Chapter 22: Placing blame

8pm - Hayden Residence

'Where could she be?' Lorelai sat beside Carmen on the couch in the living room, a pot of coffee on a tray in front of them. She leaned forward on her crossed knees and sighed into the palm of her hand.
'Are you sure you don't want me to call Mr. Hayden?' Carmen asked softly. Lorelai shook her head, then with a burst of inpatients, that had the older woman jumping in surprise, she slammed her mug down, not even pausing when coffee sloshed out of it and onto the silver tray. She paced back and forth in front of the fire place and drug a hand through her hair. 'I wish she would just call or something!' Tears fell down her cheeks leaving tracks in her make-up. 'What if she's hurt?' She spun to Carmen with wide eyes filled with fright. 'She could – Oh God Carmen she could be – what if she's' Her body began to shake uncontrollably and she fell against the older women without a thought as she walked over to embrace her. They both jumped when the front door opened and slammed. Lorelai made a dash for it and almost collided with Colin as he came into view. Her eye's searched his frantically for any signs that he'd found her, when he shook his head she deflated. The room was silent for awhile, nobody knowing what was supposed to happen next. A knock on the patio door is what broke the silence, hope filling her chest, Lorelai spun just as Tristan entered. She faltered for a brief second then saw his Mother enter almost uncomfortably behind him. It took her a second to notice the condition of Tristan's appearance, his face and clothes were dirty- she had a flash of a memory, a ten year old Chris and Tristan running in from that same door, completely filthy as they looked up at her with wide apologetic eyes. His eye's were red as if he'd just finished crying. 'Tristan, what happened to you?' She watched him exchange a look with his Mom before she nudged him forward. 'What is it? Is it Rory? Do you know where she is?' Panic filled her chest and she put her hand over her heart as it began to pound against her rib cage.
Nervously he took a step toward her and shook his head. 'I don't know.' Colin came to a stop beside Lorelai and gave him a questioning look. Tristan drug his hands over his face. 'She text me when I was at school, asked me to get to the park as soon as possible. So I went and' He broke off and with a plea in his eyes, looked back at his Mom. Charlotte came to stand beside him and placed her hand on his shoulder. 'You need to finish Tristan.' With a sigh he sat down and rubbed his hands over his face again, praying that he would wake himself up and everything would have just been a nightmare. 'She was acting … strange. Talking faster then usual. She told me what happened with Doctor Kellerman and she just kept saying I'm sorry I'm sorry. I uh, I told her we should sit down and she starts talking about how … she doesn't need to go back to rehab, she doesn't want to be away from me.' He could see the confused looks on everyone's faces but he just pushed on. 'I told her I didn't want to be away from her either but before I could finish she cut me off, said no that's it no buts. And then … she said that she knew a way we could be together, she wanted to runaway.' Charlotte's eye's widened. 'I told her we couldn't and that what she was talking about was insane... she got – weird. Saying that I don't want to be with her and that I don't love her. And that's not true! I told her it's not and she knows it.' He sounded as if he were chiding himself. 'She said something again about rehab and I tried to explain to her that it wouldn't be the same this time, because we'd all be here for her, and after a little while she agreed. We were going to get something to eat and then come talk to you.' He gestured to Lorelai. The end of the story struggled to come out. 'She uh … she said she just wanted to clean up first so I watched her walk over to the bathroom,' He figured he didn't need to share every detail. 'and like ten - fifteen minutes pass and I started to get really worried so I went over to check on her and I uh … I found this' He handed the bunched up paper to Lorelai who's shaking hand was outstretched, he wasn't sure when she had sat down beside him. Her eyes trailed over the two small words and tears continued to fall down her cheeks. 'Her cell was on top of it. I tried to go after her' His voice broke as he begged Lorelai to believe him, and showed just how much he blamed himself for the situation. 'but by the time I got back to my car I'd realized that she'd taken my keys. I tried to call you but my phone was locked in the car and hers' He sniffed as he pulled her phone from his pocket. He held it up showing them the absence of a battery, then handed it and the back cover to Lorelai also. He shook his head and felt a new wave of tears burn his eyes. 'I'm so sorry.'
