Chapter 43 Loss

Ven sits up slowly as Terra and Aqua move next to him. "What do you remember Ven?" Aqua asks gently.

Ven doesn't reply right away as he runs a hand through his hair. "It was just like Sora said. I fought Xehanort and then a bunch of heartless and they defeated me. Then-" He cuts off and grips his shirt over his heart. "I wouldn't use the darkness. He wanted the X-blade and I couldn't let him have it. I couldn't. I couldn't." Ven grabs his head with both hands his face twisted in anguish. "I won't fight," he whispers to himself. "Vanitas said it would be ours, but Master Eraqus had made me promise not to. I'd rather die than let him have it."

"Ven, you're scaring us," Terra says putting a hand on Ven's shoulders. At his touch, Ven stops muttering and lowers his arms. His blue eyes turn to Terra, full of wild fear.

"I'd rather die. But I didn't die. He came, stopped the heartless, made them go away. Darkness. He wanted me to use it. I didn't. I didn't fight. He took it. He took him. He took him from me!" Ven says, the words tumbling over each other in his rush. Ven pushes off a shocked Terra's hand and jumps to his feet. He moves to run away from the group around Zack's bed, but a hand grips his arm and prevents him. Ven whirls around as his vision turns blurry from unshed tears. "He took him! He took him!" Ven suddenly finds himself in a tight embrace that he instantly recognizes as Zack. "Vanitas," Ven mumbles into Zack's chest. "Vanitas."

Zack holds Ven tight looking over his head at the others with a worried and confused expression. He is only met by the equally confused and concerned faces of the others. It takes a minute for the initial shock of Ven's outburst to fade and Aqua is the first to speak. "Ven?" She says hesitantly and he uncurls a little from Zack's chest to look at her. "What did Xehanort do? Who's Vanitas?"

Ven pulls away from Zack and sits back down on the bed. He squeezes his eyes shut and balls his hands into fists. "Vanitas is...was the dark half of my heart," Ven says bowing his head. "Master Yen Sid said my heart was half light half dark, but it was more like two hearts with two personalities. Two different people."

"You said was," Terra points out quietly.

Ven nods and opens his eye, but still keeps them trained on the floor. "Xehanort took Vanitas. That's how he hurt me so bad," Ven says. "He took away part of my heart."

"How?" Zack breathes out.

"This bright light came out of his keyblade. It hit me right here." Ven points to his heart. "All I remember is screaming." Aqua sits beside him and wraps her arms around her. It isn't until she does that that Ven realizes he had been shaking. "And then Vanitas was standing over me. He looked at me, I looked at him. It was the first time I'd ever seen him. Then I passed out."

"You knew Vanitas from before?" Terra asks confused. "But you'd never seen him?"

Ven shakes his head. "He's always been with me. Always. But he didn't talk to me until recently. The first time was in Atlantica."

"Atlantica?" Aqua says. "When did you...?"

"When I was unconscious after killing the sea monster," Ven replies. "He taunted me, tested me. Said I was strong, but he was stronger."

"Why didn't you tell us Ven?" Terra demands. He's concerned, but he sounds angry in his forcefulness.

Ven replies defensively, "I did tell Master Eraqus after-" He snaps his mouth shut and looks away.

"After what Ven?" Aqua asks. Ven glances at her and bites his lip.

"After Carinol," Ven replies ducking his head again. "I'd didn't tell you because you'd think I was crazy. Heck, I thought I was crazy." He takes a big breath and then speaks as quickly as possible. "Keric had me in his bedroom. He had me on his bed with his hands around my throat. Vanitas was talking to me, yelling at me to let him out. I did. I let him have control. He's the one that fought Keric off. I barely remember it happening. It wasn't me doing it." Ven takes another deep breath and looks around at the stunned faces of everyone. "He saved me," Ven says with a smile. "He wanted to save me again with Xehanort, but Master Eraqus had warned me that I couldn't let Vanitas take over again. So I didn't let him."

"So Xehanort took him out of you instead," Terra says and Ven nods.

"Why?" Cloud asks suddenly and Ven turns to look at him. "Why did he take Vanitas out of you? What is he hoping to gain?"

"The X-blade," Ven replies right away and both Terra and Aqua stiffen. "And X as in the letter."

"What's that?" Leon asks frowning. "It sounds familiar."

"It's-" Ven starts to say, but Terra interrupts him by whispering in his ear.

"Master Eraqus told us not to tell them about that," he hisses and Ven turns to him.

"He didn't tell me that."

"Well he told me and Aqua not to. He doesn't everyone to know about your power," Terra whispers.

