Peter definitely had too much to eat. He felt full - and not in a good way - and his belly was hard and round. He looked pregnant.
"You look pregnant," Wade observed casually.
"No I don't!"
Yes, he did. He looked and felt pregnant. He couldn't understand how, nor forgive, Wade for eating twice as much and not having to open his pants to accommodate a his full stomach. Suddenly, Wade's hand sliding over his belly startled Peter out of his depressing thoughts.
"Don't worry, Peter, I'll still love you even when you're fat," he murmured, pressing his face to Peter's belly.
"When?!" Peter shrieked in outrage, grabbing Wade by the ears and tilting his head back to look at him. The bastard was grinning.
"It's not easy to get back to your old figure after a baby, you know," he said, pressing his face back and putting his hands around Peter's waist, pulling his shirt up.
"You do know I'm not really pregnant, right?"
"Shh, you don't know that. There might be a Wade Junior in there now, you don't want to hurt his feelings. Right, lil fella? Don't listen to mommy, he's just upset you'll ruin his hips. I'm kind of upset too, because I do love those hips, but I'm gonna forgive you. I'm gonna love you and tell you bed time stories and teach you how to kill a man with your bare hands, you'll see. I'll be the fun dad. Peter will tell you homework is important and there is other food than tacos, but you won't believe him, cause you'll be smart."
At first Peter wanted to shove Wade away and laugh it all off, but somehow, he couldn't. He wasn't sure how seriously Wade was taking this, but he didn't want to risk hurting him. He put his hands on Wade's neck and started rubbing circles right behind Wade's ears with his thumbs. He could feel Wade smiling against his skin, and then Wade placed a light soft kiss right under his navel. Peter's knees almost gave out under him. He pulled Wade closer and bent down to kiss his head. Then he moved his lips to his ear and chuckled.
"Wanna go to the bedroom and make some babies?"
Wade snorted like Peter thought he would, but Peter didn't miss how reluctant Wade was to let him go.