Chapter 28: It's my heart, in your hands

-Citadel, Danger's Safe house

Jane folded up the pizza box and put it by the doorway. She would take it with her and dispose of it tomorrow when she left. For now, she just wanted to relax a little bit. She pulled out some clothing to change into from Danger's drawers and put them on. They were a little big on her, since her friend was quite a bit taller, but they fit well enough to wear to bed. She laid down on Danger's bed and closed her eyes.

It smells like her, a mix of light raspberry and engine oil. Not entirely unpleasant. I wonder why we never did get involved. I guess we humans see relationships differently than the asari do. We just don't have the time to waste on unions that would never become long term. If Danger and I had been asari and had the luxury of a lot of time, we might have been lovers at some point.

She lifted herself up and leaned against the headrest. The bed was comfortable, but she didn't want to fall asleep just yet.

I hope that she was able to convince Liara that I'm behaving.

Jane took out a small datapad that she carried in her back pocket, and powered it on. She hadn't yet found the time to look at the novel, and she was a little curious about what it was in the book that had captivated the minds of so many asari. She ran her fingers down the screen, now showing the front page, wondering what the writer would have thought about this publication. There wasn't any fancy decoration or imagery, just the words Love Letters from Liari N'Vara on the cover. It was simple and elegant.

Maybe this is the best way to learn about her.

Jane Shepard ran her finger along the screen of the datapad, and selected a random page.

-Letters

My dearest love, -,

Today was extraordinary.

The climate in this land is mild, and I do believe that it could be inhabited by our people with very little adjustment. It is a land of beauty and wonder, second only to the beauty and wonder of my love for you. I have already passed along data to our government, and I expect that they will send scouts here to explore the possibility of moving some of our people to this world. Is it not so exciting, that we live in this age, my love? Is it not all that we could have dreamed, and more?

Earlier this morning as I walked along a newly discovered pond, I saw the most fascinating and vicious scene unfold. My eyes were transfixed; I could not look away. I am only slightly ashamed to say that the violence awakened something primal in me, and I was reminded of your failed attempts to train me in combat. Do not despair, my love, for I treasure those lessons above all others. It is not your fault that I am inept with any weapon larger than the size of a pen. It may be just as well, for I daresay those lessons rarely ended in a way that your commando instructors originally intended. It is a mysterious thing indeed, how closely linked violence and intimacy are, and how one can turn into the other with little more than a shifting of the wind.

This land is inhabited by small birds that for the most part are friendly and kind to each other. However, it seemed to me that one had suffered a grave insult at the hand of another, and had decided that it was time for a lesson to be learned. Perhaps it was a territorial dispute. Perhaps it was over a personal belonging of some sort. Perhaps it was a disagreement over a mutually desired mate. I will never know what the insult itself was, but I do know the end result.

The bird that suffered the injury was strong and fast, and chased its enemy across the pond. When they reached the center, it dove down upon the other and forced the creature beneath the water. I was enraptured by the power and control this animal had over its flight. It doubled back and descended upon the dazed bird once more, forcing him back beneath the water just as it had resurfaced. Again, and again, it happened, until finally the other could no longer compete, and it remained flightless just barely on the surface, acquiescing defeat. It seemed to me that this was a symbolic gesture, and the stronger bird circled twice before flying off, presumably to claim its prize.

My heart broke as I watched this scene unfold, and I thought of our government and the handling of many of the social issues plaguing our nation. Is it not almost identical to this event, the imagery of a larger predator delighting in the torment of its victim, and descending again and again until the perceived enemy's will is utterly broken? My love, we must not allow ourselves to succumb to the weavings of such evil works. The days grow longer as we age, and I am reminded of how easily some would destroy the souls of others.

I must rest now, for tomorrow I depart this land and will be on my way back to your arms. I pray that your day was more joyous than mine, and I count the seconds until we are together again.

Liari

Jane Shepard looked up from the datapad. She wasn't sure quite what to make of the entry she had read. The woman was certainly eloquent, but the way she seemed almost… aroused… by the violence she had witnessed… It was bizarre indeed. She looked back at the datapad, and selected another random page.