Colin who'd been completely still throughout the entire story, shook his head. 'It's not your fault man.' His eye's roamed over his crying aunt, Tristan's Mom and finally came to settle on Carmen. The older women stood silently, a hand over her mouth and an arm wrapped around herself. 'Carmen could you please call my Uncle now?' Lorelai looked over at him sharply, without flinching he sat down beside her. 'I think we should go to the police now.' She burst into tears once again and he sighed, struggling to keep his own pain at bay. 'Aunt Lore, Rory is out there doing – god knows what. We need to go now.' After a brief second she nodded and looked over at Tristan. 'I'll need you to come, they'll want to talk to you.' She looked up at Charlotte. ' If it's ok with you?'
Charlotte sighed in sympathy and held her hands out to help b ring Lorelai to her feet. 'Of course it is.' She wrapped her arm's around her. 'We're going to get her back. It'll be ok.'
Nodding Lorelai pulled away. 'OK. Just uh … give me a second, I need to um' She knotted her fingers in her hair, looking around aimlessly. 'I need to just' Her gaze settled on Carmen and she sighed. 'I'll call Christopher.' The older women nodded. Lorelai took the phone from the table beside the couch and walked quietly out of the room.
Colin rose and gestured to Tristan. 'You got a spare key?'
'Yea somewhere.'
'Good go change and uh, I'll take you to get your car after we leave the police station.' Once Tristan and his Mother were gone, Colin fell onto the couch and buried his face in his hands. The dam inside of him breaking.
Carmen sat beside him and pulled him into her arms. 'It's going to be ok.'
He shook his head. 'I should have known, I should have been taking better care of her.'
'That isn't your job.' Both Carmen and Colin looked over at Lorelai who was standing in the entryway. Carmen rose off of the brief look Lorelai gave her, asking to give them a moment alone. When she was gone, Lorelai sat on the table in front of her crying nephew. 'What Rory has done, it's because she's sick and afraid and hurting. Her choices have nothing to do with what you did or didn't do Colin. Your Uncle and I … we've depended on you more then we should have these past two years. And you, you have went above and beyond while taking care of her and that wasn't a responsibility I – we should have put on you. After we lost Chris it was … to easy to look the other way, to believe that she would be ok … we were wrong and this is one hundred percent our fault. So don't for a second think that there was something more you could have done, you did everything possible – everything that as her parent's we should have been doing and I am so sorry for putting that burden on you.'
Colin shook his head. 'It's not a burden Aunt Lore. I've always felt like Rory and Chris were more of a brother and sister to me then cousins.' His voice lowered to an uncomfortable whisper. 'So watching out for them … I've always felt like it's my job' His hands shook as he wrung them together. 'when I failed Chris I guess I just'
'Failed Chris?' Lorelai's eyes widened in surprise. 'Colin what happened to Christopher was … an accident. He made a mistake that ended up costing him his life and could have cost Anna her's. It was not your fault. He knew better but he did it anyway.' She shook her head and wiped her cheeks. 'We should have seen it, your Uncle Chris and I, we are their parents it is our job to make sure things like that don't happen, not yours. Do you hear me?' When he nodded she pulled him into her arm's. 'You are an amazing kid you know that? I love you kiddo.'
He sniffed and pulled back, knuckling his eyes in an attempt to shed his tears. 'I love you too.'
The back door opened and silently a now clean Tristan slipped in. Lorelai gave him a weak smile and stood up. 'OK, I guess it's time to do this.'

AN: OK so this is a short chapter ... mainly because it isn't a chapter I initially intended on writing. I was in the middle of Chapter 22 (now chapter 23) and decided NO, I need to back up a little bit, deal with Lorelai finding out as apposed to jumping time again and dealing only with the aftermath. So yes this chapter is short but on the plus side there should be another update soon =) ... I hope you all enjoyed!

OH! I hope you all checked out my live journal if not it's accessible through my profile. Personally I enjoy reading a story more when I can envision who it is I'm reading about ... if there is a minor character that you'd like to see then just let me know and I'll post asap! Also if you have any questions or comments regarding my character choices feel free to leave me a comment on here or on my live journal and I'll do my best to answer =)

So again thank you all for reading and I look forward to your feedback. Please give me some reviews guy's, not trying to sound needy but it is so much more inspiring to write when you have positive words pushing you along. =)