Matthew had been running the words of his last conversation through his mind constantly for the past couple days. He had gone past stewing straight into brooding, and he brooded hard. He knew he loved Berwald, and the same held true for the reverse. But, Francis's words taunted him nonetheless.

He sighed unhappily, trying to clear his thoughts. He'd burst into tears at being out of nutella less than a week ago. He wasn't exactly thinking rationally right now; his hormones had made sure of that. He got up and paced a little while. He sat back down. He went to the bathroom for the fifth time today. Not only were his hormones out of wack, but the baby had been pressing there hard lately. He nearly started crying again.

Matthew was properly miserable. He lay down on the couch, curled up and continuing to brood. What if his father was right? What if he really didn't have anything in common with Berwald? He ran through all the conversations they'd had that he could remember. Honestly, Berwald didn't talk all that much.

Matthew worried about this, too. Was Berwald uninterested in him? Was he only after his body? Was Matthew just some temporary baby-holder to him? What if he broke up with Matthew? What if they didn't break up and they didn't have anything in common after all? Would they grow to eat their meals in silence? No pillow talk after sex? What if Berwald stopped wanting sex from him? What if he got another man on the side? What if he went back to his ex?

'What if' was Matthew's biggest enemy. It didn't care about logic, or what he knew. It bypassed his feelings of love and affection, and now his mind was driving him crazy with the 'what if's. He looked up when Berwald came in the front door.

"Hello. I miss'd ya while I was workin'."

"Did you?" Matthew asked quietly, his voice trembling slightly with doubt.

"O' course... Matthew, is somethin' wrong? Ya don't seem yerself."

"What if I'm just like this normally and you don't know me like you think you do?" Matthew wrapped his arms around himself.

"I don' understan'... Are ya alrigh'?"

"No, I'm not alright... I'm scared..."

"What are ya scared of?" Berwald went to wrap his arms around him for comfort.

"Please don't touch me," Matthew looked away from him. "What do you want from me..? Do you just want sex...? Do you just want the baby..? What do you want from me?"

"Can't I jus' want ya fer who ya are? Can I want ya jus' t' love ya?"

"But what is there for you to love about me? We don't have pretty much anything in common..."

"We've got pl'nty 'n common."

"Like what?"

"We both like cold w'ther. An' we both like bein' close t' each oth'r even when we do diff'ren things."

"But you can't have long conversations about stuff like that. What are we supposed to talk about if we stay together?" Matthew started to cry.

"Mattie, yer bein' unreas'nable. There's nothin' wrong wit' the' way we love each oth'r now."

"But I'm not happy. I'm lonely."

"Let me make it bett'r, Matthew. Yer not even givin' me a chance."

"I don't want to..."

Berwald shook his head. "I can't do an'thing if ya won't let me... I'm goin' out again." He put his jacket back on, not letting on to the fact that his feelings were hurt.

"Fine, go..." Matthew buried his face in his hands. He meant well, but today especially he just felt so emotional. Berwald shut the door a little harder than necessary on his way out, making Matthew sniffle.

Matthew got up to go to the bedroom, and then felt something. Something was not right, and this time it wasn't his emotions. He ran to the door, throwing it open to call after his lover who was walking down the street away from him.

"Berwald!"

He ignored him.

"Berwald, listen!"

He stopped, sighed, and turned to face Matthew, glaring.

"Come back..."

"Why? It's not like yer particularly in th' mood t' have me aroun'..."

"Ignore that, I'm sorry. Berwald, listen..."

"I'm listenin'." He said standoffishly.

"The baby's coming..."

"Wha'..? Matthew, don't make light o' things like tha'."

"I'm not..." a note of panic rose in Matthew's voice. Berwald's eyes opened wide.

"It's early... They weren't s'posed t' come 'till July..."

"Berwald, please..."

He had already started pulling Matthew to the car, and he had no intention of stalling a second longer.

-x-

It may continue.