-Letters

My dearest love, -,

This night I am particularly lonely for you. This planet is a cold and desolate place, and I long for your embrace. I know that soon I must put my traveling days behind me, but for now, I must finish the last of my journals. It is hard to leave behind a lifetime of travel, but I vow to you that after this final journal is completed, I will say goodbye to my wandering life and remain with you for the rest of my days.

I came to this place expecting a much more hospitable environment. It is a wasteland. The three moons circling the land are veiled behind a soft layer of mist, and the wind blows quietly, disturbing the sand and forever rewriting the swirling patterns that hide the planet's secrets. It is almost as if this place does not wish its history told, and it is rebelling against my very presence. I sense it does not want me here.

I am sitting outside my small ship watching the scene unfold, but the planet is not welcoming to me. The wind sears my face and no matter which direction I turn in, it feels as though it shifts to attack me. I will have to leave this place soon, -. I feel that something terrible happened in this land, and the world itself is trying to cover up the tale. Perhaps the inhabitants destroyed each other in some fit of madness, and the planet now weeps for the loss of life. Perhaps some great tragedy struck, and destroyed all the living beings and the wind and sand are doomed to forever search for clues to piece together the mystery of why they were left alone. Perhaps this planet was always meant to be a barren place, its ability to sustain life a cruel joke played on it by the makers of this part of the galaxy. It is impossible to tell, and the Gaia of this world does not appear to be interested in enlightening me.

I know why you do not travel with me. Sometimes, I wish I had spoken sooner, instead of hoping that you would read my works and understand my heart. I have wasted many centuries, just hoping on little more than a prayer that you would take notice of me. If you had, and we had started our relationship ages ago, perhaps my journals would have been less about longing, and more about discovery. Perhaps you would have gone with me, and together we would have chronicled the awakening of the universe. I wonder though, would it have been like it is now? Would we have joined, like we did that night, and immediately created our daughter? Or would it have been a short-lived fling, barely worthy of remembrance?

Perhaps it is better that things happened the way that they did. I know that you feel your choices were unfair to me somehow, but understand that the only thing that matters to me is that you chose my legacy and no other's. I care not who you have lain with or what you have done in the past; I care only that your choices led you to my arms, where you accepted me into you and gave my legacy, and my name, a chance to live on.

I must rest now, but I hope that you have had a pleasant evening and that our Little Wing didn't keep you up too late with her restlessness. I picked up some interesting tea for you at the last space station I passed. The woman who sold it to me said that it was particularly good for calming children in the womb. Perhaps it will help to settle her down so she can concentrate less on getting out, and more on perfecting her body and mind.

I laughed out loud at that thought, my love. She is so much like you, eager to escape her cage and make her mark on the world. I hope that she inherits your beauty, and your strength.

Until tomorrow,

Liari

Jane looked up from the datapad again. It was evident in every line how much Liari loved Benezia.

What could have possibly changed that would cause Benezia to turn on her and… and… I can't even say it. It all seems so surreal. Liari looked past every flaw that Benezia had, and did not hold any of the mistakes she made in the past against her. Instead, she picked up tea at a space station for the woman, concerned that Liara was being too much of a disturbance. All that mattered to her was the chance that her name might live on.

Jane chuckled a little. It was hard to imagine Liara as a baby, but she could definitely see the scientist being in a rush to be unleashed upon the world. Somehow, it just seemed so… Liara.

I wonder. If Liari had lived, would I have met the asari scientist? Would she even be an asari scientist named Liara T'Soni, or would she have some other name and be pursuing some other profession…? Would Liari have convinced her mate not to use her own first name, and would they instead have named the child Benezia N'Vara? I wonder how asari choose whose surname to use.

Jane looked back down at the datapad, and selected another random page. She was beginning to see what the asari appreciated about these letters. It was a rare glimpse into the private life of someone like Liari. The next page was difficult to read. The lettering was, just not quite the same as the elegant script of the other entries.

-Letters

My dearest love, -,

Today was frightening. This is the kind of day that makes me weep for the universe, and fear for my soul.

