Title: Spiderwoman

Pairing: North Italy (Veneziano) x Fem!Germany

Rating: K plus, I think

Giggling happily to himself, Italy Veneziano, also known as North Italy (or Italy to those who had, sadly, forgotten about his older brother, South Italy) or Feliciano Vargas, began gathering the ingredients for pasta. You see, Feliciano loved pasta. In fact, if he had never met Germany (also known as Louise Beilschmidt when she wanted to pass as a human) he might have never found something he liked more than pasta. Ever. He liked pasta that much, folks!

Which meant he liked Louise a lot more than that, but that's a story for a different time. Maybe.

Feliciano grabbed a couple eggs, some flour, and some salt, setting them all on the counter. Then he debated out loud to himself about where he had put the pasta slicer-ma-jiggy, humming the whole time. (Which isn't an easy task while talking to yourself, but he managed it.)

"I know where I put it!" he cried suddenly to himself. He shrieked at the sudden noise and dropped the spoonful of salt he had been holding. He put a hand to his heart and tried to calm himself, and then burst into giggles. "Hee hee, I just scared myself!" he said gleefully. "I'm so silly!" and back he went to humming and mixing and preparing.

Louise sighed from her place behind the door. She had been watching her boyfriend ever since he had first walked into the room and she had to admit, even to herself, that he was extremely airheaded and easily-frightened. She still loved him, of course, but sometimes she felt as if their roles were reversed. For instance, she was the boss, the responsible one, and she was actually taller than Feliciano, which everyone seemed to find rather strange. She didn't care about that, though.

"Maybe I should call mio fratello and invite him over for dinner!"

Now, Louise did care about that. Feliciano's brother, South Italy/Romano, was... well... he... he hated Louise, was completely annoying, and couldn't seem to speak without swearing at least seventeen times a sentence. In fact, Louise hadn't heard him say anything without swearing except when he was talking to his... "friend" Spain.

Louise opened her mouth to speak and began walking through the kitchen door when-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

Suddenly she had been shoved to the ground by a speeding torpedo- I mean, Feliciano. She grabbed him by the shoulders and slowly sat up with him sprawled in her lap, golden brown eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Feliciano, what's wrong?" she asked gently. "Why did you scream like that?"

Feliciano sniffled a bit and rubbed his eyes with his hand. "I-I-I s-saw a s-s-s-" He swallowed and then closed his eyes, a determined look on his face. "A spider!" Louise clapped a hand over her mouth and tried not to scream, but not because of the smile. Feli was so cute Gott why did he do this to her ungh she just wanted to grab him and cuddle him and-

"It's okay Feli, I'll take care of the spider for you," she reassured him with a small smile.

"Grazie~!" he said. He leaned in and gave her a light, feathery kiss on the cheek, and Louise felt that her life was, in that moment, complete.

"You're like Spiderwoman!" Feliciano said happily, getting out of her lap and pulling her to her feet.

"Am I?"

"Aren't you?"

"Does that mean you're going to kiss me upside down now?"

"Sure, if you want to!"

"Okay then."

"But only after the pasta's done!"

"..."

"Pasta is very important!"

Louise sighed slightly, then smiled and laughed at her boyfriend. "Okay then, pasta comes first, but after that I'm kissing you upside down."

"What about rightside up too?"

"Rightside up too," Louise said with a nod.

"Okay good!" Feliciano skipped happily back into the kitchen, singing all the while about pasta and kisses, which Louise found incredibly cute. She was just about to follow him inside when the air was peirced by a scream yet again.

Feli had forgotten about the spider.

A/N Okay I am SO SORRY to the guest who requested this, I don't know what happened! I must have been checking my reviews while I was mostly asleep and then completely forgotten about this and I FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE PERSON FORGIVE MEEEEEEEEE! *sobs on floor*

And I'm sorry this is so fucking short... *continues sobbing on floor*

Anyways, concept brought to you by VivaAmerica. Please forgiveth me.