard's. Liara felt her breath catch for a moment, surprised at the gesture, and Shepard responded immediately, hushing her still again. "It's okay, you're okay…you're…Christ, you're better than okay. So much better, so just sleep."
She smiled at the words, feeling her heart leap and flip from the minor confession, humming in appreciation as she sunk into the woman's embrace.
For a while, Liara lost track of time, feeling so comfortable and peaceful from the result of her trickery. It was only the constantly repeating music from the vid's menu that lured her back to full consciousness, realizing the vid had long been over. Goddess…did I actually fall asleep? She wondered, feeling something firm against her forehead. Opening her eyes she saw the sleeping face of Commander Shepard, strands of hair fur between them, her slow, hot breath on her cheeks. I didn't fall asleep…WE feel asleep. I…I had expected to 'wake', and slowly seduce her, perhaps, but…perhaps this is better?
She lay in the woman's strong arms for a time, letting her leg trail gently up and down one of Shepard's, enjoying the sensation. I could get used to this…though I mustn't think too far ahead…if she is interested in Tali, I have much work to be done…
When she finally realized she'd be better off leaving, she took a few minutes to disentangle herself from the woman, smiling as Shepard reached out for her in her sleep. If only…but if I know you…you would not enjoy waking to such a surprise. She thought, placing a pillow in her place, feeling satisfied as the woman clutched it tightly and remained still. It was a puzzling revelation. She…is she not normally a fitful sleeper? Heather told me as much before…and I have seen as much…yet when she was holding me, she didn't move an inch… she mused, smiling brightly at the notion that she helped still the commander's nerves.
Liara took the time to cover the woman with blankets, hoping she would make the most of what seemed like it might have been her first restful sleep in a while. She looked over the woman, realizing that over a small period of time, she had learned a few new things about the woman; things that only seemed to make her more interesting. I think that if we watched another horror vid…I may just take advantage of her next time…Goddess…
Spotting a datapad near the woman's holo-piano, a small idea came to mind. Liara, grinning like an idiot, typed away on the device and left it by the terminal, which she shut off, seeing as the vid was quite over. She checked over her message twice to ensure its clarity.
Shepard, I had a wonderful night. I hope that we can do this again, and I promise I will not fall asleep the next time. I hope you slept well, and I would very much wish to see you for morning meditation.
Enjoying her message, she turned and walked back over to the bed and knelt by the sleeping woman. Feeling a little brave, perhaps due to the sleepy haze or newfound confidence, she kissed two of her own fingers and gently pressed them to Shepard's cheek, giving the woman one last caress before she left, sighing as the curly-maned woman leant into her touch.
"Good night, Shepard." Liara whispered softly into her ear, as she collected some unused pillows and blankets and returned with them to her cot in the lab, unable to wipe the smile off of her face. It was a good night.
A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long! Seriously, I don't know what happened :\ I blame the cold weather for my lack of production. Not fun typing when fingers are chilly.
So yes, video session is over (Reviewer "D'Awwww", I promise a blasto vid watching scene is in the future…just a bit of a wait, but I think it'll be worth it!), and Binthu is on its way :D Hooray!
Anywho, it's late and I need sleepytimes. SO I will hit the sack! Major thanks go out to all of you who have been reading, and following my stories, and who have been reviewing :) I wub you all :3
Hope your Sundays are fantastic! I'll be spending most of it on Firefly and pen and paper stuff, so I hope you find as much enjoyment as I will :)
Night!
EDIT: In my sleepy haze last night, forgot to add that the wonderful Bebus came up with the idea of Shep taking to the term "hair fur". :P If you haven't read Bebus' work, you really, really should!