A/N: Screw the fact that I wanted to write a short story. I simply can't :-)
Thanks for reviewing, AC!
"I love you," Rose heard Jack whispering into her ear.
Slowly she opened her eyes while yawning, seeing Jack grinning down at her. The last day and night came back to her. Immediately she remembered her mother, sitting up in bed, drawing her legs closer, her head resting on her knees.
"Do you want anything?" Jack asked referring of course to some kind of breakfast.
When Rose didn't answer him right away, he knew instantly what she was thinking about. He put his arms around her, hugging her noiselessly, while Rose fell against him, her head resting on his chest. She was glad that he was there for her.
"Nothing can keep me away from you," he told her, comprehending her thoughts even though she hadn't said anything.
Certainly not your mother…he added silently to himself.
A strain of her hair had fallen into her face and Jack brushed it away, giving her a kiss on her forehead.
"But…"
Her protest was soon stopped by a little kiss.
"Never forget that," Jack finished, before getting up, expecting Rose to do the same, but she remained sitting on the bed, staring out at the window. It only took Jack a second to understand that the problem she had got with her mother wouldn't go away within a minute. Deciding to put his plan of spending a nice, amusing day with her aside, he moved beside her once more.
"Look, if you're so worried about her, then maybe we should leave this house."
Rose stared at him with a – And-run-away-from-our-problems kind of look.
"You don't know her, Jack," she told him taking her gaze away from him again. Somehow she couldn't bear to look him into his eyes. They were burning into her.
"Maybe, but I know you," he said gently pulling her face to him to be able to kiss her forehead. He felt her shivering silently in his arms.
She's afraid of her. She's terrified of her own mother.
Never having known that kind of problems with his own, Jack had trouble to make himself understand Rose's point of view. Ruth's straight, stern face appeared before his eyes and he immediately tightened his grip on her.
In a way Rose was right.
They couldn't run away forever, not only, because Fabrizio was still in Cal's hands. The much better reason here was that Rose needed her mother, even though she would never admit it to herself. But Jack knew that Ruth was important for her in a way that he could never replace her with. Rose had to see her mother again.
But, I'll be dammed; if that means that I'll have to lose her again.
No, there had to be some other way out – he thought while stroking her hair. He knew for a fact that Ruth Dewitt Bukater, albeit surely being happy about her daughter still being alive, wouldn't become a fan of him overnight.
Rose's breathing had slowed down meanwhile and she seemed much calmer than before.
Suddenly a smile appeared on his face and he jumped up, throwing Rose her clothes.
"What?" she wondered perplexed.
Sometimes she thought that Jack was completely insane. Now was such a moment. What had gotten into him?
"Come on, let's get dressed. I'll help you, if you want," Jack said in a rush hastily putting on his trousers and a shirt.
"Jack?" she asked him her eyes showing her confusion, but she followed suit, standing up, letting Jack tie up her corset.
At breakfast Ella was still sore from last night. When Grace offered her the usual tea for breakfast, she even forgot to say thank you.
"Ella, what's wrong with you?" Lettice scolded her. "Have you forgotten your manners?"
"Sorry…I mean thanks, Grace," she told the maid.
Ruth, who was also taking the meal with them silently felt sorry for her. However, what could she do? Ella wasn't her daughter.
The awkward silence hanging up in the air was almost unbearable, but neither Ruth nor Ella really knew what to say. Ruth of course understood what Ella must've gone through last night as certainly did Lettice.
Her own wedding night wasn't much of a pleasure as well. Like Ella, Ruth hadn't been aware of what would happen and like her, was very much alerted and shocked afterwards. This first night had always stood between them and had robbed them of maybe the only chance to grow together.
How could her own parents not tell her?
Ruth had never forgiven her mother for the fact of leaving her ignorant and she had never forgiven her husband for not taking it slower and letting her adjust to him first.
Ella's look, her silence, her fake smile, everything around her told Ruth that she was thinking very much the same.
Like hers their marriage was doomed from the beginning.
"Ah, such a wonderful wedding," Lettice spoke up expecting everyone to join in. "You know Mrs Avery said to me how nice you looked in your wedding dress."
She was in her element, talking on and on, not realizing or simply not caring that no one was listening to her.
"You've found yourself such a sweet husband," she added, while Ella was only happy that he wasn't there now. She didn't care a bit about being a wife or a real woman.
She never wanted to experience it again and could at all understand how any girl or woman would want it to happen. Ruth gave a sympathetic look, wanting to tell her something, but couldn't come up with the right words.
After all Lettice was her friend, right? She wouldn't marry off her own niece to someone, who wasn't good for her or would she?
All of a sudden Ella stood up startling her aunt. She couldn't bear to hear another word from her, of this woman, who had her trapped into his loveless marriage, with this man, who was so alien to her nature, so selfish and egocentric. While Lettice was confused, Ruth, who knew exactly what was going on, felt sorry for Ella.