I arrived on the planet and set up a small camp as I always do. I unpacked my surveying equipment, and prepared the pack I would bring with me as I explore. Thankfully, I had brought my long range cameras on this trip, expecting to spend most of my time watching the wildlife from afar. Alas, what I witnessed was wild and untamed, but it was not the sort of wild and untamed I had hoped for on this seemingly docile and peaceful planet.

My love, believe me when I tell you, today a vicious beast awakened in the depths of my soul, and I never want to unleash that horror again. But what I witnessed was more than my quiet nature could allow. What I witnessed, was one of the greatest crimes against sentient life that a living being can inflict upon another. What I witnessed is too heinous to be even described using our language. But, I am getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

I climbed to the top of a small mountain, and set up my equipment. Looking down upon the valley, I breathed in the air and smiled at the peace and serenity that seemed to permeate every cell in my body. It was a beautiful place, and it was not the appropriate backdrop for what I was about to witness. As I looked through the lens across the land, a small commotion caught my eye. It appeared that this planet was inhabited, or at the very least, there were visitors here other than myself. I saw three creatures that could only be described as male, detaining one other that could only be described as female. They were not of our race, but I was too far away to positively identify what species they belonged to.

My love, what I saw them taking from this young girl was more than I could stand. I could hear her cries from even the far reaches of my vantage point, and in that moment I lost all sense of time and space as I flew down the mountain and tore the creatures apart with my bare hands. In that moment, I was grateful for all your attempts at teaching me combat and biotics. For my love, I have never felt such a focus of rage in my entire existence, and the only thing that kept me on this side of sanity was the grounding technique that you taught me. The rage and the bloodlust seemed to last for an age, and finally, when I was spent and my body could give no more, I collapsed on top of my victims, and slept.

I awoke some time later, back at my ship. The female creature, which I now realized was a young turian, had brought me back here and tended to my mangled hands. They are broken and bloody, the visage of a hideous deformity that can barely grip this pen, but she tended to them as if they were great treasures. She had been traveling with a group to visit a diplomatic office on the Citadel, and had booked passage on a vessel where the three males had served. She was the first to arrive, and they overpowered her and left the space station before the rest of her group made it to the ship. When they landed, she managed to escape the prison, but they were too fast and they caught her and…

They did not count on me though, my love, and they did not count on the skills I had learned from you. And now, they will never make that grave mistake again. The turian female I rescued is kin to the councilor, and the council sent a spectre to collect her. I have been pardoned my crimes, and indeed, it was all I could do to convince them to allow me to continue my travels and not have to endure the spotlight as some sort of hero.

In the end, they allowed me to continue my work, and I now write this to you on the eve of my departure from this place, though I do it with great pain. I do not feel like a hero, my love. I do not know what I feel like. I look at these mangled hands and wonder what could have taken over my mind so thoroughly as to give me the strength to tear down three young turian males, in the prime of their physical fitness, with no weaponry whatsoever. It is not so much unlike the nights spent with you.

It is the same blindness, the same spirit from another place that seems to take over and control my very movements. Do you remember a comment I made about violence and intimacy seeming to be closely linked? It feels a lot like that, my love. I find that it frightens me, and makes me worry that at any moment, the wind will shift and the demon inside will be released, and I might find that I have turned into a monster that would be better off euthanized. When you were training as a commando, were you ever tested in such a way? Were you ever presented with such a situation that was so grotesquely unjust, that you were forced to make a choice to stand idly by or allow the demon to come forth and paint the night with your blood?

I suppose that is not a fair question to ask of you, and I beg that you forgive me. I am unsure how you will react to me, now that you know what it is I am capable of; now that you know what I am. I am not the quiet poet that you met so many centuries ago. I am a monster.

And I will love you forever.

Liari

Jane exhaled a breath she didn't even know she had been holding. That story was the last thing she would have expected from the quiet poet.

What would I have done in the situation? Would I have given into bloodlust, or would I have found a way to detain the criminals, and brought them to trial?

Jane thought about it for a few moments.

