A/N: Fair warning, there will be some racist comments from the otherwise loving Vernon Dursley. If anyone feels I should add more, let me know. I am not a racist person and am afraid to come off as one.
As always, I only own myself (Zie). Everything else belongs to JK Rowling and Starkid.
Chapter 4: Act 1 Scene 2
(A girl with a bright red wig comes running up to Ron.)
Ginny: Ron!
Ginny looked mortified. "Oh good Lord," she whispered. The rest of the room howled with laughter.
You were supposed to take me to Madam Malkin's and use those sickles Mom gave you for my robe fittings!
George blinked. "Don't they mean Mum?"
Zie rolled her eyes. "For some reason, people in America say Mom, while people in England say Mum. I have no idea why though."
Harry: Uh, who's this?
Ron: Uh, this is stupid, little, dumb sister Ginny.
Ginny gasped in shock. "What?"
"It's a joke, Ginny. He never said that." Zie said quickly, while struggling not to laugh.
She's a freshman. Ginny, this is Harry.
Harry: Hey.
Ron: Harry Potter. This is Harry Potter.
Ginny: You're Harry Potter. You're the Boy-Who-Lived.
Dudley raised an eyebrow. "That's what they call him?"
Hermione nodded. "Yeah, and he hates it."
Harry: Yeah, you're Ginny.
Ginny: Oh, it's Ginerva.
Dudley snorted, causing Ginny to glare at him. "D'you have something to say, Diddy?"
Harry: Cool, Ginny's fine.
Ron: Stupid sister. (Claps)
Ginny: Aah!
Ron: Don't crowd the famous friend.
Everyone besides Vernon and Petunia laughed. "What the ruddy hell was that clap for?" Vernon growled.
Zie paused for a moment before replying. "I think it's supposed to be a stage slap. You know, we should think that Ron hit Ginny."
George snorted. "Normally it would be the other way around."
Hermione: Do you here music or something?
Harry: Music? What are you talking about?
Ron: Yeah, someone's coming.
Cho, Pansy, and Lavender (singing): Cho Chang! Domoarigato, Cho Chang! Gung hay fat, Choy Chang! Happy, happy New Year, Cho Chang.
Ginny gawked at the screen before saying slowly, "What the fuck?"
Hermione and Fleur snickered as Dudley simply stated, "I guess that is Cho Chang," causing George to laugh.
Ginny: Oh, who's that?
Harry: That's Cho Chang.
Ron: That's the girl that Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year.
Petunia noted that the red-headed girl scowled. Young love, she thought, smiling softly before remembering that the girl was just another freak.
Hermione: Yeah, but he won't say anything to her.
Ron: Well, yeah, you never tell a girl that you like her; it makes you look like an idiot.
Dudley and George thought for a moment. Dudley always thought that, but now it seemed dumb since he had a girlfriend. George had also never shared his feelings, good or bad, with anyone other than Fred. But he had to admit, life was way too short. Making a note to send an owl to Angelina later, George turned back to the screen.
Ginny(running over to the Asian girl): Konichiwa Cho Chang, it is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley.
Lavender: Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!
The room (even the Dursleys) howled with laughter. "Racist sister!" George mock scowled Ginny.
Ron: That's Lavender Brown! (claps) Racist sister!
George was now gasping for breath. "Bloody hell! These blokes are bloody brilliant!"
Cho: Hey, it's all right! I'm Cho Chang y'all.
Vernon gasped at the screen. "But … she's not Asian."
The occupants of the room glared at him. "That's the joke, dumbass." Zie snapped. "Besides, she could have been adopted."
Harry: She is totally perfect.
Ron: Yeah, too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though, huh?
The witches and wizard bowed their heads, while Dudley frowned, wondering why that name sounded so familiar.
Harry: What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? What is that … who is that guy?
Cedric (singing): Cho Chang, I am so in love with Cho Chang! From Bangkok to Ding Dang, I'll sing my love aloud for Cho Chang!
"Dipshit."
Everyone turned to Zie in shock, who blushed before continuing. "Sorry, thinking out loud. In my time when the fourth movie came out, Cedric was played by a young British actor called Robert Pattinson. He was kind of cute and not a bad actor. Anyway, a few years after that, Pattinson did another movie called Twilight. It was based off an American series about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. There were four decent books, but then there were five crappy movies. Pattinson spoke with some weird fake American accent and his co-star, Kristen Steward, could barely string a coherent sentence together. I know this is stupid, but I can't think about Cedric without being slightly revolted."
Unsure how to reply, the others returned to the play.
Harry: I hate that guy. I hate him.
Ron: So, are we gonna go get those robes or not?
Ginny: Okay, alright, I'm going!
Ron: God sister!
(The four exit. Neville enters and bumps into Crabbe and Goyle.)
Goyle: Present your arm, nerd! Indian Burn Hex!
Neville: Aah!
Ron: Oh, Crabbe and Goyle.
Ginny: Are you okay?
Harry: Hey, why don't you leave Neville alone, huh?
Petunia smiled sadly, she had to admit that Harry was a lot like Lily.
Goyle: Well, well, well, if it isn't Harry Potter? You think all because you are famous, you can boss people around!
Vernon nodded in agreement, which Ginny saw. "Harry is nothing like that!"
Harry: No, I just don't think it's cool for guys of your size to be picking on guys like Neville. Come on …
Goyle: Oh, well you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds! (Goyle breaks Harry's glasses) We hate nerds …
Crabbe: And girls!
"Wait a second!" Vernon snapped. "That boy is a girl."
Zie rolled her eyes. "It's a joke! God!"
Ron: Well, you asked for it. You don't mess with Harry Potter; he beat the Dark Lord when he was a baby.