"It's my secret and I can tell whoever I want," Ven replies and before Terra can stop him, he turns to the curious group. His eyes settle on Zack as he begins to speak. "The X-blade is an ancient and powerful weapon that is connected to Kingdom Hearts. It was destroyed a hundred years ago, but I'm it's wielder so I can recreate it. To do that I have to fight Vanitas and the clash of light and dark will form it. When he was still in my heart, Vanitas wanted to make the X-blade, but I refused. Now that Xehanort took him out of me, Vanitas will be able to confront me with his own body."

A stunned silence follows in the wake of Ven's explanation. "So...Vanitas will confront you and you'll have to fight him?" Zack says slowly and Ven nods. "Then the X-blade will be created?" Zack is obviously worried, but Ven nods again and smiles slightly.

"The X-blade is not a bad thing," Ven says lying a hand on his heart. "It will bring the light of Kingdom Hearts back to the worlds, but Xehanort has evil plans for its power. I won't form the X-blade until he is finished. It is my duty to keep it safe from the likes of him."

The silence returns. Everyone is staring at Ven with varying degrees of shock, awe, and worry. He however pays no attention to their expression and yawns widely. "I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep at all last night," he says to no one in particular. He turns to Terra and Aqua. "Are you guys ready to go?"

"...Sure," Aqua says slowly. Ven nods and leads the entire group upstairs into the bar. The Traverse Town inhabitants take seats in the chairs scattered around the room except Zack who walks Ven out with Terra and Aqua. Back in the square of the 1st district, Terra and Aqua move to wait by the front doors to give Zack and Ven some privacy to say goodbye.

Ven puts his arms around Zack's waist and pulls Zack to him. They kiss gently for a few moments. They break the kiss, but remain holding each other. Zack carrasses Ven's face. "Stay safe," he says quietly. "For me."

"I always stay safe," Ven replies.

"No, no you really don't," Zack says laughing slightly and Ven joins in.

Ven pecks Zack's lips one more time and pulls out of their embrace. "Goodbye Zack."

"Bye Ven. See you soon?"

"Of course," Ven says and gives Zack a final wave as he heads over to Terra and Aqua.

"So you two are back together?" Terra asks watching as Zack goes back inside the bar.

"Yeah," Ven says. "We are."

"We're happy for you," Aqua says with a smile. Ven smiles back and they exit Traverse Town through the big front doors together.

…

Two hours later, Ven is lounging in a chair in Master Eraqus' office with his arms crossed and his eyes fixed sullenly on the tips of his boots. Terra and Aqua had explained about Zack's hypnosis and Vanitas to Master Eraqus, and now the two older apprentices and their master are discussing the ramifications.

"So does he have a heart?" Terra asks.

Master Eraqus nods his head. "Yes. Ventus described his heart as missing a piece. That piece is Vanitas. Xehanort split Ventus heart in two to create two separate people"

"How is that even possible?" Aqua asks.

Ven sighs quietly and tunes out the conversation. They'd been talking in circles and they always ended up back where it had started. How had Xehanort been able to pull Vanitas out of Ven's heart? The only answer they had been able to come up with was simply that keyblades had the ability to unlock a person's heart; an ability none of them, not even Master Eraqus, had ever heard of before.

As the conversation turns once more to hypotheses about Xehanort's plans, Ven let's his eyes wander to the open window and his mind drift to his own thoughts. There had been one thing that had been bothering him since he had regained his memories. Why hadn't I notice he was gone? Ven thinks to himself. He was half of my heart. Shouldn't I have noticed that he wasn't with me anymore?

"Ventus?"

Ven snaps back to reality to find the other three looking at him questioningly. He realizes he had sighed loudly while he was lost in his thoughts.

"Ventus, what are you thinking about?" Master Eraqus asks kindly. He has just noticed that this whole conversation had revolved around Ven, yet he had barely spoken a word.

Ven looks around at all of them before sighing again and straightening up in his chair. "I just...don't understand why I didn't notice Vanitas was gone," Ven says quietly. "I mean, he didn't talk to me all the time, but I always knew he was there. Even though I didn't remember Xehanort taking him, I should have been able to feel that he was no longer with me." Ven lowers his head, ashamed of himself. "He was part of me, and I didn't even miss him," Ven whispers.

"Do you miss him now?" Master Eraqus and Ven nods slightly.

"I...feel different without him," Ven admits.

"You've been acting differently," Terra says.

Ven looks at him questioningly. "What's been different?"

Terra and Aqua both shrug, unable to explain, but Master Eraqus speaks up. "You're happier. More innocent or childlike is a good way to explain it."

Ven thinks for a long time before asking, "Why?"

"I have my theories," Master Eraqus says. "However, this is a matter of the heart and I happen to know a wise man who has done much research to gather an immense knowledge of hearts. He may be able to answer your questions better than I can."