I would bring them to trial. The more I learn about the mysterious woman, the more I think that there is something feral in her. Maybe it's because of all the time she has spent alone, wandering the galaxy, with nothing but a few pens and some scraps of paper for company. Maybe she is just too attuned to the universe, and when one of its creatures is in pain, something inside her snaps. She might have made a fine Justicar. The training might have helped her to control it.

A sudden thought occurred to Jane.

I wonder if that same feral beast resides somewhere inside my Liara…

Jane turned back to the datapad, and scrolled to the next page.

-Letters

My dearest love, -,

I did not expect your reaction to me upon learning of the feral beast that can sometimes control my thoughts to be so compassionate. I did not expect the care, with which you tended my broken hands, nor the kindness, with which you listened to my quiet sobs, nor the ferocity, with which you commanded my body. I remain in awe of the depths of our love, and I am still not certain that I am worthy of the gift I have been given.

Today was a longer day than most, nearly all of it spent in quiet travel. I am almost loathe to return to the surface of another planet. It is starting to wear thin on me, and I long to be home, preparing for our daughter and enjoying my family. Still, I have one last journal to complete, and then I can close that chapter of my life forever. And my love, I want to close that chapter of my life forever. It's almost like that woman isn't me. It's… someone else that has been masquerading as me, using my name to pen her interpretation of the world, and she refuses to give in to what I need to become. She is angry with me for choosing a different life.

My mind is a shamble, and I worry that the feral instinct in me will pass to our daughter. I pray that she inherits your strength of will, and she is not haunted in her every step as I am. She must have the strength to control the demon. She must. It should have died with me, and it would have died with me. But now, it will live on, and it is far too late to take it back. Do not misinterpret that, my love. I do not wish to change a thing, except perhaps the evil that resides within me. I would have our daughter grow to be perfect, without the vague wonderings that plague the farthest recesses of my mind. I would have her gaze in wonder at a night sky, and not think about the horrors that are occurring beneath it; the horrors that she herself has invited unto others. I would have her close her eyes and feel the sunrise on her face, without her dreams being seared and consumed by the flames.

In my life, I always felt that I was to be a stepping stone. I was part of the percentage of misery that was necessary in order that others might find joy. Life exists on many layers, and it must exist on many layers otherwise the structure would collapse upon itself. I reside on one of the bottom layers, lending support to the dark and the vile that writhe along the ground of our existence. I would have our daughter reside on a higher layer, along with you, in order that you might reach to the sky.

Do not fear for me, my love. You know my heart and mind better than anyone. I am just feeling lonely, and I grow weary of my days spent alone, in darkness.

Until I see you again,

Liari

Jane shook her head. The letters were definitely getting darker. This wasn't quite what she expected from the title.

Well, what were you expecting, Jane?

She didn't know. Liari was clearly troubled, and she probably shouldn't have spent so much time alone.

I will have to remember to ask Sha'ira about this. Maybe she can offer some insight into what made Liari into the woman she was.

She turned back to the datapad, and picked another random page.

One more, and then I will go to sleep.

-Letters

My dearest love, -,

The darkness closes around me. This day I spent on the surface of one of the most vile and violent lands known to our species. I am not even sure why I went there. There is nothing to find there, not anymore. It is now home to the most sinful and evil of creatures; all manner of cruel men and women of the universe gather there to drink in the bloodlust and carve each other's skin by the moonlight. They drink, and they dance, and they fight, and they cry, and it is a disgraceful sight. And I come here, and I kill them all.

I sometimes wish to know where my strength comes from, and so I come here to test it. Here, no one notices the difference in me. I should be long beyond these days of chasing violence, but on this night the feral beast awoke in me and demanded blood. I came here, and was placed in the arena, and lost count of my kills before they forcibly removed me. -, I do not understand what is wrong within me that forces me to occasionally chase the violence so, but it is starting to become more frequent. What has awakened within me?