She was angry with herself now, thinking she should've done more to prevent this marriage from taking place. Roger wasn't the right man for a girl like Ella. This was very clear to her.
"Ella, what's wrong?" Lettice looked up at her.
"I'm just not feeling well," she explained. "But, nothing to worry…," she added quickly.
"Should I call a doctor?" her aunt asked worriedly.
Wasn't her niece a little white in her face?
"Oh, no…no…everything's fine. Just last night…"
"Of course, I understand."
You don't understand anything. After all how could you? - Ella wanted to scream at her, but instead slammed her shoulders in defeat.
"I'll just have Grace to make you some tea."
As if that would help – Ella thought bitterly, but outwardly smiled. Her aunt really knew nothing.
Ella didn't know how long she had slept. She awoke some time later in the afternoon. A knock on the door brought her to her full senses again.
"Yes?"
"It's me, Ruth. Can I come in?"
Ella herself stood up, opening the door for her.
They sat down on the bed again, Ella's hair hanging loosely around and it was clear that she was very distressed. Ruth silently asked herself what she could do or say to make her feel better. She had taken an instant liking in Ella, who reminded her so much of Rose.
"Your aunt doesn't know that I'm here," Ruth felt committed to say.
She wanted Ella to open up to her.
"I never thought that…I mean I had no idea how…," Ella tried to tell her something, but the words stuck in her throat. She couldn't say it out aloud.
She was so ashamed, when just thinking of what she had done.
With a man I barely knew.
She had felt like a whore and stilll did.
"You know that's what every girl had to go through at one part in her life," Ruth told her not knowing what to else to say. She never had any kind of intimate talks with Rose, but of course understood very well that her daughter's wedding night would've been very identical.
For the first time maybe she allowed herself to picture Rose and Cal in a similar situation. She knew that, like Roger and her own husband, Caledon Hockley too, wouldn't have given a thought on her daughter's inexperience.
The aphorism about all men being the same wasn't far from the truth in this.
Indeed, for a quick second, she felt herself to be happy about the fact that their marriage would never take place.
My daughter deserves someone better.
Only a moment later, however she was angry with herself for even thinking about this. Wasn't Cal the one, who had helped them in the first place? Wasn't it only fair that he expected something in return?
Still the voice inside her head wouldn't go away.
"You're thinking about your daughter," Ella stated reaching out for her hand.
It seemed like both of them how needed someone to comfort them.
"I just thought of…I wondered what Rose would've…I mean…," Ruth stammered.
Ruth Dewitt Bukater at a loss of words? That wasn't something happening extremely often.
Outside Rose and Jack had listened to them, neither one knowing what to say. To Rose it seemed like her mother was finally showing some feelings. Jack put an arm around her back, drawing her closer.
Rose looked up at him very much aware now what her life would've been like with Cal and once more thanking heavens that she had found Jack.
"You know that you don't have to…"
He was interrupted by Roger coming up the stairs, obviously wanting to visit his wife. Like the times before Jack noticed how nervous Rose had become in his presence immediately drawing her closer.
"Ah, Mr Dawson, I trust you had a nice day?" Roger asked Jack in the most sweetest tone of voice he could come up with, while both men were very much aware of other ones detestation.
Jack cocked his eyebrows and couldn't resist answering with a grin: "Indeed, I had."
Roger feigned a fake smile back, grudging inwardly.
How come his Lygia, his property, had ended up with this low little nothing? How any woman could choose this guy over him was beyond his understanding.
Jack triumphantly looked at him, yearning a nudge from Rose. She couldn't imagine two women arguing over a man like this. However, Jack knew that inside she wasn't angry with him.
"I'm sure you'll be with me, Mr Dawson, when I say that I would really like to continue our conversation, but you see I haven't seen my beautiful young wife a whole day," he told Jack.
If there was anyone Jack found even more annoying than Caledon Hockley, it was this man. Every time Jack saw him, heard his stupid voice and saw his arrogant smile, he had trouble to sustain himself from hitting him instantly. This man was so double-faced, like probably no one else Jack had met before in his life.
Roger was about to open the door, grasping the last words of his new wife.
"…I know he didn't mean to scare me…," he heard Ella say.
How could she…?
It almost sounded to him like she wasn't happy with him.
Roger shot Ruth a look, pointing out to her what he wanted Ruth looked back at Ella, who silently nodded her okay. Only then did Ruth stand up, making her way out of the room.
"Darling, how nice to see you, home," Ella said giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Outside Jack felt Rose stiffening, yet at the same time signing with relieve that this man had finally left them alone. They had moved behind, observing Ruth closely, watching her retrieving to her own room.
Rose took Jack's hand leading him towards her room. The moment of truth had come.