Ven nods and gets to his feet. "Can we go see him?"

"Yes," Master Eraqus says. "But it is late and I can tell you are tired. We will go tomorrow morning."

"I'm not that tired," Ven says in denial, but can't keep himself from yawning.

Master Eraqus smiles. "Tomorrow," he says firmly and Ven just nods knowing arguing would be useless. After murmuring goodnight to the others, Ven exits the office and heads to his bedroom where he flops down on top of his covers still fully clothed and promptly falls asleep.

…

The bright sunlight of the next morning wakes Ven slowly. Turning away from the light, he burrows deeper into his blanket hoping to fall back to sleep, but before he can he remembers Master Eraqus' promise of taking him to see the man who knew everything about hearts and he bolts upright. He throws the blanket over him off and then frowns. Hadn't he fallen asleep on top of his covers? He looks down at his feet. And with his shoes on?

Getting to his feet, he spots his shoes next to the couch across his room and his jacket lying on the cushions. He throws on the jacket and shoves his feet into the shoes quickly before rushing downstairs. He finds all the others already in the kitchen.

"Did you sleep well?" Master Eraqus asks him as he takes his seat at the table.

"Sleep well?" Terra asks laughing slightly. "He slept like a rock. Didn't even wake up when me and Aqua went in his room."

"So it was you guys who took my shoes off," Ven says.

"Yep," Terra says. "Has anyone ever told you you like to kick in your sleep?"

"I do not!" Ven replies.

"Yeah you do," Riku says and Ven turns to find him and and Sora both nodding in agreement with Terra.

Ven snaps his mouth shut and quickly gets to his feet, heading to the pantry to get some cereal with his head held high. He returns with a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"So who is this researcher you were telling us about?" Terra asks while reaching for the jug of milk to refill his glass, but before he can, the jug is snatched out of his fingers by Ven. Terra turns surprised to see Ven with his tongue sticking out at him. As Ven pours the milk on his cereal, Terra mutters under his breath, "I'd say childlike is right."

Ven however hears him and frowns at him. "Just for that, you're not getting any milk!" Ven says clutching the jug to himself to prevent Terra from taking it.

Master Eraqus clears his throat loudly while rubbing his temple. Both Ven and Terra turn to look at him. "Ventus, give Terra the milk," Master Eraqus says in a firm voice. "Terra, don't irritate Ventus." Ven sullenly hands over the jug and Master Eraqus continues. "The man I spoke of before is named Ansem. Ansem the Wise is his full title. He is the benevolent ruler of the world Radiant Garden. He has studied the human heart at great length as well as the heartless to gain an understanding of the fickle nature of a heart. I hope he will be able to explain better than I the effects that splitting Vanitas from you has had on both of you."

"Then let's go!" Ven exclaims, jumping to his feet. With a smile, he holds out his hand and a light corridor appears. Ven taps his foot impatiently while he waits for the others to rise from the table. Once they are all standing, Ven turns and walks through the light corridor first.

He emerges in the center of a large square. He looks around curiously seeing that there are multiple roads that lead away from the square.

"That is the castle where Ansem conducts his research," Master Eraqus says and Ven turns to see all the others had come through the portal. He looks in the direction Master Eraqus is pointing to see a huge castle with many spires that towered over the rest of the city. "This way," Master Eraqus calls and Ven tears his eyes away from the impressive structure to follow the others down one of the roads.

Ven suddenly feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he glances back over his shoulder. He looks around the entire square and out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw a flash of blue near one of the other exits of the square. He turns to look in that direction, but there is nothing there. Despite seeing nothing, Ven has to clench his fist tight to keep from summoning his keyblade.

"You coming Ven?" Aqua calls.

"Yeah," Ven replies. He takes one last look towards the spot where he had seen the flash of blue before shrugging and turning to follow the other keyblade wielders to the castle where hopefully he will find the answers he is looking for.

Mexi: We'll get a peek at what Vanitas is up to in a couple of chapters.

Zephyr26: I got lots planned for Zack, just wait :)

ShinyGlaceon: YAY! YOU WERE MY HUNDREDTH REVIEW! *throws confetti in the air* WOOOOOOOOOOO! And you said you love my story which makes me super happy!

Reaching 100 reviews made my day! Thank you everyone who's taken the time to leave one. They really do make me more eager to write this story.

So Master Eraqus pointed out that Ven has been acting more childlike, but there is another indication of change in Ven. Have you noticed? I'll give you a hint if you haven't: it's a change in his diction.

Also, anyone know what the flash of blue Ven saw was? I'm curious to see if anyone can guess.