My hands are caked with the dried blood and sweat of my victims. I did not even wash it off. After they pulled me out of the arena, I immediately boarded my ship and set a course to return to you. I never wish to visit that place again, but I do not know how to drive away the evil inside me that draws me away from our home. I feel that I must escape this universe. There is surely no cage that can contain me. Please, my love, you must contain me. I cannot be unleashed upon the world. It is getting worse, with the passing days and I do not even understand why. It was so seldom, before, and so easy to control.

I have one last trip to go on, and then I will say goodbye to it forever, and you must contain me. If you do not, I shall go mad within my head and I fear very much I will no longer recognize friend from foe. It is almost as a drug, manipulating my thoughts and destroying my will. The only truth that permeates my darkness and cuts through the bloodlust is the truth of my devotion to you. The only reminder I have of what I could be if I can just conquer this creature that threatens to control me, is the gentle cadence of our daughter's heartbeat.

It is breaking me, -. It is breaking me and the violence within is bringing my reasoning to a halt. You must contain me. No other can. Please, it's my heart in your hands. I pray you keep it. If you cannot, then I am doomed. If you abandon me, then I am lost. If you lose faith, then my legacy ends.

Until I see you again,

Liari

Jane turned off the datapad. She couldn't read another entry tonight even if she had wanted to. Liari's writings were starting to frighten her.

Her letters are growing so dark. I fear what the next ones would say. I hope that Sha'ira has some answers for me tomorrow.

Jane put the datapad on a bedside table, and crawled under the covers. As she lay there and drifted between the waking world and that of dreams, she thought she heard a faint voice from very far away…

"I miss you, Jane."

-Nightmares

The final gate stood between her and the Eternal Stairwell. There, between her and the Path of Platinum, was nothing but a simple silver structure. She looked around her, and saw that the planet of platinum swords was dead ahead and it was silent. The song had paused, and it seemed that the universe was waiting to see whether or not she would pass this test. She got the feeling that this task was of particular importance. This task would test her beyond her strength of will. This test would ask more of her than all of the previous trials combined.

I am getting close. This may not be the final task, but I am very close now. I will arrive.

She reached out to touch the gate, but it did not open at her command. She studied it for a time, and decided that this must be her trial. She could see the pathway leading into the mountains and to the stairwell, but she could not reach it from here. She had to find a way through the gate.

Is it locked?

She gazed at the doorway, and identified what seemed to be a keyhole, but she couldn't be sure what sort of key could fit the slot. It wasn't like any lock she had ever seen, and as she observed it, the thing seemed to twist and change. It was constantly morphing its shape, and it would be impossible for her to pick, even if she had been talented at such things. It would take a very special and unique key to unlock this door.

Where will I find the key?

She looked around her, but there was nothing immediately visible. There were no tables, or objects in view. There was only an endless wall, and the gate. She would have to turn around and search. She peered into the distance, but the land stretched for miles and all of it looked exactly the same. The endless silver expanse nearly blinded her, and she closed her eyes, willing herself extended sight.

I cannot wander aimlessly. I must arrive, and I must know how to arrive. There is something there for me to find. There is always something there for me to find.

She opened her eyes again, and once more looked across the barren wasteland. There in the distance, she thought she might have seen a glimpse of color. There was an anomaly of some sort there, some kind of... disturbance... in the silver expanse.

I will arrive. You will see me.

She walked toward the coloring, and was surprised to meet with no resistance. The wind did not bear down on her, and the ground did not slice at her bare feet. All was silent as she walked, and all was silent as she quietly sang the song of the swords. It seemed that time stood still, and all life depended on her ability to pass this next trial. The universe paused, breathless, waiting to see Jane's strength.

No... You cannot ask this of me...

Jane fell to her knees as she approached the courtyard. In front of her sat a mold in the shape of a circular key standing on a pedestal, with several parts that seemed they were meant to be filled by some sort of liquid. There were six parts in all; six intersecting slots that when filled, would provide the necessary weight to cause the pedestal to drop into the Forge of the Ages, where the key would then be crafted. She would be given the key, but she needed to first fill the mold. Jane looked around the courtyard at the six metal slabs surrounding the pedestal, each with a small aqueduct leading to the mold in the center.

I... cannot perform this trial.

