Chapter Two
Paper Sun

The next song came on, a dark guitar solo. For a couple seconds the Doctor's right index finger hovered over the fast-forward button. Then he just decided to let it play. Besides, he was racking his brain trying to figure out which band this was. Ah well. He'd figure it out eventually.

Or maybe not.

Then the artist began singing, and the Doctor's face became unreadable.

Does it hurt to remember?
Does it help to forget?
Do you know what you started
When you lit the fuse of regret?

Ah.

Right.

Well, that was probably one answer to his earlier question.

Sometimes he really hated being alive.

There's not a reason why you've come undone.
There's nothing left to justify, this can't go on.
There's nothing left inside as I walk this broken land.

Don't I know it, the Doctor thought bitterly.

Cuz you're living on a paper sun
Blind to all the damage done.
Living on a paper sun
Waiting for the tide to turn.
Living on a paper sun,
You can't hide and you can't run.
All your dreams have come and gone
Living on a paper sun.

How many lives had he taken in the Time War? How many people had died for him, to buy him time to escape? And he would just saunter off back to his TARDIS and go wherever he fancied.

At least he had Rose. This sort of life was "better with two", as she'd put it, and he'd given up his ninth life to save her.

But even having Rose to distract him wasn't enough.

Do you still hear 'em screaming?
And does the fear make you run?
Is the anger inside of you
A gift from father to son?

I don't believe in you; you've come undone.
I don't believe in what you do; this can't go on.
I don't believe in you as I walk this broken land.

Cos you're living on a paper sun
Blind to all the damage done.
Living on a paper sun
Waiting for the tide to turn.
Living on a paper sun,
You can't hide and you can't run.
All your dreams have come and gone
Living on a paper sun.

Yes, I do still hear them, the Doctor thought sadly. So, so many . . . But I had to stop them! There wasn't any other choice!

You will discover the way to suffer,
And like no other you will feed the fire.

"Oh, don't give me that," he snapped. ". . . Oh, great, I'm talking to an iPod now."

There's not a reason why you've come undone.
There's nothing left to justify; this can't go on.
There's nothing left inside as I walk this broken land.

Cos you're living on a paper sun
Blind to all the damage done.
Living on a paper sun
Waiting for the tide to turn.
Living on a paper sun.
Waiting for the night.
All your dreams have come and gone.

"Well, that's a cheery thought," muttered the Doctor as the guitars went to the outro. "Who is this, anyway?" His eyes opened, looked down at the glowing screen. "Huh. Def Leppard. Really? Hhhm. I've got to take Rose to see them in concert sometime. During the Hysteria tour, maybe? Then again, Rose and her pretty boys . . .

"I don't suppose it would be too much to ask for a happy song this time? Or something more upbeat?"

Of course it would.