Hermione: Alright, everyone just calm down. Occulus Reparo!
Harry: Whoa, cool!
Hermione laughed. "No matter how many times I use that spell, I always get that same reaction!"
Hermione: Okay, now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone.
Draco: Did someone say Draco Malfoy?
"Oh my God!"
"That's a bloody girl!"
"Zat is brilliant!"
"Does anyone still hate the musical?" Zie asked grinning.
Vernon opened his huge mouth to bitch about the musical some more but Ginny cut him off. "My character may be a whinny fan girl, but this makes up for everything!"
Harry: What do you want, Draco?
Draco: Crabbe, Goyle, be a pair of purple doves
"Purple doves?"
Zie sighed. "I don't know, Dudley. Just shut up and watch the damn musical."
And go and pay for my robes, will you? So, Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts, are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber wizard.
Harry: Hey, listen Malfoy; Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Draco: Have it your way. Wait! Don't tell me; red hair, hand-me-down robes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley.
Ron: Oh my God, lay off Malfoy! She may be a pain in the ass, okay, but she's my pain in the ass.
"Thanks big brother." Ginny muttered, rolling her eyes.
Draco: Well isn't this cute? It's like a little loser family. Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs. Luckily next year, I'll be transferring to Pigfarts.
"Waah-hoo!" Zie shrieked, jumping into the air.
The room jumped before gawking at her. Zie shook her head but beamed proudly. "Most Muggle's think that the play writers made up Pigfarts, but it is a real school. I actually went there. Pigfarts Academy for Magical Beings, class of 2012."
Hermione blinked. "I never heard of it."
Zie grinned at her fellow Muggleborn. "It was actually developed just a few months ago this time. Classes started September 5th. It's opened for all magical beings worldwide. They have spells all over the campus so people understand each other no matter what language people are speaking. It's in Michigan."
"Zen why is it in zis Muggle Musical?" Fleur asked, the others nodding their agreement.
"Well, some members of Team Starkid actually had siblings who attended Pigfarts. I actually hung out with Lauren Lopez's (Draco Malfoy) sister. I think Joey Richter (Ron) had a brother who went there too. Anyway, some of them knew the basics, but they made it completely ridiculous. I'll explain later, let's just watch the video."
More confused than before, the others turned back to the screen.
(Singing) This year you'll bet, gonna get out of here. The reign of Malfoy is drawing near. I'll have the greatest wizard career, it's gonna be totally awesome! Look out world for the dawn of the day, when everyone will do whatever I say! And Potter won't be in my way and then I'll be the one who is totally awesome!
Goyle: Yeah, you'll be the one who is totally awesome!
(Choo Choo)
Hermione: (Spoken) Guys, c'mon, we're gonna miss the train!
Whole Cast: (Singing) Who knows how fast this year's gonna go? Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow…
Dudley made a face of complete disgust. "Butterbeer?"
Zie mockingly gagged and nodded. "I know right. That's like the wizard's version of soda. I definitely prefer Pepsi."
Harry: (Spoken) Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!
Ron: Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!
Whole Cast: (Singing) We're back to learn everything that we can. It's great to come back to where we began and here we are and ALAKAZAM! Here we go, this is totally awesome! Come on and teach us everything that you know. The summer's over and we're itchin' to go.
Neville: I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledore!
The Hogwarts graduates along with Fleur and Zie all smiled sadly at the mention of the deceased headmaster.
Whole Cast: Aaah, aaah!
Dumbledore: Welllcooome! All of you to Hogwarts! I welcome all of you to school. Did you know that here at Hogwarts, we've got a hidden swimming pool?
Dudley turned to the other young adults. "Is there really?"
Everyone laughed, leaving Dudley embarrassed and without an answer.
Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts! Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools! Now that I got you here at Hogwarts,
George smirked. "He makes it sound like he kidnapped us."
(Spoken) I'd like to go over just a couple of rules. My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am the Headmaster of Hogwarts. You can call me Dumbledore … suppose you could also call me Albus if you want detention. I'm just kidding, I'll expel you if you call me Albus.
Hermione laughed. "Can you imagine if he were really like that?"
George grinned. "Oh, me and … and Fred called him Al all the time."
The girls smiled sadly back at George, while Dudley stared at him, struggling to place the other young man.
Whole Cast: (Singing) Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts! Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends, to …
Gryffindore: Gryffindor!
Hufflepuffs: Hufflepuff!
Ravenclaws: Ravenclaw!
Zie cheered for her Pottermore house. The others looked at her and she sighed. "I'll explain later."
Slytherins: Slytherin!
Whole Cast: Back to the place where our story began at Hogwarts! Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I'm sorry, what ch'you say?
Vernon rolled his eyes. "Don't egg them on, you old fool!"
Dudley looked at his father with an expression of concern. "Dad? You know you are talking to a laptop from the future, right?"
Whole Cast: Hogwarts! Hogwarts!
Dumbledore: I didn't hear you kids!
Whole Cast: Hogwarts! Hogwarts!
Harry: Man, I'm glad I'm back!
The room was silent, before Zie spoke up. "Well, let's cue up the next clip."
But just as she moved the curser to her favorites, there was a loud crack from upstairs, followed by footsteps on the stairs.
A/N: Oops. I forgot. I also kinda own the siblings I made up for Lauren Lopez and Joey Richter.
So… who do you think was on the stairs. I'll give you a hint, Harry and Ron brought two other people to join in watching the clips.
Also, I decided that Dudley will have a witch girlfriend. To keep with the racist Vernon theme, it will be a girl of a different race. I have it limited down to Cho Chang (book/movie, not the musical :D) and one of the Patil twins. Let me know who you want in the reviews.