She closed her eyes, and searched through her mind for the sound of the voice. The voice was nowhere to be found, though. This time, she was on her own, and the universe watched and waited to see what she would do. It watched and waited to see if she could do what was asked of her. She fell to her knees, and hung her head.

Is this strength? Or is this weakness? Do you ask this of me, because you want me to be strong and compassionate, or do you ask this of me because you wish me to be ruthless, and for all life to die at my hands? Do I not deal enough death? Must I deal more? Must I kill even those closest to me, those I hold most dear? You ask much of me, Silver Voice. You ask much.

She got to her feet and looked at the sky defiantly. This task was too great, and she would not allow herself to be such a pawn. If this was what ascension into the heavens required, then she would walk away from it now. She opened her mouth to sing the note that would end the trials for her soul forever, but the sound wouldn't come out. Instead, it seemed to her that the twilight twisted and morphed in her vision, and it was replaced with a hideous scene of all the allied races of the universe being brutally and mercilessly slaughtered. One by one, some sort of machine-gods rent their flesh and seared their bones. One by one, they were cut down and torn apart, and the blood painted the night. It soaked into the ground, and the planets cried out in pain. The universe cried out in pain. The gods cried out in pain. Jane… cried out in pain.

She fell to her knees again, and understood. She had to finish these trials, because something she did not yet understand was going to test her will, and if she could not stand up to that threat, all would be lost. Even if she walked away now and saved her friends, they would perish in the days ahead. She would not be able to save them, if she did not finish the trials and accept the power offered to her. All would be lost, and it would be all her fault. Her soul would not be collected when civilization was rebuilt, and she would forever wander the empty spaces in between life and death, regretting the weakness and foolishness that allowed the machine-gods safe passage once more into this world.

She slowly stood, and as she did, a rusty steel sword materialized in the air in front of her. She grasped it firmly, and walked to the first stone slab.

I am sorry. We will all die if I cannot do this...

She gazed at the still form of the youngest member of her crew, a quarian female on her pilgrimage. She was caught up in events that she didn't understand, and though her people were a part of the galactic community and stood to lose much in the war, she had personally caused none of the problems that now plagued the galaxy. Jane positioned the sword above the woman's heart, and closed her eyes as she forced the blade down through her chest. Her own heart broke as she heard the almost inaudible whimper, and in that moment, she was grateful for the masks all quarians were forced to wear. She wouldn't have to see the look of shock and horror in the young girl's face as someone she trusted took her life.

She pulled the blade free, and watched as the blood flowed through the piping to the mold. The pedestal shivered slightly, and then settled once more. Jane was not getting out of this so easily. She moved to the next slab.

Jane stood over the still form of one of the best officers she had ever known. The young human female gazed at her, and her expression was so trusting and so full of respect, that she nearly lost her nerve. Jane had felt an affinity for this woman since they had met on Eden Prime, and it was particularly painful to have to raise the sword and see the horrified expression cross the soldier's face. She didn't look away, though. She owed her comrade that much. She owed it to the woman to look into her eyes as she brought the blade down through her chest. She fought back a tear as she saw the acceptance in the soldier's eyes just before they glazed over and became lifeless.

She once more pulled the blade free, and hung her head. Was it worth this? Was saving the rest of the universe worth these lives?

She hoped so.

Jane moved to the third slab on this side, which housed a young man with whom she hadn't interacted much. He looked at her with much the same expression the woman had; trust and respect. They both trusted her to make the right decisions and lead them to victory. They trusted her to protect them, and keep them safe from harm. They believed in her. They loved her. And now, she had to destroy them. She positioned the sword above the man's chest, but this time she couldn't look in the eyes of her victim. A whimper escaped her throat as she brought the blade down, seeing in her mind's eye the heartbroken expression on his face as she claimed his life without even looking him in the face. The pedestal shivered again, as his essence filled another portion of the key.

She turned around, and slowly proceeded to the other side of the courtyard, to the final three slabs. The first one held a creature of war, forged in the fires of anger and directed by unseen forces to crush all in his path. She regretted bringing him at all, now. She should have left him on the space station, to find his fortune doing mercenary work or something less dangerous, something less… demanding. She felt as though lately, she was responsible for single-handedly wiping out his entire race, genophage or no. She positioned the sword above his chest, and nodded at the look in his eyes. He understood what she had to do, and he almost... welcomed it. It confused her, but it did harden her resolve. If he accepted what she had to do, then she had to be on the right track. Even if she had to face the end of the world alone, she could do it knowing that all the deaths leading up to that final confrontation were not in vain. She brought down the sword once, pulled it out, and brought it down a second time. She thought she saw the hint of a smile, as life left his body.

She stepped back, and looked at the pedestal. It was nearly heavy enough now to drop into the Forge of Ages, but not quite. She had to continue.

She made her way to the next slab, and smiled sadly as she gazed upon the C-Sec officer that had joined her crew. He was a noble and kind soul, hating injustice and hating that his hands were tied by rules and regulations. He was the kind who wanted to punish the wicked and protect the innocent. She loved him for that. She gripped the side of the slab, and looked into his eyes. It seemed to her he... nodded... accepting his fate and accepting that his part in the story was over. She hung her head as she positioned the sword again, and thrust with all her strength. He didn't cry out. But then again, he didn't have to. Jane was crying enough for everyone.

She removed the rusty blade once more, and turned her gaze to the last slab. She dreaded coming to this one, but as she looked at the mold, she saw that one part of it still remained unfilled. The very center, the heart so to speak, was empty. She had one last task to perform.

She walked up to the stone table, and gazed down at the woman who had captivated her heart. She was so young, and so innocent, and didn't belong here lying among dead soldiers. Jane reached out a hand, and laid it on the woman's brow, gently caressing the skin. Surely, she would be allowed at least a moment to grieve. Surely, the voice would allow her at least that, given the gravity of the things being asked of her.

The voice did not protest.

I must arrive. I must do this, and you must understand.

The woman's eyes betrayed no emotion. The simply gazed at Jane and quietly accepted whatever the human decided was best. Jane's heart broke as she looked into those eyes, and she choked back the tears that threatened to come loose. It wasn't fair, what the universe asked of her. It wasn't fair to ask her to deal so much death, and continue to live herself.

It was unfair to ask her to kill her only love.

She looked back at the mold, and cursed it as it sat there. She cursed the key for demanding blood, and she cursed the voice for demanding her soul participate in these trials. She cursed fate for bringing her face to face with the mirror image of her own heart, and she cursed the rotten luck that had caused her to be born into this age at all. She took a deep breath, and then withdrew her hand from the woman's brow.

I must find the strength to do this. I love you, but I must find the strength to do this, or we all fall.

She put the sword down on the slab, and turned it slightly. She wouldn't hold it by the hilt for this task. She didn't deserve to cut down all of her friends, and suffer no cut herself. She gripped the sharp metal of the blade tightly, and nodded in satisfaction at the blood that now ran down her hand onto the slab. She positioned it above the woman's heart, and placed her other hand back on the soft skin of her brow.

I love you, and I will always love you. And, I will remember you when you are gone. There will never be another for me. That, I promise you.

Jane closed her eyes, and leaned down to press her lips against the still form of her only love as she plunged the blade deep into the woman's chest. She stayed there, letting her tears flow freely and the blood from her hand mingle with that of the young scientist's. The mixture flowed through the pipes and filled the last portion of the key, weighing heavily enough on the pedestal to force it into the Forge of Ages.

She dropped the sword, and wrapped her arms around the woman, silently begging for her forgiveness. It seemed that the heavens stopped time so that she might grieve, and she stood there for what seemed like hours, crying into the shoulder of her now lifeless love.

After an eternity, she stepped back, and gently closed the woman's eyes.

Sleep soundly, my love. I will join you soon, when my task is done. I will join you in eternal slumber, and together we will fly across the heavens, and laugh at these dark days.

She turned away from the gruesome scene, and stepped out of the courtyard, gripping the completed key that was now just hovering at the entrance in her bloodied left hand.

A wave of silver ice shattered the crystalline universe, and carried Jane away into the darkness…